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CLARISSAHARLOWE
orthe
HISTORYOFAYOUNGLADY
NineVolumesVolumeIX.
CONTENTSOFVOLUMEIX
LETTERI.BelfordtoLovelace.--Hersilentdevotion.Strongsymptomsofherapproachingdissolution.Comfortshercousinandhim.Wishesshehadherparents'lastblessing:butGod,shesays,wouldnotletherdependforcomfortonanybutHimself.RepeatsherrequesttotheColonel,thathewillnotseektoavengeherwrongs;andtoBelford,thathewillendeavourtohealallbreaches.
LETTERII.Fromthesame.--TheColonelwritestoMr.JohnHarlowethattheymaynowsparethemselves
thetroubleofdebatingaboutareconciliation.TheladytakesfromherbosomaminiaturepictureofMissHowe,tobegiventoMr.Hickmanafterherdecease.Heraffectingaddresstoit,onpartingwithit.
LETTERIII.BelfordtoMowbray.--DesireshimandTourvilletothrowthemselvesinthewayofLovelace,inordertopreventhimdoingeithermischieftohimselforothers,onthereceiptofthefatalnewswhichheshallprobablysendhiminanhourortwo.
LETTERIV.LovelacetoBelford.--Aletterfilledwithrage,curses,andalternatedespairandhope.
LETTERV.BelfordtoLovelace.--Withthefatalhint,thathemaytakeatourtoParis,orwhereverelsehisdestinyshallleadhim.
LETTERVI.MowbraytoBelford.--Withtheparticulars,inhislibertinemanner,ofLovelace'sbehaviouronhisreceivingthefatalbreviate,andofthedistractedwayheisin.
LETTERVII.BelfordtoLovelace.--ParticularsofClarissa'strulychristianbehaviourinherlasthours.Ashortsketchofhercharacter.
LETTERVIII.Fromthesame.--
Thethreenextfollowinglettersbroughtbyaservantinlivery,directedtothedepartedlady,viz.
LETTERIX.FromMrs.Norton.--Withthenewsofageneralreconciliationuponherownconditions.
LETTERX.FromMissArabella.--Inwhichsheassuresherofalltheirreturningloveandfavour.
LETTERXI.FromMr.JohnHarlowe.--
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Regrettingthatthingshavebeencarriedsofar;anddesiringhertoexcusehispartinwhathadpassed.
LETTERXII.BelfordtoLovelace.--Hisexecutorialproceedings.Elevenposthumouslettersofthelady.Copyofoneofthemwrittentohimself.TellsLovelaceofonewrittentohim,inpursuanceofherpromiseinherallegoricalletter.(SeeLetterXVIII.ofVol.VIII.)Otherexecutorialproceedings.TheColonel'slettertoJamesHarlowe,signifyingClarissa'srequesttobeburiedatthefeetofhergrandfather.
LETTERXIII.Fromthesame.--Mrs.Nortonarrives.Hersurpriseandgrieftofindherbelovedyoungladydeparted.Theposthumousletterscalculatedtogivecomfort,andnottoreproach.
LETTERXIV.XV.XVI.XVII.XVIII.CopiesofClarissa'sposthumousletterstoherfather,mother,brother,sister,anduncle.
SubstanceofherlettertoherauntHervey,concludingwithadvicetohercousinDolly.
SubstanceofherlettertoMissHowe,withadviceinfavourofMr.
Hickman.LETTERXIX.BelfordtoLovelace.--ThewretchedSinclairbreaksherleg,anddispatchesSallyMartintobegavisitfromhim,andthathewillprocureforhertheforgiveness.Sally'sremorseforthetreatmentshegaveheratRowland's.Acknowledgesthelady'sruintobeinagreatmeasureowingtotheirinstigations.
LETTERXX.Fromthesame.--MissHowe'sdistressonreceivingthefatalnews,andtheposthumouslettersdirectedtoher.CopyofJamesHarlowe'sanswertoColonelMorden'sletter,inwhichherelatestheunspeakabledistressofthe
family;endeavourstoexculpatehimself;desiresthebodymaybesentdowntoHarlowe-place;andthattheColonelwillfavourthemwithhiscompany.
LETTERXXI.BelfordtoLovelace.--Thecorpsesentdown,attendedbytheColonelandMrs.Norton.
LETTERXXII.MowbraytoBelford.--AnaccountofLovelace'sdeliriousunmanageableness,andextravagantdesign,hadtheynotallinterposed.TheyhavegotLordM.tohim.HeendeavourstojustifyLovelacebyrakishprinciples,andbyatruestoryofavillanywhichhethinksgreaterthanthatofLovelacebyClarissa.
LETTERXXIII.LovelacetoBelford.--Writtenintheheightofhisdelirium.Thewholeworld,hesays,isbutonegreatBedlam.Everyoneinitmadbuthimself.
LETTERXXIV.BelfordtoMowbray.--DesiresthatLovelace,onhisrecovery,maybeprevailedupontogoabroad;andwhy.ExhortshimandTourvilletoreform,asheisresolvedtodo.
LETTERXXV.BelfordtoLovelace.--
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Describingtheterribleimpatience,despondency,anddeathofthewretchedSinclair.
[Asthebadhouseisoftenmentionedinthiswork,withoutanyotherstigmathanwhatarisesfromthewickedprinciplesandactionsoccasionallygivenofthewretcheswhoinhabitit;Mr.Belfordhereentersintothesecretretirementsofthosecreatures,andexposesthemintheappearancestheyaresupposedtomake,beforetheyaretrickedouttoensnareweakandinconsiderateminds.]
LETTERXXVI.ColonelMordentoMr.Belford.--WithanaccountofhisarrivalatHarlowe-placebeforethebody.Thedreadfuldistressofthewholefamilyinexpectationofitscoming.ThedeepremorseofJamesandArabellaHarlowe.Mutualrecriminationsonrecollectingthenumerousinstancesoftheirinexorablecruelty.Mrs.NortonsoillhewasforcedtoleaveheratSt.Alban's.Hedatesagaintogiveafartheraccountoftheirdistressonthearrivalofthehearse.Solemnrespectpaidtohermemorybycrowdsofpeople.
LETTERXXVII.Fromthesame.--FartherinterestingaccountsofwhatpassedamongtheHarlowes.MissHoweexpectedtosee,forthelasttime,herbelovedfriend.
LETTERXXVIII.Fromthesame.--
MissHowearrives.TheColonelreceivesher.Hertenderwoe;andcharacteristicbehaviour.
LETTERXXIX.ColonelMordentoMr.Belford.--Mrs.Nortonarrives.Amendedinspirits.Towhatowing.Fartherrecriminationsoftheunhappyparents.Theyattempttoseethecorpse;butcannot.Couldeverwilfulhard-heartedness,theColonelasks,bemoreseverelypunished?Substanceofthelady'sposthumouslettertoMrs.Norton.
LETTERXXX.Fromthesame.--Accountofthefuneralsolemnity.Headsoftheeulogium.Theuniversaljusticedonetothelady'sgreatandgoodqualities.Otheraffecting
particulars.
LETTERXXXI.BelfordtoColonelMorden.--Complimentshimonhispatheticnarratives.Fartheraccountofhisexecutorialproceedings.
LETTERXXXII.JamesHarlowetoBelford.
LETTERXXXIII.Mr.Belford.Inanswer.
Thelady'sLASTWILL.Inthepreambletowhich,aswellasinthebodyofit,shegivesseveralinstructivehints;anddisplays,inanexemplarymanner,herforgivingspirit,herpiety,hercharity,hergratitude,and
otherchristianandheroicvirtues.
LETTERXXXIV.ColonelMordentoMr.Belford.--Thewillread.Whatpassedontheoccasion.
LETTERXXXV.BelfordtoLordM.--ApprehendsavindictiveresentmentfromtheColonel.--DesiresthatMr.Lovelacemaybeprevailedupontotakeatour.
LETTERXXXVI.MissMontague.Inanswer.
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Summaryaccountofproceedingsrelatingtotheexecutionofthelady'swill,andothermatters.SubstanceofaletterfromMr.BelfordtoMr.Hickman;ofMr.Hickman'sanswer;andofaletterfromMissHowetoMr.Belford.
LETTERXXXVII.LovelacetoBelford.--Describinghisdeliriumasdawningintosenseandrecollection.Allisconscienceandhorrorwithhim,hesays.Adescriptionofhismiseryatitsheight.
LETTERXXXVIII.Fromthesame.--Revokeshislastletter,asashamedofit.Yetbreaksintofitsandstarts,andisreadytogobackagain.Why,heasks,didhismotherbringhimuptoknownocontroul?Hisheartsickensattherecollectionofwhathewas.Dreadsthereturnofhismalady.Makesanefforttoforgetall.
LETTERXXXIX.LovelacetoBelford.--Ispreparingtoleavethekingdom.Hisroute.Seasonablewarnings,thoughdeliveredinaludicrousmanner,onBelford'sresolutiontoreform.Complainsthathehasbeenstrangelykeptinthedarkoflate.Demandsacopyofthelady'swill.
LETTERXL.BelfordtoLovelace.--JusticelikelytoovertakehisinstrumentTomlinson.Onwhatoccasion.Thewretchedman'sremorseonthelady'saccount.BelfordurgesLovelacetogoabroadforhishealth.Answersveryseriouslytothewarningshegiveshim.Amiableschemefortheconductofhisfuturelife.
LETTERXLI.LovelacetoBelford.--PitiesTomlinson.Findsthatheisdeadinprison.Happythathelivednottobehanged.Why.Nodiscomfortsogreatbutsomecomfortmaybedrawnfromit.EndeavourstodefendhimselfbyawhimsicalcasewhichheputsbetweenA.amiser,andB.athief.
LETTERXLII.Fromthesame.--
Ridiculeshimontheschemeoflifehehasdrawnoutforhimself.InhismannergivesBelfordsomefarthercautionsandwarnings.Reproacheshimfornotsavingthelady.Abreachofconfidenceinsomecasesismoreexcusablethantokeepasecret.Rallieshimonhispersonandair,onhiscousinCharlotte,andthewidowLovick.
LETTERXLIII.Mr.BelfordtoColonelMorden.--Onadeclarationhehadmade,oftakingvengeanceofMr.Lovelace.Hisargumentswithhimonthatsubject,fromvarioustopics.
LETTERXLIV.TheLady'sposthumouslettertohercousinMorden.--ContainingargumentsagainstDUELLING,aswellaswithregardtoherparticularcase,asingeneral.SeealsoLetterXVI.toherbrother,on
thesamesubject.
LETTERXLV.ColonelMordentoMr.Belford.--Inanswertohispleasagainstavenginghiscousin.Hepaintsinverystrongcoloursthegriefanddistressofthewholefamily,onthelossofachild,whosecharacterandexcellenciesriseuponthemtotheirtorment.
LETTERXLVI.ColonelMordentoMr.Belford.--Fartherparticularsrelatingtotheexecutionofthelady'swill.Gives
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histhoughtsofwomen'sfriendshipsingeneral;ofthatofMissHoweandhiscousin,inparticular.Anearlyhabitoffamiliarletter-writing,howimproving.CensuresMissHoweforherbehaviourtoMr.Hickman.Mr.Hickman'sgoodcharacter.Cautiontoparentswhodesiretopreservetheirchildren'svenerationforthem.Mr.Hickman,unknowntoMissHowe,putshimselfandequipageinmourningforClarissa.Herlivelyturnuponhimonthatoccasion.Whathe,theColonel,expectsfromthegenerosityofMissHowe,inrelationtoMr.Hickman.Weaknessofsuchasareafraidofmakingtheirlastwills.
LETTERXLVII.BelfordtoMissHowe.--WithcopiesofClarissa'sposthumousletters;andrespectfully,asfromColonelMordenandhimself,remindingherofherperformingherpartofherdearfriend'slastdesires,inmakingoneofthemostdeservingmeninEnglandhappy.InformsherofthedeliriumofLovelace,inordertomovehercompassionforhim,andofthedreadfuldeathofSinclairandTomlinson.
LETTERXLVIII.MissHowetoMr.Belford.--Observationsonthelettersandsubjectshecommunicatestoher.Shepromisesanotherletter,inanswertohisandColonelMorden'scalluponherinMr.Hickman'sfavour.ApplaudstheColonelforpurchasingherbelovedfriend'sjewels,inordertopresentthemtoMissDollyHervey.
LETTERXLIX.Fromthesame.--Sheaccountsfor,thoughnotdefends,hertreatmentofMr.Hickman.Sheownsthatheisamanworthyofabetterchoice;thatshevaluesnomanmorethanhim:andassuresMr.BelfordandtheColonelthatherendeavoursshallnotbewantingtomakehimhappy.
LETTERL.Mr.BelfordtoMissHowe.--Aletterfullofgratefulacknowledgementsforthefavourofher's.
LETTERLI.LordM.toMr.Belford.--Acquaintinghimwithhiskinsman'ssettingoutforLondon,inordertoembark.WisheshimtopreventameetingbetweenhimandMr.Morden.
LETTERLII.Mr.BelfordtoLordM.--HashadavisitfromMr.Lovelace.Whatpassedbetweenthemontheoccasion.HasaninterviewwithColonelMorden.
LETTERLIII.Mr.BelfordtoLordM.--JustreturnedfromattendingMr.LovelacepartofhiswaytowardsDover.Theirsolemnparting.
LETTERLIV.Fromthesame.--AnaccountofwhatpassedbetweenhimselfandColonelMordenattheirnextmeeting.Theiraffectionateparting.
LETTERLV.MissHowetoMr.Belford.--
Gives,athisrequest,thecharacterofherbelovedfriendatlarge;andanaccountoftheparticulardistributionofhertimeinthetwenty-fourhoursofthenaturalday.
LETTERLVI.LovelacetoBelford,fromParis.--Consciencetheconquerorofsouls.Hecannotrunawayfromhisreflections.HedesiresaparticularaccountofallthathaspassedsinceheleftEngland.
LETTERLVII.BelfordtoLovelace.--
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Answershimastoalltheparticularshewritesabout.
LETTERLVIII.LovelacetoBelford.--HasreceivedaletterfromJosephLeman(who,hesays,isconscience-ridden)toinformhimthatColonelMordenresolvestohavehiswillofhim.Hecannotbeartobethreatened.HewillwritetotheColoneltoknowhispurpose.Hecannotgetoffhisregretsonaccountofthedearladyforthebloodofhim.
LETTERLIX.BelfordtoLovelace.--Itwouldbematterofseriousreflectiontohim,hesays,ifthatveryLeman,whohadbeenhismachine,shouldbetheinstrumentofhisfall.
LETTERLX.LovelacetoBelford.--HaswrittentotheColoneltoknowhisintention:butyetinsuchamannerthathemayhandsomelyavoidtakingitasachallenge;though,inthelikecase,heownsthathehimselfshouldnot.CopyofhislettertotheColonel.
LETTERLXI.Fromthesame.--HeisnowinhiswaytoTrent,inordertomeetColonelMorden.Heissureofvictory:butwillnot,ifhecanhelpit,outofregardtoClarissa,killtheColonel.
LETTERLXII.Fromthesame.--InterviewwithColonelMorden.To-morrow,sayshe,isthedaythatwill,inallprobability,sendeitheroneortwoghoststoattendthemanesofmyClarissa.HedoubtsnottogivetheColonelhislife,orhisdeath;andtobeable,bynextmorningeleven,towritealltheparticulars.
LETTERLXIV.THEISSUEOFTHEDUEL.
CONCLUSION
POSTSCRIPT
THEHISTORY
OF
CLARISSAHARLOWE
LETTERI
MR.BELFORD[INCONTINUATION.]
SOHO,SIXO'CLOCK,SEPT.7.
Theladyisstillalive.TheColonelhavingjustsenthisservanttoletmeknowthatsheinquiredaftermeaboutanhourago,Iamdressingtoattendher.Joelbegsofmetodispatchhimback,thoughbutwithonelinetogratifyyourpresentimpatience.Heexpects,hesays,tofindyouatKnightsbridge,lethimmakewhathastehecanback;and,ifhehasnotalineortwotopacifyyou,heisafraidyouwillpistolhim;forheapprehendsthatyouarehardlyyourself.Ithereforedispatchthis,and
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willhaveanotherready,assoonasIcan,withparticulars.--Butyoumusthavealittlepatience;forhowcanIwithdrawmyselfeveryhalfhourtowrite,ifIamadmittedtothelady'spresence,orifIamwiththeColonel?
SMITH'S,EIGHTINTHEMORNING.
Theladyisinaslumber.Mrs.Lovick,whosatupwithher,saysshehadabetternightthanwasexpected;foralthoughshesleptlittle,sheseemedeasy;andtheeasierforthepiousframeshewasin;allherwakingmomentsbeingtakenupindevotion,orinanejaculatorysilence;herhandsandeyesoftenliftedup,andherlipsmovingwithafervourworthyoftheseherlasthours.
TENO'CLOCK.
TheColonelbeingearnesttoseehiscousinassoonassheawoke,wewerebothadmitted.Weobservedinher,assoonasweentered,strongsymptomsofherapproachingdissolution,notwithstandingwhatthewomenhadflattereduswithfromherlastnight'stranquillity.--TheColonelandI,eachlothtosaywhatwethought,lookedupononeanotherwithmelancholycountenances.
TheColoneltoldherheshouldsendaservanttoheruncleAntony'sforsomepapershehadleftthere;andaskedifshehadanycommandsthatway.
Shethoughtnot,shesaid,speakingmoreinwardlythanshedidthedaybefore.ShehadindeedaletterreadytobesenttohergoodNorton;andtherewasarequestintimatedinit.Butitwastimeenough,iftherequestweresignifiedtothosewhomitconcernedwhenallwasover.--However,itmightbesentthembytheservantwhowasgoingthatway.AndshecausedittobegiventotheColonelforthatpurpose.
Herbreathbeingveryshort,shedesiredanotherpillow.Havingtwo
before,thismadeherinamannersitupinherbed;andshespokethenwithmoredistinctness;and,seeingusgreatlyconcerned,forgotherownsufferingstocomfortus;andacharminglectureshegaveus,thoughabriefone,uponthehappinessofatimelypreparation,anduponthehazardsofalaterepentance,whenthemind,assheobserved,wassomuchweakened,aswellasthebody,astorenderapoorsoulhardlyabletocontendwithitsnaturalinfirmities.
Ibeseechye,mygoodfriends,proceededshe,mournnotforonewhomournsnot,norhascausetomourn,forherself.Onthecontrary,rejoicewithme,thatallmyworldlytroublesaresoneartotheirend.Believeme,Sirs,thatIwouldnot,ifImight,choosetolive,althoughthepleasantestpartofmylifeweretocomeoveragain:andyeteighteen
yearsofit,outofnineteen,havebeenverypleasant.Tobesomuchexposedtotemptation,andtobesoliabletofailinthetrial,whowouldnotrejoicethatallherdangersareover?--AllIwishedwaspardonandblessingfrommydearparents.Easyasmydepartureseemspromisedtobe,itwouldhavebeenstilleasier,hadIthatpleasure.BUTGODALMIGHTYWOULDNOTLETMEDEPENDFORCOMFORTUPONANYBUTHIMSELF.
Shethenrepeatedherrequest,inthemostearnestmanner,tohercousin,thathewouldnotheightenherfault,byseekingtoavengeherdeath;tome,thatIwouldendeavourtomakeupallbreaches,andusethepowerI
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hadwithmyfriend,topreventallfuturemischiefsfromhim,aswellasthatwhichthistrustmightgivemetopreventanytohim.
Shemadesomeexcusestohercousin,fornothavingbeenabletoalterherwill,tojoinhimintheexecutorshipwithme;andtome,forthetroubleshehadgiven,andyetshouldgiveme.
Shehadfatiguedherselfsomuch,(growingsensiblyweaker)thatshesunkherheaduponherpillows,readytofaint;andwewithdrewtothewindow,lookingupononeanother;butcouldnottellwhattosay;andyetbothseemedinclinabletospeak:butthemotionpassedoverinsilence.Oureyesonlyspoke;andthatinamannerneither'swereusedto--mine,atleast,nottillIknewthisadmirablecreature.
TheColonelwithdrewtodismisshismessenger,andsendawaythelettertoMrs.Norton.Itooktheopportunitytoretirelikewise;andtowritethusfar.AndJoelreturningtotakeit,Inowclosehere.
ELEVENO'CLOCK.
LETTERII
MR.BELFORD[INCONTINUATION.]
TheColoneltellsmethathehadwrittentoMr.JohnHarlowe,byhisservant,'Thattheymightsparethemselvesthetroubleofdebatingaboutareconciliation;forthathisdearcousinwouldprobablybenomorebeforetheycouldresolve.'
Heaskedmeafterhiscousin'smeansofsubsisting;andwhethershehadacceptedofanyfavourfromme;hewassure,hesaid,shewouldnotfromyou.
Iacquaintedhimwiththetruthofherpartingwithsomeofherapparel.
Thiswrunghisheart;andbitterlydidheexclaimaswellagainstyouasagainstherimplacablerelations.
HewishedhehadnotcometoEnglandatall,orhadcomesooner;andhopedIwouldapprizehimofthewholemournfulstory,ataproperseason.Headded,thathehadthoughts,whenhecameover,offixingherefortheremainderofhisdays;butnow,asitwasimpossiblehiscousincouldrecover,hewouldgoabroadagain,andre-settlehimselfatFlorenceorLeghorn.
Theladyhasbeengivingorders,withgreatpresenceofmind,abouther
body!directinghernurseandthemaidofthehousetoputherinthecoffinassoonassheiscold.Mr.Belford,shesaid,wouldknowtherestbyherwill.
***
Shehasjustnowgivenfromherbosom,whereshealwaysworeit,aminiaturepicture,setingold,ofMissHowe.ShegaveittoMrs.
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Lovick,desiringhertofolditupinwhitepaper,anddirectit,ToCharlesHickman,Esq.andtogiveittome,whenshewasdeparted,forthatgentleman.
Shelookeduponthepicture,beforeshegaveither--Sweetandever-amiablefriend!--Companion!--Sister!--Lover!saidshe--andkisseditfourseveraltimes,onceateachtenderappellation.
***
Yourotherservantiscome.--Wellmayyoubeimpatient!--Wellmayyou!--ButdoyouthinkIcanleaveoff,inthemiddleofaconversation,torunandsetdownwhatoffers,andsenditawaypiece-mealasIwrite?--IfIcould,mustInotloseonehalf,whileIputdowntheother?
Thiseventisnearlyasinterestingtomeasitistoyou.IfyouaremoregrievedthanI,therecanbebutonereasonforit;andthat'satyourheart!--IhadratherloseallthefriendsIhaveintheworld,(yourselfinthenumber,)thanthisdivinelady;andshallbeunhappywheneverIthinkofhersufferings,andofhermerit;thoughIhavenothingtoreproachmyselfbyreasonoftheformer.
Isaynotthis,justnow,somuchtoreflectuponyouastoexpressmyowngrief;thoughyourconscienceIsuppose,willmakeyouthinkotherwise.
Yourpoorfellow,whosaysthathebegsforhislife,indesiringtobedispatchedbackwithaletter,tearsthisfromme--else,perhaps,(forIamjustsentfordown,)aquarterofanhourwouldmakeyou--noteasyindeed--butcertain--andthat,inastatelikeyour's,toamindlikeyour's,isarelief.
THURSDAYAFTERNOON,FOURO'CLOCK.
LETTERIII
MR.BELFORD,TORICHARDMOWBRAY,ESQ.THURSDAYAFTERNOON.
DEARMOWBRAY,
Iamgladtohearyouareintown.Throwyourselfthemomentthiscomestoyourhand,(ifpossiblewithTourville,)inthewayofthemanwholeastofallmendeservestheloveoftheworthyheart;butmostthatofthineandTourville;elsethenewsIshallmostprobablysendhimwithin
anhourortwo,willmakeannihilationthegreatestblessinghehastowishfor.
YouwillfindhimbetweenPiccadillyandKensington,mostprobablyonhorseback,ridingbackwardsandforwardsinacrazyway;orputup,perhaps,atsomeinnortavernintheway--awaiterpossibly,ifso,watchingforhisservant'sreturntohimfromme.
***
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HismanWill.isjustcometome.Hewillcarrythistoyouinhiswayback,andbeyourdirector.Hieawayinacoach,oranyhow.Yourbeingwithhimmaysaveeitherhisoraservant'slife.Seetheblessedeffectsoftriumphantlibertinism!Soonerorlateritcomeshometous,andallconcludesingallandbitterness!
Adieu.J.BELFORD.
LETTERIV
MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.
CurseupontheColonel,andcurseuponthewriterofthelastletterIreceived,anduponalltheworld!ThoutopretendtobeasmuchinterestedinmyClarissa'sfateasmyself!--'Tiswellforoneofusthatthiswasnotsaidtome,insteadofwritten.--Livingordying,sheismine--andonlymine.HaveInotearnedherdearly?--Isnotd----n----nlikelytobethepurchasetome,thoughahappyeternitywillbeher's?
Aneternalseparation!--OGod!OGod!--HowcanIbearthatthought!--Butyetthereislife!--Yet,therefore,hope--enlargemyhope,andthoushaltbemygoodgenius,andIwillforgivetheeeverything.
Forthislasttime--butitmustnot,shallnotbethelast--Letmehear,themomentthoureceivestthis--whatIamtobe--for,atpresent,Iam
ThemostmiserableofMen.
ROSE,ATKNIGHTSBRIDGE,FIVEO'CLOCK.
MyfellowtellsmethatthouartsendingMowbrayandTourvilletome:--Iwantthemnot--mysoul'ssickofthem,andofalltheworld--butmostofmyself.Yet,astheysendmewordtheywillcometomeimmediately,Iwillwaitforthem,andforthynext.OBelford,letitnotbe--Buthastenit,bewhatitmay!
LETTERV
MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.SEVENO'CLOCK,THURSDAYEVENING,SEPT.7.
Ihaveonlytosayatpresent--ThouwiltdowelltotakeatourtoParis;orwhereverelsethydestinyshallleadthee!----
JOHNBELFORD.
LETTERVI
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MR.MOWBRAY,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.UXBRIDGE,SEPT.7,BETWEENELEVENANDTWELVEATNIGHT.
DEARJACK,
IsendbypoorLovelace'sdesire,forparticularsofthefatalbreviatethousentesthimthisnight.Hecannotbeartosetpentopaper;yetwantstoknoweveryminutepassageofMissHarlowe'sdeparture.Yetwhyheshould,Icannotsee:forifsheisgone,sheisgone;andwhocanhelpit?
Ineverheardofsuchawomaninmylife.Whatgreatmattershasshesuffered,thatgriefshouldkillherthus?
Iwishthepoorfellowhadneverknownher.Fromfirsttolast,whattroubleshehascosthim!Thecharmingfellowhadbeenhalflosttouseversincehepursuedher.Andwhatisthereinonewomanmorethananother,formatterofthat?
Itwaswellwewerewithhimwhenyournotecame.Yourshowedyourtruefriendshipinyourforesight.Why,Jack,thepoorfellowwasquitebesidehimself--madasanymaneverwasinBedlam.
Will.broughthimtheletterjustafterwehadjoinedhimattheBohemiaHead;wherehehadleftwordattheRoseatKnightsbridgeheshouldbe;forhehadbeensaunteringupanddown,backwardsandforwards,expectingus,andhisfellow.Will.,assoonashedeliveredit,gotoutofhisway;and,whenheopenedit,neverwassuchapieceofscenery.Hetrembledlikeadevilatreceivingit:fumbledattheseal,hisfingersinapalsy,likeTom.Doleman's;hishandshake,shake,shake,thathetoretheletterintwo,beforehecouldcomeatthecontents:and,whenhehadreadthem,offwenthishattoonecorneroftheroom,hiswigtotheother--D--n--nseizetheworld!andawholevolleyofsuch-likeexcratiouswishes;runningupanddowntheroom,andthrowingupthesash,andpullingitdown,andsmitinghisforeheadwithhisdoublefist,withsuchforceaswouldhavefelledasox,andstampingandtearing,
thatthelandlordranin,andfasteroutagain.Andthiswasthedistractionsceneforsometime.
InvainwasallJemmyorIcouldsaytohim.Iofferedoncetotakeholdofhishands,becausehewasgoingtodohimselfamischief,asIbelieved,lookingaboutforhispistols,whichhehadlaiduponthetable,butwhichWill.,unseen,hadtakenoutwithhim,[afaithful,honestdog,thatWill.!Ishallforeverlovethefellowforit,]andhehitmead--ddowseofthechops,asmademynosebleed.'Twaswell'twashe,forIhardlyknewhowtotakeit.
Jemmyravedathim,andtoldhim,howwickeditwasinhim,tobesobrutishtoabuseafriend,andrunmadforawoman.Andthenhesaidhe
wassorryforit;andthenWill.venturedinwithwaterandatowel;andthedogrejoiced,asIcouldseebyhislook,thatIhaditratherthanhe.
Andso,bydegrees,webroughthimalittletohisreason,andhepromisedtobehavemorelikeaman.AndsoIforgavehim:andwerodeoninthedarktohereatDoleman's.Andwealltriedtoshamehimoutofhismad,ungovernablefoolishness:forwetoldhim,ashowshewasbutawoman,andanobstinateperversewomantoo;andhowcouldhehelpit?
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Andyouknow,Jack,(aswetoldhim,moreover,)thatitwasashametomanhood,foraman,whohadservedtwentyandtwentywomenasbadorworse,lethimhaveservedMissHarloweneversobad,shouldgivehimselfsuchobstropulousairs,becauseshewoulddie:andweadvisedhimnevertoattemptawomanproudofhercharacterandvirtue,astheycallit,anymore:forwhy?Theconquestdidnotpaytrouble;andwhatwasthereinonewomanmorethananother?Hay,youknow,Jack!--Andthuswecomfortedhim,andadvisedhim.
Butyethisd--daddledpaterunsuponthisladyasmuchnowshe'sdeadasitdidwhenshewasliving.For,Isuppose,Jack,itisnojoke:sheiscertainlyandbonâfidedead:I'n'tshe?Ifnot,thoudeservesttobedoublyd--dforthyfooling,Itelltheethat.Sohewillhavemewriteforparticularsofherdeparture.
Hewon'tbeartheworddeadonanyaccount.Asqueamishpuppy!Howloveunmansandsoftens!Andsuchanoblefellowasthistoo!Rothimforanidiot,andanoaf!Ihavenopatiencewiththefoolishduncicaldog--uponmysoul,Ihavenot!
Sosendtheaccount,andlethimhowloverit,asIsupposehewill.
Buthemustandshallgoabroad:andinamonthortwoJemmy,andyou,andI,willjoinhim,andhe'llsoongetthebetterofthis
chicken-heartedfolly,neverfear;andwillthenbeashamedofhimself:andthenwe'llnotsparehim;thoughnow,poorfellow,itwerepitytolayhimonsothickashedeserves.Anddothou,tillthen,spareallreflectionsuponhim;for,itseems,thouhastworkedhimunmercifully.
Iwaswillingtogivetheesomeaccountofthehandwehavehadwiththetearingfellow,whohadcertainlybeenalostman,hadwenotbeenwithhim;orhewouldhavekilledsomebodyorother.Ihavenodoubtofit.Andnowheisbutverymiddling;sitsgrinninglikeamaninstraw;cursesandswears,andisconfoundedgloomy;andcreepsintoholesandcorners,likeanoldhedge-hoghuntedforhisgrease.
Andso,adieu,Jack.Tourville,andallofus,wishforthee;fornoone
hastheinfluenceuponhimthatthouhast.
R.MOWBRAY.
AsIpromisedhimthatIwouldwritefortheparticularsabovesaid,Iwritethisafterallaregonetobed;andthefellowissetoutwithitbyday-break.
LETTERVII
MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.THURSDAYNIGHT.
Imayaswelltrytowrite;since,wereItogotobed,Ishallnotsleep.Ineverhadsuchaweightofgriefuponmymindinmylife,asuponthedemiseofthisadmirablewoman;whosesoulisnowrejoicingintheregionsoflight.
Youmaybegladtoknowtheparticularsofherhappyexit.Iwilltry
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toproceed;forallishushandstill;thefamilyretired;butnotoneofthem,andleastofallherpoorcousin,Idaresay,torest.
Atfouro'clock,asImentionedinmylast,Iwassentfordown;and,asthouusedsttolikemydescriptions,Iwillgivetheethewoefulscenethatpresenteditselftome,asIapproachedthebed.
TheColonelwasthefirstthattookmyattention,kneelingonthesideofthebed,thelady'srighthandinbothhis,whichhisfacecovered,bathingitwithhistears;althoughshehadbeencomfortinghim,asthewomensincetoldme,inelevatedstrains,butbrokenaccents.
Ontheothersideofthebedsatthegoodwidow;herfaceoverwhelmedwithtears,leaningherheadagainstthebed'sheadinamostdisconsolatemanner;andturningherfacetome,assoonasshesawme,OMr.Belford,criedshe,withfoldedhands--thedearlady--Aheavysobpermittedhernottosaymore.
Mrs.Smith,withclaspedfingers,andupliftedeyes,asifimploringhelpfromtheonlyPowerwhichcouldgiveit,waskneelingdownatthebed'sfeet,tearsinlargedropstricklingdownhercheeks.
HernursewaskneelingbetweenthewidowandMrs.Smith,herarmsextended.Inonehandsheheldanineffectualcordial,whichshehad
justbeenofferingtoherdyingmistress;herfacewasswolnwithweeping(thoughusedtosuchscenesasthis);andsheturnedhereyestowardsme,asifshecalleduponmebythemtojoininthehelplesssorrow;afreshstreamburstingfromthemasIapproachedthebed.
Themaidofthehousewithherfaceuponherfoldedarms,asshestoodleaningagainstthewainscot,moreaudiblyexpresthergriefthananyoftheothers.
Theladyhadbeensilentafewminutes,andspeechless,astheythought,movingherlipswithoututteringaword;onehand,asIsaid,inhercousin's.ButwhenMrs.Lovick,onmyapproach,pronouncedmyname,OMr.Belford,saidshe,withafaintinwardvoice,butverydistinct
nevertheless--Now!--Now![inbrokenperiodsshespoke]--IblessGodforhismerciestohispoorcreature--allwillsoonbeover--afew--averyfewmoments--willendthisstrife--andIshallbehappy!
Comforthere,Sir--turningherheadtotheColonel--comfortmycousin--see!theblame--ablekindness--hewouldnotwishmetobehappy--sosoon!
Hereshestoptfortwoorthreeminutes,earnestlylookinguponhim.Thenresuming,MydearestCousin,saidshe,becomforted--whatisdyingbutthecommonlot?--Themortalframemayseemtolabour--butthatisall!--ItisnotsohardtodieasIbelievedittobe!--Thepreparationisthedifficulty--IblessGod,Ihavehadtimeforthat--therestis
worsetobeholders,thantome!--Iamallblessedhope--hopeitself.Shelookedwhatshesaid,asweetsmilebeamingoverhercountenance.
Afterashortsilence,Oncemore,mydearCousin,saidshe,butstillinbrokenaccents,commendmemostdutifullytomyfatherandmother--Thereshestopt.Andthenproceeding--Tomysister,tomybrother,tomyuncles--andtellthem,Iblessthemwithmypartingbreath--foralltheirgoodnesstome--evenfortheirdispleasure,Iblessthem--mosthappyhasbeentomemypunishmenthere!Happyindeed!
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Shewassilentforafewmoments,liftinguphereyes,andthehandhercousinheldnotbetweenhis.Then,ODeath!saidshe,whereisthysting![thewordsIremembertohaveheardintheburial-servicereadovermyuncleandpoorBelton.]Andafterapause--ItisgoodformethatIwasafflicted!Wordsofscripture,Isuppose.
Thenturningtowardsus,whowerelostinspeechlesssorrow--Odear,deargentlemen,saidshe,youknownotwhatforetastes--whatassurances--Andtheresheagainstopped,andlookedup,asifinathankfulrapture,sweetlysmiling.
Thenturningherheadtowardsme--Doyou,Sir,tellyourfriendthatIforgivehim!--AndIpraytoGodtoforgivehim!--Againpausing,andliftinguphereyesasifprayingthatHewould.LethimknowhowhappilyIdie:--Andthatsuchasmyown,Iwishtobehislasthour.
Shewasagainsilentforafewmoments:andthenresuming--Mysightfailsme!--Yourvoicesonly--[forwebothapplaudedherchristian,herdivineframe,thoughinaccentsasbrokenasherown];andthevoiceofgriefisalikeinall.IsnotthisMr.Morden'shand?pressingoneofhiswiththathehadjustletgo.WhichisMr.Belford's?holdingouttheother.Igavehermine.GodAlmightyblessyouboth,saidshe,andmakeyouboth--inyourlasthour--foryoumustcometothis--happyasIam.
Shepausedagain,herbreathgrowingshorter;and,afterafewminutes--Andnow,mydearestCousin,givemeyourhand--nearer--stillnearer--drawingittowardsher;andshepresseditwithherdyinglips--Godprotectyou,dear,dearSir--andoncemore,receivemybestandmostgratefulthanks--andtellmydearMissHowe--andvouchsafetosee,andtotellmyworthyNorton--shewillbeoneday,Ifearnot,thoughnowlowlyinherfortunes,asaintinHeaven--tellthemboth,thatIrememberthemwiththankfulblessingsinmylastmoments!--AndprayGodtogivethemhappinesshereformany,manyyears,forthesakeoftheirfriendsandlovers;andanheavenlycrownhereafter;andsuchassurancesofit,asIhave,throughtheall-satisfyingmeritsofmyblessedRedeemer.
Hersweetvoiceandbrokenperiodsmethinksstillfillmyears,andneverwillbeoutofmymemory.
Afterashortsilence,inamorebrokenandfaintaccent--Andyou,Mr.Belford,pressingmyhand,mayGodpreserveyou,andmakeyousensibleofallyourerrors--yousee,inme,howallends--mayyoube--Anddownsunkherheaduponherpillow,shefaintingaway,anddrawingfromusherhands.
Wethoughtshewasthengone;andeachgavewaytoaviolentburstofgrief.
Butsoonshowingsignsofreturninglife,ourattentionwasagain
engaged;andIbesoughther,whenalittlerecovered,tocompleteinmyfavourherhalf-pronouncedblessing.Shewavedherhandtousboth,andbowedherheadsixseveraltimes,aswehavesincerecollected,asifdistinguishingeverypersonpresent;notforgettingthenurseandthemaid-servant;thelatterhavingapproachedthebed,weeping,asifcrowdinginforthedivinelady'sblessing;andshespokefalteringandinwardly--Bless--bless--bless--youall--and--now--andnow--[holdingupheralmostlifelesshandsforthelasttime]come--Ocome--blessedLord--JESUS!
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Andwiththesewords,thelastbuthalf-pronounced,expired:--suchasmile,suchacharmingserenityoverspreadinghersweetfaceattheinstant,asseemedtomanifesthereternalhappinessalreadybegun.
OLovelace!--ButIcanwritenomore!
***
Iresumemypentoaddafewlines.
Whilewarm,thoughpulseless,wepressedeachherhandwithourlips;andthenretiredintothenextroom.
Welookedateachother,withintenttospeak:but,asifonemotiongoverned,asonecauseaffectedboth,weturnedawaysilent.
TheColonelsighedasifhisheartwouldburst:atlast,hisfaceandhandsuplifted,hisbacktowardsme,GoodHeaven!saidhetohimself,supportme!--Andisitthus,Oflowerofnature!--Thenpausing--Andmustwenomore--nevermore!--Myblessed,blessedCousin!utteringsomeotherwords,whichhissighsmadeinarticulate.--Andthen,asifrecollectinghimself--Forgiveme,Sir!--Excuseme,Mr.Belford!Andslidingbyme,
AnonIhopetoseeyou,Sir--Anddownstairshewent,andoutofthehouse,leavingmeastatue.
WhenIrecovered,IwasreadytorepineatwhatIthencalledanunequaldispensation;forgettingherhappypreparation,andstillhappierdeparture;andthatshehadbutdrawnacommonlot;triumphinginit,andleavingbehindhereveryonelessassuredofhappiness,thoughequallycertainthatthelotwouldonedaybetheirown.
Shedepartedexactlyatfortyminutesaftersixo'clock,asbyherwatchonthetable.
AndthusdiedMissCLARISSAHARLOWE,intheblossomofheryouthand
beauty:andwho,hertenderyearsconsidered,hadnotleftbehindherhersuperiorinextensiveknowledgeandwatchfulprudence;norhardlyherequalforunblemishedvirtue,exemplarypiety,sweetnessofmanners,discreetgenerosity,andtruechristiancharity:andtheseallsetoffbythemostgracefulmodestyandhumility;yetonallproperoccasions,manifestinganoblepresenceofmind,andtruemagnanimity:sothatshemaybesaidtohavebeennotonlyanornamenttohersex,buttohumannature.
Abetterpenthanminemaydoherfullerjustice.Thine,Imean,OLovelace!Forwelldostthouknowhowmuchsheexcelledinthegracesofbothmindandperson,naturalandacquired,allthatiswoman.Andthoualsocanbestaccountforthecausesofherimmaturedeath,throughthose
calamitieswhichinsoshortaspaceoftime,fromthehighestpitchoffelicity,(everyoneinamanneradoringher,)broughthetoanexitsohappyforherself,but,thatitwassoearly,somuchtobedeploredbyallwhohadthehonourofheracquaintance.
Thistask,then,Ileavetothee:butnowIcanwritenomore,onlythatIamasympathizerineverypartofthydistress,except(andyetitiscrueltosayit)inthatwhicharisesfromthyguilt.
ONEO'CLOCK,FRIDAYMORNING.
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LETTERVIII
MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.NINE,FRIDAYMORN.
Ihavenoopportunitytowriteatlength,havingnecessaryorderstogiveonthemelancholyoccasion.Joel,whogottomebysixinthemorning,andwhomIdispatchedinstantlybackwiththeletterIhadreadyfromlastnight,givesmebutanindifferentaccountofthestateofyourmind.Iwondernotatit;buttime(andnothingelsecan)willmakeiteasiertoyou:if(thatistosay)youhavecompoundedwithyourconscience;elseitmaybeheaviereverydaythanother.
***
Tourvilletellsuswhatawayyouarein.Ihopeyouwillnotthinkofcominghither.Theladyinherwilldesiresyoumaynotseeher.Fourcopiesaremakingofit.Itisalongone;forshegivesherreasonsfor
allshewills.IwillwritetoyoumoreparticularlyassoonaspossiblyIcan.
***
Threelettersarejustbroughtbyaservantinlivery,directedToMissClarissaHarlowe.Iwillsendcopiesofthemtoyou.Thecontentsareenoughtomakeonemad.Howwouldthispoorladyhaverejoicedtoreceivethem!--Andyet,ifshehad,shewouldnothavebeenenabledtosay,asshenoblydid,*ThatGodwouldnotletherdependforcomfortuponanybutHimself.--Andindeedforsomedayspastshehadseemedto
havegotaboveallworldlyconsiderations.--Herferventlove,evenforherMissHowe,assheacknowledged,havinggivenwaytosupremerfervours.**
*SeeLetterI.ofthisvolume.**SeeVol.VIII.LetterLXII.
LETTERIX
MRS.NORTON,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWE
WEDNESDAY,SEPT.6.
Atlength,mybestbelovedMissClary,everythingisinthewishedtrain:forallyourrelationsareunanimousinyourfavour.Evenyourbrotherandyoursisterarewiththeforemosttobereconciledtoyou.
Iknewitmustendthus!Bypatience,andperseveringsweetness,whatatriumphhaveyougained!
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Thishappychangeisowingtolettersreceivedfromyourphysician,fromyourcousinMorden,andfromMr.Brand.
ColonelMordenwillbewithyou,nodoubt,beforethiscanreachyou,withhispocket-bookfilledwithmoney-bills,thatnothingmaybewantingtomakeyoueasy.
Andnow,allourhopes,allourprayers,are,thatthisgoodnewsmayrestoreyoutospiritsandhealth;andthat(solongwithheld)itmaynotcometoolate.
IknowhowmuchyourdutifulheartwillberaisedwiththejoyfultidingsIwriteyou,andstillshallmoreparticularlytellyouof,whenIhavethehappinesstoseeyou:whichwillbebynextSunday,atfarthest;perhapsonFridayafternoon,bythetimeyoucanreceivethis.
Forthisday,beingsentforbythegeneralvoice,Iwasreceivedbyeveryonewithgreatgoodnessandcondescension,andentreated(forthatwasthewordtheywerepleasedtouse,whenIneedednoentreaty,Iamsure,)tohastenuptoyou,andtoassureyouofalltheiraffectionateregardstoyou:andyourfatherbidmesayallthekindthingsthatwereinmyhearttosay,inordertocomfortandraiseyouup,andtheywouldholdthemselvesboundtomakethemgood.
HowagreeableisthiscommissiontoyourNorton!Myheartwilloverflowwithkindspeeches,neverfear!IamalreadymeditatingwhatIshallsay,tocheerandraiseyouup,inthenamesofeveryonedearandneartoyou.AndsorryIamthatIcannotthismomentsetout,asImight,insteadofwriting,wouldtheyfavourmyeagerimpatiencewiththeirchariot;butasitwasnotoffered,itwouldbeapresumptiontohaveaskedforit:andto-morrowahiredchaiseandpairwillbeready;butatwhathourIknownot.
HowIlongoncemoretofoldmydear,preciousyoungladytomyfond,mymorethanfond,mymaternalbosom!
Yoursisterwillwritetoyou,andsendherletter,withthis,bya
particularhand.
ImustnotletthemseewhatIwrite,becauseofmywishaboutthechariot.
YouruncleHarlowewillalsowrite,and(Idoubtnot)inthekindestterms:fortheyareallextremelyalarmedandtroubledatthedangerouswayyourdoctorrepresentsyoutobein;aswellasdelightedwiththecharacterhegivesyou.WouldtoHeaventhegoodgentlemanhadwrittensooner!Andyethewrites,thatyouknownothehasnowwritten.Butitisallourconfidence,andourconsolation,thathewouldnothavewrittenatall,hadhethoughtittoolate.
Theywillprescribenoconditionstoyou,mydearyounglady;butwillleavealltoyourowndutyanddiscretion.OnlyyourbrotherandsisterdeclaretheywillneveryieldtocallMr.Lovelacebrother;norwillyourfather,Ibelieve,beeasilybroughttothinkofhimforason.
Iamtobringyoudownwithmeassoonasyourhealthandinclinationwillpermit.Youwillbereceivedwithopenarms.Everyonelongstoseeyou.Alltheservantspleasethemselvesthattheyshallbepermittedtokissyourhands.ThepertBetty'snoteisalreadychanged;andshenowrunsoverinyourjustpraises.Whatfriendsdoesprosperitymake!
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Whatenemiesadversity!Italwayswas,andalwayswillbeso,ineverystateoflife,fromthethronetothecottage.--Butletallbeforgottennowonthisjubileechange:andmayyou,mydearestMiss,becapableofrejoicinginthisgoodnews;asIknowyouwillrejoice,ifcapableofanything.
Godpreserveyoutoourhappymeeting!AndIwill,ifImaysayso,wearyHeavenwithmyincessantprayerstopreserveandrestoreyouafterwards!
IneednotsayhowmuchIam,mydearyounglady,Yourever-affectionateanddevoted,JUDITHNORTON.
Anunhappydelay,astothechaise,willmakeitSaturdaymorningbeforeIcanfoldyoutomyfondheart.
LETTERX
MISSARAB.HARLOWE,TOMISSCL.HARLOWEWEDN.MORN.SEPT.6.
DEARSISTER,
Wehavejustheardthatyouareexceedinglyill.Wealllovedyouasneveryoungcreaturewasloved:youaresensibleofthat,sisterClary.Andyouhavebeenverynaughty--butwecouldnotbeangryalways.
WeareindeedmoreafflictedwiththenewsofyourbeingsoveryillthanIcanexpress;forIseenotbut,afterthisseparation,(asweunderstandthatyourmisfortunehasbeengreaterthanyourfault,andthat,howeverunhappy,youhavedemeanedyourselflikethegoodyoungcreatureyouusedtobe,)weshallloveyoubetter,ifpossible,than
ever.
Takecomfort,therefore,sisterClary,anddon'tbetoomuchcastdown--whateveryourmortificationsmaybefromsuchnobleprospectsover-clouded,andfromthereflectionsyouwillhavefromwithin,onyourfaultystep,andfromthesullyingofsuchacharmingcharacterbyit,youwillreceivenonefromanyofus;and,asanearnestofyourpapa'sandmamma'sfavourandreconciliation,theyassureyoubymeoftheirblessingandhourlyprayers.
Ifitwillbeanycomforttoyou,andmymotherfindsthisletterisreceivedasweexpect,(whichweshallknowbythegoodeffectitwillhaveuponyourhealth,)shewillherselfgototowntoyou.Mean-time,
thegoodwomanyousodearlylovewillbehasteneduptoyou;andshewritesbythisopportunity,toacquaintyouofit,andofallourreturninglove.
Ihopeyouwillrejoiceatthisgoodnews.Prayletushearthatyoudo.Yournextgratefulletteronthisoccasion,especiallyifitgivesusthepleasureofhearingyouarebetteruponthisnews,willbereceivedwiththesame(ifnotgreater)delight,thanweusedtohaveinallyourprettily-penn'depistles.Adieu,mydearClary!Iam,
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Yourlovingsister,andtruefriend,ARABELLAHARLOWE.
LETTERXI
TOHISDEARNIECE,MISSCLARISSAHARLOWEWEDNESDAY,SEPT.6.
Weweregreatlygrieved,mybelovedMissClary,atyourfault;butwearestillmore,ifpossible,tohearyouaresoveryill;andwearesorrythingshavebeencarriedsofar.Weknowyourtalents,mydear,andhowmovinglyyoucouldwrite,wheneveryoupleased;sothatnobodycouldeverdenyyouanything;and,believingyoudependedonyourpen,andlittlethinkingyouweresoill,andthatyoulivedsoregularalife,andaresotrulypenitent,aremusttroubledeveryoneofus,yourbrotherandall,forbeingsosevere.Forgivemypartinit,mydearestClary.Iamyoursecondpapa,youknow.Andyouusedtoloveme.
Ihopeyou'llsoonbeabletocomedown,and,afterawhile,whenyourindulgentparentscanspareyou,thatyouwillcometomeforawholemonth,andrejoicemyheart,asyouusedtodo.Butif,throughillness,
youcannotsosooncomedownaswewish,Iwillgouptoyou;forIlongtoseeyou.Inevermorelongedtoseeyouinmylife;andyouwasalwaysthedarlingofmyheart,youknow.
MybrotherAntonydesireshisheartycommendationstoyou,andjoinswithmeinthetenderestassurance,thatallshallbewell,and,ifpossible,betterthanever;forwenowhavebeensolongwithoutyou,thatweknowthemissofyou,andevenhungerandthirst,asImaysay,toseeyou,andtotakeyouoncemoretoourhearts;whenceindeedyouwasneverbanishedsofarasourconcernfortheunhappystepmadeusthinkandyoubelieveyouwere.Yoursisterandbrotherbothtalkofseeingyouintown;sodoesmydearsister,yourindulgentmother.
Godrestoreyourhealth,ifitbehiswill;else,Iknownotwhatwillbecomeof
Yourtrulylovinguncle,andsecondpapa,JOHNHARLOWE.
LETTERXII
MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.FRIDAYNIGHT,SEPT.8,PASTTEN.
Iwillnowtakeuptheaccountofourproceedingsfrommyletteroflastnight,whichcontainedthedyingwordsofthisincomparablelady.
Assoonaswehadseenthelastsceneclosed(soblessedlyforherself!)weleftthebodytothecareofthegoodwomen,who,accordingtotheordersshehadgiventhemthatverynight,removedherintothatlasthousewhichshehaddisplayedsomuchfortitudeinproviding.
Inthemorning,betweensevenandeighto'clock,accordingto
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appointment,theColonelcametomehere.Hewasverymuchindisposed.Wewenttogether,accompaniedbyMrs.LovickandMrs.Smith,intothedeceased'schamber.Wecouldnothelptakingaviewofthelovelycorpse,andadmiringthecharmingserenityofhernobleaspect.Thewomendeclaredtheyneversaydeathsolovelybefore;andthatshelookedasifinaneasyslumber,thecolourhavingnotquitelefthercheeksandlips.
Iunlockedthedrawer,inwhich(asImentionedinaformer*)shehaddepositedherpapers.ItoldyouinmineofMondaylast,thatshehadthenightbeforesealedup,withthreeblackseals,aparcelinscribed,AssoonasIamcertainlydead,thistobebrokeopenbyMr.Belford.Iaccusedmyselffornothavingdoneitover-night.ButreallyIwasthenincapableofanything.
*SeeVol.VIII.LetterLVII.
Ibrokeitopenaccordingly,andfoundinitnolessthanelevenletters,eachsealedwithherownseal,andblackwax,oneofwhichwasdirectedtome.
Iwillencloseacopyofit.
TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.SUNDAYEVENING,SEPT.3.
SIR,
ItakethislastandsolemnoccasiontorepeattoyoumythanksforallyourkindnesstomeatatimewhenImostneededcountenanceandprotection.
AfewconsiderationsIbegleave,asnowatyourperusalofthis,from
thedead,topressuponyou,withallthewarmthofasincerefriendship.
Bythetimeyouwillseethis,youwillhavehadaninstance,Ihumblytrust,ofthecomfortableimportanceofapacifiedconscience,inthelasthoursofone,who,tothelasthour,willwishyoureternalwelfare.
ThegreatDukeofLuxemburgh,asIhaveheard,onhisdeath-bed,declared,thathewouldthenmuchratherhavehadittoreflectupon,thathehadadministeredacupofcoldwatertoaworthypoorcreatureindistress,thanthathehadwonsomanybattlesashehadtriumphedfor.And,asonewellobserves,Allthesentimentsofworldlygrandeurvanishatthatunavoidablemomentwhichdecidesthedestinyofmen.
Ifthen,Sir,atthetremendoushouritbethuswiththeconquerorsofarmies,andthesubduersofnations,letmeinaveryfewwords(manyarenotneeded,)ask,What,atthatperiod,mustbethereflectionofthose,(ifcapableofreflection,)whohavelivedalifeofsenseandoffence;whosestudyandwhosepridemostingloriouslyhavebeentoseducetheinnocent,andtoruintheweak,theunguarded,andthefriendless;madestillmorefriendlessbytheirbaseseductions?--OMr.Belford,weigh,ponder,andreflectuponit,nowthat,inhealth,andinvigourofmindandbody,thereflectionswillmostavailyou--whatanungrateful,whatanunmanly,whatameanerthanreptileprideisthis!
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Inthenextplace,Sir,letmebegofyou,formysake,whoAM,or,asnowyouwillbestreadit,havebeen,driventothenecessityofapplyingtoyoutobetheexecutorofmywill,thatyouwillbear,accordingtothatgenerositywhichIthinktobeinyou,withallmyfriends,andparticularlywithmybrother,(whoisreallyaworthyyoungman,butperhapsalittletooheadstronginhisfirstresentmentsandconceptionsofthings,)ifanything,byreasonofthistrust,shouldfalloutdisagreeably;andthatyouwillstudytomakepeace,andtoreconcileallparties;andmoreespecially,thatyou,whoseemtohaveagreatinfluenceuponyourstill-moreheadstrongfriend,willinterpose,ifoccasionbe,topreventfarthermischief--forsurely,Sir,thatviolentspiritmaysitdownsatisfiedwiththeevilshehasalreadywrought;and,particularly,withthewrongs,theheinousandignoblewrongs,hehasinmedonetomyfamily,woundedinthetenderestpartofitshonour.
ForyourcompliancewiththisrequestIhavealreadyyourrepeatedpromise.Iclaimtheobservanceofit,therefore,asadebtfromyou:andthoughIhopeIneednotdoubtit,yetwasIwilling,onthissolemn,thislastoccasion,thusearnestlytore-inforceit.
Ihaveanotherrequesttomaketoyou;itisonly,thatyouwillbepleased,byaparticularmessenger,toforwardtheenclosedlettersasdirected.
Andnow,Sir,havingthepresumptiontothinkthatanusefulmemberislosttosocietybymeansoftheunhappystepwhichhasbroughtmylifesosoontoitsperiod,letmehopethatImaybeanhumbleinstrument,inthehandsofProvidence,toreformamanofyourabilities;andthenIshallthinkthatlosswillbemoreabundantlyrepairedtotheworld,whileitwillbe,byGod'sgoodness,mygain;andIshallhavethisfartherhope,thatoncemoreIshallhaveanopportunityinablessedeternitytothankyou,asInowrepeatedlydo,forthegoodyouhavedoneto,andthetroubleyouwillhavetakenfor,Sir,
Yourobligedservant,CLARISSAHARLOWE.
***
Theotherlettersaredirectedtoherfather,tohermother,onetohertwouncles,toherbrother,tohersister,toherauntHervey,tohercousinMorden,toMissHowe,toMrs.Norton,andlastlyonetoyou,inperformanceofherpromise,thatalettershouldbesentyouwhenshearrivedatherfather'shouse!----IwillwithholdthislasttillIcanbeassuredthatyouwillbefittertoreceiveitthanTourvilletellsmeyouareatpresent.
Copiesofallthesearesealedup,andentitled,Copiesofmytenposthumousletters,forJ.Belford,Esq.;andputinamongthebundleofpaperslefttomydirection,whichIhavenotyethadleisuretoopen.
Nowonder,whileable,thatshewasalwayswriting,sincethusonlyoflatecouldsheemploythattime,whichheretofore,fromthelongdaysshemade,causedsomanybeautifulworkstospringfromherfingers.Itismyopinion,thatthereneverwasawomansoyoung,whowrotesomuch,andwithsuchcelerity.Herthoughtskeepingpace,asIhaveseen,withherpen,shehardlyeverstoppedorhesitated;andveryseldomblottedout,
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oraltered.Itwasanaturaltalentshewasmistressof,amongmanyotherextraordinaryones.IgavetheColonelhisletter,andorderedHarryinstantlytogetreadytocarrytheothers.Meantime(retiringintothenextapartment)weopenedthewill.Wewerebothsomuchaffectedinperusingit,thatatonetimetheColonel,breakingoff,gaveittometoreadon;atanotherIgaveitbacktohimtoproceedwith;neitherofusbeingabletoreaditthroughwithoutsuchtokensofsensibilityasaffectedthevoiceofeach.
Mrs.Lovick,Mrs.Smith,andhernurse,werestillmoretouched,whenwereadthosearticlesinwhichtheyarerespectivelyremembered:butIwillavoidmentioningtheparticulars,(exceptinwhatrelatestothethreadofmynarration,)asinpropertimeIshallsendyouacopyofit.
TheColoneltoldme,hewasreadytoaccountwithmeforthemoneyandbillsbroughtupfromHarlowe-place;whichwouldenableme,ashesaid,directlytoexecutethelegacypartsofthewill;andhewouldneedsattheinstantforceintomyhandsapaperrelatingtothatsubject.Iputitintomypocket-book,withoutlookingintoit;tellinghim,thatasIhopedhewoulddoallinhispowertopromotealiteralperformanceofthewill,Imustbeghisadviceandassistanceintheexecutionofit.
Herrequesttobeburiedwithherancestors,madealetterofthefollowingimportnecessary,whichIprevailedupontheColoneltowrite;
beingunwillingmyself(soearlyatleast,)toappearofficiousintheeyeofafamilywhichprobablywishesnotanycommunicationwithme.
TOJAMESHARLOWE,JUN.ESQ.
SIR,
Theletterwhichthebearerofthisbringswithhim,will,Ipresume,makeitunnecessarytoacquaintyouandmycousinswiththedeathofthemostexcellentofwomen.ButIamrequestedbyherexecutor,whowillsoonsendyouacopyofherlastwill,toacquaintherfather(whichI
choosetodobyyourmeans,)thatinitsheearnestlydesirestobelaidinthefamily-vault,atthefeetofhergrandfather.
Ifherfatherwillnotadmitofit,shehasdirectedherbodytobeburiedinthechurch-yardoftheparishwhereshedied.
Ineednottellyou,thataspeedyanswertothisisnecessary.
Herbeatificationcommencedyesterdayafternoon,exactlyatfortyminutesaftersix.
Icanwritenomore,thanthatIam
Your's,&c.WM.MORDEN.
FRIDAYMORN.SEPT.8.
Bythetimethiswaswritten,andbytheColonel'sleavetranscribed,Harrywasbootedandspurred,hishorseatthedoor;andIdeliveredhimtheletterstothefamily,withthosetoMrs.NortonandMissHowe,(eightinall,)togetherwiththeaboveoftheColoneltoMr.James
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Harlowe;andgavehimorderstousetheutmostdispatchwiththem.
TheColonelandIhavebespokemourningforourselvesandservants.
LETTERXIII
MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.SAT.TENO'CLOCK.
PoorMrs.Nortoniscome.Shewassetdownatthedoor;andwouldhavegoneupstairsdirectly.ButMrs.SmithandMrs.Lovickbeingtogetherandintears,andtheformerhintingtoosuddenlytothetruly-venerablewomanthefatalnews,shesunkdownatherfeetinfits;sothattheywereforcedtobreathaveintobringhertoherself,andtoacapacityofexclamation;andthensheranontoMrs.Lovickandme,whoenteredjustassherecovered,inpraiseofthelady,inlamentationsforher,andinvectivesagainstyou;butyetsocircumscribedwereherinvectives,thatIcouldobserveinthemthewomanwelleducated,andinherlamentationsthepassionchristianized,asImaysay.
Shewasimpatienttoseethecorpse.Thewomenwentupwithher.But
theyownedthattheyweretoomuchaffectedthemselvesonthisoccasiontodescribeherextremely-affectingbehaviour.
Withtremblingimpatienceshepushedasidethecoffin-lid.Shebathedthefacewithhertears,andkissedhercheeksandforehead,asifshewereliving.Itwassheindeed!shesaid;hersweetyounglady!herveryself!Norhaddeath,whichchangedallthings,apowertoalterherlovelyfeatures!Sheadmiredtheserenityofheraspect.Shenodoubtwashappy,shesaid,asshehadwrittentohersheshouldbe;buthowmanymiserablecreatureshadsheleftbehindher!--Thegoodwomanlamentingthatsheherselfhadlivedtobeoneofthem.
Itwaswithdifficultytheyprevaileduponhertoquitthecorpse;and
whentheywentintothenextapartment,Ijoinedthem,andacquaintedherwiththekindlegacyherbelovedyoungladyhadlefther;butthisratheraugmentedthandiminishedherconcern.Sheought,shesaid,tohaveattendedherinperson.Whatwastheworldtoher,wringingherhands,nowthechildofherbosom,andofherheart,wasnomore?Herprincipalconsolation,however,was,thatsheshouldnotlongsurviveher.Shehoped,shesaid,thatshedidnotsin,inwishingshemightnot.
Itwaseasytoobserve,bythesimilitudeofsentimentsshowninthisandotherparticulars,thatthedivineladyowedtothisexcellentwomanmanyofhergoodnotions.
Ithoughtitwoulddivertthepoorgentlewoman,andnotaltogether
unsuitably,ifIweretoputheruponfurnishingmourningforherself;asitwouldrouseher,byaseasonableandnecessaryemployment,fromthatdismallethargyofgrief,whichgenerallysucceedstotheviolentanguishwithwhichagentlenatureisaccustomedtobetornuponthefirstcommunicationoftheunexpectedlossofadearfriend.Igaveherthereforethethirtyguineasbequeathedtoherandtohersonformourning;theonlymourningwhichthetestatrixhasmentioned;anddesiredhertolosenotimeinpreparingherown,asIdoubtednot,thatshewouldaccompanythecorpse,ifitwerepermittedtobecarrieddown.
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TheColonelproposestoattendthehearse,ifhiskindredgivehimnotfreshcauseofdispleasure;andwilltakewithhimacopyofthewill.Andbeingintenttogivethefamilysomefavourableimpressionsofme,hedesiredmetopermithimtotakewithhimthecopyoftheposthumouslettertome;whichIreadilygranted.Heissokindastopromisemeaminuteaccountofallthatshouldpassonthemelancholyoccasion.Andwehavebegunafriendshipandsettledacorrespondence,whichbutoneincidentcanpossiblyhappentointerrupttotheendofourlives.AndthatIhopewillnothappen.
Butwhatmustbethegrief,theremorse,thatwillseizeupontheheartsofthishitherto-inexorablefamily,onthereceivingoftheposthumousletters,andthatoftheColonelapprizingthemofwhathashappened?Ihavegivenrequisiteorderstoanundertaker,onthesuppositionthatthebodywillbepermittedtobecarrieddown;andthewomenintendtofillthecoffinwitharomaticherbs.
TheColonelhasobligedmetotakethebillsanddraughtswhichhebroughtupwithhim,fortheconsiderablesumswhichaccruedsincethegrandfather'sdeathfromthelady'sestate.
IcouldhaveshowntoMrs.Nortonthecopiesofthetwoletterswhichshemissedbycomingup.Buthergriefwantsnottheheighteningswhichthereadingofthemwouldhavegivenher.
***
Ihavebeendippingintothecopiesoftheposthumousletterstothefamily,whichHarryhascarrieddown.WellmayIcallthisladydivine.Theyareallcalculatedtogivecomfortratherthanreproach,thoughtheircrueltytohermeritednothingbutreproach.ButwereIinanyoftheirplaces,howmuchratherhadI,thatshehadquittedscoreswithmebythemostsevererecrimination,thanthatsheshouldthusnoblytriumphovermebyagenerositythathasnoexample?Iwillenclosesomeofthem,whichIdesireyoutoreturnassoonasyoucan.
LETTERXIV
TOTHEEVER-HONOUREDJAS.HARLOWE,SEN.ESQ.
MOSTDEARSIR,
Withexultingconfidencenowdoesyouremboldeneddaughtercomeintoyourawfulpresencebytheselines,whodarednot,butuponthisoccasion,tolookuptoyouwithhopesoffavourandforgiveness;since,whenthis
comestoyourhands,itwillbeoutofherpowerevertooffendyoumore.
Andnowletmeblessyou,myhonouredPapa,andblessyou,asIwrite,uponmyknees,forallthebenefitsIhavereceivedfromyourindulgence:foryourfondlovetomeinthedaysofmyprattlinginnocence:forthevirtuouseducationyougaveme:andfor,thecrownofall,thehappyend,which,throughdivinegrace,bymeansofthatvirtuouseducation,Ihope,bythetimeyouwillreceivethis,Ishallhavemade.Andletmebegofyou,dear,venerableSir,toblotoutfromyourremembrance,ifpossible,thelastunhappyeightmonths;andthenIshallhopetoberemembered
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withadvantageforthepleasureyouhadthegoodnesstotakeinyourClarissa.
Stillonherknees,letyourpoorpenitentimploreyourforgivenessofallherfaultsandfollies;moreespeciallyofthatfatalerrorwhichthrewheroutofyourprotection.
Whenyouknow,Sir,thatIhaveneverbeenfaultyinmywill;thateversincemycalamitybecameirretrievable,Ihavebeeninastateofpreparation;thatIhavethestrongestassurancethattheAlmightyhasacceptedmyunfeignedrepentance;andthatbythistimeyouwill(asIhumblypresumetohope,)havebeenthemeansofaddingonetothenumberoftheblessed;youwillhavereasonforjoyratherthansorrow.Since,hadIescapedthesnaresbywhichIwasentangled,ImighthavewantedthoseexerciseswhichIlookuponnowassomanymerciesdispensedtoweanmebetimesfromaworldthatpresenteditselftomewithprospectstooalluring;andinthatcase(tooeasilysatisfiedwiththeworldlyfelicity)Imightnothaveattainedtothatblessedness,inwhichnow,onyourreadingofthis,Ihumblypresume,(throughthedivinegoodness,)Iamrejoicing.
ThattheAlmighty,inhisowngoodtime,willbringyou,Sir,andmyever-honouredmother,afteraseriesofearthlyfelicities,ofwhichmyunhappyfaultbetheonlyinterruption,(andverygrievousIknowthat
musthavebeen,)torejoiceinthesameblessedstate,istherepeatedprayerof,Sir,
Yournowhappydaughter,CLARISSAHARLOWE.
LETTERXV
TOTHEEVER-HONOUREDMRS.HARLOWE
HONOUREDMADAM,
ThelasttimeIhadtheboldnesstowritetoyou,itwaswithalltheconsciousnessofaself-convictedcriminal,supplicatingheroffendedjudgeformercyandpardon.Inow,bytheselines,approachyouwithmoreassurance;butneverthelesswiththehighestdegreeofreverence,gratitude,andduty.Thereasonofmyassurance,mylettertomypapawillgive;andasIhumblyonmykneesimploredhispardon,sonow,inthesamedutifulmanner,doIsupplicateyour's,forthegriefandtroubleIhavegivenyou.
Everyveinofmyhearthasbledforanunhappyrashness;which,(althoughinvoluntaryastotheact,)fromthemomentitwascommitted,carried
withititsownpunishment;andwasaccompaniedwithatrueandsincerepenitence.
God,whohasbeenawitnessofmydistresses,knowsthat,greatastheyhavebeen,thegreatestofallwasthedistressthatIknewImusthavegiventoyou,Madam,andtomyfather,byastepthathadsoveryuglyanappearanceinyoureyesandhis;andindeedintheeyesofallmyfamily;astepsounworthyofyourdaughter,andoftheeducationyouhadgivenher.
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ButHE,Ipresumetohope,hasforgivenme;and,attheinstantthiswillreachyourhands,Ihumblytrust,Ishallberejoicingintheblessedfruitsofhisforgiveness.Andbethisyourcomfort,myever-honouredMamma,thattheprincipalendofyourpiouscareformeisattained,thoughnotinthewaysomuchhopedfor.
Maythegriefwhichmyfatalerrorhasgiventoyouboth,betheonlygriefthatshalleverannoyyouinthisworld!--Mayyou,Madam,longlivetosweetenthecares,andheightenthecomforts,ofmypapa!--Maymysister'scontinued,and,ifpossible,augmentedduty,happilymakeuptoyouthelossyouhavesustainedinme!Andwhenevermybrotherandshechangetheirsinglestate,mayitbewithsuchsatisfactiontoyoubothasmaymakeyouforgetmyoffence;andremembermeonlyinthosedaysinwhichyoutookpleasureinme!And,atlast,mayahappymeetingwithyourforgivenpenitent,intheeternalmansions,augmenttheblissofher,who,purifiedbysufferingsalready,whenthissalutesyourhands,presumessheshallbe
ThehappyandforeverhappyCLARISSAHARLOWE.
LETTERXVI
TOJAMESHARLOWE,JUN.ESQ.
SIR,
Therewasbutonetime,butoneoccasion,aftertherashstepIwasprecipitatedupon,thatIwouldhopetobeexcusedlookinguptoyouinthecharacterofabrotherandfriend.AndNOWisthattime,andTHIStheoccasion.NOW,atreadingthis,willyoupityyourlateunhappysister!NOWwillyouforgiveherfaults,bothsupposedandreal!AndNOWwillyouaffordtohermemorythatkindconcernwhichyourefusedtoherbefore!
Iwrite,myBrother,inthefirstplace,tobegyourpardonfortheoffencemyunhappystepgavetoyou,andtotherestofafamilysodeartome.
Virginpurityshouldnotsobehaveastobesuspected,yet,whenyoucometoknowallmystory,youwillfindfartherroomforpity,ifnotmorethanpity,foryourlateunhappysister!
Othatpassionhadnotbeendeaf!Thatmisconceptionwouldhavegivenwaytoinquiry!Thatyourrigorousheart,ifitcouldnotitselfbesoftened(moderatingthepoweryouhadobtainedovereveryone)hadpermittedotherheartsmoreindulgentlytoexpand!
ButIwritenottogivepain.Ihadratheryoushouldthinkmefaultystill,thantaketoyourselftheconsequencethatwillfollowfromacquittingme.
AbandoningthereforeasubjectwhichIhadnotintendedtotouchupon,(forIhope,atthewritingofthis,Iamabovethespiritofrecrimination,)letmetellyou,Sir,thatmynextmotiveforwritingtoyouinthislastandmostsolemnmanneris,tobegofyoutoforegoanyactiveresentments(whichmayendangeralifesoprecioustoallyour
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friends)againstthemantowhoseelaboratebasenessIowemyworldlyruin.
For,oughtaninnocentmantorunanequalrisquewithaguiltyone?--Amorethanequalrisque,astheguiltyonehasbeenlonginuredtoactsofviolence,andisskilledintheartsofoffence?
YouwouldnotarrogatetoyourselfGod'sprovince,whohassaid,Vengeanceismine,andIwillrepayit.Ifyouwould,Itremblefortheconsequence:Forwillitnotbesuitabletothedivinejusticetopunishthepresumptuousinnocent(asyouwouldbeinthiscase)intheveryerror,andthatbythehandoftheself-defendingguilty--reservinghimforafuturedayofvengeanceforhisaccumulatedcrimes?
Leavethenthepoorwretchtothedivinejustice.Letyoursister'sfaultdiewithher.Atleast,letitnotberevivedinblood.Lifeisashortstagewherelongest.Alittletimehence,thenow-greenheadwillbegrey,ifitlivesthislittletime:andifHeavenwillaffordhimtimeforrepentance,whyshouldnotyou?
Thenthink,myBrother,whatwillbetheconsequencetoyourdearparents,iftheguiltywretch,whohasoccasionedtothemthelossofadaughter,shouldlikewisedeprivethemoftheirbesthope,andonlyson,moreworthinthefamilyaccountthanseveraldaughters?
Wouldyouadd,myBrother,tothosedistresseswhichyouholdyoursistersoinexcusableforhaving(althoughfrominvoluntaryandundersignedcauses)given?
Seeknotthen,Ibeseechyou,toextendtheevilconsequencesofyoursister'serror.Hisconscience,whenitshallpleaseGodtotouchit,willbesharperthanyoursword.
Ihavestillanothermotiveforwritingtoyouinthissolemnmanner:itis,toentreatyoutowatchoveryourpassions.TheprincipalfaultIknewyoutobeguiltyofis,theviolenceofyourtemperwhenyouthinkyourselfintheright;whichyouwouldoftenerbe,butforthatvery
violence.
Youhaveseveraltimesbroughtyourlifeintodangerbyit.
Isnotthemanguiltyofahighdegreeofinjustice,whoismoreapttogivecontradiction,thanabletobearit?Howoften,withyou,hasimpetuositybroughtonabasement?Aconsequencetoonatural.
Letmethencautionyou,dearSir,againstawarmthoftemper,animpetuositywhenmoved,andyousoreadytobemoved,thatmayhurryyouintounforeseendifficulties;andwhichitisinsomemeasureasinnottoendeavourtorestrain.Godenableyoutodoitforthesakeofyourownpeaceandsafety,aswellpresentasfuture!andforthesakeofyour
familyandfriends,whoallseeyourfault,butaretenderofspeakingtoyouofit!
Asforme,myBrother,mypunishmenthasbeenseasonable.Godgavemegracetomakearightuseofmysufferings.Iearlyrepented.IneverlovedthemanhalfsomuchasIhatedhisactions,whenIsawwhathewascapableof.Igaveupmywholehearttoabetterhope.Godblessedmypenitenceandmyrelianceuponhim.AndnowIpresumetosay,IAMHAPPY.
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MayHeavepreserveyouinsafety,health,andhonour,andlongcontinueyourlifeforacomfortandstaytoyourhonouredparents!Andmayyou,inthatchangeofyoursinglestate,meetwithawifeasagreeabletoeveryoneelseastoyourself,andbehappyinahopefulrace,andnothaveoneClarissaamongthem,toembitteryourcomfortswhensheshouldgiveyoumostcomfort!ButmaymyexamplebeofusetowarnthedearcreatureswhomonceIhopedtolivetoseeandtocherish,oftheevilswithwhichthedeceitfulworldabounds!aretheprayersof
Youraffectionatesister,CL.HARLOWE.
LETTERXVII
TOMISSHARLOWE
Nowmayyou,mydearArabella,unrestrainedbytheseverityofyourvirtue,letfallapityingtearonthepastfaultsandsufferingsofyourlateunhappysister;since,now,shecanneveroffendyoumore.TheDivinemercy,whichfirstinspiredherwithrepentance(anearlyrepentanceitwas;sinceitprecededhersufferings)foranerrorwhich
sheoffersnottoextenuate,althoughperhapsitwerecapableofsomeextenuation,hasnow,astheinstantthatyouarereadingthis,asIhumblyhope,blessedherwiththefruitsofit.
Thusalready,evenwhileshewrites,inimaginationpurifiedandexalted,shethemorefearlesslywritestohersister;andnowisassuredofpardonforallthoselittleoccasionsofdispleasurewhichherforwarderyouthmightgiveyou;andforthedisgracewhichherfallhasfasteneduponyou,anduponherfamily.
Mayyou,mySister,continuetoblessthosedearandhonouredrelations,whoseindulgencesowelldeservesyourutmostgratitude,withthosecheerfulinstancesofdutyandobediencewhichhavehithertobeenso
acceptabletothem,andpraise-worthyinyou!Andmayyou,whenasuitableproposalshalloffer,fillupmoreworthilythatchasm,whichthelosstheyhavesustainedinmehasmadeinthefamily!
Thus,myArabella!myonlysister!andformanyhappyyears,myfriend!mostferventlypraysthatsister,whoseaffectionforyou,noacts,nounkindness,nomisconstructionofherconduct,couldcancel!AndwhoNOW,madeperfect(asshehopes)throughsufferings,stylesherself,
ThehappyCLARISSAHARLOWE.
LETTERXVIII
TOJOHNANDANTONYHARLOWE,ESQRS.
HONOUREDSIRS,
Whentheselinesreachyourhands,yourlateunhappyniecewillhaveknowntheendofallhertroubles;and,asshehumblyhopes,willbe
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rejoicinginthemerciesofagraciousGod,whohasdeclared,thathewillforgivethetrulypenitentofheart.
Iwrite,therefore,mydearuncles,andtoyoubothinoneletter(sinceyourfraternallovehasmadeyoubothbutasoneperson)togiveyoucomfort,andnotdistress;for,howeversharpmyafflictionshavebeen,theyhavebeenbutofshortduration;andIambetimes(happilyasIhope)arrivedattheendofapainfuljourney.
AtthesametimeIwritetothankyoubothforallyourkindindulgencetome,andtobegyourforgivenessofmylast,myonlygreatfaulttoyouandtomyfamily.
ThewaysofProvidenceareunsearchable.Variousarethemeansmadeuseofbyit,tobringpoorsinnerstoasenseoftheirduty.Somearedrawnbylove,othersaredrivenbyterrors,totheirdivinerefuge.Ihadforeighteenyearsoutofnineteen,rejoicedinthefavourandaffectionofeveryone.Notroublecameneartomyheart,Iseemedtobeoneofthosedesignedtobedrawnbythesilkencordsoflove.--But,perhaps,Iwastooapttovaluemyselfupontheloveandfavourofeveryone:themeritofthegoodIdelightedtodo,andoftheinclinationswhichweregivenme,andwhichIcouldnothelphaving,Iwas,perhaps,tooreadytoattributetomyself;andnow,beingledtoaccountforthecauseofmytemporarycalamities,findIhadasecretpridetobepunishedfor,which
Ihadnotfathomed:anditwasnecessary,perhaps,thatsomesoreandterriblemisfortunesshouldbefallme,inordertomortifythatmypride,andthatmyvanity.
Temptationswereaccordinglysent.Ishrunkinthedayoftrial.Mydiscretion,whichhadbeensocriedup,wasfoundwantingwhenitcametobeweighedinanequalbalance.Iwasbetrayed,fell,andbecametheby-wordofmycompanions,andadisgracetomyfamily,whichhadprideditselfinmeperhapstoomuch.Butasmyfaultwasnotthatofaculpablewill,whenmypridewassufficientlymortified,Iwasnotsuffered(althoughsurroundedbydangers,andentangledinsnares)tobetotallylost:but,purifiedbysufferings,IwasfittedforthechangeIhaveNOW,atthetimeyouwillreceivethis,sonewly,and,asIhumbly
hope,sohappilyexperienced.
Rejoicewithme,then,dearSirs,thatIhaveweatheredsogreatastorm.Norletitbematterofconcern,thatIamcutoffinthebloomofyouth.'Thereisnoinquisitioninthegrave,'saysthewiseman,'whetherwelivedtenorahundredyears;andthedayofdeathisbetterthanthedayofourbirth.'
Oncemore,dearSirs,acceptmygratefulthanksforallyourgoodnesstome,frommyearlychildhoodtotheday,theunhappyday,ofmyerror!Forgivethaterror!--AndGodgiveusahappymeetinginablessedeternity;prays
Yourmostdutifulandobligedkinswoman,CLARISSAHARLOWE.
Mr.BelfordgivestheLady'sposthumousletterstoMrs.Hervey,MissHowe,andMrs.Norton,atlengthlikewise:but,althougheverylettervariesinstyleaswellasmatterfromtheothers;yet,astheyarewrittenonthesamesubject,andareprettylong,itisthoughtpropertoabstractthem.
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ThattoherauntHerveyiswritteninthesamepiousandgenerousstrainwiththosepreceding,seekingtogivecomfortratherthandistress.'TheAlmighty,Ihope,'saysshe,'hasreceivedandblessedmypenitence,andIamhappy.CouldIhavebeenmorethansoattheendofwhatiscalledahappylifeoftwenty,orthirty,orfortyyearstocome?Andwhataretwenty,orthirty,orfortyyearstolookbackupon?Inhalfofanyoftheseperiods,whatfriendsmightnotIhavemournedfor?whattemptationsfromworldlyprosperitymightInothaveencounteredwith?Andinsuchacase,immersedinearthlypleasures,howlittlelikelihood,that,inmylaststage,IshouldhavebeenblessedwithsuchapreparationandresignationasIhavenowbeenblessedwith?'
Sheproceedsasfollows:'Thusmuch,Madam,ofcomforttoyouandtomyselffromthisdispensation.Astomydearparents,Ihopetheywillconsolethemselvesthattheyhavestillmanyblessingsleft,whichoughttobalancethetroublesmyerrorhasgiventhem:that,unhappyasIhavebeentobetheinterrupteroftheirfelicities,theynever,tillthismyfault,knowanyheavyevil:thatafflictionspatientlybornemaybeturnedintoblessings:thatuninterruptedhappinessisnottobeexpectedinthislife:that,afterall,theyhavenot,asIhumblypresumetohope,theprobabilityoftheeverlastingperditionoftheirchildtodeplore:andthat,inshort,whenmystorycomestobefullyknown,theywillhavethecomforttofindthatmysufferingsredoundmoretomyhonourthantomydisgrace.
'Theseconsiderationswill,Ihope,maketheirtemporarylossofbutonechildoutofthree(unhappilycircumstancestooasshewas)matterofgreaterconsolationthanaffliction.Andtherather,aswemayhopeforahappymeetingoncemore,nevertobeseparatedeitherbytimeoroffences.'
SheconcludesthisletterwithanaddresstohercousinDollyHervey,whomshecallsheramiablecousin;andthankfullyremembersforthepartshetookinherafflictions.--'OmydearCousin,letyourworthyheartbeguardedagainstthosedelusionswhichhavebeenfataltomyworldlyhappiness!--Thatpity,whichyoubestoweduponme,demonstratesagentlenessofnature,whichmaypossiblysubjectyoutomisfortunes,if
youreyebepermittedtomisleadyourjudgment.--Butastrictobservanceofyourfilialduty,mydearestCousin,andthepreceptsofsoprudentamotherasyouhavethehappinesstohave(enforcedbysosadanexampleinyourownfamilyasIhaveset)will,Imakenodoubt,withtheDivineassistance,beyourguardandsecurity.'
TheposthumouslettertoMissHoweisextremelytenderandaffectionate.Shepatheticallycallsuponher'torejoicethatallherClarissa'stroublesarenowatanend;thatthestateoftemptationandtrial,ofdoubtanduncertainty,isnowoverwithher;andthatshehashappilyescapedthesnaresthatwerelaidforhersoul;therathertorejoice,asthathermisfortuneswereofsuchanature,thatitwasimpossible
shecouldbetolerablyhappyinthislife.'
She'thankfullyacknowledgesthefavoursshehadreceivedfromMrs.HoweandMr.Hickman;andexpressesherconcernforthetroubleshehasoccasionedtotheformer,aswellastoher;andpraysthatalltheearthlyblessingstheyusedtowishtoeachother,maysinglydevolveuponher.'
Shebeseechesher,'thatshewillnotsuspendthedaywhichshallsupplytoherselfthefriendshewillhavelostinher,andgivetoherselfa
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stillneareranddearerrelation.'
Shetellsher,'Thatherchoice(achoicemadewiththeapprobationofallherfriends)hasfallenuponasincere,anhonest,avirtuous,and,whatismorethanall,apiousman;amanwho,althoughheadmiresherperson,isstillmoreinlovewiththegracesofhermind.Andasthosegracesareimprovablewitheveryaddedyearoflife,whichwillimpairthetransitoryonesofperson,whatafirmbasis,infersshe,hasMr.Hickmanchosentobuildhisloveupon!'
Sheprays,'ThatGodwillblessthemtogether;andthattheremembranceofher,andofwhatshehassuffered,maynotinterrupttheirmutualhappiness;shedesiresthemtothinkofnothingbutwhatshenowis;andthatatimewillcomewhentheyshallmeetagain,nevertobedivided.
'TotheDivineprotection,meantime,shecommitsher;andchargesher,bythelovethathasalwayssubsistedbetweenthem,thatshewillnotmourntooheavilyforher;andagaincallsuponher,afteragentletear,whichshewillallowhertoletfallinmemoryoftheiruninterruptedfriendship,torejoicethatsheissoearlyreleased;andthatsheispurifiedbyhersufferings,andismade,assheassuredlytrusts,byGod'sgoodness,eternallyhappy.'
TheposthumousletterstoMr.LOVELACEandMr.MORDENwillbeinsertedhereafter:aswillalsothesubstanceofthatwrittentoMrs.Norton.
LETTERXIX
MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.SAT.AFTERNOON,SEPT.9.
Iunderstand,thatthoubreathestnothingbutrevengeagainstme,for
treatingtheewithsomuchfreedom;andagainstthecursedwomanandherinfernalcrew.Iamnotatallconcernedforthymenacesagainstmyself.Itismydesigntomaketheefeel.Itgivesmepleasuretofindmyintentionanswered.AndIcongratulatethee,thatthouhastnotlostthatsense.
Astothecursedcrew,welldotheydeservethefirehere,thatthouthreatenestthemwith,andthefirehereafter,thatseemstoawaitthem.ButIhavethismomentreceivednewswhichwill,inalllikelihood,savetheetheguiltofpunishingtheoldwretchforhershareofwickednessasthyagent.Butifthathappenstoherwhichislikelytohappen,wiltthounottrembleforwhatmaybefaltheprincipal?
Nottokeeptheelongerinsuspense;lastnight,itseems,theinfamouswomangotsoheartilyintoxicatedwithherbelovedliquor,arrackpunch,attheexpenseofColonelSalter,that,mistakingherway,shefelldownapairofstairs,andbrokeherleg:andnow,afteradreadfulnight,sheliesfoaming,raving,roaring,inaburningfever,thatwantsnotanyotherfiretoscorchherintoafeelingmoreexquisiteanddurablethananythyvengeancecouldgiveher.
Thewretchhasrequestedmetocometoher;andlestIshouldrefuseacommonmessenger,senthervileassociate,SallyMartin;whonotfinding
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meatSoho,camehither;anotherpartofherbusinessbeingtoprocurethedivinelady'spardonfortheoldcreature'swickednesstoher.
Thisdevilincarnate,Sally,declaresthatsheneverwassoshockedinherlife,aswhenItoldhertheladywasdead.
Shetookouthersaltstokeepfromfainting;andwhenalittlerecoveredsheaccusedherselfforherpartoftheinjuriestheladyhadsustained;asshesaidPollyHortonwoulddoforher's;andsheddingtears,declared,thattheworldneverproducedsuchanotherwoman.Shecalledhertheornamentandgloryofhersex;acknowledged,thatherruinwasowingmoretotheirinstigations,thaneven(savageasthouart)tothyownvileness;sincethouwertinclinedtohavedoneherjusticemorethanonce,hadtheynotkeptupthyprofligatespirittoitsheight.
Thiswretchwouldfainhavebeenadmittedtoasightofthecorpse;butIrefusedtherequestwithexecrations.
Shecouldforgiveherself,shesaid,foreverythingbutherinsultsupontheadmirableladyatRowland's,sincealltherestwasbutinpursuitofalivelihood,towhichshehadbeenreduced,assheboasted,frombetterexpectations,andwhichhundredfollowaswellasshe.Ididnotaskher,bywhomreduced?
Atgoingaway,shetoldme,thattheoldmonster'sbruisesareofmoredangerousconsequencethanthefracture;thatamortificationisapprehended,andthatthevilewretchhassomuchcompunctionofheart,onrecollectinghertreatmentofMissHarlowe,andissomuchsetuponprocuringherforgiveness,thatsheissurethenewssheistocarryherwillhastenherend.
AllthesethingsIleaveuponthyreflection.
LETTERXX
MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.SAT.NIGHT.
Yourservantgivesmeadreadfulaccountofyourravingunmanageableness.Iwondernotatit.Butasnothingviolentislasting,Idaresaythatyourhabitualgaietyofheartwillquicklygetthebetterofyourphrensy;andtheratherdoIjudgeso,asyourfitsareoftheravingkind,(suitabletoyournaturalimpetuosity,)andnotofthatmelancholyspecieswhichseizesslowersouls.
ForthisreasonIwillproceedinwritingtoyou,thatmynarrativemaynotbebrokenbyyourdiscomposure;andthatthecontentsofitmayfind
you,andhelpyoutoreflection,whenyoushallberestored.
Harryisreturnedfromcarryingtheposthumousletterstothefamily,andtoMissHowe;andthatoftheColonel,whichacquaintsJamesHarlowewithhissister'sdeath,andwithherdesiretobeinterrednearhergrandfather.
Harrywasnotadmittedintothepresenceofanyofthefamily.Theywereallassembledtogether,itseems,atHarlowe-place,onoccasionoftheColonel'sletter,whichinformedthemofthelady'sdangerousway;*and
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werecomfortingthemselves,asHarrywastold,withhopesthatMr.Mordenhadmadetheworstofherstate,inordertoquickentheirresolutions.
*SeethebeginningofLetterII.
ItiseasytojudgewhatmustbetheirgriefandsurpriseonreceivingthefatalnewswhichthelettersHarrysentintothemcommunicated.
Hestaidtherelongenoughtofindthewholehouseinconfusion;theservantsrunningdifferentways;lamentingandwringingtheirhandsastheyran;thefemaleservantsparticularly;asifsomebody(poorMrs.Harlowe,nodoubt;andperhapsMrs.Herveytoo)wereinfits.
Everyonewasinsuchdisorder,thathecouldgetnocommands,norobtainanynoticeofhimself.Theservantsseemedmoreinclinedtoexecratethanwelcomehim--Omaster!--Oyoungman!criedthreeorfourtogether,whatdismaltidingshaveyoubrought?--Theyhelpedhim,attheveryfirstword,tohishorse;which,withgreatcivility,theyhadputuponhisarrival;andhewenttoaninn,andpursuedonfoothiswaytoMrs.Norton's;andfindinghercometotown,lefttheletterhecarrieddonforherwithherson,(afineyouth,)who,whenheheardthefatalnews,burstoutintoafloodoftears--firstlamentingthelady'sdeath,and
thencryingout,What--whatwouldbecomeofhispoormother!--Howwouldshesupportherself,whensheshouldfind,onherarrivalintown,thatthedearlady,whowassodeservedlythedarlingofherheart,wasnomore!
HeproceededtoMissHowe'swiththeletterforher.Thatlady,hewastold,hadjustgivenordersforayoungman,atenant'sson,toposttoLondon,andbringhernewsofherdearfriend'scondition,andwhethersheshouldherselfbeencouraged,byanaccountofherbeingstillalive,tomakeheravisit;everythingbeingorderedtobeinreadinessforhergoinguponhisreturnwiththenewsshewishedandprayedforwiththeutmostimpatience.AndHarrywasjustintimetopreventtheman'ssettingout.
HehadtheprecautiontodesiretospeakwithMissHowe'swomanormaid,andcommunicatedtoherthefataltidings,thatshemightbreakthemtoheryounglady.Themaidherselfwassoaffected,thatheroldlady(who,Harrysaid,seemedtobeeverywhereatonce)cametoseewhatailedher!andwasherselfsostruckwiththecommunication,thatshewasforcedtositdowninachair.--Othesweetcreature!saidshe,andisitcometothis?--OmypoorNancy!--HowshallIbeabletobreakthemattertomyNancy?
Mr.Hickmanwasinthehouse.Hehastenedintocomforttheoldlady--buthecouldnotrestrainhisowntears.Hefeared,hesaid,whenhewaslastintown,thatthissadeventwouldsoonhappen;butlittlethought
itwouldbesoverysoon!--Butsheishappy,Iamsure,saidthegoodgentleman.
Mrs.Howe,whenalittlerecovered,wentup,inordertobreakthenewstoherdaughter.Shetooktheletter,andhersaltsinherhand.Andtheyhadoccasionforthelatter.Forthehousekeepersooncamehurryingdownintothekitchen,herfaceoverspreadwithtears--heryoungmistresshadfaintedaway,shesaid--nordidshewonderatit--neverdidtherelivealadymoredeservingofgeneraladmirationandlamentation,thanMissClarissaHarlowe!andneverwasthereastrongerfriendship
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dissolvedbydeaththanbetweenheryoungladyandher.
Shehurried,withalightedwaxcandle,andwithfeathers,toburnunderthenoseofheryoungmistress;whichshowedthatshecontinuedinfits.
Mr.Hickman,afterwards,withhisusualhumanity,directedthatHarryshouldbetakencareofallnight;itbeingthenthecloseofday.Heaskedhimaftermyhealth.Heexpressedhimselfexcessivelyafflicted,aswellforthedeathofthemostexcellentofwomen,asforthejustgriefoftheladywhomhesopassionatelyloves.ButhecalledthedepartedladyanAngelofLight.Wedreaded,saidhe,(tellyourmaster,)toreadthelettersent--butweneedednot--'tisablessedletter!writtenbyablessedhand!--Buttheconsolationsheaimstogive,willforthepresentheightenthesenseweallshallhaveofthelossofsoexcellentacreature!TellMr.Belford,thatIthankGodIamnotthemanwhohadtheunmeritedhonourtocallhimselfherbrother.
Iknowhowterriblythisgreatcatastrophe(asImaycallit,sincesomanypersonsareinterestedinit)affectsthee.IshouldhavebeengladtohavehadparticularsofthedistresswhichthefirstcommunicationofitmusthavegiventotheHarlowes.Yetwhobutmustpitytheunhappymother?
TheanswerwhichJamesHarlowereturnedtoColonelMorden'sletterof
notificationofhissister'sdeath,andtoherrequestastoherinterment,willgiveafaintideaofwhattheirconcernmustbe.Herefollowsacopyofit:
TOWILLIAMMORDEN,ESQ.SATURDAY,SEPT.9.
DEARCOUSIN,
Icannotfindwordstoexpresswhatweallsufferonthemostmournfulnewsthateverwascommunicatedtous.
MysisterArabella(but,alas!Ihavenownoothersister)waspreparingtofollowMrs.Nortonup,andIhadresolvedtoescorther,andtohavelookedinuponthedearcreature.
Godbemercifultousall!Towhatpurposedidthedoctorwrite,ifshewassonearherend?--Why,aseverybodysays,didhenotsendsooner?--Or,Whyatall?
Themostadmirableyoungcreaturethateverswerved!Notonefriendtobewithher!--Alas!Sir,Ifearmymotherwillnevergetoverthisshock.--Shehasbeeninhourlyfitseversinceshereceivedthefatalnews.Mypoorfatherhasthegoutthrownintohisstomach;andHeavenknows--O
Cousin!--OSir!--Imeantnothingbutthehonourofthefamily;yethaveIalltheweightthrownuponme--[OthiscursedLovelace!--mayIperishifheescapethedeservedvengeance!]*
*Thewordsthusenclosed[]wereomittedinthetranscripttoMr.Lovelace.
Wehadbeguntopleaseourselvesthatweshouldsoonseeherhere--Good
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Heaven!thathernextentranceintothishouse,aftersheabandonedussoprecipitately,shouldbeinacoffin.
Wecanhavenothingtodowithherexecutor,(anotherstrangestepofthedearcreature's!)--Hecannotexpectwewill--nor,ifhebeagentleman,willhethinkofacting.Doyou,therefore,bepleased,Sir,toorderanundertakertoconveythebodydowntous.Mymothersayssheshallbeforeverunhappy,ifshemaynotindeathseethedearcreaturewhomshecouldnotseeinlife.Besokind,therefore,astodirectthelidtobeonlyhalf-screweddown--that(ifmypoormothercannotbeprevailedupontodispensewithsoshockingaspectacle)shemaybeobliged--shewasthedarlingofherheart!
Ifweknowherwellinrelationtothefuneral,itshallbepunctuallycompliedwith;asshalleverythinginitthatisfitorreasonabletobeperformed;andthiswithouttheinterventionofstrangers.
Willyounot,dearSir,favouruswithyourpresenceatthismelancholytime?Praydo--andpityandexcuse,withthegenerositywhichisnaturaltothebraveandthewise,whatpassedatourlastmeeting.Everyone'srespectsattendyou.AndIam,Sir,
Yourinexpressiblyafflictedcousinandservant,JA.HARLOWE,JUN.
Everythingthat'sfitorreasonabletobeperformed![repeatedItotheColonelfromtheaboveletteronhisreadingittome;]thatiseverythingwhichshehasdirected,thatcanbeperformed.Ihope,Colonel,thatIshallhavenocontentionwiththem.Iwishnomorefortheiracquaintancethantheydoformine.Butyou,Sir,mustbethemediatorbetweenthemandme;forIshallinsistuponaliteralperformanceineveryarticle.
TheColonelwassokindastodeclarethathewouldsupportmeinmyresolution.
LETTERXXI
MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.SUNDAYMORN.EIGHTO'CLOCK,SEPT.10.
IstaidatSmith'stillIsawthelastofallthatismortalofthedivinelady.
Asshehasdirectedringsbyherwilltoseveralpersons,withherhairtobesetincrystal,theafflictedMrs.Nortoncutoff,beforethe
coffinwasclosedfourcharmingringlets;oneofwhichtheColoneltookforalocket,which,hesays,hewillcausetobemade,andwearnexthisheartinmemoryofhisbelovedcousin.
Betweenfourandfiveinthemorning,thecorpsewasputintothehearse;thecoffinbeforebeingfilled,asintended,withflowersandaromaticherbs,andpropercaretakentopreventthecorpsesuffering(totheeye)fromthejoltingofthehearse.
PoorMrs.Nortonisextremelyill.IgaveparticulardirectionstoMrs.
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Smith'smaid(whomIhaveorderedtoattendthegoodwomaninamourningchariot)totakecareofher.TheColonel,whorideswithhisservantswithinviewofthehearse,saysthathewillseemyordersinrelationtoherenforced.
Whenthehearsemovedoff,andwasoutofsight,Ilockedupthelady'schamber,intowhichallthathadbelongedtoherwasremoved.
IexpecttohearfromtheColonelassoonasheisgotdown,byaservantofhisown.
LETTERXXII
MR.MOWBRAY,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.UXBRIDGE,SUNDAYMORN.NINEO'CLOCK.
DEARJACK,
IsendyouenclosedaletterfromMr.Lovelace;which,thoughwritteninthecursedAlgebra,Iknowtobesuchaoneaswillshowwhataqueerwayheisin;forhereadittouswiththeairofatragedian.Youwillsee
byitwhatthemadfellowhadintendedtodo,ifwehadnotallofusinterposed.Hewasactuallysettingoutwithasurgeonofthisplace,tohavetheladyopenedandembalmed.--Rotmeifitbenotmyfullpersuasionthat,ifhehad,herheartwouldhavebeenfoundtobeeitherironormarble.
WehavegotLordM.tohim.HisLordshipisalsomuchafflictedatthelady'sdeath.Hissistersandnieces,hesays,willbereadytobreaktheirhearts.Whatarout'shereaboutawoman!Forafterallshewasnomore.
Wehavetakenapailfulofblackbull'sbloodfromhim;andthishasloweredhimalittle.ButhethreatensCol.Morden,hethreatensyoufor
yourcursedreflections,[cursedreflectionsindeed,Jack!]andcursesalltheworldandhimselfstill.
Lastnighthismourning(whichisfullasdeepasforawife)wasbroughthome,andhisfellows'mourningtoo.And,thougheighto'clock,hewouldputiton,andmakethemattendhimintheirs.
Everybodyblameshimonthislady'saccount.ButIseenotforwhy.Shewasavixeninhervirtue.Whataprettyfellowshehasruined--Hey,Jack!--andherrelationsaretentimesmoretoblamethanhe.Iwillprovethistotheteethofthemall.Iftheycoulduseherill,whyshouldtheyexpecthimtouseherwell?--You,orI,orTourville,inhisshoes,wouldhavedoneashehasdone.Arenotallthegirlsforewarned?
--'HashedonebyherasthatcaitiffMilesdidtothefarmer'sdaughter,whomhetrickeduptotown,(aprettygirlalso,justsuchanotherasBob.'sRosebud,)underanotionofwaitingonalady?--Drilledheron,pretendingtheladywasabroad.Drankherlight-hearted--thencarriedhertoaplay--thenitwastoolate,youknow,toseethepretendedlady--thentoabagnio--ruinedher,astheycallit,andallthisthesameday.Keptheron(anuglydog,too!)afortnightorthreeweeks,thenlefthertothemercyofthepeopleofthebagnio,(neverpayingforanything,)whostriptherofallherclothes,andbecauseshewouldnottakeon,threwherintoprison;whereshediedinwantanddespair!'--Atrue
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story,thouknowest,Jack.--Thisfellowdeservedtobed----d.ButhasourBob.beensuchavillainasthis?--Andwouldhenothavemarriedthisflinty-heartedlady?--Soheisjustifiedveryevidently.
Why,then,shouldsuchcursedqualmstakehim?--Whowouldhavethoughthehadbeensuchpoorblood?Now[rotthepuppy!]toseehimsitsilentinacorner,whenhehastiredhimselfwithhismockmajesty,andwithhisargumentation,(Whosofondofarguingashe?)andteachinghisshadowtomakemouthsagainstthewainscot--ThedevilfetchmeifIhavepatiencewithhim!
Buthehashadnorestforthesetendays--that'sthething!--Youmustwritetohim;andpr'ytheecoaxhim,Jack,andsendhimwhathewritesfor,andgivehimallhisway--therewillbenobearinghimelse.Andgettheladyburiedasfastasyoucan;anddon'tlethimknowwhere.
Thislettershouldhavegoneyesterday.Wetoldhimitdid.Butwereinhopeshewouldhaveinquiredafteritagain.Butheravesashehasnotanyanswer.
WhathevouchsafedtoreadofotherofyourlettershasgivenmyLordsuchacuriosityasmakeshimdesireyoutocontinueyouraccounts.Praydo;butnotinyourhellishArabic;andwewillletthepoorfellowonlyintowhatwethinkfittingforhispresentway.
Iliveacurseddullpokinglifehere.WhatwithIsolatelysawofpoorBelton,andwhatInowseeofthischarmingfellow,Ishallbeascrazyashesoon,orasdullasthou,Jack;somustseekforbettercompanyintownthaneitherofyou.Ihavebeenforcedtoreadsometimestodivertme;andyouknowIhatereading.Itpresentlysetsmeintoafitofdrowsiness;andthenIyawnandstretchlikeadevil.
YetinDryden'sPalemonandArcitehaveIjustnowmetwithapassage,thathasinitmuchofourBob.'scase.Thesearesomeofthelines.
Mr.Mowbraythenrecitessomelinesfromthatpoem,describinga
distractedman,andrunstheparallel;andthen,pridinghimselfinhisperformance,says:
Letmetellyou,thathadIbeguntowriteasearlyasyouandLovelace,Imighthavecutasgoodafigureaseitherofyou.Whynot?ButboyormanIeverhatedabook.'Tisfollytolie.Ilovedaction,myboy.Ihateddroning;andhaveledinformerdaysmoreboysfromtheirbook,thanevermymastermadetoprofitbyit.Kickingandcuffing,andorchard-robbing,weremyearlyglory.
ButIamtiredofwriting.Ineverwrotesuchalongletterinmylife.Mywristandmyfingersandthumbached----n----y.Thepenisanhundredweightatleast.Andmyeyesarereadytodropoutofmyhead
uponthepaper.--Thecrampbutthisminuteinmyfingers.Rotthegooseandthegoose-quill!Iwillwritenomorelonglettersforatwelve-monthtocome.Yetoneword;wethinkthemadfellowcomingto.Adieu.
LETTERXXIII
MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.
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UXBRIDGE,SAT.SEPT.9.
JACK,
Ithinkitabsolutelyrightthatmyever-dearandbelovedladyshouldbeopenedandembalmed.Itmustbedoneoutofhandthisveryafternoon.Youracquaintance,Tomkins,andoldAndersonofthisplace,Iwillbringwithme,shallbethesurgeons.Ihavetalkedtothelatteraboutit.
Iwillseeeverythingdonewiththatdecorumwhichthecase,andthesacredpersonofmybelovedrequire.
Everythingthatcanbedonetopreservethecharmerfromdecayshallalsobedone.Andwhenshewilldescendtoheroriginaldust,orcannotbekeptlonger,Iwillthenhaveherlaidinmyfamily-vault,betweenmyownfatherandmother.Myself,asIaminmysoul,soinperson,chiefmourner.Butherheart,towhichIhavesuchunquestionablepretensions,inwhichonceIhadsolargeashare,andwhichIwillprizeabovemyown,Iwillhave.Iwillkeepitinspirits.Itshallneverbeoutofmysight.Andallthechargesofsepulturetooshallbemine.
Surelynobodywilldisputemyrighttoher.Whosewassheliving?--Whoseisshedeadbutmine?--Hercursedparents,whosebarbaritytoher,no
doubt,wasthetruecauseofherdeath,havelongsincerenouncedher.Sheleftthemforme.Shechosemetherefore;andIwasherhusband.WhatthoughItreatedherlikeavillain?DoInotpayforitnow?WouldshenothavebeenminehadInot?Nobodywilldisputebutshewould.Andhasshenotforgivenme?--Iamtheninstatuquopriuswithher,amInot?asifIhadneveroffended?--Whosethencanshebebutmine?
Iwillfreeyoufromyourexecutorship,andallyourcares.
Takenotice,Belford,thatIdoherebyactuallydischargeyou,andeverybody,fromallcaresandtroublesrelatingtoher.Andastoherlasttestament,Iwillexecuteitmyself.
Therewerenoarticlesbetweenus,nosettlements;andsheismine,asyouseeIhaveprovedtoademonstration;norcouldshedisposeofherselfbutasIpleased.--D----n----nseizemethenifImakenotgoodmyrightagainstallopposers!
Herbowels,ifherfriendsareverysolicitousaboutthem,andveryhumbleandsorrowful,(andnonehavetheyoftheirown,)shallbesentdowntothem--tobelaidwithherancestors--unlessshehasorderedotherwise.For,exceptthat,sheshallnotbecommittedtotheunworthyearthsolongasshecanbekeptoutofit,herwillshallbeperformedineverything.
Isendinthemeantimeforalockofherhair.
Ichargeyoustirnotinanypartofherwillbutbymyexpressdirection.Iwillordereverythingmyself.ForamInotherhusband?and,beingforgivenbyher,amInotthechosenofherheart?Whatelsesignifiesherforgiveness?
Thetwoinsufferablewretchesyouhavesentmeplaguemetodeath,andwouldtreatmelikeababeinstrings.--D--nthefellows,whatendcantheymeanbyit?YetthatcrippledmonkeyDolemanjoinswiththem.And,
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asIhearthemwhisper,theyhavesentforLordM.--tocontroulme,Isuppose.
WhatIwritetoyouforis,
1.Toforbidyouintermeddlingwithanythingrelatingtoher.ToforbidMordenintermeddlingalso.IfIrememberright,hehasthreatenedme,andcursedme,andusedmeill--andlethimbegonefromher,ifhewouldavoidmyresentment.
2.Tosendmealockofherhairinstantlybythebearer.
3.ToengageTomkinstohaveeverythingreadyfortheopeningandembalming.IshallbringAndersonwithme.
4.Togetherwillandeverythingreadyformyperusalandconsideration.
Iwillhavepossessionofherdearheartthisverynight;andletTomkinsprovideaproperreceptacleandspirits,tillIcangetagoldenonemadeforit.
Iwilltakeherpapers.And,asnoonecandohermemoryjusticeequaltomyself,andIwillnotsparemyself,whocanbettershowtheworld
whatshewas,andwhatavillainhethatcoulduseherill?Andtheworldshallalsoseewhatimplacableandunworthyparentsshehad.
Allshallbesetforthinwordsatlength.Nomincingofthematter.Namesundisguisedaswellasfacts.For,asIshallmaketheworstfigureinitmyself,andhavearighttotreatmyselfasnobodyelseshall,whoshallcontroulme?whodarecallmetoaccount?
Letmeknow,ifthed----dmotherbeyetthesubjectofthedevil'sownvengeance--iftheoldwretchbedeadoralive?SomeexemplarymischiefImustyetdo.Myrevengeshallsweepawaythatdevil,andallmyopposersofthecruelHarlowefamily,fromthefaceoftheearth.WholehecatombsoughttobeoffereduptothemanesofmyClarissaLovelace.
Althoughherwillmayinsomerespectscrossmine,yetIexpecttobeobserved.Iwillbetheinterpreterofher's.
Nexttomine,her'sshallbeobserved:forsheismywife,andshallbetoalleternity.--Iwillneverhaveanother.
Adieu,Jack,Iampreparingtobewithyou.Ichargeyou,asyouvaluemylifeoryourown,donotopposemeinanythingrelatingtomyClarissaLovelace.
Mytemperisentirelyaltered.Iknownotwhatitistolaugh,orsmile,orbepleasant.Iamgrowncholericandimpatient,andwillnotbe
controuled.
IwritethisincharactersasIusedtodo,thatnobodybutyoushouldknowwhatIwrite.ForneverwasanymanplaguedwithimpertinentsasIam.
R.LOVELACE.
INASEPARATEPAPERENCLOSEDINTHEABOVE.
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Letmetellthee,incharactersstill,thatIaminadreadfulwayjustnow.Mybrainisallboilinglikeacauldronoverafieryfurnace.Whatadevilisthematterwithme,Iwonder!Ineverwassostrangeinmylife.
Intruth,Jack,Ihavebeenamostexecrablevillain.AndwhenIconsiderallmyactionstotheangelofawoman,andinherthepiety,thecharity,thewit,thebeauty,Ihavehelpedtodestroy,andthegoodtotheworldIhavetherebybeenameanoffrustrating,Icanpronounced----n----nuponmyself.HowthencanIexpectmercyanywhereelse?
IbelieveIshallhavenopatiencewithyouwhenIseeyou.Yourd----dstingsandreflectionshavealmostturnedmybrain.
ButhereLordM.theytellme,iscome!--D----nhim,andthosewhosentforhim!
IknownotwhatIhavewritten.ButherdearheartandalockofherhairIwillhave,letwhowillbethegainsayers!Forisshenotmine?Whoseelsecanshebe?Shehasnofathernormother,nosister,nobrother,norelationsbutme.Andmybelovedismine,andIamher's--andthat'senough.--ButOh!--
She'sout.Thedampofdeathhasquench'dherquite!Thosespicydoors,herlips,areshut,closelock'd,Whichnevergaleoflifeshallopenmore!
Andisitso?--Isitindeedso?--GoodGod!--GoodGod!--Buttheywillnotletmewriteon.ImustgodowntothisofficiousPeer--Whothedevilsentforhim?
LETTERXXIV
MR.BELFORD,TORICHARDMOWBRAY,ESQ.
SUNDAY,SEPT.10.FOURINTHEAFTERNOON.
Ihaveyour's,withourunhappyfriend'senclosed.IamgladmyLordiswithhim.AsIpresumethathisphrensywillbebutofshortcontinuance,Imostearnestlywish,thatonhisrecoveryhecouldbeprevailedupontogoabroad.Mr.Morden,whoisinconsolable,hasseenbythewill,(asindeedhesuspectedbeforehereadit,)thatthecasewasmorethanacommonseduction;andhasdropthintsalready,thathelooksonhimself,onthataccount,asfreedfromhispromisesmadetothedyinglady,whichwere,thathewouldnotseektoavengeherdeath.
Youmustmaketherecoveryofhishealththemotiveforurginghimon
thishead;for,ifyouhintathisownsafety,hewillnotstir,butratherseektheColonel.
Astothelockofhair,youmayeasilypacifyhim,(asyouoncesawtheangel,)withhairnearthecolour,ifhebeintentuponit.
AtmyLord'sdesireIwillwriteon,andinmycommonhand;thatyoumayjudgewhatis,andwhatisnot,fittobereadtoMr.Lovelaceatpresent.ButasIshallnotforbearreflectionsasIgoalong,inhopestoreachhisheartonhisrecovery,Ithinkitbesttodirectmyselfto
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himstill,andthatasifhewerenotdisordered.
AsIshallnothaveleisuretotakecopies,andyetamwillingtohavethewholesubjectbeforeme,formyownfuturecontemplation,Imustinsistuponareturnofmyletterssometimehence.Mr.Lovelaceknowsthatthisisoneofmyconditions;andhashithertocompliedwithit.
Thyletter,Mowbray,isaninimitableperformance.Thouartastrangeimpenetrablecreature.Butletmemostearnestlyconjurethee,andtheidleflutterer,Tourville,fromwhatyouhaveseenofpoorBelton'sexit;fromourfriendLovelace'sphrensy,andtheoccasionofit;andfromtheterribleconditioninwhichthewretchedSinclairlies;tosetaboutanimmediatechangeoflifeandmanners.Formyownpart,Iamdetermined,beyourresolutionswhattheymay,totaketheadviceIgive.
Aswitness,J.BELFORD.
LETTERXXV
MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.
OLovelace!IhaveascenetopaintinrelationtothewretchedSinclair,that,ifIdoitjustice,willmaketheeseriouslyponderandreflect,ornothingcan.Iwillleadtheetoitinorder;andthatinmyusualhand,thatthycompeersmaybeabletoreaditaswellasthyself.
WhenIhadwrittentheprecedingletter,notknowingwhattodowithmyself,recollecting,andinvainwishingforthatdelightfulandimprovingconversation,whichIhadnowforeverlost;IthoughtIhadasgoodbeginthetask,whichIhadforsometimepastresolvedtobegin;thatistosay,togotochurch;andseeifIcouldnotreapsomebenefitfromwhatIshouldhearthere.AccordinglyIdeterminedtogotohearthecelebratedpreacheratSt.James'schurch.But,asifthedevil(for
soIwasthenreadytoconclude)thoughthimselfconcernedtopreventmyintention,avisitwasmademe,justasIwasdressed,whichtookmeofffrommypurpose.
Fromwhomshouldthisvisitbe,butfromSallyMartin,accompaniedbyMrs.Carter,thesisteroftheinfamousSinclair!thesame,IsupposeIneednottellyou,whokeepsthebagnionearBloomsbury.
Thesetoldmethatthesurgeon,apothecary,andphysician,hadallgiventhewretchedwomanover;butthatshesaid,sheshouldnotdie,norbeatrest,tillshesawme;andtheybesoughtmetoaccompanytheminthecoachtheycamein,ifIhadonesparkofcharity,ofchristiancharity,astheycalledit,left.
Iwasverylothtobedivertedfrommypurposebyarequestsounwelcome,andfrompeoplesoabhorred;butatlastwent,andwegotthitherbyten;whereascenesoshockingpresenteditselftome,thatthedeathofpoordespondingBeltonisnot,Ithink,tobecomparedwithit.
Theoldwretchhadonceputherlegoutbyherrageandviolence,andhadbeencrying,scolding,cursing,eversincetheprecedingevening,thatthesurgeonhadtoldheritwasimpossibletosaveher;andthatamortificationhadbeguntoshowitself;insomuchthat,purelyin
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compassiontotheirownears,theyhadbeenforcedtosendforanothersurgeon,purposelytotellher,thoughagainsthisjudgment,and(beingafriendoftheother)toseemtoconvincehim,thathemistookthecase;andthatifshewouldbepatient,shemightrecover.But,nevertheless,herapprehensionsofdeath,andherantipathytothethoughtsofdying,weresostrong,thattheirimposturehadnottheintendedeffect,andshewasraving,crying,cursing,andevenhowling,morelikeawolfthanahumancreature,whenIcame;sothatasIwentupstairs,Isaid,Surelythisnoise,thishowling,cannotbefromtheunhappywoman!Sallysaiditwas;andassuredme,thatitwasnotingtothenoiseshehadmadeallnight;andsteppingintoherroombeforeme,dearMadamSinclair,saidshe,forbearthisnoise!Itismorelikethatofabullthanawoman!--HerecomesMr.Belford;andyou'llfrighthimawayifyoubellowatthisrate.
TherewerenolessthaneightofhercurseddaughterssurroundingherbedwhenIentered;oneofherpartners,PollyHorton,attheirhead;andnowSally,herotherpartner,andMadamCarter,astheycalledher,(fortheyareallMadamswithoneanother,)madethenumberten;allinshockingdishabille,andwithoutstays,exceptSally,Carter,andPolly;who,notdaringtoleaveher,hadnotbeeninbedallnight.
Theothersevenseemedtohavebeenbutjustup,risenperhapsfromtheircustomersinthefore-house,andtheirnocturnalorgies,withfaces,
threeorfourofthem,thathadrun,thepaintlyinginstreakyseamsnothalfblowzedoff,discoveringcoarsewrinkledskins:thehairofsomeofthemofdiverscolours,obligedtotheblack-leadcombwhereblackwasaffected;theartificialjet,however,yieldingapacetothenaturalbrindle:thatofothersplasteredwithoilandpowder;theoilpredominating:buteveryone'shangingaboutherearsandneckinbrokencurls,orraggedends;andeachatmyentrancetakenwithonemotion,strokingtheirmattedlockswithbothhandsundertheircoifs,mobs,orpinners,everyoneofwhichwasawry.Theywereallslip-shoed;stockinglesssome;onlyunder-petticoatedall;theirgowns,madetocoverstraddlinghoops,hangingtrollopy,andtanglingabouttheirheels;buthastilywraptroundthem,assoonasIcameupstairs.Andhalfofthem(unpadded,shoulder-bent,pallid-lips,limber-jointedwretches)
appearing,fromabloomingnineteenortwentyperhapsover-night,haggardwell-wornstrumpetsofthirty-eightorforty.
IamthemoreparticularindescribingtotheetheappearancethesecreaturesmadeinmyeyeswhenIcameintotheroom,becauseIbelievethouneversawestanyofthem,muchlessagroupofthem,thusunpreparedforbeingseen.*I,formypart,neverdidbefore;norhadInow,butuponthisoccasion,beingthusfavoured.Ifthouhadst,Ibelievethouwouldsthateaprofligatewoman,asoneofSwift'syahoos,orVirgil'sobsceneharpies,squirtingtheirordureupontheTrojantrenches;sincethepersonsofsuchintheirretirementsareasfilthyastheirminds.--HatethemasmuchasIdo;andasmuchasIadmire,andnexttoadore,atrulyvirtuousandelegantwoman:fortomeitisevident,thatasaneat
andcleanwomanmustbeanangelofacreature,soasluttishoneistheimpurestanimalinnature.Buttheseweretheveterans,thechosenband;fornow-and-thenflittedintothenumberofhalfadozenormore,byturns,subordinatesinners,under-graduates,youngerthansomeofthechosenphalanx,butnotlessobsceneintheirappearance,thoughindeednotsomuchbeholdentotheplasteringfocus;yetunproptbystays,squalid,looseinattire,sluggish-haired,uner-petticoatedonlyastheformer,eyeshalf-opened,winkingandpinking,mispatched,yawning,stretching,asiffromtheunworn-offeffectsofthemidnightrevel;allarmedinsuccessionwithsuppliesofcordials(ofwhicheveryonepresent
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waseithertasterorpartaker)underthedirectionofthebusierDorcas,whofrequentlypoptin,toseeherslopsdulygivenandtaken.
*WhoeverhasseenDeanSwift'sLady'sDressingroom,willthinkthisdescriptionofMr.Belford'snotonlymorenatural,butmoredecentpainting,aswellasbetterjustifiedbythedesign,andbytheusethatmaybemadeofit.
ButwhenIapproachedtheoldwretch,whataspectaclepresenteditselftomyeyes!
Hermisfortunehasnotatallsunk,butrather,asIthought,increasedherflesh;rageandviolenceperhapsswellinghermuscularfeatures.Beholdher,then,spreadingthewholetroubledbedwithherhugequaggycarcase:hermill-postarmsheldup;herbroadhandsclenchedwithviolence;herbigeyes,gogglingandflamingreadyaswemaysupposethoseofasalamander;hermattedgrieslyhair,madeirreverendbyherwickedness(hercloutedhead-dressbeinghalfoff,spreadaboutherfatearsandbrawnyneck;)herlividlipsparched,andworkingviolently;herbroadchininconvulsivemotion;herwidemouth,byreasonofthecontractionofherforehead(whichseemedtobehalf-lostinitsownfrightfulfurrows)splittingherface,asitwere,intotwoparts;and
herhugetonguehideouslyrollinginit;heaving,puffingasiffourbreath;herbellows-shapedandvarious-colouredbreastsascendingbyturnstoherchin,anddescendingoutofsight,withtheviolenceofhergaspings.
Thiswasthespectacle,asrecollectionhasenabledmetodescribeit,thatthiswretchmadetomyeye,byhersuffragansanddaughters,whosurveyedherwithscoulingfrightedattention,whichonemighteasilyseehadmoreinitofhorrorandself-concern(andself-condemnationtoo)thanofloveorpity;aswhoshouldsay,See!whatweourselvesmustonedaybe!
Assoonasshesawme,hernaturally-bigvoice,morehoarsenedbyher
ravings,brokeuponme:OMr.Belford!OSir!seewhatIamcometo!--SeewhatIambroughtto!--Tohavesuchacursedcrewaboutme,andnotoneofthemtotakecareofme!ButtoletmetumbledownstairssodistantfromtheroomIwentfrom!sodistantfromtheroomImeanttogoto!--Cursed,cursedbeeverycarelessdevil!--Maythisorworsebetheirfateeveryoneofthem!
Andthenshecursedandsworemostvehemently,andthemore,astwoorthreeofthemwereexcusingthemselvesonthescoreoftheirbeingatthattimeasunabletohelpthemselvesasshe.Assoonasshehadclearedthepassageofherthroatbytheoathsandcurseswhichherwildimpatiencemadeherutter,shebeganinamorehollowandwhiningstraintobemoanherself.Andhere,saidshe--Heavengrantmepatience!
[clenchingandunclenchingherhands]amItodiethusmiserably!--ofabrokenleginmyoldage!--snatchedawaybymeansofmyownintemperance!Self-do!Self-undone!--Notimeformyaffairs!Notimetorepent!--Andinafewhours(Oh!--Oh!--withanotherlonghowlingO--h!--U--gh--o!akindofscreamingkeyterminatingit)whoknows,whocantellwhereIshallbe?--Oh!thatindeedInever,never,hadhadabeing!
Whatcouldonesaytosuchawretchasthis,whosewholelifehadbeenspentinthemostdiffusivewickedness,andwhonodoubthasnumbersofsoulstoanswerfor?YetItoldher,shemustbepatient:thather
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violencemadeherworse:andthat,ifshewouldcomposeherself,shemightgetintoaframemoreproperforherpresentcircumstances.
Who,I?interruptedshe:Igetintoabetterframe!I,whocanneithercry,norpray!Yetalreadyfeelthetormentsofthed----d!WhatmercycanIexpect?Whathopeisleftforme?--Then,thatsweetcreature!thatincomparableMissHarlowe!she,itseems,isdeadandgone!Othatcursedman!Haditnotbeenforhim!Ihadneverhadthis,themostcryingofallmysins,toanswerfor!
Andthenshesetupanotherhowl.
Andisshedead?--Indeeddead?proceededshe,whenherhowlwasover--OwhatanangelhaveIbeenthemeansofdestroying!Forthoughitwasthatitwasmine,andyour's,andyour's,andyour's,devilsasweallwere[turningtoSally,toPolly,andtooneortwomore]thathedidnotdoherjustice!Andthat,thatismycurse,andwillonedaybeyours!Andthenagainshehowled.
Istilladvisedpatience.Isaid,thatifhertimeweretobesoshortassheapprehended,themoreoughtshetoendeavourtocomposeherself:andthenshewouldatleastdiewithmoreeasetoherself--andsatisfactiontoherfriends,Iwasgoingtosay--Buttheworddieputherintoaviolentraving,andthusshebrokeinuponme.Die,didyousay,
Sir?--Die!--Iwillnot,Icannotdie!--Iknownothowtodie!--Die,Sir!--AndmustIthendie?--Leavethisworld?--Icannotbearit!--Andwhobroughtyouhither,Sir?--[hereyesstrikingfireatme]WhobroughtyouhithertotellmeImustdie,Sir?--Icannot,Iwillnotleavethisworld.Letothersdie,whowishforanother!whoexpectabetter!--Ihavehadmyplaguesinthis;butwouldcompoundforallfuturehopes,soasImaybenothingafterthis!
Andthenshehowledandbellowedbyturns.
Bymyfaith,Lovelace,Itrembledineveryjoint;andlookinguponherwhospokethis,androaredthus,anduponthecompanyroundme,Imorethanoncethoughtmyselftobeinoneoftheinfernalmansions.
YetwillIproceed,andtry,forthygood,ifIcanshocktheebuthalfasmuchwithmydescriptions,asIwasshockedwithwhatIsawandheard.
Sally!--Polly!--SisterCarter!saidshe,didyounottellmeImightrecover?DidnotthesurgeontellmeImight?
Andsoyoumay,criedSally;MonsieurGaronsaysyoumay,ifyou'llbepatient.But,asIhaveoftentoldyouthisblessedmorning,youarereadertotakedespairfromyourownfears,thancomfortfromallthehopewecangiveyou.
Yet,criedthewretch,interrupting,doesnotMr.Belford(andtohimyou
havetoldthetruth,thoughyouwon'ttome;doesnothe)tellmethatIshalldie?--Icannotbearit!Icannotbearthethoughtsofdying!
Andthen,butthathalfadozenatonceendeavouredtokeepdownherviolenthands,wouldshehavebeatenherself;asitseemsshehadoftenattemptedtodofromthetimethesurgeonpoptoutthewordmortificationtoher.
Well,buttowhatpurpose,saidI(turningasidetohersister,andtoSallyandPolly),arethesehopesgivenher,ifthegentlemenofthe
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facultygiveherover?Youshouldletherknowtheworst,andthenshemustsubmit;forthereisnorunningawayfromdeath.Ifshehadanymatterstosettle,putheruponsettlingthem;anddonot,bytellinghershewilllive,whenthereisnoroomtoexpectit,takefromhertheopportunityofdoingneedfulthings.Dothesurgeonsactuallygiveherover?
Theydo,whisperedthey.Hergrosshabit,theysay,givesnohopes.Wehavesentforbothsurgeons,whomweexpecteveryminute.
Boththesurgeons(whoareFrench;forMrs.SinclairhasheardTourvillelaunchoutinthepraiseofFrenchsurgeons)cameinwhilewewerethustalking.Iretiredtothefartherendoftheroom,andthrewupawindowforalittleair,beinghalf-poisonedbytheeffluviaarisingfromsomanycontaminatedcarcases;whichgavemenoimperfectideaofthestenchofgaols,which,corruptingtheambientair,giveswhatiscalledtheprisondistemper.
Icamebacktothebed-sidewhenthesurgeonshadinspectedthefracture;andaskedthem,Iftherewereanyexpectationofherlife?
Oneofthemwhisperedme,therewasnone:thatshehadastrongfeveruponher,whichalone,insuchahabit,wouldprobablydothebusiness;andthatthemortificationhadvisiblygaineduponhersincetheywere
theresixhoursago.Willamputationsaveher?Heraffairsandhermindwantsettling.Afewdaysaddedtoherlifemaybeofservicetoherinbothrespects.
Theytoldmethefracturewashighinherleg;thatthekneewasgreatlybruised;thatthemortification,inallprobability,hadspreadhalf-wayofthefemur:andthen,gettingmebetweenthem,(threeorfourofthewomenjoiningus,andlisteningwiththeirmouthsopen,andallthesignsofignorantwonderintheirfaces,asthereappearedofself-sufficiencyinthoseoftheartists,)didtheybyturnsfillmyearswithananatomicaldescriptionofthelegandthigh;runningoverwithtermsofart,ofthetarsus,themetatarsus,thetibia,thefibula,thepatella,
theostali,theostibæ,thetibialisposticusandtibialisanticus,uptotheosfemoris,totheacetabulumoftheosischion,thegreattrochanter,glutæus,triceps,lividus,andlittlerotators;inshort,ofallthemuscles,cartilages,andbones,thatconstitutethelegandthighfromthegreattoetothehip;asiftheywouldshowme,thatalltheirsciencehadpenetratedtheirheadsnofartherthantheirmouths;whileSallyliftedupherhandswithaLaudblessme!Areallsurgeonssolearned!--Butatlastboththegentlemendeclared,thatifsheandherfriendswouldconsenttoamputation,theywouldwhipoffherleginamoment.
Mrs.Carterasked,Towhatpurpose,iftheoperationwouldnotsaveher?
Verytrue,theysaid;butitmightbeasatisfactiontothepatient'sfriends,thatallwasdonethatcouldbedone.
Andsothepoorwretchwastobelancedandquartered,asImaysay,foranexperimentonly!And,withoutanyhopeofbenefitfromtheoperation,wastopaythesurgeonsfortormentingher!
IcannotbutsayIhaveameanopinionofboththesegentlemen,who,thoughtheymakeafigure,itseems,intheirwayofliving,andboastnotonlyFrenchextraction,butaPariseducation,neverwillmakeanyin
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theirpractice.
HowunlikemyhonestEnglishfriendTomkins,aplainserious,intelligentman,whoseartliesdeeperthaninwords;whoalwaysavoidsparadeandjargon;andendeavourstomakeeveryoneasmuchajudgeofwhatheisaboutashimself!
Allthetimethatthesurgeonsranonwiththeiranatomicalprocess,thewretchedwomanmostfrightfullyroaredandbellowed;whichthegentlemen(whoshowedthemselvestobeoftheclassofthosewhoarenotaffectedwiththeevilstheydonotfeel,)tooknoothernoticeof,thanbyraisingtheirvoicestobeheard,assheraisedher's--beingevidentlymoresolicitoustoincreasetheiracquaintance,andtopropagatethenotionoftheirskill,thantoattendtotheclamoursofthepoorwretchwhomtheywerecalledintorelieve;thoughbythisverymeans,likethedogandtheshadowinthefable,theylostbothaimswithme;forIneverwasdeceivedinonerule,whichImadeearly;towit,thatthestillestwateristhedeepest,whilethebubblingstreamonlybetraysshallowness;andthatstonesandpebbleslietheresonearthesurface,topointoutthebestplacetofordariverdryshod.
Asnobodycaredtotelltheunhappywretchwhateveryoneapprehendedmustfollow,andwhatthesurgeonsconvincedmesoonwould,Iundertooktobethedenouncerofherdoom.Accordingly,theoperatorsbeing
withdrawn,Isatdownbythebed-side,andsaid,Come,Mrs.Sinclair,letmeadviseyoutoforbeartheseravingsatthecarelessnessofthose,who,Ifind,atthetime,couldtakenocareofthemselves;andsincetheaccidenthashappened,andcannotberemedied,toresolvetomakethebestofthematter:forallthisviolencebutenragesthemalady,andyouwillprobablyfallintoadelirium,ifyougivewaytoit,whichwilldepriveyouofthatreasonwhichyououghttomakethebestofforthetimeitmaybelentyou.
Sheturnedherheadtowardsme,andhearingmespeakwithadeterminedvoice,andseeingmeassumeasdeterminedanair,becamemorecalmandattentive.
Iwenton,tellingher,thatIwasglad,fromthehintsshehadgiven,tofindherconcernedforherpastmisspentlife,andparticularlyforthepartshehadhadintheruinofthemostexcellentwomanonearth:thatifshewouldcomposeherself,andpatientlysubmittotheconsequencesofanevilshehadbroughtuponherself,itmightpossiblybehappyforheryet.Meantime,continuedI,tellme,withtemperandcalmness,whywasyousodesiroustoseeme?
Sheseemedtobeingreatconfusionofthought,andturnedherheadthiswayandthat;andatlast,aftermuchhesitation,said,Aladforme!IhardlyknowwhatIwantedwithyou.WhenIawokefrommyintemperatetrance,andfoundwhatacursedwayIwasin,myconsciencesmoteme,andIwasforcatchinglikeadrowningwretch,ateverystraw.Iwantedto
seeeverybodyandanybodybutthoseIdidsee;everybodywhoIthoughtcouldgivemecomfort.YetcouldIexpectnonefromyouneither;foryouhaddeclaredyourselfmyenemy,althoughIhadneverdoneyouharm;forwhat,Jackey,inheroldtone,whiningthroughhernose,wasMissHarlowetoyou?--Butsheishappy!--Butoh!whatwillbecomeofme?--Yettellme,(forthesurgeonshavetoldyouthetruth,nodoubt,)tellme,shallIdowellagain?MayIrecover?IfImay,Iwillbeginanewcourseoflife:asIhopetobesaved,Iwill.I'llrenounceyouall--everyoneofyou,[lookingroundher,]andscrapeallIcantogether,andlivealifeofpenitence;andwhenIdie,leaveitalltocharitableuses--Iwill,bymy
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soul--everydoitofittocharity--butthisonce,liftingupherrollingeyes,andfoldedhands,(withawry-mouthedearnestness,inwhicheverymuscleandfeatureofherfaceboreitspart,)thisonetime--goodGodofHeavenandearth,butthisonce!thisonce!repeatingthosewordsfiveorsixtimes,sparethypoorcreature,andeveryhourofmylifeshallbepassedinpenitenceandatonement:uponmysoulitshall!
Lessvehement!alittlelessvehement!saidI--itisnotforme,whohaveledsofreealife,asyoubuttoowellknow,totalktoyouinareproachingstrain,andtosetbeforeyoutheiniquityyouhavelivedin,andthemanysoulsyouhavehelpedtodestroy.Butasyouareinsopenitentaway,ifImightadvise,youshouldsendforagoodclergyman,thepurityofwhoselifeandmannersmaymakeallthesethingscomefromhimwithabettergracethantheycanfromme.
How,Sir!What,Sir!interruptingme:sendforaparson!--ThenyouindeedthinkIshalldie!Thenyouthinkthereisnoroomforhope!----Aparson,Sir!----Whosendsforaparson,whilethereisanyhopeleft?--Thesightofaparsonwouldbedeathimmediatetome!--Icannot,cannotdie!--Nevertellmeofit!--What!die!--What!cutoffinthemidstofmysins!
Andthenshebeganagaintorave.
Icannotbear,saidI,risingfrommyseatwithasternair,toseeareasonablecreaturebehavesooutrageously!--Willthisvehemence,thinkyou,mendthematter?Willitavailyouanything?Willitnotrathershortenthelifeyouaresodesiroustohavelengthened,anddepriveyouoftheonlyopportunityyoucaneverhavetosettleyouraffairsforbothworlds?--Deathisbutthecommonlot:andifitbeyour'ssoon,lookingather,itwillbealsoyour's,andyour's,andyour's,speakingwitharaisedvoice,andturningtoeverytremblingdevilroundher,[fortheyallshookatmyforcibleapplication,]andminetoo.Andyouhavereasontobethankful,turningagaintoher,thatyoudidnotperishinthatactofintemperancewhichbroughtyoutothis:foritmighthavebeenyourneck,aswellasyourleg;andthenyouhadnothadtheopportunityyounowhaveforrepentance--and,theLordhavemercyuponyou!intowhata
statemightyouhaveawoke!
Thendidthepoorwretchsetupaninarticulatefrightfulhowl,suchaoneasIneverbeforeheardofher;andseeingeveryonehalf-frighted,andmemotioningtowithdraw,Opityme,pityme,Mr.Belford,criedshe,herwordsinterruptedbygroans--IfindyouthinkIshalldie!--AndwhatmayIbe,andwhere,inaveryfewhours--whocantell?
Itoldheritwasvaintoflatterher:itwasmyopinionshewouldnotrecover.
Iwasgoingtore-advisehertocalmherspirits,andendeavourtoresignherself,andtomakethebesetoftheopportunityyetlefther;butthis
declarationsetherintoamostoutrageousraving.Shewouldhavetornherhair,andbeatenherbreast,hadnotsomeofthewretchesheldherhandsbyforce,whileotherskeptherassteadyastheycould,lestsheshouldagainputouthernew-setleg;sothat,seeingherthusincapableofadvice,andinaperfectphrensy,ItoldSallyMartin,thattherewasnobearingtheroom;andthattheirbestwaywastosendforaministertopraybyher,andtoreasonwithher,assoonassheshouldbecapableofit.AndsoIleftthem;andneverwassosensibleofthebenefitoffreshair,asIwasthemomentIenteredthestreet.
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Norisittobewonderedat,whenitisconsideredthat,tothevariousillsmellsthatwillalwaysbefoundinaclosesickbed-room,(forgenerally,whenthephysiciancomes,theairisshutout,)thisofMrs.Sinclairwasthemoreparticularlyoffensive,as,tothescentofplasters,salves,andointments,wereaddedthestenchesofspirituousliquors,burntandunburnt,ofalldenominations;foroneorotherofthecreatures,underpretenceofcolics,gripes,orqualms,werecontinuallycallingforsuppliesofthese,allthetimeIwasthere.Andyetthisisthoughttobeagenteelhouseofthesort;andalltheprostitutesinitareprostitutesofprice,andtheirvisiterspeopleofnote.
O,Lovelace!whatlivesdomostofusrakesandlibertineslead!whatcompanydowekeep!And,forsuchcompany,whatsocietyrenounce,orendeavourtomakelikethese!
Whatwoman,niceinherperson,andofpurityinhermindandmanners,didsheknowwhatmirywallowersthegeneralityofmenofourclassareinthemselves,andconstantlytroughandstywith,butwoulddetestthethoughtsofassociatingwithsuchfilthysensualists,whosefavouritetastecarriesthemtominglewiththedregsofstews,brothels,andcommonsewers?
Yet,tosuchachoicearemanyworthywomenbetrayed,bythatfalseand
inconsideratenotion,raisedandpropagated,nodoubt,bytheauthorofalldelusion,thatareformedrakemakesthebesthusband.Werakes,indeed,areboldenoughtosuppose,thatwomeningeneralareasmuchrakesintheirhearts,asthelibertinessomeofthemsufferthemselvestobetakewithareintheirpractice.Asupposition,therefore,whichitbehovespersonsoftruehonourofthatsextodiscountenance,byrejectingtheaddressofeveryman,whosecharacterwillnotstandthetestofthatvirtuewhichisthegloryofawoman:andindeed,Imaysay,ofamantoo:whyshoulditnot?
How,indeed,canitbe,ifthispointbedulyweighed,thatamanwhothinksalikeofallthesex,andknowsittobeinthepowerofawifetodohimthegreatestdishonourmancanreceive,anddoubtsnotherwill
todoit,ifopportunityoffer,andimportunitybenotwanting:thatsuchaone,fromprinciple,shouldbeagoodhusbandtoanywoman?And,indeed,littledoinnocentsthink,whatatotalrevolutionofmanners,whatachangeoffixedhabits,nay,whataconquestofabadnature,andwhataportionofDivineGRACE,isrequired,tomakeamanagoodhusband,aworthyfather,andtruefriend,fromprinciple;especiallywhenitisconsidered,thatitisnotinaman'sownpowertoreformwhenhewill.This,(tosaynothingofmyownexperience,)thou,Lovelace,hastfoundintheprogressofthyattemptsuponthedivineMissHarlowe.Forwhoseremorsescouldbedeeper,ormorefrequent,yetmoretransientthanthine!
Now,Lovelace,letmeknowifthewordgracecanbereadfrommypen
withoutasneerfromtheeandthyassociates?Iownthatonceitsoundedoddlyinmyears.ButIshallneverforgetwhatagravemanoncesaidonthisveryword--thatwithhimitwasarake'ssibboleth.*Hehadalwayshopesofonewhocouldbearthementionofitwithoutridiculingit;andevergavehimupforanabandonedman,whomadeajestofit,orofhimwhousedit.
*SeeJudgesxii.6.
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Don'tbedisgusted,thatIminglesuchgravereflectionsasthesewithmynarratives.Itbecomesme,inmypresentwayofthinking,todoso,whenIsee,inMissHarlowe,howallhumanexcellence,andinpoorBelton,howallinhumanlibertinism,andamnearseeinginthisabandonedwoman,howalldiabolicalprofligacy,end.AndgladshouldIbeforyourownsake,foryoursplendidfamily'ssake,andforthesakeofallyourintimatesandacquaintance,thatyouwerelabouringunderthesameimpressions,thatsowewhohavebeencompanionsin(andpromotersofoneanother's)wickedness,mightjoininageneralatonementtotheutmostofourpower.
Icamehomereflectinguponallthesethings,moreedifyingtomethananysermonIcouldhaveheardpreached:andIshallconcludethislongletterwithobserving,thatalthoughIleftthewretchedhowlerinahighphrensy-fit,whichwasexcessivelyshockingtotheby-standers;yetherphrensymustbethehappiestpartofherdreadfulcondition:forwhensheisherself,asitiscalled,whatmustbeherreflectionsuponherpastprofligatelife,throughoutwhichithasbeenherconstantdelightandbusiness,devil-like,tomakeothersaswickedasherself!Whatmustherterrorsbe(ahellalreadybeguninhermind!)onlookingforwardtothedreadfulstatesheisnowuponthevergeof!--ButIdropmytremblingpen.
Tohavedonewithsoshockingasubjectatonce,weshalltakenotice,thatMr.Belford,inafutureletter,writes,thatthemiserablewoman,tothesurpriseoftheoperatorsthemselves,(throughhourlyincreasingtorturesofbodyandmind,)heldoutsolongastillThursday,Sept.21;andthendiedinsuchagoniesasterrifiedintoatransitorypenitenceallthewretchesabouther.
LETTERXXVI
COLONELMORDEN,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.SUNDAYNIGHT,SEPT.10.
DEARSIR,
Accordingtomypromise,Isendyouanaccountofmattershere.PoorMrs.Nortonwassoveryillupontheroad,that,slowlyasthehearsemoved,andthechariotfollowed,IwasafraidweshouldnothavegothertoSt.Albans.WeputupthereasIhadintended.Iwasinhopesthatshewouldhavebeenbetterforthestop:butIwasforcedtoleaveherbehindme.Iorderedthemaid-servantyouweresoconsideratelykindastosenddownwithher,tobeverycarefulofher;andleftthechariottoattendher.Shedeservesalltheregardthatcanbepaidher;notonlyuponmycousin'saccount,butonherown--sheisanexcellentwoman.
WhenwewerewithinfivemilesofHarlowe-place,Iputonahand-gallop.Iorderedthehearsetoproceedmoreslowlystill,thecross-roadwewereinbeingrough;andhavingmoretimebeforeusthanIwanted;forIwishednotthehearsetobeintillneardusk.IgottoHarlowe-placeaboutfouro'clock.YoumaybelieveIfoundamournfulhouse.Youdesiremetobeveryminute.
Atmyentranceintothecourt,theywereallinmotion.EveryservantwhomIsawhadswelledeyes,andlookedwithsomuchconcern,thatat
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firstIapprehendedsomenewdisasterhadhappenedinthefamily.Mr.JohnandMr.AntonyHarloweandMrs.Herveywerethere.Theyallhelpedononeanother'sgrief,astheyhadbeforedoneeachother'shardnessofheart.
MycousinJamesmetmeattheentranceofthehall.Hiscountenanceexpressedafixedconcern;andhedesiredmetoexcusehisbehaviourthelasttimeIwasthere.
MycousinArabellacametomefulloftearsandgrief.
OCousin!saidshe,hanginguponmyarm,Idarenotaskyouanyquestions!--Abouttheapproachofthehearse,Isupposeshemeant.
Imyselfwasfullofgrief;and,withoutgoingfartherorspeaking,satdowninthehallinthefirstchair.
Thebrothersatononehandofme,thesisterontheother.Bothweresilent.Thelatterintears.
Mr.AntonyHarlowecametomesoonafter.Hisfacewasoverspreadwithalltheappearanceofwoe.Herequestedmetowalkintotheparlour;where,ashesaid,wereallhisfellow-mourners.
Iattendedhimin.MycousinsJamesandArabellafollowedme.Aperfectconcertofgrief,asImaysay,brokeoutthemomentIenteredtheparlour.
MycousinHarlowe,thedearcreature'sfather,assoonashesawme,said,OCousin,Cousin,ofallourfamily,youaretheonlyonewhohavenothingtoreproachyourselfwith!--Youareahappyman!
Thepoormother,bowingherheadtomeinspeechlessgrief,satwithherhandkerchiefheldtohereyeswithonehand.TheotherhandwasheldbyhersisterHervey,betweenbothher's;Mrs.Herveyweepinguponit.
NearthewindowsatMr.JohnHarlowe,hisfaceandhisbodyturnedfromthesorrowingcompany;hiseyesredandswelled.
MycousinAntony,athisre-enteringtheparlour,wenttowardsMrs.Harlowe--Don't--dearSister,saidhe!--ThentowardsmycousinHarlowe--Don't--dearBrother!--Don'tthusgiveway--And,withoutbeingabletosayanotherword,wenttoacorneroftheparlour,and,wantinghimselfthecomforthewouldfainhavegiven,sunkintoachair,andaudiblysobbed.
MissArabellafollowedheruncleAntony,ashewalkedinbeforeme,andseemedasifshewouldhavespokentothepiercedmothersomewordsofcomfort.Butshewasunabletoutterthem,andgotbehindhermother's
chair;and,incliningherfaceoverit,ontheunhappylady'sshoulder,seemedtoclaimtheconsolationthatindulgentparentused,butthenwasunable,toaffordher.
YoungMr.Harlowe,withallhisvehemenceofspirit,wasnowsubdued.Hisself-reproachingconscience,nodoubt,wasthecauseofit.
Andwhat,Sir,musttheirthoughtsbe,which,atthatmoment,inamanner,deprivedthemofallmotion,andturnedtheirspeechintosighsandgroans!--Howtobepitied,howgreatlytobepitied!allofthem!
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ButhowmuchtobecursedthatabhorredLovelace,who,asitseems,byartsuncommon,andavillanywithoutexample,hasbeenthesoleauthorofawoesocomplicatedandextensive!--Godjudgeme,as--ButIstop--theman(themancanIsay?)isyourfriend!--Healreadysuffers,youtellme,inhisintellect.--Restorehim,Heaven,tothat--IfIfindthemattercomeout,asIapprehenditwill--indeedherownhintofhisusageofher,asinherwill,isenough--northink,mybelovedcousin,thoudarlingofmyheart!thatthygentlespirit,breathingcharityandforgivenesstothevilestofmen,shallavailhim!--ButoncemoreIstop--forgiveme,Sir!--Whocouldbeholdsuchascene,whocouldrecollectitinordertodescribeit,(asminutelyasyouwishedmetorelatehowthisunhappyfamilywereaffectedonthissadoccasion,)everyoneofthemournersnearlyrelatedtohimself,andnottobeexasperatedagainsttheauthorofall?
AsIwastheonlyperson(grievedasIwasmyself)fromwhomanyofthem,atthatinstant,couldderivecomfort;Letusnot,saidI,mydearCousin,approachingtheinconsolablemother,givewaytoagrief,which,howeverjust,cannowavailusnothing.Wehurtourselves,andcannotrecallthedearcreatureforwhomwemourn.Norwouldyouwishit,ifyouknowwithwhatassuranceofeternalhappinessshelefttheworld--Sheishappy,Madam!--dependuponit,sheishappy!Andcomfortyourselveswiththatassurance!
OCousin,Cousin!criedtheunhappymother,withdrawingherhandfromthatofhersisterHervey,andpressingminewithit,youknownotwhatachildIhavelost!--Theninalowvoice,andhowlost!--Thatitisthatmakesthelossinsupportable.
Theyalljoinedinakindofmelancholychorus,andeachaccusedhimandherself,andsomeofthemoneanother.Buttheeyesofall,inturn,werecastuponmycousinJames,asthepersonwhohadkeptupthegeneralresentmentagainstsosweetacreature.Whilehewashardlyabletobearhisownremorse:norMissHarloweher's;shebreakingoutintowords,HowtauntinglydidIwritetoher!HowbarbarouslydidIinsulther!Yethowpatientlydidshetakeit!--Whowouldhavethoughtthatshehadbeensonearherend!--OBrother,Brother!butforyou!--Butforyou!--Double
notuponme,saidhe,myownwoes!Ihaveeverythingbeforemethathaspassed!Ithoughtonlytoreclaimadearcreaturethathaderred!Iintendednottobreakhertenderheart!ButitwasthevillanousLovelacewhodidthat--notanyofus!--Yet,Cousin,didshenotattributealltome?--Ifearshedid!--Tellmeonly,didshenameme,didshespeakofme,inherlasthours?Ihopeshe,whocouldforgivethegreatestvillainonearth,andpleadthathemaybesafefromourvengeance,Ihopeshecouldforgiveme.
Shediedblessingyouall;andjustifiedratherthancondemnedyourseveritytoher.
Thentheysetupanothergenerallamentation.Wesee,saidherfather,
enoughwesee,inherheart-piercingletterstous,whatahappyframeshewasinafewdaysbeforeherdeath--Butdiditholdtothelast?Hadshenorepinings?Hadthedearchildnoheartburnings?
Noneatall!--Ineversaw,andnevershallsee,soblessedadeparture:andnowonder;forIneverheardofsuchapreparation.Everyhour,forweekstogether,weretakenupinit.Letthisbeourcomfort:weneedonlytowishforsohappyanendforourselves,andforthosewhoarenearesttoourhearts.Wemayanyofusbegrievedforactsofunkindnesstoher:buthadallhappenedthatonceshewishedfor,she
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couldnothavemadeahappier,perhapsnotsohappyanend.
Dearsoul!andDearsweetsoul!thefather,uncles,sister,mycousinHervey,criedoutallatonce,inaccentsofanguishinexpressiblyaffecting.
Wemustforeverybedisturbedforthoseactsofunkindnesstososweetachild,criedtheunhappymother!--Indeed!indeed![softlytohersisterHervey,]Ihavebeentoopassive,muchtoopassiveinthiscase!--ThetemporaryquietIhavebeensostudiousallmylifetopreserve,hascostmeeverlastingdisquiet!----Thereshestopt.
DearSister!wasallMrs.Herveycouldsay.
Ihavedonebuthalfmydutytothedearestandmostmeritoriousofchildren,resumedthesorrowingmother!--Nay,nothalf!--Howhavewehardenedourheartsagainsther!----Againhertearsdeniedpassagetoherwords.
Mydearest,dearestSister!--againwasallMrs.Herveycouldsay.
WouldtoHeaven,proceeded,exclaiming,thepoormother,Ihadbutonceseenher!Then,turningtomycousinJames,andhissister--Omyson!OmyArabella!ifWEweretoreceiveaslittlemercy--Andthereagainshe
stopt,hertearsinterruptingherfartherspeech;everyone,allthetime,remainingsilent;theircountenancesshowingagriefintheirheartstoobigforexpression.
Nowyousee,Mr.Belford,thatmydearestcousincouldbeallowedallhermerit!--Whatadreadfulthingisafter-reflectionuponaconductsoperverseandunnatural?
Othiscursedfriendofyour's,Mr.Belford!ThisdetestedLovelace!--Tohim,tohimisowing--
Pardonme,Sir.IwilllaydownmypentillIhaverecoveredmytemper.
ONEINTHEMORNING.
Invain,Sir,haveIendeavouredtocomposemyselftorest.Youwishedmetobeveryparticular,andIcannothelpit.Thismelancholysubjectfillsmywholemind.Iwillproceed,thoughitbemidnight.
Aboutsixo'clockthehearsecametotheoutwardgate--theparishchurchisatsomedistance;butthewindsettingfair,theafflictedfamilywerestruck,justbeforeitcame,intoafreshfitofgrief,onhearingthefuneralbelltolledinaverysolemnmanner.Arespect,asitproved,andastheyallguessed,paidtothememoryofthedeardeceased,outofofficiouslove,asthehearsepassednearthechurch.
Judge,whentheirgriefwassogreatinexpectationofit,whatitmustbewhenitarrived.
Aservantcameintoacquaintuswithwhatitslumberingheavynoiseupthepavedinnercourt-yardapprizedusofbefore.Hespokenot.Hecouldnotspeak.Helooked,bowed,andwithdrew.
Isteptout.Nooneelsecouldthenstir.Herbrother,however,soonfollowedme.WhenIcametothedoor,Ibeheldasightveryaffecting.
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Youhaveheard,Sir,howuniversallymydearcousinwasbeloved.Bythepoorandmiddlingsortespecially,noyoungladywaseversomuchbeloved.Andwithreason:shewasthecommonpatronessofallthehonestpoorinherneighbourhood.
Itisnaturalforus,ineverydeepandsinceregrief,tointerestallweknowinwhatissoconcerningtoourselves.Theservantsofthefamily,itseems,hadtoldtheirfriends,andthosetheir's,thatthough,living,theirdearyoungladycouldnotbereceivednorlookedupon,herbodywaspermittedtobebroughthome.Thespaceoftimewassoconfined,thatthosewhoknewwhenshedied,musteasilyguessnearthetimethehearsewastocome.Ahearse,passingthroughcountryvillages,andfromLondon,howeverslenderlyattended,(forthechariot,asIhavesaid,waiteduponpoorMrs.Norton,)takeseveryone'sattention.Norwasithardtoguesswhosethismustbe,thoughnotadornedbyescutcheons,whenthecross-roadstoHarlowe-placeweretaken,assoonasitcamewithinsixmilesofit;sothatthehearse,andthesolemntollingofthebell,haddrawntogetheratleastfifty,ortheneighbouringmen,women,andchildren,andsomeofgoodappearance.Notasoulofthem,itseems,withadryeye,andeachlamentingthedeathofthisadmiredlady,who,asIamtold,neverstirredout,butsomebodywasthebetterforher.
These,whenthecoffinwastakenoutofthehearse,crowdingaboutit,
hindered,forafewmoments,itsbeingcarriedin;theyoungpeoplestrugglingwhoshouldbearit;andyet,withrespectfulwhisperings,ratherthanclamorouscontention.AmarkofvenerationIhadneverbeforeseenpaid,uponanyoccasioninallmytravels,fromtheunder-bredmany,fromwhomnoiseisgenerallyinseparableinalltheiremulations.
Atlastsixmaidenswerepermittedtocarryitinbythesixhandles.
Thecorpsewasthusborne,withthemostsolemnrespect,intothehall,andplacedforthepresentupontwostoolsthere.Theplates,andemblems,andinscription,seteveryonegazinguponit,andadmiringit.Themore,whentheyweretold,thatallwasofherownordering.They
wishedtobepermittedasightofthecorpse;butrathermentionedthisastheirwishthanastheirhope.Whentheyhadallsatisfiedtheircuriosity,andremarkedupontheemblems,theydispersedwithblessingsuponhermemory,andwithtearsandlamentations;pronouncinghertobehappy;andinferring,wereshenotso,whatwouldbecomeofthem?Whileothersranoverwithrepetitionsofthegoodshedelightedtodo.Norweretherewantingthoseamongthem,whoheapedcursesuponthemanwhowastheauthorofherfall.
Theservantsofthefamilythengotaboutthecoffin.Theycouldnotbefore:andthataffordedanewsceneofsorrow:butasilentone;fortheyspokeonlybytheireyes,andbysighs,lookinguponthelid,andupononeanother,byturns,withhandsliftedup.Thepresenceoftheir
youngmasterpossiblymightawethem,andcausetheirgrieftobeexpressedonlyindumbshow.
AsforMr.JamesHarlowe,(whoaccompaniedme,butwithdrewwhenhesawthecrowd,)hestoodlookinguponthelid,whenthepeoplehadleftit,withafixedattention:yet,Idaresay,knewnotasymbolorletteruponitatthatmoment,hadthequestionbeenaskedhim.Inaprofoundreveriehestood,hisarmsfolded,hisheadononeside,andmarksofstupefactionimprinteduponeveryfeature.
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Butwhenthecorpsewascarriedintothelesserparlour,adjoiningtothehall,whichsheusedtocallherparlour,andputuponatableinthemidstoftheroom,andthefatherandmother,thetwouncles,herauntHervey,andhersister,camein,joiningherbrotherandme,withtremblingfeet,andeagerwoe,thescenewasstillmoreaffecting.Theirsorrowwasheightened,nodoubt,bytheremembranceoftheirunforgivingseverity:andnowseeingbeforethemthereceptaclethatcontainedthegloryoftheirfamily,whosolatelywasdriventhencebytheirindiscreetviolence;never,nevermoretoberestoredtothe!nowonderthattheirgriefwasmorethancommongrief.
Theywouldhavewithheldthemother,itseems,fromcomingin.Butwhentheycouldnot,thoughundeterminedbefore,theyallborehercompany,ledonbyanimpulsetheycouldnotresist.Thepoorladybutjustcasthereyeuponthecoffin,andthensnatcheditaway,retiringwithpassionategrieftowardsthewindow;yet,addressingherself,withclaspedhands,asiftoherbeloveddaughter:OmyChild,myChild!criedshe;thouprideofmyhope!WhywasInotpermittedtospeakpardonandpeacetothee!--Oforgivethycruelmother!
Herson(hisheartthensoftened,ashiseyesshowed,)besoughthertowithdraw:andherwomanlookinginatthatmoment,hecalledhertoassisthiminconductingherladyintothemiddleparlour:andthenreturning,methisfathergoingoutofthedoor,whoalsohadbutjust
casthiseyeonthecoffin,andyieldedtomyentreatiestowithdraw.Hisgriefwastoodeepforutterance,tillhesawhissoncomingin;andthen,fetchingaheavygroan,Never,saidhe,wassorrowlikemysorrow!--OSon!Son!--inareproachingaccent,hisfaceturnedfromhim.
Iattendedhimthroughthemiddleparlour,endeavouringtoconsolehim.Hisladywasthereinagonies.Shetookhiseye.Hemadeamotiontowardsher:Omydear,saidhe--Butturningshort,hiseyesasfullashisheart,hehastenedthroughtothegreatparlour:andwhenthere,hedesiredmetoleavehimtohimself.
Theunclesandsisterlookedandturnedaway,veryoften,upontheemblems,insilentsorrow.Mrs.Herveywouldhavereadtothemthe
inscription--Thesewordsshedidread,Herethewickedceasefromtroubling--Butcouldreadnofarther.Hertearsfellinlargedropsupontheplateshewascontemplating;andyetshewasdesirousofgratifyingacuriositythatmingledimpatiencewithhergriefbecauseshecouldnotgratifyit,althoughsheoftenwipedhereyesastheyflowed.
Judgeyou,Mr.Belford,(foryouhavegreathumanity,)howImustbeaffected.YetwasIforcedtotrytocomfortthemall.
ButhereIwillclosethisletter,inordertosendittoyouinthemorningearly.Nevertheless,Iwillbeginanother,uponsuppositionthatmydolefulprolixitywillbedisagreeabletoyou.IndeedIamaltogetherindisposedforrest,asIhavementionedbefore.Socandonothingbut
write.Ihavealsomoremelancholyscenestopaint.Mypen,ifImaysayso,isuntired.Thesescenesarefreshuponmymemory:andImyself,perhaps,mayowetoyouthefavourofareviewofthem,withsuchotherpapersasyoushallthinkpropertoobligemewith,whenheavygriefhasgivenwaytomildermelancholy.
Myservant,inhiswaytoyouwiththisletter,shallcallatSt.Alban'suponthegoodwoman,thathemayinformyouhowshedoes.MissArabellaaskedmeafterher,whenIwithdrewtomychamber;towhichshecomplaisantlyaccompaniedme.Shewasmuchconcernedatthebadwaywe
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leftherin;andsaidhermotherwouldbemoreso.
Nowonderthatthedeardeparted,whoforesawtheremorsethatwouldfalltothelotofthisunhappyfamilywhentheycametohavethenewsofherdeathconfirmedtothem,wassogrievedfortheirapprehendedgrief,andendeavouredtocomfortthembyherposthumousletters.Butitwasstillagreatergenerosityinhertotrytoexcusethemtome,asshedidwhenwewerealonetogether,afewhoursbeforeshedied;andtoaggravatemorethan(asfarasIcanfind)sheoughttohavedone,theonlyerrorshewaseverguiltyof.Themorefreely,however,perhaps,(exaltedcreature!)thatImightthinkthebetterofherfriends,althoughatherownexpense.Iam,dearSir,
Yourfaithfulandobedientservant,WM.MORDEN.
LETTERXXVII
COLONELMORDEN[INCONTINUATION.]
Whentheunhappymournerswereallretired,Idirectedthelidofthecoffintobeunscrewed,andcausedsomefresharomaticsandflowerstobeputintoit.
Thecorpsewasverylittlealtered,notwithstandingthejourney.Thesweetsmileremained.
Themaidswhobroughttheflowerswereambitiousofstrewingthemaboutit:theypouredforthfreshlamentationsoverher;eachwishingshehadbeensohappyastohavebeenallowedtoattendherinLondon.Oneofthemparticularly,whois,itseems,mycousinArabella'spersonalservant,wasmoreclamorousinhergriefthananyoftherest;andthemomentsheturnedherback,alltheothersallowedshehadreasonforit.
Iinquiredafterwardsabouther,andfound,thatthiscreaturewassetovermydearcousin,whenshewasconfinedtoherchamberbyindiscreetseverity.
GoodHeaven!thattheyshouldtreat,andsufferthustobetreated,ayounglady,whowasqualifiedtogivelawstoallherfamily!
Whenmycousinsweretoldthatthelidwasunscrewed,theypressedinagain,allbutthemournfulfatherandmother,asifbyconsent.Mrs.Herveykissedherpalelips.Floweroftheworld!wasallshecouldsay;andgaveplacetoMissArabella;whokissingtheforeheadofherwhomshehadsocruellytreated,couldonlysay,tomycousinJames,(lookinguponthecorpse,anduponhim,)OBrother!--Whilehe,takingthefair,
lifelesshand,kissedit,andretreatedwithprecipitation.
Hertwouncleswerespeechless.Theyseemedtowaiteachother'sexample,whethertolookuponthecorpse,ornot.Iorderedthelidtobereplaced;andthentheypressedforward,astheothersagaindid,totakealastfarewellofthecasketwhichsolatelycontainedsorichajewel.
Thenitwasthatthegriefofeachfoundfluentexpression;andthefaircorpsewasaddressedto,withallthetendernessthatthesincerestlove
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andwarmestadmirationcouldinspire;eachaccordingtotheirdifferentdegreesofrelationship,asifnoneofthemhadbeforelookeduponher.Shewastheirveryniece,bothunclessaid!Theinjuredsaint,heruncleHarlowe!Thesamesmilingsister,Arabella!--Thedearcreature,allofthem!--Thesamebenignityofcountenance!Thesamesweetcomposure!Thesamenaturaldignity!--Shewasquestionlesshappy!Thatsweetsmilebetokenedherbeingso!themselvesmostunhappy!--Andthen,oncemore,thebrothertookthelifelesshand,andvowedrevengeuponit,onthecursedauthorofallthisdistress.
Theunhappyparentsproposedtotakeonelastviewandfarewelloftheironcedarlingdaughter.Thefatherwasgottotheparlour-door,aftertheinconsolablemother:butneitherofthemwereabletoenterit.Themothersaidshemustoncemoreseethechildofherheart,orsheshouldneverenjoyherself.Buttheybothagreedtorefertheirmelancholycuriositytillthenextday;andhadinhandretiredinconsolable,speechlessboth,theirfacesoverspreadwithwoe,andturnedfromeachother,asunableeachtobeholdthedistressoftheother.
Whenallwerewithdrawn,Iretired,andsentformycousinJames,andacquaintedhimwithhissister'srequestinrelationtothediscoursetobepronouncedatherinterment;tellinghimhownecessaryitwasthattheminister,whoeverhewere,shouldhavetheearliestnoticegivenhimthatthecasewouldadmit.HelamentedthedeathofthereverendDr.Lewen,
who,ashesaid,wasagreatadmirerofhissister,asshewasofhim,andwouldhavebeenthefittestofallmenforthatoffice.HespokewithgreatasperityofMr.Brand,uponwhoselightinquiryafterhissister'scharacterintownhewaswillingtolaysomeoftheblameduetohimself.Mr.Melvill,Dr.Lewen'sassistant,must,hesaid,betheman;andhepraisedhimforhisabilities;hiselocution,andunexceptionablemanners;andpromisedtoengagehimearlyinthemorning.
Hecalledouthissister,andhewasofhisopinion.SoIletthisuponthem.
Theyboth,withnolittlewarmth,hintedtheirdisapprobationofyou,Sir,fortheirsister'sexecutor,onthescoreofyourintimate
friendshipwiththeauthorofherruin.
YoumustnotresentanythingIshallcommunicatetoyouofwhattheysayonthisoccasion:dependingthatyouwillnot,Ishallwritewiththegreaterfreedom.
Itoldthemhowmuchmydearcousinwasobligedtoyourfriendshipandhumanity:theinjunctionsshehadlaidyouunder,andyourowninclinationtoobservethem.Isaid,Thatyouwereamanofhonour:thatyouweredesirousofconsultingme,becauseyouwouldnotwillinglygiveoffencetoanyofthem:andthatIwasveryfondofcultivatingyourfavourandcorrespondence.
Theysaidtherewasnoneedofanexecutoroutoftheirfamily;andtheyhopedthatyouwouldrelinquishsounnecessaryatrust,astheycalledit.MycousinJamesdeclaredthathewouldwritetoyou,assoonasthefuneralwasover,todesirethatyouwoulddoso,uponproperassurancesthatallthewillprescribedshouldbeperformed.
Isaidyouwereamanofresolution:thatIthoughthewouldhardlysucceed;forthatyoumadeapointofhonourofit.
Ithenshowedthemtheirsister'sposthumouslettertoyou;inwhichshe
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confessesherobligationstoyou,andregardforyou,andforyourfuturewelfare.*Youmaybelieve,Sir,theywereextremelyaffectedwiththeperusalofit.
*SeeLetterXII.ofthisvolume.
TheyweresurprisedthatIhadgivenuptoyoutheproduceofhergrandfather'sestatesincehisdeath.Itoldthemplainlythattheymustthankthemselvesifanythingdisagreeabletothemoccurredfromtheirsister'sdevise;deserted,andthrownintothehandsofstrangers,asshehadbeen.
TheysaidtheywouldreportallIhadsaidtotheirfatherandmother;adding,thatgreatastheirtroublewas,theyfoundtheyhadstillmoretocome.ButifMr.Belfordweretobetheexecutorofherwill,contrarytotheirhopes,theybesoughtmetotakethetroubleoftransactingeverythingwithyou;thatafriendofthemantowhomtheyowedalltheircalamitymightnotappeartothem.
Theywereextremelymovedatthetexttheirsisterhadchosenforthesubjectoftheirfuneraldiscourse.*Ihadextractedfromthewillthatarticle,supposingitprobablethatImightnotsosoonhavean
opportunitytoshowthemthewillitself,aswouldotherwisehavebeennecessary,onaccountoftheinterment,whichcannotbedelayed.
*SeetheWill,inpg.112ofthisvolume.
MONDAYMORNING,BETWEENEIGHTANDNINE.
Theunhappyfamilyarepreparingforamournfulmeetingatbreakfast.Mr.JamesHarlowe,whohashadaslittlerestasI,haswrittentoMr.Melvill,whohaspromisedtodrawupabriefeulogiumonthedeceased.
MissHoweisexpectedhereby-and-by,tosee,forthelasttime,herbelovedfriend.
MissHowe,byhermessenger,desiresshemaynotbetakenanynoticeof.Sheshallnottarrysixminutes,wastheword.Herdesirewillbeeasilygrantedher.
Herservant,whobroughttherequest,ifitweredenied,wastoreturn,andmeether;forshewasreadytosetoutinherchariot,whenhegotonhorseback.
Ifhemethernotwiththerefusal,hewastosayheretillshecame.Iam,Sir,
Yourfaithful,humbleservant,WILLIAMMORDEN.
LETTERXXVIII
COLONELMORDEN[INCONTINUATION.]
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MONDAYAFTERNOON,SEPT.11.
SIR,
Wearesuchbadcompanyheretooneanother,thatitissomerelieftoretireandwrite.
Iwassummonedtobreakfastabouthalfanhourafternine.Slowlydidthemournfulcongressmeet.Each,lifelesslyandspiritless,tookourplaces,withswolneyes,inquiring,withoutexpectinganytolerableaccount,howeachhadrested.
Thesorrowingmothergaveforanswer,thatsheshouldnevermoreknowwhatrestwas.
Bythetimewewerewellseated,thebellringing,theoutwardgateopening,achariotrattlingoverthepavementofthecourt-yard,putthemintoemotion.
Ileftthem;andwasjusttimeenoughtogiveMissHowemyhandasshealighted:hermaidintearsremaininginthechariot.
Ithinkyoutoldme,Sir,youneversawMissHowe.Sheisafine,
gracefulyounglady.Afixedmelancholyonherwholeaspect,overcloudedavivacityandfire,which,nevertheless,dartednow-and-thenthroughtheawfulgloom.Ishalleverrespectherforherlovetomydearcousin.
NeverdidIthink,saidshe,asshegavemeherhand,toentermorethesedoors:but,livingordead,Clarissabringsmeafterheranywhere!
Sheenteredwithmethelittleparlour;andseeingthecoffin,withdrewherhandfrommine,andwithimpatiencepushedasidethelid.Asimpatientlysheremovedtheface-cloth.Inawildair,sheclaspedherupliftedhandstogether;andnowlookeduponthecorpse,nowuptoHeaven,asifappealingtothat.Herbosomheavedandfluttereddiscerniblethroughherhandkerchief,andatlastshebrokesilence:--O
Sir!--Seeyounothere!--thegloryofhersex?--Thusbythemostvillanousofyours--thus--laidlow!
OmyblessedFriend!--saidshe--MysweetCompanion!--MylovelyMonitress!--kissingherlipsateverytenderappellation.Andisthisall!--IsitallofmyCLARISSA'Sstory!
Then,afterashortpause,andaprofoundsigh,sheturnedtome,andthentoherbreathlessfriend.Butisshe,canshebe,reallydead!--Ono!--Sheonlysleeps.--Awake,mybelovedFriend!Mysweetclay-coldFriend,awake:letthyAnnaHowerevivethee;byherwarmbreathrevivethee,mydearcreature!And,kissingheragain,Letmywarmlipsanimatethycoldones!
Then,sighingagain,asfromthebottomofherheart,andwithanair,asifdisappointedthatsheanswerednot,Andcansuchperfectionendthus!--AndartthoureallyandindeedflownfromthineAnnaHowe!--OmyunkindCLARISSA!
Shewassilentafewmoments,andthen,seemingtorecoverherself,sheturnedtome--Forgive,forgive,Mr.Morden,thiswildphrensy!--Iammyself!--Inevershallbe!--Youknewnottheexcellence,no,nothalftheexcellence,thatisthuslaidlow!--Repeating,Thiscannot,surely,be
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allofmyCLARISSA'Sstory!
Againpausing,Onetear,mybelovedfriend,didstthouallowme!--Butthisdumbsorrow!--Oforateartoeasemyfull-swolnheartthatisjustbursting!--
Butwhy,Sir,why,Mr.Morden,wasshesenthither?Whynottome?--Shehasnofather,nomother,norelation;no,notone!--Theyhadallrenouncedher.Iwashersympathizingfriend--AndhadnotIthebestrighttomydearcreature'sremains?--Andmustnames,withoutnature,bepreferredtosuchaloveasmine?
Againshekissedherlips,eachcheek,herforehead;--andsighedasifherheartwouldbreak--
Butwhy,why,saidshe,wasIwithheldfromseeingmydearest,dearfriend,andtooeasilypersuadedtodelay,thefriendlyvisitthatmyheartpantedafter;whatpainwillthisreflectiongiveme!--OmyblessedFriend!Whoknows,whoknows,hadIcomeintime,whatmycordialcomfortingsmighthavedoneforthee!--But--lookingroundher,asifsheapprehendedseeingsomeofthefamily--Onemorekiss,myAngel,myFriend,myever-to-be-regretted,lostCompanion!Andletmeflythishatedhouse,whichIneverlovedbutforthysake!--Adieuthen,mydearestCLARISSA!--Thouarthappy,Idoubtnot,asthouassuredstmein
thylastletter!--Omaywemeet,andrejoicetogether,wherenovillanousLovelaces,nohard-heartedrelations,willevershockourinnocence,orruffleourfelicity!
Againshewassilent,unabletogo,thoughseemingtointendit:struggling,asitwere,withhergrief,andheavingwithanguish.Atlast,happily,afloodoftearsgushedfromhereyes--Now!--Now!--saidshe,shallI--shallI--beeasier.Butforthiskindlyrelief,myheartwouldhaveburstasunder--more,manymoretearsthantheseareduetomyCLARISSA,whosecounselhasdoneformewhatminecouldnotdoforher!--Butwhy,lookingearnestlyuponher,herhandsclaspedandliftedup--ButwhydoIthuslamenttheHAPPY?Andthatthouartso,ismycomfort.Itis,itis,mydearcreature!kissingheragain.
Excuseme,Sir,[turningtome,whowasasmuchmovedasherself,]Ilovedthedearcreature,asneverwomanlovedanother.Excusemyfranticgrief.Howhasthegloryofhersexfallenavictimtovillanyandtohard-heartedness!
Madam,saidI,theyallhaveit!--Nowindeedtheyhaveit--
Andletthemhaveit;--Ishouldbeliemyloveforthefriendofmyheart,wereItopitythem!--ButhowunhappyamI[lookinguponher]thatIsawhernotbeforetheseeyeswereshut,beforetheselipswereforeverclosed!--OSir,youknownotthewisdomthatcontinuallyflowedfromtheselipswhenshespoke!--NorwhatafriendIhavelost!
Thensurveyingthelid,sheseemedtotakeinatoncethemeaningoftheemblems;andthisgavehersomuchfreshgrief,thatthoughsheseveraltimeswipeshereyes,shewasunabletoreadtheinscriptionandtexts;turning,therefore,tome,Favourme,Sir,Iprayyou,byaline,withthedescriptionoftheseemblems,andwiththesetexts;andifImightbeallowedalockofthedearcreature'shair----
Itoldherthatherexecutorwouldorderboth;andwouldalsosendheracopyofherlastwill;inwhichshewouldfindthemostgrateful
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remembrancesofherloveforher,whomshecallsThesisterofherheart.
Justly,saidshe,doesshecallmeso;forwehadbutoneheart,butonesoul,betweenus;andnowmybetterhalfistornfromme--WhatshallIdo?
Butlookingroundher,onaservant'ssteppingbythedoor,asifagainshehadapprehendeditwassomeofthefamily--Oncemore,saidshe,asolemn,aneverlastingadieu!--Alasforme!asolemn,aneverlastingadieu!
Thenagainembracingherfacewithbothherhands,andkissingit,andafterwardsthehandsofthedeardeceased,firstone,thentheother,shegavemeherhand,andquittingtheroomwithprecipitation,rushedintoherchariot;and,whenthere,withprofoundsight,andafreshburstoftears,unabletospeak,shebowedherheadtome,andwasdrivenaway.
TheinconsolablecompanysawhowmuchIhadbeenmovedonmyreturntothem.Mr.JamesHarlowehadbeentellingthemwhathadpassedbetweenhimandme.And,findingmyselfunfitforcompany,andobserving,thattheybrokeofftalkatmycomingin,Ithoughtitpropertoleavethemtotheirconsultations.
AndhereIwillputanendtothisletter,forindeed,Sir,thevery
recollectionofthisaffectingscenehasleftmenearlyasunabletoproceed,asIwas,justafterit,toconversewithmycousins.Iam,Sir,withgreattruth,
Yourmostobedienthumbleservant,WILLIAMMORDEN.
LETTERXXIX
COLONELMORDEN[INCONTINUATION.]
TUESDAYMORNING,SEPT.12.
ThegoodMrs.Nortonisarrived,alittleamendedinherspirits;owingtotheveryposthumousletters,asImaycallthem,whichyou,Mr.Belford,aswellasI,apprehendedwouldhavehadfataleffectsuponher.
Icannotbutattributethistotherightturnofhermind.Itseemsshehasbeeninuredtoafflictions;andhaslivedinaconstanthopeofabetterlife;and,havingnoactsofunkindnesstothedeardeceasedtoreproachherselfwith,ismostconsideratelyresolvedtoexertherutmostfortitudeinordertocomfortthesorrowingmother.
OMr.Belford,howdoesthecharacterofmydeardepartedcousinriseuponmefromeverymouth!--Hadshebeenmyownchild,ormysister!--Butdoyouthinkthatthemanwhooccasionedthisgreat,thisextendedruin--ButIforbear.
Thewillisnottobelookedinto,tillthefuneralritesareperformed.Preparationsaremakingforthesolemnity;andtheservants,aswellasprincipalsofallthebranchesofthefamily,areputintoclosemourning.
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IhaveseenMr.Melvill.Heisaseriousandsensibleman.Ihavegivenhimparticularstogouponinthediscourseheistopronounceatthefuneral;buthadthelessneedtodothis,asIfindheisextremelywellacquaintedwiththewholeunhappystory;andwasapersonaladmirerofmydearcousin,andasincerelamenterofhermisfortunesanddeath.ThereverendDr.Lewen,whoisbutverylatelydead,washisparticularfriend,andhadonceintendedtorecommendhimtoherfavourandnotice.
***
Iamjustreturnedfromattendingtheafflictedparents,inanefforttheymadetoseethecorpseoftheirbelovedchild.Theyhadrequestedmycompany,andthatofthegoodMrs.Norton.Alastleave,themothersaid,shemusttake.
Aneffort,however,itwas,andnomore.Themomenttheycameinsightofthecoffin,beforethelidcouldbeputaside,Omydear,saidthefather,retreating,Icannot,IfindIcannotbearit!--HadI--hadI--hadIneverbeenhard-hearted!--Then,turningroundtohislady,hehadbutjusttimetocatchherinhisarms,andpreventhersinkingonthefloor.--O,mydearestLife,saidhe,thisistoomuch!--toomuch,indeed!--Letus--letusretire.Mrs.Norton,who(attractedbytheawfulreceptacle)
hadbutjustleftthegoodlady,hastenedtoher--Dear,dearwoman,criedtheunhappyparent,flingingherarmsaboutherneck,bearme,bearmehence!--Omychild!mychild!myownClarissaHarlowe!thouprideofmylifesolately!--never,nevermoremustIbeholdthee!
Isupportedtheunhappyfather,Mrs.Nortonthesinkingmother,intothenextparlour.Shethrewherselfonasetteethere;heintoanelbow-chairbyher--thegoodwomanatherfeet,herarmsclaspedroundherwaist.Thetwomothers,Iasmaycallthem,ofmybelovedcousin,thustenderlyengaged!Whatavarietyofdistressinthesewoefulscenes!
Theunhappyfather,inendeavouringtocomforthislady,loadedhimself.
WouldtoGod,mydear,saidhe,wouldtoGodIhadnomoretochargemyselfwiththanyouhave!--Yourelented!--youwouldhaveprevaileduponmetorelent!
Thegreatermyfault,saidshe,whenIknewthatdispleasurewascarriedtoohigh,toacquiesceasIdid!--WhatabarbarousparentwasI,tolettwoangrychildrenmakemeforgetthatIwasmothertoathird--tosuchathird!
Mrs.Nortonusedargumentsandprayerstocomforther--O,mydearNorton,answeredtheunhappylady,youwasthedearcreature'smorenaturalmother!--WouldtoHeavenIhadnomoretoanswerforthanyouhave!
Thustheunhappypairunavailinglyrecriminated,tillmycousinHerveyentered,and,withMrs.Norton,conducteduptoherownchambertheinconsolablemother.Thetwouncles,andMr.Hervey,cameinatthesametime,andprevailedupontheafflictedfathertoretirewiththemtohis--bothgivingupallthoughtsofeverseeingmorethechildwhosedeathwassodeservedlyregrettedbythem.
Timeonly,Mr.Belford,cancombatwithadvantagesuchaheavydeprivationasthis.Advicewillnotdo,whilethelossisrecent.Naturewillhavewaygiventoit,(andsoitought,)tillsorrowhasina
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mannerexhausteditself;andthenreasonandreligionwillcomeinseasonablywiththeirpowerfulaids,toraisethedroopingheart.
IseeherenofacethatisthesameIsawatmyfirstarrival.Proudandhaughtyeverycountenancethen,unyieldingtoentreaty;now,howgreatlyaretheyhumbled!--Theutmostdistressisapparentineveryprotractedfeature,andineveryburstingmuscle,ofeachdisconsolatemourner.Theireyes,whichsolatelyflashedangerandresentment,nowareturnedtoeveryonethatapproachesthem,asifimploringpity!--Couldeverwilfulhard-heartednessbemoreseverelypunished?
ThefollowinglinesofJuvenalare,uponthewholeapplicabletothishouseandfamily;andIhaverevolvedthemmanytimessinceSundayevening:
HumanigenerismorestibinôssevolentiSufficitunadomus:paucosconsumeredies,&Diceretemiserum,postquamillincveneris,aude.
Letmeadd,thatMrs.Nortonhascommunicatedtothefamilytheposthumouslettersenther.Thisletteraffordsafoundationforfutureconsolationtothem;butatpresentithasnewpointedtheirgrief,bymakingthemreflectontheircrueltytosoexcellentadaughter,niece,andsister.*Iam,dearSir,
Yourfaithful,humbleservant,WM.MORDEN.
*Thislettercontainsinsubstance--herthankstothegoodwomanforhercareofherinherinfancy;forhergoodinstructions,andtheexcellentexampleshehadsether;withself-accusationsofavanityandpresumption,whichlaylurkinginherheartunknowntoherself,tillhercalamities(obliginghertolookintoherself)broughtthemtolight.
Sheexpatiatesuponthebenefitofafflictionstoamindmodest,fearful,anddiffident.
Shecomfortsheronherearlydeath;havingfinished,asshesays,herprobatorycourse,atsoearlyatimeoflife,whenmanyarenotripenedbythesunshineofDivineGraceforabetter,tilltheyarefifty,sixty,orseventyyearsofage.
Ihope,shesays,thatmyfatherwillgranttherequestIhavemadetohiminmylastwill,toletyoupasstheremainderofyourdaysatmyDairy-house,asitusedtobecalled,whereonceIpromisedmyselftobehappyinyou.Yourdiscretion,prudence,andeconomy,mydear,goodwoman,proceedsshe,willmaleyourpresidingovertheconcernsofthathouseasbeneficialtothemasitcanbeconvenienttoyou.Foryoursake,mydearMrs.Norton,Ihopetheywillmakeyouthisoffer.Andif
theydo,Ihopeyouwillacceptitfortheirs.
Sheremembersherselftoherfoster-brotherinaverykindmanner;andchargesher,forhissake,thatshewillnottaketoomuchtoheartwhathasbefallenher.
Sheconcludesasfollows:
Rememberme,inthelastplace,toallmykindwell-wishersofyouracquaintance;andtothoseIusedtocallMyPoor.TheywillbeGod's
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poor,iftheytrustinHim.Ihavetakensuchcare,thatIhopetheywillnotbelosersbymydeath.Bidthem,therefore,rejoice;anddoyoualso,myreverendcomforterandsustainer,(aswellinmydarkerasinmyfairerdays,)likewiserejoice,thatIamsosoondeliveredfromtheevilsthatwerebeforeme;andthatIamNOW,whenthiscomestoyourhands,asIhumblytrust,exultinginthemerciesofagraciousGod,whohasconductedanendtoallmytemptationsanddistresses;andwho,Imosthumblytrust,will,inhisowngoodtime,giveusajoyfulmeetingintheregionsofeternalblessedness.
LETTERXXX
COLONELMORDEN[INCONTINUATION.]THURSDAYNIGHT,SEPT.14.
Wearejustreturnedfromthesolemnizationofthelastmournfulrite.MycousinJamesandhissister,Mr.andMrs.Hervey,andtheirdaughter,ayoungladywhoseaffectionformydepartedcousinshalleverbindmetoher,mycousinsJohnandAntonyHarlowe,myself,andsomeothermoredistantrelationsofthenamesofFullerandAllinson,(who,totestify
theirrespecttothememoryofthedeardeceased,hadputthemselvesinmourning,)self-invited,attendedit.
Thefatherandmotherwouldhavejoinedintheselasthonours,hadtheybeenable;buttheywerebothverymuchindisposed;andcontinuetobeso.
TheinconsolablemothertoldMrs.Norton,thatthetwomothersofthesweetestchildintheworldoughtnot,onthisoccasion,tobeseparated.Shethereforedesiredhertostaywithher.
Thewholesolemnitywasperformedwithgreatdecencyandorder.ThedistancefromHarlowe-placetothechurchisabouthalfamile.Allthe
waythecorpsewasattendedbygreatnumbersofpeopleofallconditions.
Itwasninewhenitenteredthechurch;everycornerofwhichwascrowded.Suchaprofound,suchasilentrespectdidIneverseepaidatthefuneralofprinces.Anattentivesadnessoverspreadthefaceofall.
TheeulogypronouncedbyMr.Melvillwasaverypatheticone.Hewipedhisowneyesoften,andmadeeverybodypresentstilloftenerwipetheirs.
Theauditorsweremostparticularlyaffected,whenhetoldthem,thatthesolemntextwasherownchoice.
Heenumeratedherfinequalities,namingwithhonourtheirlateworthypastorforhisauthority.
Everyenumeratedexcellencewaswitnessedtoindifferentpartsofthechurchinrespectfulwhispersbydifferentpersons,asoftheirownknowledge,asIhavebeensinceinformed.
Whenhepointedtothepewwhere(doingcredittoreligionbyherexample)sheusedtositorkneel,thewholeauditory,asoneperson,turnedtothepewwiththemostrespectfulsolemnity,asifshehadbeen
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herselfthere.
Whenthegentlemanattributedcondescensionandmingleddignitytoher,abuzzingapprobationwasgiventotheattributethroughoutthechurch;andapoor,neatwomanundermypewadded,'Thatshewasindeedallgraciousness,andwouldspeaktoanybody.'
Manyeyesranoverwhenhementionedhercharities,herwell-judgedcharities.Andherrewardwasdecreedfromeverymouthwithsighsandsobsfromsome,andthesewordsfromothers,'Thepoorwilldearlymissher.'
ThecheerfulgiverwhomGodissaidtolove,wasallowedtobeher:andayounglady,Iamtold,said,ItwasMissClarissaHarlowe'scaretofindouttheunhappy,uponasuddendistress,beforethesighingheartwasoverwhelmedbyit.
Shehadasetofpoorpeople,chosenfortheirremarkablehonestyandineffectualindustry.Thesevoluntarilypaidtheirlastattendanceontheirbenefactress;andminglinginthechurchastheycouldcrowdneartheaislewherethecorpsewasonstands,itwasthelesswonderthatherpraisesfromthepreachermetwithsuchgeneralandsuchgratefulwhispersofapprobation.
Some,itseemstherewere,who,knowingherunhappystory,remarkeduponthedejectedlooksofthebrother,andthedrownedeyesofthesister!'Owhatwouldtheynowgive,they'dwarrant,hadtheynotbeensohard-hearted!'--Otherspursued,asImaysay,theseverefatherandunhappymotherintotheirchambersathome--'Theyansweredfortheirrelenting,nowthatitwastoolate!--Whatmustbetheirgrief!--Nowondertheycouldnotbepresent!'
Severalexpressedtheirastonishment,aspeopledoeveryhour,'thatamancouldlivewhomsuchperfectionscouldnotengagetobejusttoher;'--tobehumaneImaysay.Andwho,herrankandfortuneconsidered,couldbesodisregardfulofhisowninterest,hadhehadnoothermotivetobejust!--
Thegooddivine,ledbyhistext,justtouchedupontheunhappystepthatwasthecauseofheruntimelyfate.Heattributedittothestateofthingsbelow,inwhichtherecouldnotbeabsoluteperfection.Heverypolitelytoucheduponthenobledisdainsheshowed(thoughearnestlysolicitedbyawholesplendidfamily)tojoininterestswithamanwhomshefoundunworthyofheresteemandconfidence:andwhocourtedherwiththeutmostearnestnesstoacceptofhim.
Whathemostinsisteduponwas,thehappyendshemade;andthencedrewconsolationtoherrelations,andinstructiontotheauditory.
Inaword,hisperformancewassuchasheightenedthereputationwhichhe
hadbeforeinaveryeminentdegreeobtained.
Whenthecorpsewastobecarrieddownintothevault,(averyspaciousone,withinthechurch,)therewasgreatcrowdingtoseethecoffin-lid,andthedevicesuponit.Particularlytwogentlemen,muffledupinclokes,pressedforward.These,itseems,wereMr.MullinsandMr.Wyerley;bothofthemprofessedadmirersofmydearcousin.
Whentheycamenearthecoffin,andcasttheireyesuponthelid,'Inthatlittlespace,'saidMr.Mullins,'isincludedallhumanexcellence!'
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--AndthenMr.Wyerley,unabletocontainhimself,wasforcedtoquitthechurch,andwehearisveryill.
ItissaidthatMr.Solmeswasinaremotepartofthechurch,wrappedroundinahorseman'scoat;andthatheshedtearsseveraltimes.ButIsawhimnot.
Anothergentlemanwasthereincognito,inapewneartheentranceofthevault,whohadnotbeentakennoticeof,butforhisgreatemotionwhenhelookedoverhispew,atthetimethecoffinwascarrieddowntoitslastplace.ThiswasMissHowe'sworthyMr.Hickman.
MycousinsJohnandAntonyandtheirnephewJameschosenottodescendintothevaultamongtheirdepartedancestors.
MissHarlowewasextremelyaffected.Herconscience,aswellasherlove,wasconcernedontheoccasion.Shewouldgodownwiththecorpseofherdear,heronlysister,shesaid;butherbrotherwouldnotpermitit.Andheroverwhelmedeyepursuedthecoffintillshecouldseenomoreofit;andthenshethrewherselfontheseat,andwasnearfaintingaway.
Iaccompanieditdown,thatImightnotonlysatisfymyself,butyou,Sir,herexecutor,thatitwasdeposited,asshehaddirected,atthe
feetofhergrandfather.Mr.Melvillcamedown,contemplatedthelid,andshedafewtearsoverit.Iwassowellsatisfiedwithhisdiscourseandbehaviour,thatIpresentedhimonthesolemnspotwitharingofsomevalue;andthankedhimforhisperformance.
AndhereIlefttheremainsofmybelovedcousin;havingbespokenmyownplacebythesideofhercoffin.
OnmyreturntoHarlowe-place,Icontentedmyselfwithsendingmycomplimentstothesorrowingparents,andretiredtomychamber.NoramIashamedtoown,thatIcouldnothelpgivingwaytoarepeatedfitof
humanity,assoonasIenteredit.Iam,Sir,
Yourmostfaithfulandobedientservant,WM.MORDEN.
P.S.YouwillhavealetterfrommycousinJames,whohopestoprevailuponyoutorelinquishtheexecutorship.Ithasnotmyencouragement.
LETTERXXXI
MR.BELFORD,TOWILLIAMMORDEN,ESQ.SATURDAY,SEPT.16.
DEARSIR,
Ioncehadthoughtstogodownprivately,inorder,disguised,toseethelastsolemnityperformed.Buttherewasnoneedtogivemyselfthismelancholytrouble,sinceyourlastlettersonaturallydescribesall
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thatpassed,thatIhaveeveryscenebeforemyeyes.
Youcrowdme,Sir,methinks,intothesilentslowprocession--nowwiththesacredbier,doIentertheawfulporch;nowmeasureI,withsolemnpaces,thevenerableaisle;now,ambitiousofarelationshiptoher,placedinapewneartotheeye-attractingcoffin,doIlistentothemovingeulogy;now,throughthebuzofgaping,eye-swolncrowds,doIdescendintotheclammyvault,asatrueexecutor,toseethatpartofherwillperformedwithmyowneyes.There,withasoulfilledwithmusing,doInumberthesurroundingmonumentsofmortality,andcontemplatethepresentstillnessofsomanyoncebusyvanities,crowdedallintoonepoorvaultednook,asifthelivinggrudgedroomforthecorpseofthoseforwhich,whenanimated,theearth,theair,andthewaters,couldhardlyfindroom.Thenseeingherplacedatthefeetofhimwhoseearthlydelightshewas;andwho,asIfind,ascribestothepleasureshegavehimtheprolongationofhisownlife;*sighing,andwithavertedface,Iquitthesolemnmansion,thesymboliccoffin,and,forever,thegloryofhersex;andascendwiththose,who,inafewyears,afteraveryshortblazeoflife,willfillupotherspacesofthesamevault,whichnow(whiletheymournonlyforher,whomtheyjointlypersecuted)theypresswiththeirfeet.
*SeeVol.I.LetterV.
Nordoyouraffectingdescriptionspermitmeheretostop;but,ascended,Iminglemytearsandmypraiseswiththoseofthenumerousspectators.Iaccompanytheafflictedmournersbacktotheiruncomfortablemansion;andmakeoneinthegeneralconcertofunavailingwoe;tillretiringasIimagine,astheyretire,likethem,inreality,Igiveuptonewscenesofsolitaryandsleeplessgrief;reflectingupontheperfectionsIhaveseentheendof;andhavingnoreliefbutfromanindignation,whichmakesmeapproveoftheresentmentsofothersagainsttheunhappyman,andthoseequallyunhappyrelationsofher's,towhomtheirreparablelossisowing.
Forgiveme,Sir,thesereflections,andpermitme,withthis,tosendyouwhatyoudeclinedreceivingtillthefuneralwasover.
[Hegiveshimthenanaccountofthemoneyandeffects,whichhesendshimdownbythisopportunity,forthelegateesatHarlowe-place,andinitsneighbourhood;whichhedesireshimtodisposeofaccordingtothewill.
Healsosendshimanaccountofotherstepshehastakeninpursuanceofthewill;anddesirestoknowifMr.Harloweexpectsthedischargeofthefuneral-expensesfromtheeffectsinhishands;andthere-imbursementofthesumsadvancedtothetestatrixsinceher
grandfather'sdeath.]
Theseexpeditiousproceedings,sayshe,willconvinceMr.JamesHarlowethatIamresolvedtoseethewillcompletelyexecuted;andyet,bymymannerofdoingit,thatIdesirenottogiveunnecessarymortificationtothefamily,sinceeverythingthatrelatestothemshallpassthroughyourhands.
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LETTERXXXII
MR.JAMESHARLOWE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.HARLOWE-PLACE,FRIDAYNIGHT,SEPT.15.
SIR,
Ihope,fromthecharactermyworthycousinMordengivesyou,thatyouwillexcusetheapplicationImaketoyou,toobligeawholefamilyinanaffairthatmuchconcernstheirpeace,andcannotequallyconcernanybodyelse.Youwillimmediatelyjudge,Sir,thatthisistheexecutorshipofwhichmysisterhasgivenyouthetroublebyherlastwill.
Weshallallthinkourselvesextremelyobligedtoyou,ifyoupleasetorelinquishthistrusttoourownfamily;thereasonswhichfollowpleadingforourownexpectationofthisfavourfromyou:
First,becausesheneverwouldhavehadthethoughtoftroublingyou,Sir,ifshehadbelievedanyofhernearrelationswouldhavetakenituponthemselves.
Secondly,Iunderstandthatsherecommendstoyouinthewilltotrusttothehonourofanyofourfamily,fortheperformanceofsuchofthearticlesasareofadomesticnature.Weare,anyofus,andallofus,ifyourequestit,willingtostakeourhonoursuponthisoccasion;andallyoucandesire,asamanofhonour,is,thatthetrustbeexecuted.
Wearethemoreconcerned,Sir,towishyoutodeclinethisoffice,becauseofyourshortandaccidentalknowledgeofthedeartestatrix,andlongandintimateacquaintancewiththemantowhomsheowedherruin,andwethegreatestlossanddisappointment(hermanifoldexcellenciesconsidered)thateverbefellafamily.
Youwillallowdueweight,Idaresay,tothisplea,ifyoumakeourcase
yourown;andsomuchthereadier,whenIassureyou,thatyourinterferinginthismatter,somuchagainstourinclinations,(excuse,Sir,myplaindealing,)willveryprobablyoccasionanoppositioninsomepoints,whereotherwisetheremightbenone.
What,therefore,Iproposeis,notthatmyfathershouldassumethistrust;heistoomuchafflictedtoundertakeit--noryetmyself--Imightbethoughttoomuchconcernedininterest;butthatitmightbeallowedtodevolveuponmytwouncles;whoseknownhonour,andwhoseaffectiontothedeardeceased,nobodyeverydoubted;andtheywilltreatwithyou,Sir,throughmycousinMorden,astothepointstheywillundertaketoperform.
Thetroubleyouhavealreadyhadwillwellentitleyoutothelegacyshebequeathsyou,togetherwiththere-imbursementofallthechargesyouhavebeenat,andallowanceofthelegaciesyouhavedischarged,althoughyoushouldnothavequalifiedyourselftoactasanexecutor,asIpresumeyouhavenotyetdone,norwillnowdo.
Yourcompliance,Sir,willobligeafamily,(whohavealreadydistressenoughuponthem,)inthecircumstancethatoccasionsthisapplicationtoyou,andmoreparticularly,Sir,
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Yourmosthumbleservant,JAMESHARLOWE,JUN.
Isendthisbyoneofmyservants,whowillattendyourdispatch.
LETTERXXXIII
MR.BELFORD,TOMR.JAMESHARLOWE,JUN.ESQ.SATURDAY,SEPT.16.
SIR,
Youwillexcusemyplain-dealinginturn:forImustobserve,thatifIhadnotthejustopinionIhaveofthesacrednatureofthisofficeIhaveundertaken,somepassagesintheletteryouhavefavouredmewithwouldconvincemethatIoughtnottoexcusemyselffromactinginit.
Ineedonlynameoneofthem.Youarepleasedtosay,thatyouruncles,ifthetrustberelinquishedtothem,willtreatwithme,throughColonelMorden,astothepointstheywillundertaketoperform.
Permitme,Sir,tosay,thatitisthedutyofanexecutortoseeeverypointperformed,thatcanbeperformed.--NorwillIleavetheperformanceofminetoanyotherpersons,especiallywhereaqualifyingissodirectlyintimated,andwhereallthebranchesofyourfamilyhaveshownthemselves,withrespecttotheincomparablelady,tohavebutonemind.
Youarepleasedtourge,thatsherecommendstometheleavingtothehonourofanyofyourfamilysuchofthearticlesasareofadomesticnature.But,admittingthistobeso,doesitnotimplythattheotherarticlesarestilltoobtainmycare?--Buteventhese,youwillfindbythewill,shegivesnotup;andtothatIreferyou.
Iamsorryforthehintsyougiveofanopposition,where,asyousay,theremightbenone,ifIdidnotinterfere.Iseenot,Sir,whyyouranimosityagainstamanwhocannotbedefended,shouldbecarriedtosuchaheightagainstonewhonevergaveyouoffence;andthisonly,becauseheisacquaintedwiththatman.IwillnotsayallImightsayonthisoccasion.
Astothelegacytomyself,Iassureyou,Sir,thatneithermycircumstancesnormytemperwillputmeuponbeingagainerbytheexecutorship.IshalltakepleasuretotreadinthestepsoftheadmirabletestatrixinallImay;andratherwillincreasethandiminishherpoor'sfund.
Withregardtothetroublethatmayattendtheexecutionofthetrust,Ishallnot,inhonourtohermemory,valuetentimesmorethanthiscangiveme.Ihave,indeedtwootherexecutorshipsonmyhands;buttheysitlightuponme.Andsurvivorscannotbetterormorecharitablybestowtheirtime.
Iconceivethateveryarticle,butthatrelatingtothepoor'sfund,(suchistheexcellenceofthedispositionofthemostexcellentofwomen,)maybeperformedintwomonths'time,atfarthest.
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Occasionsoflitigationoroffenceshallnotproceedfromme.YouneedonlyapplytoColonelMordenwhoshallcommandmeineverythingthatthewillallowsmetoobligeyourfamilyin.Idoassureyou,thatIamasunwillingtoobtrudemyselfuponit,asanyofitcanwish.
IownthatIhavenotyetprovedthewill;norshallIdoittillnextweekatsoonest,thatyoumayhavetimeforamicableobjections,ifsuchyouthinkfittomakethroughtheColonel'smediation.Butletmeobservetoyou,Sir,'Thatanexecutor'spower,insuchinstancesasIhaveexercisedit,isthesamebeforetheprobateasafterit.Hecaneven,withouttakingthatout,commenceanaction,althoughhecannotdeclareuponit:andtheseactsofadministrationmakehimliabletoactionshimself.'IamthereforeveryproperinthestepsIshallhavetakeninpartoftheexecutionofthissacredtrust;andwantnotallowanceontheoccasion.
Permitmetoadd,thatwhenyouhaveperusedthewill,andcoollyconsideredeverything,itismyhope,thatyouwillyourselfbeofopinionthattherecanbenoroomfordisputeoropposition;andthatifyourfamilywilljointoexpeditetheexecution,itwillbethemostnaturalandeasywayofshuttingupthewholeaffair,andtohavedonewithamansocauselessly,astohisownparticular,theobjectofyourdislike,asis,Sir,
Yourveryhumbleservant,(notwithstanding,)JOHNBELFORD.
THEWILL
Towhichthefollowingpreamble,writtenonaseparatepaper,wasStitchedinblacksilk.
TOMYEXECUTOR
'IhopeImaybeexcusedforexpatiating,indiverspartsofthissolemnlastact,uponsubjectsofimportance.ForIhaveheardofsomanyinstancesofconfusionanddisagreementinfamilies,andsomuchdoubtanddifficulty,forwantofabsoluteclearnessinthetestamentsofdepartedpersons,thatIhaveoftenconcluded,(weretheretobenootherreasonsbutthosewhichrespectthepeaceofsurvivingfriends,)thatthislastact,astoitsdesignationandoperation,oughtnottobethelastinitscompositionormaking;butshouldbetheresultofcooldeliberation,and(asismorefrequentlythanjustlysaid)ofasoundmindandmemory;whichtooseldomaretobemetwithbutinsoundhealth.Allpretencesofinsanityofmindarelikewiseprevented,whenatestatorgivesreasonsforwhathewills;allcavilsaboutwordsareobviated;theobligedareassured;andtheyenjoythebenefitforwhomthebenefitwas
intended.HencehaveI,forsometimepast,employedmyselfinpenningdownheadsofsuchadisposition;which,asreasonsoffered,Ihavealteredandaddedto,sothatIwasneverabsolutelydestituteofawill,hadIbeentakenoffeversosuddenly.Theseminutesandimperfectsketchesenabledme,asGodhasgraciouslygivenmetimeandsedateness,todigestthemintotheforminwhichtheyappear.'
I,CLARISSAHARLOWE,now,bystrangemelancholyaccidents,lodgingintheparishofSt.Paul,Covent-garden,beingofsoundandperfectmindand
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memory,asIhopethesepresents,drawnupbymyself,andwrittenwithmyownhand,willtestify,do,[thisseconddayofSeptember,*]intheyearofourLord----,**makeandpublishthismylastwillandtestament,inmannerandformfollowing:
*Ablank,atthewriting,wasleftforthisdate,andfilleduponthisday.SeeVol.VIII.LetterLI.**Thedateoftheyearisleftblankforparticularreasons.
Inthefirstplace,Idesirethatmybodymaylieunburiedthreedaysaftermydecease,ortillthepleasureofmyfatherbeknownconcerningit.Buttheoccasionofmydeathnotadmittingofdoubt,Iwillnot,onanyaccountthatitbeopened;anditismydesire,thatitshallnotbetouchedbutbythoseofmyownsex.
Ihavealwaysearnestlyrequested,thatmybodymightbedepositedinthefamilyvaultwiththoseofmyancestors.Ifitmightbegranted,Icouldnowwish,thatitmightbeplacedatthefeetofmydearandhonouredgrandfather.ButasIhave,byoneveryunhappystep,beenthoughttodisgracemywholelineage,andthereforethislasthonourmayberefusedtomycorpse;inthiscasemydesireis,thatitmaybeinterredinthechurchyardbelongingtotheparishinwhichIshalldie;andthatinthe
mostprivatemanner,betweenthehoursofelevenandtwelveatnight;attendedonlybyMrs.Lovick,andMr.andMrs.Smith,andtheirmaidservant.
Butitismydesire,thatthesamefeesandduesmaybepaidwhichareusuallypaidforthosewhoarelaidinthebestground,asitiscalled,oreveninthechancel.--AndIbequeathfivepoundstobegiven,atthediscretionofthechurch-wardens,totwentypoorpeople,theSundayaftermyinterment;andthiswhetherIshallbeburiedhereorelsewhere.
Ihavealreadygivenverbaldirections,that,afterIamdead,(andlaidoutinthemannerIhaveordered,)Imaybeputintomycoffinassoonaspossible:itismydesire,thatImaynotbeunnecessarilyexposedtothe
viewofanybody;exceptanyofmyrelationsshouldvouchsafe,forthelasttime,tolookuponme.
AndIcouldwish,ifitmightbeavoidedwithoutmakingillwillbetweenMr.Lovelaceandmyexecutor,thattheformermightnotbepermittedtoseemycorpse.Butif,asheisamanveryuncontroulable,andasIamnobody's,heinsistuponviewingherdead,whomheONCEbeforesawinamannerdead,lethisgaycuriositybegratified.Lethimbehold,andtriumphoverthewretchedremainsofonewhohasbeenmadeavictimtohisbarbarousperfidy:butletsomegoodperson,asbymydesire,givehimapaper,whistheisviewingtheghastlyspectacle,containingthesefewwordsonly,--'Gay,cruelheart!beholdheretheremainsoftheonceruined,yetnowhappy,ClarissaHarlowe!--Seewhatthouthyselfmust
quicklybe;--andREPENT!--'
Yet,toshowthatIdieinperfectcharitywithalltheworld,IdomostsincerelyforgiveMr.Lovelacethewrongshehasdoneme.
Ifmyfathercanpardontheerrorsofhisunworthychild,sofarastosufferhercorpsetobedepositedatthefeetofhergrandfather,asaboverequested,Icouldwish(mymisfortunesbeingsonotorious)thatashortdiscoursebepronouncedovermyremains,beforetheybeinterred.ThesubjectofthediscourseIshalldeterminebeforeIconcludethis
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writing.
Somuchwrittenaboutwhatdeservesnottheleastconsideration,andaboutwhatwillbenothingwhenthiswritingcomestobeopenedandread,willbeexcused,whenmypresentunhappycircumstancesandabsencefromallmynaturalfriendsareconsidered.
Andnow,withregardtotheworldlymatterswhichIshalldiepossessedof,aswellastothosewhichofrightappertaintome,eitherbythewillofmysaidgrandfather,orotherwise;thusdoIdisposeofthem.
Inthefirstplace,IgiveandbequeathalltherealestatesinortowhichIhaveanyclaimortitlebythesaidwill,tomyever-honouredfather,JamesHarlowe,Esq.andthatratherthantomybrotherandsister,towhomIhadoncethoughtsofdevisingthem,because,iftheysurvivemyfather,thoseestateswillassuredlyvestinthem,oroneofthem,byvirtueofhisfavourandindulgence,asthecircumstancesofthingswithregardtomarriage-settlements,orotherwise,mayrequire;or,astheymayrespectivelymeritbythecontinuanceoftheirduty.
Thehouse,latemygrandfather's,calledTheGrove,andbyhim,inhonourofme,andofsomeofmyvoluntaryemployments,myDairy-house,andthe
furniturethereofasitnowstands(thepicturesandlargeironchestofoldplateexcepted,)Ialsobequeathtomysaidfather;onlybeggingitasafavourthathewillbepleasedtopermitmydearMrs.Nortontopasstheremainderofherdaysinthathouse;andtohaveandenjoytheapartmentsinitknownbythenameofTheHousekeeper'sApartments,withthefurnitureinthem;andwhich,(plainandneat)wasboughtformebymygrandfather,whodelightedtocallmehishouse-keeper;andwhich,therefore,inhislife-time,Iusedassuch:theofficetogowiththeapartments.AndasIamthemoreearnestinthisrecommendation,asIhadoncethoughttohavebeenveryhappytherewiththegoodwoman;andbecauseIthinkherprudentmanagementwillbeasbeneficialtomyfather,ashisfavourcanbeconvenienttoher.
Butwithregardtowhathasaccruedfromthatestate,sincemygrandfather'sdeath,andtothesumofninehundredandseventypounds,whichprovedtobethemoietyofthemoneythatmysaidgrandfatherhadbyhimathisdeath,andwhichmoietyhebequeathedtomeformysoleandseparateuse,[ashedidtheothermoietyinlikemannertomysister;*]andwhichsum(thatImightconvincemybrotherandsisterthatIwishednotforanindependenceuponmyfather'spleasure)Igaveintomyfather'shands,togetherwiththemanagementandproduceofthewholeestatedevisedtome--thesesums,howeverconsiderablewhenputtogether,IhopeImaybeallowedtodisposeofabsolutely,asmyloveandgratitude(notconfinedonlytomyownfamily,whichisverywealthyinallitsbranches)maywarrant:andwhichthereforeIshalldisposeofinthemannerhereaftermentioned.Butitismywillandexpressdirection,
thatmyfather'saccountoftheabove-mentionedproducemaybetakenandestablishedabsolutely(andwithoutcontraventionorquestion,)asheshallbepleasedtogiveittomycousinMorden,ortowhomelseheshallchoosetogiveit;soasthatthesaidaccountbenotsubjecttolitigation,ortothecontroulofmyexecutor,orofanyotherperson.
*SeeVol.I.LetterXIII.
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Myfather,ofhisloveandbounty,waspleasedtoallowmethesamequarterlysumsthatheallowedmysisterforapparelandotherrequisites;and(pleasedwithmethen)usedtosay,thatthosesumsshouldnotbedeductedfromtheestateandeffectsbequeathedtomebymygrandfather:buthavingmortallyoffendedhim(asIfearitmaybesaid)byoneunhappystep,itmaybeexpectedthathewillreimbursehimselfthosesums--itisthereforemywillanddirection,thatheshallbeallowedtopayandsatisfyhimselfforallsuchquarterlyorothersums,whichhewassogoodastoadvancemefromthetimeofmygrandfather'sdeath;andthathisaccountofsuchsumsshalllikewisebetakenwithoutquestioningthemoney,however,whichIleftbehindmeinmyescritoire,beingtobetakeninpartofthosedisbursements.
Mygrandfather,who,inhisgoodnessandfavourtome,knewnobounds,waspleasedtobequeathtomeallthefamilypicturesathislatehouse,someofwhichareverymasterlyperformances;withcommand,thatifIdiedunmarried,orifmarriedandhadnodescendants,theyshouldthengotothatsonofhis(ifmorethanoneshouldbethenliving)whomIshouldthinkwouldsetmostvaluebythem.Now,asIknowthatmyhonoureduncle,Mr.JohnHarlowe,Esq.waspleasedtoexpresssomeconcernthattheywerenotlefttohim,aseldestson;andashehasagallerywheretheymaybeplacedtoadvantage;andasIhavereasontobelievethathewillbequeaththemtomyfather,ifhesurvivehim,who,nodoubt,willleavethemtomybrother,Ithereforebequeathallthesaidfamily
picturestomysaiduncle,JohnHarlowe.Inthesepictures,however,Iincludenotoneofmyown,drawnwhenIwasaboutfourteenyearsofage;whichIshallhereafterinanotherarticlebequeath.
Mysaidhonouredgrandfatherhavingagreatfondnessfortheoldfamilyplate,whichhewouldneverpermittobechanged,havinglived,asheusedtoday,toseeagreatdealofitcomeintorequestagainintherevolutionoffashions;andhavingleftthesametome,withacommandtokeepitentire;andwithpoweratmydeathtobequeathittowhomsoeverIpleasedthatIthoughtwouldforwardhisdesire;whichwas,asheexpressesit,thatitshouldbekepttotheendoftime;thisfamilyplate,whichisdepositedinalargeironchest,inthestrongroomathislatedwelling-house,Ibequeathentiretomyhonoureduncle
AntonyHarlowe,Esq.withthesameinjunctionswhichwerelaidonme;notdoubtingbuthewillconfirmandstrengthenthembyhisownlastwill.
Ibequeathtomyever-valuedfriend,Mrs.JudithNorton,towhosepietyandcare,secondingthepietyandcareofmyever-honouredandexcellentmother,Iowe,morallyspeaking,thequalificationswhich,foreighteenyearsofmylife,mademebelovedandrespected,thefullsumofsixhundredpounds,tobepaidherwithinthreemonthsaftermydeath.
Ibequeathalsotothesamegoodwomanthirtyguineas,formourningforherandforherson,myfoster-brother.
ToMrs.DorothyHervey,theonlysisterofmyhonouredmother,Ibequeath
thesumoffiftyguineasforaring;andIbegofhertoacceptofmythankfulacknowledgementsforallhergoodnesstomefrommyinfancy;andparticularlyforherpatiencewithme,intheseveralaltercationsthathappenedbetweenmybrotherandsisterandme,beforemyunhappydeparturefromHarlowe-place.
Tomykindandmuchvaluedcousin,MissDollyHervey,daughterofmyauntHervey,Ibequeathmywatchandequipage,andmybestMechlinandBrusselshead-dressesandruffles;alsomygownandpetticoatoffloweredsilverofmyownwork;whichhavingbeenmadeupbutafewdaysbeforeI
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wasconfinedtomychamber,Ineverwore.
TothesameyoungladyIbequeathlikewisemyharpsichord,mychamber-organ,andallmymusic-books.
Asmysisterhasaveryprettylibrary;andasmybelovedMissHowehasalsoherlatefather'saswellasherown;Ibequeathallmybooksingeneral,withthecasestheyarein,tomysaidcousinDollyHervey.Astheyarenotill-chosenforawoman'slibrary,Iknowthatshewilltakethegreaterpleasureinthem,(whenherfriendlygriefismellowedbytimeintoaremembrancemoresweetthanpainful,)becausetheyweremine;andbecausethereareobservationsinmanyofthemofmyownwriting;andsomeveryjudiciousones,writtenbythetrulyreverendDr.Lewen.
Ialsobequeathtothesameyoungladytwenty-fiveguineasforaring,tobeworninremembranceofhertruefriend.
IfIlivenottoseemyworthycousin,WilliamMorden,Esq.Idesiremyhumbleandgratefulthanksmaybegiventohimforhisfavoursandgoodnesstome;andparticularlyforhisendeavourstoreconcilemyotherfriendstome,atatimewhenIwasdoubtfulwhetherhewouldforgivemehimself.Asheisingreatcircumstances,Iwillonlybegofhimtoacceptoftwoorthreetrifles,inremembranceofakinswomanwhoalwayshonouredhimasmuchashelovedher.Particularly,ofthatpieceof
flowerswhichmyuncleRobert,hisfather,wasveryearnesttoobtain,inordertocarryitabroadwithhim.
Idesirehimlikewisetoacceptofthelittleminiaturepicturesetingold,whichhisworthyfathermademesitfortothefamousItalianmasterwhomhebroughtoverwithhim;andwhichhepresentedtome,thatImightbestowit,ashewaspleasedtosay,uponthemanwhomIshouldbeonedaymostinclinedtofavour.
TothesamegentlemanIalsobequeathmyrosediamondring,whichwasapresentfromhisgoodfathertome;andwillbethemorevaluabletohimonthataccount.
IhumblyrequestMrs.AnnabellaHowe,themotherofmydearMissHowe,toacceptofmyrespectfulthanksforallherfavoursandgoodnesstome,whenIwassofrequentlyavisitertoherbeloveddaughter;andofaringoftwenty-fiveguineasprice.
Mypictureatfulllength,whichisinmylategrandfather'scloset,(exceptedinanarticleabovefromthefamilypictures,)drawnwhenIwasnearfourteenyearsofage;aboutwhichtimemydearMissHoweandIbegantoknow,todistinguish,andtoloveoneanothersodearly--Icannotexpresshowdearly--Ibequeathtothatsisterofmyheart:ofwhosefriendship,aswellinadversityasprosperity,whenIwasdeprivedofallothercomfortandcomforters,Ihavehadsuchinstances,asthatourlovecanonlybeexceededinthatstateofperfection,inwhichI
hopetorejoicewithherhereafter,toalleternity.
Ibequeathalsotothesamedearfriendmybestdiamondring,which,withotherjewels,isintheprivatedrawerofmyescritoire:asalsoallmyfinishedandframedpiecesofneedle-work;theflower-pieceexcepted,whichIhavealreadybequeathedtomycousinMorden.
Thesepieceshaveallbeentakendown,asIhaveheard;*andmyrelationswillhavenohearttoputthemupagain:butifmygoodmotherchoosestokeepbackanyonepiece,(theabovecapitalpiece,asitiscalled,
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excepted,)notknowingbutsometimehenceshemaybearthesightofit;Iexceptthatalsofromthisgeneralbequest;anddirectittobepresentedtoher.
*SeeVol.III.LetterLV.
Mywhole-lengthpictureintheVandyketaste,*thatusedtohanginmyownparlour,asIwaspermittedtocallit,IbequeathtomyauntHervey,exceptmymothershouldthinkfittokeepitherself.
*Ibid.
IbequeathtotheworthyCharlesHickman,Esq.thelocket,withtheminiaturepictureoftheladyhebestloves,whichIhaveconstantlyworn,andshallcontinuetowearnextmyhearttilltheapproachofmylasthour.*Itmustbethemostacceptablepresentthatcanbemadehim,nexttothehandofthedearoriginal.'And,OmydearMissHowe,letitnotbelongbeforeyoupermithisclaimtothelatter--forindeedyouknownotthevalueofavirtuousmindinthatsex;andhowpreferablesuchamindistoonedistinguishedbythemoredazzlingflightsof
unrulywit;althoughthelatterweretobejoinedbythatspeciousoutwardappearancewhichtoo--toooftenattractsthehastyeye,andsusceptibleheart.'
*SeeLetterII.ofthisvolume.
Permitme,mydearfriends,thissolemnapostrophe,inthislastsolemnact,toayoungladysodeservedlydeartome!
ImakeitmyearnestrequesttomydearMissHowe,thatshewillnotputherselfintomourningforme.ButIdesireheracceptanceofaringwith
myhair;andthatMr.Hickmanwillalsoacceptofthelike;eachofthevalueoftwenty-fiveguineas.
IbequeathtoLadyBettyLawrance,andtohersister,LadySarahSadleir,andtotherighthonourableLordM.andtotheirworthynieces,MissCharlotteandMissMarthaMontague,eachanenamelledring,withacipherCl.H.withmyhairincrystal,androundtheinsideofeach,theday,month,andyearofmydeath:eachring,withbrilliants,tocosttwentyguineas.AndthisasasmalltokenofthegratefulsenseIhaveofthehonouroftheirgoodopinionsandkindwishesinmyfavour;andoftheirtrulynobleoffertmeofaveryconsiderableannualprovision,whentheyapprehendedmetobeentirelydestituteofany.
TothereverendandlearnedDr.ArthurLewen,bywhoseinstructionsIhavebeenequallydelightedandbenefited,Ibequeathtwentyguineasforaring.IfitshouldpleaseGodtocallhimtoHimselfbeforehecanreceivethissmallbequest,itismywillthathisworthydaughtermayhavethebenefitofit.
IntokenofthegratefulsenseIhaveofthecivilitiespaidmebyMrs.andMissHowe'sdomestics,fromtimetotime,inmyvisitsthere,Ibequeaththirtyguineas,tobedividedamongthem,astheirdearyoungmistressshallthinkproper.
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Toeachofmyworthycompanionsandfriends,MissBiddyLloyd,MissFannyAlston,MissRachelBiddulph,andMissCartrightCampbell,Ibequeathfiveguineasforaring.
Tomylatemaidservant,HannahBurton,anhonest,faithfulcreature,wholovedme,reverencedmymother,andrespectedmysister,andneversoughttodoanythingunbecomingofhercharacter,Ibequeaththesumoffiftypounds,tobepaidwithinonemonthaftermydecease,shelabouringunderillhealth:andifthatill-healthcontinue,IcommendherforfartherassistancetomygoodMrs.Norton,tobeputuponmypoor'sfund,hereaftertobementioned.
Tothecoachman,groom,andtwofootmen,andfivemaids,atHarlowe-place,Ibequeathtenpoundseach;tothehelperfivepounds.
Tomysister'smaid,BettyBarnes,Ibequeathtenpounds,toshowthatIresentnoformerdisobligations;whichIbelievewereowingmoretotheinsolenceofoffice,andtonaturalpertness,thantopersonalillwill.
Allmywearing-apparel,ofwhateversort,thatIhavenotbeenobligedtopartwith,orwhichisnotalreadybequeathed,(mylinenexcepted,)IdesireMrs.Nortontoacceptof.
Thetrunksandboxesinwhichmyclothesaresealedup,Idesiremaynotbeopened,butinpresenceofMrs.Norton(orofsomeonedeputedbyher)andofMrs.Lovick.
TotheworthyMrs.Lovick,above-mentioned,fromwhomIhavereceivedgreatcivilities,andevenmaternalkindnesses;andtoMrs.Smith(withwhomIlodge)fromwhomalsoIhavereceivedgreatkindnesses;Ibequeathallmylinen,andallmyunsoldlaces;tobedividedequallybetweenthem,astheyshallagree;or,incaseofdisagreement,thesametobesold,andthemoneyarisingtobeequallysharedbythem.
AndIbequeathtothesamegoodgentlewomen,asafurthertokenofmythankfulacknowledgementsoftheirkindloveandcompassionateconcern
forme,thesumoftwentyguineaseach.
ToMr.Smith,thehusbandofMrs.Smithabove-named,Ibequeaththesumoftenguineas,inacknowledgementofhiscivilitiestome.
ToKatharine,thehonestmaidservantofMrs.Smith,towhom(havingnoservantofmyown)Ihavebeentroublesome,Ibequeathfiveguineas;andtenguineasmore,inlieuofasuitofmywearing-apparel,whichonce,withsomelinen,Ithoughtofleavingtoher.Withthisshemaypurchasewhatmaybemoresuitabletoherlikinganddegree.
Tothehonestandcarefulwidow,AnneShelburne,mynurse,overandaboveherwages,andthecustomaryperquisitesthatmaybelongtoher,I
bequeaththesumoftenguineas.Hereisacareful,and(topersonsofsuchhumanityandtenderness)amelancholyemployment,attendedinthelatterpartoflifewithgreatwatchingandfatigue,whichishardlyeverenoughconsidered.
ThefewbooksIhaveatmypresentlodgings,IdesireMrs.Lovicktoacceptof;andthatshebepermitted,ifsheplease,totakeacopyofmybookofmeditations,asIusedtocallit;beingextractsfromthebestofbooks;whichsheseemedtoapproveof,althoughsuitedparticularlytomyowncase.Asforthebookitself,perhapsmygoodMrs.Nortonwillbe
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gladtohaveit,asitiswrittenwithmyownhand.
Inthemiddledrawerofmyescritoire,atHarlowe-place,aremanyletters,andcopiesofletters,putupaccordingtotheirdates,whichIhavewrittenorreceivedinacourseofyears(eversinceIlearnedtowrite)fromandtomygrandfather,myfatherandmother,myuncles,mybrotherandsister,onoccasionallittleabsences;mylateuncleMorden,mycousinMorden;Mrs.Norton,andMissHowe,andotherofmycompanionsandfriends,beforemyconfinementatmyfather's:asalsofromthethreereverentgentlemen,Dr.Blome,Mr.Arnold,andMr.Tomkins,nowwithGod,andtheveryreverendDr.Lewen,onserioussubjects.Astheselettersexhibitacorrespondencethatnopersonofmysexneedtobeashamedof,allowingforthetimeoflifewhenminewerewritten;andasmanyexcellentthingsarecontainedinthosewrittentome;andasMissHowe,towhommostofthemhavebeencommunicated,wishedformerlytohavethem,ifshesurvivedme:forthesereasons,Ibequeaththemtomysaiddearfriend,MissAnnaHowe;andtherather,asshehadforsomeyearspastaveryconsiderableshareinthecorrespondence.
Idoherebymake,constitute,andordainJohnBelford,ofEdgware,inthecountyofMiddlesex,Esq.thesoleexecutorofthismylastwillandtestament;havingpreviouslyobtainedhisleavesotodo.IhavegiventhereasonswhichinducedmetoaskthisgentlemantotakeuponhimthistroubletoMissHowe.Ithereforerefertoheronthissubject.
ButIdomostearnestlybegofhimthesaidMr.Belford,that,intheexecutionofhistrust,hewill(ashehasrepeatedlypromised)studiouslyendeavourtopromotepeacewith,andsuppressresentmentsin,everyone;sothatallfarthermischiefsmaybeprevented,aswellfrom,asto,hisfriend.And,inordertothis,IbeseechhimtocultivatethefriendshipofmyworthycousinMorden;who,asIpresumetohope,(whenheunderstandsittobemydyingrequest,)willgivehimhisadviceandassistanceineveryarticlewhereitmaybenecessary:andwhowillperhapsbesogoodastointerposewithmyrelations,ifanydifficultyshouldariseaboutcarryingoutsomeofthearticlesofthismylastwillintoexecution,andtosoftenthemintothewished-forcondescension:--foritismyearnestrequesttoMr.Belford,thathewillnotseekby
law,orbyanysortofviolence,eitherbywordordeed,toextorttheperformancefromthem.Iftherebeanyarticlesofamerelydomesticnature,thatmyrelationsshallthinkunfittobecarriedintoexecution;sucharticlesIleaveentirelytomysaidcousinMordenandMr.Belfordtovary,ortotallydispensewith,astheyshallagreeuponthematter;or,iftheytwodifferinopinion,theywillbepleasedtobedeterminedbyathirdperson,tobechosenbythemboth.
HavingbeenpressedbyMissHoweandhermothertocollecttheparticularsofmysadstory,andgivenexpectationthatIwould,inordertodomycharacterjusticewithallmyfriendsandcompanions;butnothavingtimebeforemeforthepainfultask;ithasbeenapleasureformetofind,byextractskindlycommunicatedtomebymysaidexecutor,that
ImaysafelytrustmyfametothejusticedonemebyMr.Lovelace,inhisletterstohimmysaidexecutor.AndasMr.Belfordhasengagedtocontributewhatisinhispowertowardsacomplimenttobemadeofallthatrelatestomystory,andknowsmywholemindinthisrespect;itismydesire,thathewillcausetwocopiestobemadeofthiscollection;onetoremainwithMissHowe,theotherwithhimself;andthathewillshoworlendhiscopy,ifrequired,tomyauntHervey,forthesatisfactionofanyofmyfamily;butundersuchrestrictionsasthesaidMr.Belfordshallthinkfittoimpose;thatneitheranyotherperson'ssafetymaybeendangered,norhisownhonoursuffer,bythe
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communication.
Ibequeathtomysaidexecutorthesumofonehundredguineas,asagrateful,thoughinsufficientacknowledgmentofthetroublehewillbeatintheexecutionofthetrusthehassokindlyundertaken.Idesirehimlikewisetoacceptoftwentyguineasforaring:andthathewillreimbursehimselfforallthechargesandexpenseswhichheshallbeatintheexecutionofthistrust.
IntheworthyDr.H.Ihavefoundaphysician,afather,andafriend.Ibegofhim,asatestimonyofmygratitude,toacceptoftwentyguineasforaring.
IhavethesameobligationstothekindandskilfulMr.Goddard,whoattendedmeasmyapothecary.HisverymoderatebillIhavedischargeddowntoyesterday.Ihavealwaysthoughtitincumbentupontestatorstoshortenalltheycanthetroubleoftheirexecutors.IknowIunder-ratethevalueofMr.Goddard'sattendances,whenoverandabovewhatmayaccruefromyesterday,tothehourthatwillfinishall,Idesirefifteenguineasforaringmaybepresentedtohim.
TotheReverendMr.----,whofrequentlyattendedme,andprayedbymeinmylaststages,Ialsobequeathfifteenguineasforaring.
Thereareasetofhonest,indigentpeople,whomIusedtocallMyPoor,andtowhomMrs.Nortonconveysreliefeachmonth,(oratshorterperiods,)inproportiontotheirnecessities,fromasumIdepositedinherhands,andfromtimetotimerecruited,asmeansaccruedtome;butnownearly,ifnotwholly,expended:now,thatmyfaultmaybeaslittleaggravatedaspossible,bythesufferingsoftheworthypeoplewhomHeavengavemeahearttorelieve;andastheproduceofmygrandfather'sestate,(includingthemoietyofthesumshehadbyhim,andwaspleasedtogiveme,athisdeath,asabovementioned,)togetherwithwhatIshallfurtherappropriatetothesameuseinthesubsequentarticles,will,asIhope,morethananswerallmylegaciesandbequests;itismywillanddesire,thattheremainder,beitlittleormuch,shallbecomeafundtobeappropriated,andIherebydirectthatitbeappropriated,tothelike
purposeswiththesumswhichIputintoMrs.Norton'shands,asaforesaid--andthisunderthedirectionandmanagementofthesaidMrs.Norton,whoknowsmywholemindinthisparticular.Andincaseofherdeath,orofherdesiretobeacquittedofthemanagementthereof,itismyearnestrequesttomydearMissHowe,thatshewilltakeituponherself,andthatatherowndeathshewilltransferwhatshallremainundisposedofatthetime,tosuchpersons,andwithsuchlimitations,restrictions,andprovisoes,assheshallthinkwillbestanswermyintention.For,astothemanagementanddistributionofalloranypartofit,whileinMrs.Norton'shands,orherown,Iwillthatitbeentirelydiscretional,andwithoutaccount,eithertomyexecutororanyotherperson.
AlthoughMrs.Norton,asIhavehinted,knowsmywholemindinthis
respect;yetitmaybepropertomention,inthissolemnlastact,thatmyintentionis,thatthisfundbeentirelysetapartandappropriatedtorelievetemporarily,fromtheinterestthereof,(asIdaresayitwillbeputouttothebestadvantage,)orevenfromtheprincipal,ifneedbe,thehonest,industrious,labouringpooronly;whensickness,lameness,unforeseenlosses,orotheraccidents,disablethemfromfollowingtheirlawfulcallings;ortoassistsuchhonestpeopleoflargefamiliesasshallhaveachildofgoodinclinationstoputouttoservice,trade,orhusbandry.
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Ithasalwaysbeenarulewithme,inmylittledonations,toendeavourtoaidandsetforwardthesoberandindustriouspoor.Smallhelps,ifseasonablyafforded,willdoforsuch;andsothefundmaybeofmoreextensivebenefit;anoceanofwealthwillnotbesufficientfortheidleanddissolute:whom,therefore,sincetheywillalwaysbeinwant,itwillbenocharitytorelieve,ifworthiercreatureswould,byrelievingtheothers,bedeprivedofsuchassistanceasmaysetthewheelsoftheirindustrygoing,andputtheminasphereofusefulaction.
Butitismyexpresswillanddirection,thatletthisfundcomeouttobeeversoconsiderable,itshallbeappliedonlyinsupportofthetemporaryexigenciesofthepersonsIhavedescribed;andthatnoonefamilyorpersonreceivefromit,atonetime,orinoneyear,morethanthesumoftwentypounds.
Itismywillanddesire,thatthesetofjewelswhichwasmygrandmother's,andpresentedtome,soonafterherdeath,bevalued;andtheworthofthempaidtomyexecutor,ifanyofmyfamilychoosetohavethem;orotherwise,thattheyshouldbesold,andgototheaugmentationofmypoor'sfund.--Butiftheymaybedeemedanequivalentforthesumsmyfatherwaspleasedtoadvancetomesincethedeathofmygrandfather,Idesirethattheymaybegiventohim.
Ipresume,thatthediamondnecklace,solitaire,andbuckles,whichwere
properlymyown,presentedbymymother'suncle,SirJosias,Brookland,willnotbepurchasedbyanyoneofmyfamily,foratooobviousreason:inthiscaseIdesirethattheymaybesenttothebestadvantage,andapplythemoneytotheusesofmywill.
Inthebeginningofthistediouswriting,Ireferredtothelatterpartofit,thenamingofthesubjectofthediscoursewhichIwishedmightbedeliveredatmyfuneral,ifpermittedtobeinterredwithmyancestors.Ithinkthefollowingwillbesuitabletomycase.Ihopethealterationofthewordsherandshe,forhimandhe,maybeallowable.
'Letnotherthatisdeceivedtrustinvanity;forvanityshallbeherrecompense.Sheshallbeaccomplishedbefore
hertime;andherbranchshallnotbegreen.Sheshallshakeoffherunripegrapeasthevine,andshallcutoffherflowerastheolive.'*
*Jobxv.31,32,33.
ButifIamtobeinterredintown,letonlytheusualburial-servicebereadovermycorpse.
Ifmybodybepermittedtobecarrieddown,Ibequeathtenpoundstobegiventothepooroftheparish,atthediscretionofthechurch-wardens,
withinafortnightaftermyinterment.
Ifanynecessarymatterbeomittedinthismywill,orifanythingappeardoubtfulorcontradictory,aspossiblymaybethecase;sincebesidesmyinexperienceinthesematters,Iamnow,atthistime,veryweakandill,havingputoffthefinishinghandalittletoolong,inhopesofobtainingthelastforgivenessofmyhonouredfriend;inwhichcaseIshouldhaveacknowledgedthefavourwithasuitablewarmthofduty,andfilledupsomeblankswhichIlefttotheverylast,*inamoreagreeablemannertomyselfthannowIhavebeenenabledtodo--incaseof
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suchomissionsandimperfections,IdesirethatmycousinMordenwillbesogoodastojoinwithMr.Belfordinconsideringthem,andincomparingthemwithwhatIhavemoreexplicitlywritten;andif,afterthat,anydoubtremain,thattheywillbepleasedtoapplytoMissHowe,whoknowsmywholeheart:andIdesirethattheconstructionofthesethreemaybeestablished:andIherebyestablishit,provideditbeunanimous,anddirectittobeputinforce,asifIhadsowrittenanddeterminedmyself.
Andnow,OmyblessedREDEEMER,doI,withalivelyfaith,humblylayholdofthymeritoriousdeathandsufferings;hopingtobewashedcleaninthypreciousbloodfromallmysins:inthebarehopeofthehappyconsequencesofwhich,howlightdothosesufferingsseem(grievousastheywereatthetime)which,Iconfidentlytrust,willbeamean,bythegrace,toworkoutformeamoreexceedingandeternalweightofglory!
CLARISSAHARLOWE.
Signed,sealed,published,anddeclared,thedayandyearabove-written,bythesaidClarissaHarlowe,asherlastwillandtestament;containedinsevensheetsofpaper,allwrittenwithherownhand,andeverysheetsignedandsealedbyherself,inthepresenceof
us,JohnWilliams,ArthurBedall,ElizabethSwanton.
LETTERXXXIV
COLONELMORDEN,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.SAT.SEPT.16.
Ihavebeenemployedinamostmelancholytask:inreadingthewillofthedeardeceased.
TheunhappymotherandMrs.Nortonchosetobeabsentontheaffectingoccasion.ButMrs.Harlowemadeitherearnestrequestthateveryarticleofitshouldbefulfilled.
Theywereallextremelytouchedwiththepreamble.
Thefirstwordsofthewill--'I,ClarissaHarlowe,nowbystrangemelancholyaccidents,lodging,'&c.drewtearsfromsome,sighsfromall.
Thedirectionsforherfuneral,incaseshewereorwerenotpermittedtobecarrieddown;thementionofherordershavingbeengivenforthemannerofherbeinglaidout,andthepresenceofmindsovisiblethroughoutthewhole,obtainedtheiradmiration,expressedbyhandsandeyesliftedup,andbyfallingtears.
WhenIreadthedirection,'Thatherbodywasnottobeviewed,exceptanyofherrelationsshouldvouchsafe,forthelasttime,tolookuponher;'theyturnedaway,andturnedtome,threeorfourtimes
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alternately.Mrs.HerveyandMissArabellasobbed;theuncleswipedtheireyes;thebrotherlookeddown;thefatherwrunghishands.
Iwasobligedtostopatthewords,'Thatshewasnobody's.'
ButwhenIcametotheaddresstobemadetotheaccursedman,'ifhewerenottobedivertedfromseeingherdead,whomONCEbeforehehadseeninamannerdead'----execration,andeithervowsorwishesofrevenge,filledeverymouth.
Thesewerestillmoreferventlyrenewed,whentheycametohearreadherforgivenessofeventhisman.
Youremember,Sir,onourfirstreadingofthewillintown,theobservationsImadeonthefoulplaywhichitisevidenttheexcellentcreaturemetwithfromthisabandonedman,andwhatIsaidupontheoccasion.Iamnotusedtorepeatthingsofthatnature.
Thedearcreature'snoblecontemptofthenothing,asshenoblycallsit,aboutwhichshehadbeengivingsuchparticulardirections,towit,herbody;andherapologizingfortheparticularityofthosedirectionsfromthecircumstancesshewasin--hadthesame,andasstronganeffectuponme,aswhenIfirstreadtheanimatedparagraph;and,pointedbymyeye,(byturnscastuponthemall,)affectedthemall.
Whenthearticlewasreadwhichbequeathedtothefatherthegrandfather'sestate,andthereasonassignedforit,(sogenerousandsodutiful,)thefathercouldsitnolonger;butwithdrew,wipinghiseyes,andliftinguphisspreadhandsatMr.JamesHarlowe;whorosetoattendhimtothedoor,asArabellalikewisedid----Allhecouldsay--OSon!Son!--OGirl!Girl!--asifhereproachedthemforthepartstheyhadacted,andputhimuponacting.
Butyet,onsomeoccasions,thisbrotherandsistershowedthemselvestobetruewilldisputants.
Lettongueandeyesexpresswhattheywill,Mr.Belford,thefirst
readingofawill,whereapersondiesworthanythingconsiderable,generallyaffordsatruetestoftherelations'lovetothedeceased.
Theclothes,thethirtyguineasformourningtoMrs.Norton,withtherecommendationofthegoodwomanforhousekeeperatTheGrove,werethoughtsufficient,hadthearticleof600£.whichwascalledmonstrous,beenomitted.Someotherpassagesinthewillwerecalledflights,andsuchwhimsiesasdistinguishpeopleofimaginationfromthoseofjudgment.
MycousinDollyHerveywasgrudgedthelibrary.MissHarlowesaid,Thatassheandhersisterneverboughtthesamebooks,shewouldtakethattoherself,andwouldmakeituptohercousinDollyonewayorother.
Iintend,Mr.Belford,tosaveyouthetroubleofinterposing--thelibraryshallbemycousinDolly's.
Mrs.Herveycouldhardlykeepherseat.Onthisoccasion,however,sheonlysaid,Thatherlatedearandeverdearniece,wastoogladtoherandhers.But,atanothertime,shedeclared,withtears,thatshecouldnotforgiveherselfforalettershewrote,*lookingatMissArabella,whom,itseems,unknowntoanybody,shehadconsultedbeforeshewroteitandwhich,shesaid,musthavewoundedaspirit,thatnowshesawhad
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beentoodeeplywoundedbefore.
*SeeVol.III.LetterLII.
OmyAunt,saidArabella,nomoreofthat!--Whowouldhavethoughtthatthedearcreaturehadbeensuchapenitent?
Mr.JohnandMr.AntonyHarloweweresomuchaffectedwiththearticlesintheirfavour,(bequeathedtothemwithoutawordorhintofreproachorrecrimination,)thattheybrokeoutintoself-accusations;andlamentedthattheirsweetniece,astheycalledher,wasnotgotaboveallgratefulacknowledgementandreturns.Indeed,themutualupbraidingsandgriefofallpresent,uponthosearticlesinwhicheveryonewasrememberedforgood,soofteninterruptedme,thatthereadingtookupabovesixhours.Butcursesupontheaccursedmanwerearefugetowhichtheyoftenresortedtoexoneratethemselves.
Howwoundingathing,Mr.Belford,isagenerousandwell-distinguishedforgiveness!Whatrevengecanbemoreeffectual,andmorenoble,wererevengeintended,andwereitwishedtostrikeremorseintoaguiltyorungratefulheart!Butmydearcousin'smotiveswerealldutyandlove.Sheseemsindeedtohavebeen,asmuchasamortalcouldbe,LOVEitself.
Lovesublimedbyapurity,byatruedelicacy,thathardlyanywomanbeforehercouldboastof.OMr.Belford,whatanexamplewouldshehavegivenineverystationoflife,(aswife,mother,mistress,friend,)hadherlotfallenuponamanblessedwithamindlikeherown!
The600£.bequeathedtoMrs.Norton,thelibrarytoMissHervey,andtheremembrancestoMissHowe,werenottheonlyarticlesgrudged.Yettowhatpurposedidtheyregretthepecuniarybequests,whenthepoor'sfund,andnotthemselves,wouldhavehadthebenefit,hadnotthoselegaciesbeenbequeathed?
Butenoughpassedtoconvincemethatmycousinwasabsolutelyrightinherchoiceofanexecutoroutofthefamily.Hadshechosenoneinit,
Idaresaythatherwillwouldhavebeennomoreregardedthanifithadbeenthewillofadeadking;thanthatofLousiXIV.inparticular;soflagrantlybrokenthroughbyhisnephewtheDukeofOrleansbeforehewascold.Theonlywillofthatmonarch,perhaps,whichwaseverdisputed.
ButlittledoesMr.JamesHarlowethinkthat,whileheisgraspingathundreds,hewill,mostprobably,losethousands,ifhebemysurvivor.Amanofaspiritsoselfishandnarrowshallnotbemyheir.
Youwillbetterconceive,Mr.Belford,thanIcanexpress,howmuchtheyweretouchedatthehintthatthedearcreaturehadbeenobligedtopartwithsomeofherclothes.
SilentreproachseizedeveryoneofthemwhenIcametothepassagewhereshementionsthatshedeferredfillingupsomeblanks,inhopesofreceivingtheirlastblessingandforgiveness.
Iwillonlyadd,thattheycouldnotbeartohearreadtheconcludingpart,sosolemnlyaddressedtoherRedeemer.Theyallarosefromtheirseats,andcrowdedoutoftheapartmentwewerein;andthen,asIafterwardsfound,separated,inordertoseekthatconsolationinsolitaryretirement,which,thoughtheycouldnothopeforfromtheirownreflections,yet,atthetime,theyhadlessreasontoexpectineach
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other'scompany.Iam,Sir,
Yourfaithfulandobedientservant,WILLIAMMORDEN.
LETTERXXXV
MR.BELFORD,TOTHERIGHTHON.LORDM.LONDON,SEPT.14.
MYLORD,
IamveryapprehensivethattheaffairbetweenMr.LovelaceandthelateexcellentMissClarissaHarlowewillbeattendedwithfartherbadconsequences,notwithstandingherdyinginjunctionstothecontrary.Iwould,therefore,humblyproposethatyourLordship,andhisotherrelations,willforwardthepurposeyourkinsmanlatelyhadtogoabroad;whereIhopehewillstaytillallisblownover.Butashewillnotstir,ifheknewthetruemotivesofyourwishes,theavowedinducement,asIhintedoncetoMr.Mowbray,maybesuchasrespectshisownhealthbothofpersonandmind.ToMr.MowbrayandMr.Tourvilleallcountries
arealike;andtheyperhapswillaccompanyhim.Iamgladtohearthatheisinawayofrecovery;butthistheratherinducesmetopressthematter.Ithinknotimeshouldbelost.
YourLordshiphadheadthatIhavethehonourtobetheexecutorofthisadmirablelady'slastwill.Itranscribefromitthefollowingparagraph.
[Hethentranscribesthearticlewhichsogratefullymentionsthisnobleman,andtheladiesofhisfamily,inrelationtotheringsshebequeathsthem,aboutwhichhedesirestheircommands.]
LETTERXXXVI
MISSMONTAGUE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.M.HALL,FRIDAY,SEPT.15.
SIR,
MyLordhavingthegoutinhisrighthand,hisLordship,andLadySarah,andLadyBetty,havecommandedmetoinformyou,that,beforeyourletter
came,Mr.Lovelacewaspreparingforaforeigntour.Weshallendeavourtohastenhimawayonthemotivesyousuggest.
Weareallextremelyaffectedwiththedearlady'sdeath.LadyBettyandLadySarahhavebeenindisposedeversincetheyheardofit.Theyhadpleasedthemselves,ashadmysisterandself,withthehopesofcultivatingheracquaintanceandfriendshipafterhewasgoneabroad,uponherownterms.Herkindremembranceofeachofushasrenewed,thoughitcouldnotheighten,ourregretsforsoirreparablealoss.WeshallorderMr.Finch,ourgoldsmith,towaitonyou.Hehasour
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directionsabouttherings.Theywillbelong,longworninmemoryofthedeartestatrix.
Everybodyisassuredthatyouwilldoallinyourpowertopreventfartherillconsequencesfromthismelancholyaffair.MyLorddesireshiscomplimentstoyou.Iam,Sir,
Yourhumbleservant,CH.MONTAGUE.
*************************
Thiscollectionhavingrunintoamuchgreaterlengththanwaswished,itispropertoomitseverallettersthatpassedbetweenColonelMorden,MissHowe,Mr.Belford,andMr.Hickman,inrelationtotheexecutionofthelady'swill,&c.
Itis,however,necessarytoobserve,onthissubject,thattheunhappymother,beingsupportedbythetwouncles,influencedtheafflictedfathertoover-ruleallhisson'sobjections,andtodirectaliteralobservationofthewill;andatthesametimetogiveupallthesumswhichhewasempoweredbyittoreimbursehimself;asalsototakeupon
himselftodefraythefuneralexpenses.Mr.BelfordsomuchobligesMissHowebyhissteadiness,equity,anddispatch,andbyhisreadinesstocontributetothedirectedcollection,thatshevoluntarilyenteredintoacorrespondencewithhim,astherepresentativeofherbelovedfriend.Inthecourseofwhich,hecommunicatedtoher(inconfidence)theletterswhichpassedbetweenhimandMr.Lovelace,and,byColonelMorden'sconsent,thosewhichpassedbetweenthatgentlemanandhimself.
Hesent,withthefirstparcelofletterswhichhehadtranscribedoutofshort-handforMissHowe,alettertoMr.Hickman,datedthe16thofSeptember,inwhichheexpresseshimselfasfollows:
'ButIought,Sir,inthisparceltohavekeptoutoneletter.ItisthatwhichrelatestotheinterviewbetweenyourselfandMr.Lovelace,atMr.Dormer's,*inwhichMr.Lovelacetreatsyouwithanairoflevity,whichneitheryourperson,yourcharacter,noryourcommission,deserved;butwhichwashisusualwayoftreatingeveryonewhosebusinesshewasnotpleasedwith.Ihope,Sir,youhavetoomuchgreatnessofmindtobedisturbedatthecontentsofthisletter,shouldMissHowecommunicatethemtoyou;andtherather,asitisimpossiblethatyoushouldsufferwithheronthataccount.'
*SeeVol.VII.LetterXXVIII.
Mr.BelfordthenexcusesMr.Lovelaceasagood-naturedmanwithallhisfaults;andgivesinstancesofhisstillgreaterfreedomswithhimself.
TothisMr.Hickmananswers,inhisletterofthe18th:
'AstoMr.Lovelace'streatmentofmeintheletteryouarepleasedtomention,Ishallnotbeconcernedatit,whateveritbe.Iwenttohimpreparedtoexpectoddbehaviourfromhim;andwasnotdisappointed.I
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arguetomyself,inallsuchcasesasthis,asMissHowe,fromherever-dearfriend,argues,Thatifthereflectionsthrownuponmearejust,Ioughtnotonlytoforgivethem,butendeavourtoprofitbythem;ifunjust,thatIoughttodespisethem,andthereflectortoo,sinceitwouldbeinexcusabletostrengthenbyangeranenemywhosemalicemightbedisarmedbycontempt.And,moreover,Ishouldbealmostsorrytofindmyselfspokenwellofbyamanwhocouldtreat,ashetreated,aladywhowasanornamenttohersexandtohumannature.
'Ithankyou,however,Sir,foryourconsiderationformeinthisparticular,andforyourwholeletter,whichgivesmesodesirableaninstanceofthefriendshipwhichyouassuredmeofwhenIwaslastintown;andwhichIascordiallyembraceaswishtocultivate.'
MissHowe,inher'softhe20th,acknowledgingthereceiptoftheletters,andpapers,andlegacies,sentwithMr.Belford'slettertoMr.Hickman,assureshim,'Thatnouseshallbemadeofhiscommunications,butwhatheshallapproveof.'
Hehadmentioned,withcompassion,thedistressesoftheHarlowefamily--'Personsofapitifulnature,saysshe,maypitythem.Iamnotoneofthose.You,Ithink,pitytheinfernalmanlikewise;whileI,frommyheart,grudgehimhisphrensy,becauseitdepriveshimofthatremorse,which,Ihope,inhisrecovery,willneverleavehim.Attimes,Sir,let
metellyou,thatIhateyourwholesexforhissake;evenmenofunblamablecharacters,whom,atthosetimes,IcannotbutlookuponaspersonsIhavenotyetfoundout.
'Ifmydearcreature'spersonaljewelsbesentuptoyouforsale,IdesirethatImaybethepurchaserofthem,atthehighestprice--ofthenecklaceandsolitaireparticularly.
'Oh!whattearsdidtheperusalofmybeloved'swillcostme!--ButImustnottouchupontheheart-piercingsubject.Icanneithertakeitup,norquitit,butwithexecrationofthemanwhomalltheworldmustexecrate.'
Mr.Belford,inhisanswer,promisesthatsheshallbethepurchaserofthejewels,iftheycomeintohishands.
HeacquaintsherthatthefamilyhadgivenColonelMordenthekeysofallthatbelongedtothedeardeparted;thattheunhappymotherhad(asthewillallows)orderedapieceofneedleworktobesetasideforher,andhaddesiredMrs.Nortontogetthelittlebookofmeditationstranscribed,andtoletherhavetheoriginal,asitwasallofherdeardaughter'shand-writing;andasitmight,whenshecouldbeartolookintoit,administerconsolationtoherself.AndthatshehadlikewisereservedforherselfherpictureintheVandyketaste.
Mr.BelfordsendswiththislettertoMissHowethelady'smemorandum
book,andpromisestosendhercopiesoftheseveralposthumousletters.HetellsherthatMr.Lovelacebeingupontherecovery,hehadenclosedtheposthumousletterdirectedforhimtoLordM.thathisLordshipmightgiveittohim,ornot,asheshouldfindhecouldbearit.Thefollowingisacopyofthatletter:
TOMR.LOVELACETHURSDAY,AUG.24.
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Itoldyou,intheletterIwrotetoyouonTuesdaylast,*thatyoushouldhaveanothersentyouwhenIhadgotintomyfather'shouse.
*Seeherletter,enclosedinMr.Lovelace's,No.LIV.ofVol.VII.
Thereadermayobserve,bythedateofthisletter,thatitwaswrittenwithintwodaysoftheallegoricalone,towhichitrefers,andwhiletheladywaslabouringundertheincreasedillnessoccasionedbythehurriesandterrorsintowhichMr.Lovelacehadthrownher,inordertoavoidthevisithewassoearnesttomakeheratMr.Smith's;soearlywritten,perhaps,thatshemightnotbesurprisedbydeathintoaseemingbreachofherword.
Highasherchristianspiritsoarsinthisletter,thereaderhasseen,inVol.VIII.LetterLXIV.andinotherplaces,thatthatexaltedspiritcarriedhertostillmoredivineelevations,asshedrewnearertoherend.
Ipresumetosay,thatIamnow,atyourreceivingofthis,arrivedthere;andIinviteyoutofollowme,assoonasyouarepreparedforsogreatajourney.
Nottoallegorizefarther--myfateisnow,atyourperusalofthis,accomplished.Mydoomisunalterablyfixed;andIameitheramiserableorhappybeingtoalleternity.Ifhappy,IoweitsolelytotheDivinemercy;ifmiserable,toyourundeservedcruelty.--Andconsidernot,foryourownsake,gay,cruel,fluttering,unhappyman!consider,whetherthebarbarousandperfidioustreatmentIhavemetwithfromyouwasworthythehazardofyourimmortalsoul;sinceyourwickedviewswerenottobeeffectedbutbythewilfulbreachofthemostsolemnvowsthateverweremadebyman;andthoseaidedbyaviolenceandbasenessunworthyofahumancreature.
Intimethen,oncemore,Iwishyoutoconsideryourways.Yourgoldendreamcannotlonglast.Yourpresentcoursecanyieldyoupleasureno
longerthanyoucankeepoffthoughtorreflection.Ahardenedinsensibilityistheonlyfoundationonwhichyourinwardtranquillityisbuilt.Whenonceadangeroussicknessseizesyou;whenonceeffectualremorsebreaksinuponyou;howdreadfulwillbeyourcondition!Howpooratriumphwillyouthenfindit,tohavebeenable,byaseriesofblackperjuries,andstudiedbaseness,underthenameofgallantryorintrigue,tobetraypoorunexperiencedyoungcreatures,whoperhapsknewnothingbuttheirdutytilltheyknewyou!--Notonegoodactioninthehouroflanguishingtorecollect,notoneworthyintentiontorevolve,itwillbeallreproachandhorror;andyouwillwishtohaveitinyourpowertocompoundforannihilation.
Reflect,Sir,thatIcanhavenoothermotive,inwhatIwrite,thanyour
good,andthesafetyofotherinnocentcreatures,whomaybedrawninbyyourwickedartsandperjuries.Youhavenot,inmywishesforfuturewelfare,thewishesofasuppliantwife,endeavouringforherownsake,aswellasforyour's,toinduceyoutoreformthoseways.Theyarewhollyasdisinterestedasundeserved.ButIshouldmistrustmyownpenitence,wereIcapableofwishingtorecompenseevilforevil--if,blackasyouroffenceshavebeenagainstme,Icouldnotforgive,asIwishtobeforgiven.
Irepeat,therefore,thatIdoforgiveyou.AndmaytheAlmightyforgive
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youtoo!NorhaveI,atthewritingofthis,anyotheressentialregretsthanwhatareoccasionedbythegriefIhavegiventoparents,who,tillIknewyou,werethemostindulgentofparents;bythescandalgiventotheotherbranchesofmyfamily;bythedisreputationbroughtuponmysex;andbytheoffencegiventovirtueinmyfall.
Astomyself,youhaveonlyrobbedmeofwhatonceweremyfavouriteexpectationsinthetransientlifeIshallhavequittedwhenyoureceivethis.YouhaveonlybeenthecausethatIhavebeencutoffinthebloomofyouth,andofcurtailingalifethatmighthavebeenagreeabletomyself,orotherwise,ashadreasontobethankfulforbeingtakenawayfromtheevilofsupportingmypartofayokewithamansounhappy;Iwillonlysay,that,inallprobability,everyhourIhadlivedwithhimmighthavebroughtwithitsomenewtrouble.AndIam(indeedthroughsharpafflictionsanddistresses)indebtedtoyou,secondarily,asIhumblypresumetohope,forsomanyyearsofglory,asmighthaveprovedyearsofdanger,temptation,andanguish,hadtheybeenaddedtomymortallife.
So,Sir,thoughnothankstoyourintention,youhavedonemerealservice;and,inreturn,Iwishyouhappy.Butsuchhasbeenyourlifehitherto,thatyoucanhavenotimetoloseinsettingaboutyourrepentance.Repentancetosuchashavelivedonlycarelessly,andintheomissionoftheirregularduties,andwhoneveraimedtodrawanypoor
creaturesintoevil,isnotsoeasyatask,norsomuchinourownpower,assomeimagine.Howdifficultagracethentobeobtained,wheretheguiltispremeditated,wilful,andcomplicated!
TosayIoncerespectedyouwithapreference,iswhatIoughttoblushtoown,since,attheverytime,Iwasfarfromthinkingyouevenamortalman;thoughIlittlethoughtthatyou,orindeedanymanbreathing,couldbe--whatyouhaveprovedyourselftobe.But,indeed,Sir,Ihavelongbeengreatlyaboveyou;forfrommyheartIhavedespisedyou,andallyourways,eversinceIsawwhatmannerofmanyouwere.
NorisittobewonderedthatIshouldbeablesotodo,whenthat
preferencewasnotgroundedonignoblemotives.ForIwasweakenough,andpresumptuousenough,tohopetobeamean,inthehandofProvidence,toreclaimamanwhomIthoughtworthyoftheattempt.
NorhaveIyet,asyouwillseebythepainsItake,onthissolemnoccasion,toawakenyououtofyoursensualdream,givenoverallhopesofthisnature.
Hearme,therefore,OLovelace!asonespeakingfromthedead.--Losenotime--setaboutyourrepentanceinstantly--benolongertheinstrumentofSatan,todrawpoorsoulsintothosesubtilesnares,whichatlastshallentangleyourownfeet.Seeknottomultiplyyouroffencestilltheybecomebeyondthepower,asImaysay,oftheDivinemercytoforgive;
sincejustice,nolessthanmercy,isanattributeoftheAlmighty.
Trembleandreform,whenyoureadwhatistheportionofthewickedmanfromGod.Thusitiswritten:
'Thetriumphingofthewickedisshort,andthejoyofthehypocritebutforamoment.Heiscastintoanetbyhisownfeet--hewalkethuponasnare.Terrorsshallmakehimafraidoneveryside,andshalldrivehimtohisfeet.Hisstrengthshallbehunger-bitten,anddestructionshallbereadyathisside.Thefirstbornofdeathshalldevourhisstrength.
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Hisremembranceshallperishfromtheearth;andheshallhavenonameinthestreets.Heshallbechaced[sic]outoftheworld.Heshallhaveneithersonnornephewamonghispeople.Theythathaveseenhimshallsay,Whereishe?Heshallflyawayasadream:Heshallbechasedawayasavisionofthenight.Hismeatisthegallofaspswithinhim.Heshallfleefromtheironweapon,andthebowofsteelshallstrikehimthrough.Afirenotblownshallconsumehim.Theheavenshallrevealhisiniquity,andtheearthshallriseupagainsthim.Thewormshallfeedsweetlyonhim.Heshallbenomoreremembered.--ThisisthefateofhimthatknowethnotGod.'
Wheneveryoushallbeinclinedtoconsultthesacredoraclesfromwhencetheabovethreateningsareextracted,youwillfinddoctrinesandtextswhichatrulypenitentandcontriteheartmaylayholdofforitsconsolation.
Mayyour's,Mr.Lovelace,becomesuch!andmayyoubeenabledtoescapethefatedenouncedagainsttheabandonedman,andbeentitledtothemerciesofalongsufferingandgraciousGod,isthesincereprayerof
CLARISSAHARLOWE
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LETTERXXXVII
MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.M.HALL,THURSDAY,SEPT.14.
Eversincethefatalseventhofthismonth,Ihavebeenlosttomyself,andtoallthejoysoflife.Imighthavegonefartherbackthanthatfatalseventh;which,forthefuture,Iwillneverseeanniversarilyrevolvebutinsables;onlytillthatcurseddayIhadsomegleamsofhopenow-and-thendartinginuponme.
TheytellmeofanoddletterIwrotetoyou.*IrememberIdidwrite.ButverylittleofthecontentsofwhatIwrotedoIremember.
*SeehisdeliriousLetter,No.XXIII.
Ihavebeeninacursedway.Methinkssomethinghasbeenworkingstrangelyretributive.IneverwassuchafoolastodisbelieveaProvidence;yetamInotforresolvingintojudgmentseverythingthatseemstowearanavengingface.Yetifwemustbepunishedeitherhereorhereafterforourmisdeeds,betterhere,sayI,thanhereafter.Have
InotthenaninteresttothinkmypunishmentalreadynotonlybegunbutcompletedsincewhatIhavesuffered,anddosuffer,passesalldescription?
Togivebutoneinstanceoftheretributive--hereI,whowasthebarbarouscauseofthelossofsensesforaweektogethertothemostinimitableofwomen,havebeenpunishedwiththelossofmyown--preparativeto--whoknowswhat?--When,Oh!when,shallIknowajoyfulhour?
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Iamkeptexcessivelylow;andexcessivelylowIam.Thissweetcreature'sposthumouslettersticksclosetome.Allherexcellenciesriseuphourlytomyremembrance.
YetdareInotindulgeinthesemelancholyreflections.Ifindmyheadstrangelyworkingagain--Pen,begone!
FRIDAY,SEPT.15.
Iresume,inasprightlyvein,Ihope--MowbrayandTourvillehavejustnow--
ButwhatofMowbrayandTourville?--What'stheworld?--What'sanybodyinit?--
Yettheyarehighlyexasperatedagainstthee,forthelastletterthouwrotesttothem*--suchanunfriendly,suchamerciless--
*ThisLetterappearsnot.
Butitwon'tdo!--Imustagainlaydownmypen.--OBelford!Belford!
Iamstill,Iamstillmostmiserablyabsentfrommyself!--Shallnever,nevermorebewhatIwas!
***
Saturday--Sunday--Nothingdone.Incapableofanything.
MONDAY,SEPT.18.
Heavy,d--n--yheavyandsickatsoul,byJupiter!Imustcomeinto
theirexpedient.Imustseewhatchangeofclimatewilldo.
Youtellthesefellows,andyoutellme,ofrepentingandreforming;butIcandoneither.Hewhocan,mustnothavetheextinctionofaClarissaHarlowetoanswerfor.--Harlowe!--Curseuponthename!--andcurseuponmyselffornotchangingit,asImighthavedone!--YetIhavenoneedofurgingacurseuponmyself--Ihaveiteffectually.
'TosayIoncerespectedyouwithapreference!'*--Inwhatstifflanguagedoesmaidenlymodestyontheseniceoccasionexpressitself!--TosayIoncelovedyou,istheEnglish;andthereistruthandeaseintheexpression.--'TosayIoncelovedyou,'thenletitbe,'iswhatIoughttoblushtoown.'
*SeeLetterXXXVI.ofthisvolume.
Anddostthouownit,excellentcreature?--anddostthouthenownit?--Whatmusicinthesewordsfromsuchanangel!--WhatwouldIgivethatmyClarissawereinbeing,andcouldandwouldownthatshelovedme?
'But,indeed,Sir,Ihavebeenlonggreatlyaboveyou.'Long,myblessed
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charmer!--Long,indeed,foryouhavebeenevergreatlyaboveme,andaboveyoursex,andabovealltheworld.
'Thatpreferencewasnotgroundedonignoblemotives.'
WhatawretchwasI,tobesodistinguishedbyher,andyettobesounworthyofherhopetoreclaimme!
Then,howgeneroushermotives!Notforherownsakemerely,notaltogetherformine,didshehopetoreclaimme;butequallyforthesakeofinnocentswhomightotherwiseberuinedbyme.
Andnow,whydidshewritethisletter,andwhydirectittobegivenmewhenaneventthemostdeplorablehadtakenplace,butformygood,andwithaviewtothesafetyofinnocentssheknewnot?--Andwhenwasthisletterwritten?Wasitnotatthetime,attheverytime,thatIhadbeenpursuingher,asImaysay,fromplacetoplace;whenhersoulwasboweddownbycalamityandpersecution;andherselfwasdeniedallforgivenessfromrelationsthemostimplacable?
Exaltedcreature!--Andcouldstthou,atsuchatime,andsoearly,andinsuchcircumstances,havesofarsubduedthyownjustresentments,astowishhappinesstotheprincipalauthorofallthydistresses?--Wishhappinesstohimwhohadrobbedthee'ofallthyfavouriteexpectations
inthislife?'Tohimwhohadbeenthecausethatthouwertcutoffinthebloomofyouth?'
Heavenlyaspirer!--Whataframemustthoubein,tobeabletousethewordONLY,inmentioningtheseimportantdeprivations!--Andasthiswasbeforethouputtestoffimmortalily,mayInotpresumethatthounow,
----withpityingeye,Notderogatingfromthyperfectbliss,Survey'stallHeav'naround,andwishestforme?
'Considermyways.'--Dearlifeofmylife!Ofwhatavailisconsiderationnow,whenIhavelostthedearcreature,forwhosesake
aloneitwasworthwhiletohaveconsideration?--Lostherbeyondretrieving--swallowedupbythegreedygrave--foreverlosther--that,that'sthething--matchlesswoman,howdoesthisreflectionwoundme!
'Yourgoldendreamcannotlonglast.'--Divineprophetess!mygoldendreamisalreadyover.'Thoughtandreflectionarenolongertobekeptoff.'--Nolongercontinuesthat'hardenedinsensibility'thouchargestuponme.'Remorsehasbrokeninuponme.Dreadfulismycondition;--itisallreproachandhorrorwithme!'--Athousandvulturesinturnarepreyinguponmyheart!
Butnomoreofthesefruitlessreflections--sinceIamincapableofwritinganythingelse;sincemypenwillslideintothisgloomysubject,
whetherIwillornot;Iwilloncemorequitit;norwillIagainresumeit,tillIcanbemoreitsmaster,andmyown.
AllItookpentowriteforishoweverunwritten.Itwas,infewwords,towishyoutoproceedwithyourcommunications,asusual.Andwhyshouldyounot;--since,inherever-to-be-lamenteddeath,Iknoweverythingshockingandgrievous--acquaintme,then,withallthouknowest,whichIdonotknow;howherrelations,hercruelrelations,takeit;andwhethernowthebarbeddartofafter-reflectionsticksnotintheirhearts,asinmine,uptotheveryfeathers.
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***
Iwillsoonquitthiskingdom.FornowmyClarissaisnomore,whatisthereinit(intheworldindeed)worthlivingfor?--ButshallInotfirst,bysomemasterlymischief,avengeherandmyselfuponhercursedfamily?
Theaccursedwoman,theytellme,hasbrokenherleg.Whywasitnotherneck?--All,all,butwhatisowingtoherrelations,isthefaultofthatwoman,andofherhell-bornnymphs.Thegreaterthevirtue,thenoblerthetriumph,wasasentenceforeverintheirmouths.--Ihavehaditseveraltimesinmyheadtosetfiretotheexecrablehouse;andtowatchatthedoorsandwindows,thatnotadevilinitescapetheconsumingflames.Hadthehousestoodbyitself,Ihadcertainlydoneit.
But,itseems,theoldwretchisinthewaytoberewarded,withoutmyhelp.Ashockingletterisreceivedofsomebody'sinrelationtoher--your's,Isuppose--tooshockingforme,theysay,toseeatpresent.*
*SeeLetterXXV.ofthisvolume.
Theygovernmeasachildinstrings;yetdidIsuffersomuchinmyfever,thatIamwillingtobearwiththem,tillIcangettolerablywell.
AtpresentIcanneithereat,drink,norsleep.Yetaremydisordersnothingtowhattheywere;for,Jack,mybrainwasonfiredayandnight;andhaditnotbeenoftheasbestoskind,ithadallbeenconsumed.
Ihadnodistinctideas,butofdarkandconfusedmisery;itwasallremorseandhorrorindeed!--Thoughtsofhanging,drowning,shooting--thenrage,violence,mischief,anddespair,tooktheirturnswithme.My
lucidintervalsstillworse,givingmetoreflectuponwhatIwasthehourbefore,andwhatIwaslikelytobethenext,andperhapsforlife--thesportofenemies!--thelaughteroffools!--andthehanging-sleeved,go-cartedpropertyofhiredslaves;whowere,perhaps,tofindtheiraccountinmanacling,and(abhorredthought!)inpersonallyabusingmebyblowsandstripes!
Whocanbearsuchreflectionsasthese?TObemadetofearonly,tosuchaoneasme,andtofearsuchwretchestoo?--Whatathingwasthis,butremotelytoapprehend!Andyetforamantobeinsuchastateastorenderitnecessaryforhisdearestfriendstosufferthistobedoneforhisownsake,andinordertopreventfurthermischief!--Thereisnothinkingofthesethings!
Iwillnotthinkofthem,therefore;butwilleithergetatrainofcheerfulideas,orhangmyselfbyto-morrowmorning.
----Tobeadog,anddead,Wereparadise,tosuchalifeasmine.
LETTERXXXVIII
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MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.WEDNESDAY,SEPT.20.
Iwritetodemandbackagainmylastletter.IownitwasmymindatthedifferenttimesIwroteit;and,whateverailedme,Icouldnothelpwritingit.Suchagloomyimpulsecameuponme,andincreasedasIwrote,that,formysoul,Icouldnotforbearrunningintothemiserable.
'Tisstrange,verystrange,thataman'sconscienceshouldbeabletoforcehisfingerstowritewhetherhewillornot;andtorunhimintoasubjecthemorethanonce,attheverytime,resolvednottothinkof.
Norisitlessstrange,that(nonewreasonoccurring)heshould,inadayortwomore,sototallychangehismind;havehismind,Ishouldrathersay,sowhollyilluminatedbygayhopesandrisingprospects,astobeashamedofwhathehadwritten.
For,onreperusalofacopyofmyletter,whichfellintomyhandsbyaccident,inthehand-writingofmycousinCharlotte,who,unknowntome,hadtranscribedit,Ifindittobesuchaletterasanenemywouldrejoicetosee.
ThisIknow,thatwereItohavecontinuedbutoneweekmoreinthewayIwasinwhenIwrotethelatterpartofit,Ishouldhavebeenconfined,andinstraw,thenext;forInowrecollect,thatallmydistemperwasreturninguponmewithirresistibleviolence--andthatinspiteofwater-gruelandsoup-meagre.
IownIamstillexcessivelygrievedatthedisappointmentthisadmirablewomanmadeitsomuchherwhimsicalchoicetogiveme.
But,sinceithasthusfallenout;sinceshewasdeterminedtoleavetheworld;andsincesheactuallyceasestobe;oughtI,whohavesuchashareoflifeandhealthinhand,toindulgegloomyreflectionsuponaneventthatispassed;andbeingpassed,cannotberecalled?--HaveInot
hadaspecimenofwhatwillbemycase,ifIdo.
For,Belford,('tisafollytodenyit,)Ihavebeen,touseanoldword,quitebestraught.
Why,whydidmymotherbringmeuptobearnocontroul?WhywasIsoenabled,asthattomyverytutorsitwasarequestthatIshouldnotknowwhatcontradictionordisappointmentwas?--Oughtshenottohaveknownwhatcrueltytherewasinherkindness?
Whatapunishment,tohavemyfirstverygreatdisappointmenttouchmyintellect!--Andintellects,oncetouched--butthatIcannotbeartothinkof--onlythusfar;theveryrepentanceandamendment,wishedmeso
heartilybymykindandcrossdear,havebeeninvalidatedandpostponed,andwhoknowsforhowlong?--theamendmentatleast;canamadmanbecapableofeither?
Oncetouched,therefore,Imustendeavourtobanishthosegloomyreflections,whichmightotherwisehavebroughtontherightturnofmind:andthis,toexpressmyselfinLordM.'sstyle,thatmywitsmaynotbesentawool-gathering.
For,letmemoreoverowntothee,thatDr.Hale,whowasmygoodAstolfo,
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[youreadAriosto,Jack,]andhasbroughtmebackmywit-jar,hadmuchado,bystarving,diet,byprofusephlebotomy,byflaying-blisters,eyelet-hole-cupping,adarkroom,amidnightsolitudeinamiddaysun,toeffectmyrecovery.Andnow,formycomfort,hetellsme,thatImaystillhavereturnsuponfullmoons--horrible!mosthorrible!--andmustbeascarefulofmyselfatbothequinoctials,asCæsarwaswarnedtobeoftheIdesofMarch.
HowmyheartsickensatlookingbackuponwhatIwas!Deniedthesun,andallcomfort:allmyvisiterslow-born,tip-toeattendants:eventhosetip-toeslavesneverapproachingmebutperiodically,armedwithgallipots,boluses,andcephalicdraughts;deliveringtheirorderstomeinhatedwhispers;andansweringothercurtain-holdingimpertinents,inquiringhowIwas,andhowItooktheirexecrablepotions,whisperinglytoo!Whatacursedstilllifewasthis!--Nothingactiveinme,oraboutme,butthewormthatneverdies.
AgainIhastenfromtherecollectionofscenes,whichwill,attimes,obtrudethemselvesuponme.
Adieu,Belford!
Butreturnmemylastletter--andbuildnothinguponitscontents.Imust,Iwill,Ihavealready,overcomethesefruitlessgloominess.Every
hourmyconstitutionrisesstrongerandstrongertobefriendme;and,exceptatributarysighnow-and-thentothememoryofmyheart'sbeloved,itgivesmehopethatIshallquicklybewhatIwas--life,spirit,gaiety,andoncemoretheplagueofasexthathasbeenmyplague,andwillbeeveryman'splagueatonetimeorotherofhislife.Irepeatmydesire,however,thatyouwillwritetomeasusual.Ihopeyouhavegoodstoreofparticularsbyyoutocommunicate,whenIcanbetterbeartohearofthedispositionsthatweremadeforallthatwasmortalofmybelovedClarissa.
Butitwillbethejoyofmyhearttobetoldthatherimplacablefriendsareplaguedwithremorse.Suchthingsasthoseyoumaynowsendme:forcompanyinmiseryissomerelief;especiallywhenamancanthinkthose
hehatesasmiserableashimself.
Onemoreadieu,Jack!
LETTERXXXIX
MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.
Iampreparingtoleavethiskingdom.MowbrayandTourvillepromisetogivemetheircompanyinamonthortwo.
I'llgivetheemyroute.
IshallfirsttoParis;and,forsomeamusementanddiversionsake,trytorenewsomeofmyoldfriendships:thencetosomeoftheGermancourts:thence,perhaps,toVienna:thencedescendthroughBavariaandtheTyroltoVenice,whereIshallkeepthecarnival:thencetoFlorenceandTurin:thenceagainoverMountCenistoFrance:and,whenIreturnagaintoParis,shallexpecttoseemyfriendBelford,who,bythattime,Idoubtnot,willbeallcrustedandbeardedoverwithpenitence,self-denial,
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andmortification;averyanchoret,onlyanitinerantone,journeyingoverinhopetocoveramultitudeofhisownsins,byproselytinghisoldcompanions.
Butletmetellthee,Jack,ifstockriseson,asithasdonesinceIwrotemylastletter,Iamafraidthouwiltfindadifficulttaskinsucceeding,shouldsuchbethypurpose.
Nor,Iverilythink,canthyownpenitenceandreformationhold.Stronghabitsarenotsoeasilyrootedout.OldSatanhashadtoomuchbenefitfromthyfaithfulservices,foraseriesofyears,tolettheesoeasilygetoutofhisclutches.Heknowswhatwilldowiththee.AfinestrappingBonaRoba,intheCharters-taste,butwell-limbed,clear-complexioned,andTurkish-eyed;thouthefirstmanwithher,ormadetobelieveso,whichisthesamething;howwillthyfrostyfacebeilluminatedbyit!Acompositionwillbemadebetweentheeandthegrandtempter:thouwiltpromisetodohimsuitandservicetilloldageandinabilitycome.Andthenwillhe,inallprobability,besureoftheeforever.For,wertthoutooutlivethypresentreigningappetites,hewilltrumpupsomeotherdarlingsin,ormakeanowsecondaryonedarling,inordertokeeptheefirmlyattachedtohisinfernalinterests.Thouwiltcontinueresolvingtoamend,butneveramending,till,grownoldbeforethouartaware,(adozenyearsafterthouartoldwitheverybodyelse,)thyfor-time-builttenementhavinglasteditsallotted
period,heclapsdownuponthygrizzledheadtheuniversaltrap-door:andthenallwillbeoverwiththeeinhisownway.
Thouwiltthinkthesehintsuncharacteristicfromme.ButyetIcannothelpwarningtheeofthedangerthouartactuallyin;whichisthegreater,asthouseemstnottoknowit.Afewwordsmore,therefore,onthissubject.
Thouhastmadegoodresolutions.Ifthoukeepestthemnot,thouwiltneverbeabletokeepany.But,nevertheless,thedevilandthytimeoflifeareagainstthee:andsixtoonethoufailest.Wereitonlythatthouhastresolved,sixtoonethoufailest.Andifthoudost,thouwiltbecomethescoffofmen,andthetriumphofdevils.--ThenhowwillI
laughatthee!Forthiswarningisnotfromprinciple.PerhapsIwishitwere:butIneverliedtoman,andhardlyeversaidtruthtowoman.Thefirsiswhatallfree-liverscannotsay:thesecondwhateveryonecan.
Iammadagain,byJupiter!--But,thankmystars,notgloomilyso!--Farewell,farewell,farewell,forthethirdorfourthtime,concludes
ThyLOVELACE.
IbelieveCharlotteandyouareinprivateleaguetogether.Letters,I
find,havepassedbetweenherandyou,andLordM.Ihavebeenkeptstrangelyinthedarkoflate;butwillsoonbreakuponyouall,asthesunuponamidnightthief.
Rememberthatyouneversentmethecopyofmybeloved'swill.
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MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.FRIDAY,SEPT.22.
JustasIwassittingdowntoansweryour'softhe14thtothe18th,inordertogiveyoualltheconsolationinmypower,cameyourrevokingletterofWednesday.
Iamreallyconcernedanddisappointedthatyourfirstwassosoonfollowedbyonesocontrarytoit.
Theshockingletteryoumention,whichyourfriendswithholdfromyou,isindeedfromme.Theymaynow,Isee,showyouanything.Askthem,then,forthatletter,ifyouthinkitworthwhiletoreadaughtaboutthetruemotherofyourmind.
***
Iwillsupposethatthouhastjustreadtheletterthoucallestshocking,andwhichIintendedtobeso.Andletmeaskwhatthouthinkestofit?Dostthounottrembleatthehorrorsthevilestofwomenlabourswith,ontheapprehensionsofdeath,andfuturejudgment?--Howsitthereflections
thatmusthavebeenraisedbytheperusalofthisletteruponthyyetunclosedeyelet-holes?Willnotsomeseriousthoughtsminglewiththymelilot,andtearoffthecallusofthymind,asthatmayflaytheleatherfromthyback,andasthyepispasticsmaystriptheparchmentfromthyplottinghead?Ifnot,thenindeedisthyconscienceseared,andnohopeswilllieforthee.
[Mr.BelfordthengivesanaccountofthewretchedSinclair'sterribleexit,whichhehadjustthenreceived.]
Ifthismovetheenot,Ihavenewstoacquainttheewith,ofanotherdismalcatastrophethatisbutwithinthishourcometomyear,of
anotherofthyblessedagents.ThyTOMLINSON!--Dying,and,inallprobability,beforethiscanreachthee,dead,inMaidstonegaol.Asthousayestinthyfirstletter,somethingstrangelyretributiveseemstobeworking.
Thisishiscase.Hewasattheheadofagangofsmugglers,endeavouringtocarryoffrungoods,landedlastTuesday,whenapartyofdragoonscameupwiththemintheevening.Someofhiscomradesfled.M'Donald,beingsurrounded,attemptedtofighthiswaythrough,andwoundedhisman;buthavingreceivedashotinhisneck,andbeingcutdeeplyintheheadbyabroad-sword,hefellfromhishorse,wastaken,andcarriedtoMaidstonegaol:andtheremyinformantlefthim,justdying,andassuredofhangingifherecover.
Absolutelydestitute,hegotakinsmanofhistoapplytome,and,ifintown,totherestoftheconfraternity,forsomething,nottosupporthimwastheword,(forheexpectednottolivetillthefellowreturned,)buttoburyhim.
Ineveremployedhimbutonce,andthenheruinedmyproject.InowthankHeaventhathedid.ButIsenthimfiveguineas,andpromisedhimmore,asfromyou,andMowbray,andTourville,ifheliveafewdays,ortotakehistrial.AndIputituponyoutomakefurtherinquiryofhim,
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andtogivehimwhatyouthinkfit.
Hismessengertellsmethatheisverypenitent;thatheweepscontinually.Hecriesout,thathehasbeenthevilestofmen:yetpalliates,thathisnecessitiesmadehimworsethanheshouldotherwisehavebeen;[anexcusewhichnoneofuscanplead:]butthatwhichtoucheshimmostofall,isavileimposturehewasputupon,toserveacertaingentlemanoffortunetotheruinofthemostexcellentwomanthateverlived;andwho,hehadheard,wasdeadofgrief.
Letmeconsider,Lovelace--Whoseturncanbenext?
Iwishitmaynotbethine.Butsincethougivestmeonepieceofadvice,(whichIshouldindeedhavethoughtoutofcharacter,hadstthounottakenpainstoconvincemethatitproceedsnotfromprinciple,)Iwillgivetheeanother:andthatis,prosecute,asfastasthoucanst,thyintendedtour.Changeofscene,andofclimate,mayestablishthyhealth:whilethisgrossairandtheapproachofwinter,maythickenthyblood;andwiththehelpofaconsciencethatisuponthestrugglewiththee,andlikeacunningwrestlerwatchesitsopportunitytogivetheeanotherfall,maymaketheemiserableforthylife.
Ireturnyourrevokedletter.Don'tdestroyit,however.Thesamedialectmayonedaycomeinfashionwithyouagain.
AstothefamilyatHarlowe-place,IhavemostaffectinglettersfromColonelMordenrelatingtotheirgriefandcompunction.Butareyou,towhomtheoccasionisowing,entitledtorejoiceintheirdistress?
Ishouldbesorry,ifIcouldnotsay,thatwhatyouhavewarnedmeofinsport,makesmetrembleinearnest.Ihope,forthisisaserioussubjectwithme,(thoughnothingcanbesowithyou,)thatInevershalldeserve,bymyapostasy,tobethescoffofmen,andthetriumphofdevils.
Allthatyousay,ofthedifficultyofconqueringrootedhabits,isbuttootrue.Those,andtimeoflife,areindeedtoomuchagainstme:but,
whenIreflectupontheends(someuntimely)ofthoseofourcompanionswhomwehaveformerlylost;uponBelton'smiserableexit;uponthehowlsandscreamsofSinclair,whicharestillinmyears;andnowuponyourmiserableTomlinson,andcomparetheirendswiththehappyanddesirableendoftheinimitableMissHarlowe,IhopeIhavereasontothinkmyfootingmorallysecure.Yourcaution,nevertheless,willbeofuse,howeveryoumightdesignit:andsinceIknowmyweakside,Iwillendeavourtofortifymyselfinthatquarterbymarriage,assoonasIcanmakemyselfworthyoftheconfidenceandesteemofsomevirtuouswoman;and,bythismeans,becomethesubjectofyourenvy,ratherthanofyourscoffs.
Ihavealreadybegunmyretributorypurposes,asImaycallthem.Ihave
settledanannualsumforlifeuponpoorJohnLoftus,whomIdisabledwhilehewasendeavouringtoprotecthisyoungmistressfrommylawlessattempts.IrejoicethatIsucceedednotinthat;asIdoinrecollectingmanyothersofthelikesort,inwhichImiscarried.
PoorFarley,whohadbecomeabankrupt,Ihavesetupagain;buthavedeclared,thattheannualallowanceImakehershallcease,ifIhearshereturnstoherformercourses:andIhavemadeheraccountableforherconducttothegoodwidowLovick;whomIhavetaken,atahandsomesalary,formyhousekeeperatEdgware,(forIhaveletthehouseat
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Watford;)andsheistodispensethequarterlyallotmenttoher,asshemerits.
Thisgoodwomanshallhaveothermattersofthelikenatureunderhercare,aswegrowbetteracquainted;andImakenodoubtthatshewillanswermyexpectations,andthatIshallbebothconfirmedandimprovedbyherconversation:forsheshallgenerallysitatmyowntable.
TheundeservedsufferingsofMissClarissaHarlowe,herexaltedmerit,herexemplarypreparation,andherhappyend,willbestandingsubjectswithus.
Sheshallreadtome,whenIhavenocompany;writeforme,outofbooks,passagessheshallrecommend.Heryears(turnedoffifty,)andhergoodcharacter,willsecuremefromscandal;andIhavegreatpleasureinreflectingthatIshallbebettermyselfformakingherhappy.
Then,wheneverIamindanger,Iwillreadsomeoftheadmirablelady'spapers:wheneverIwouldabhormyformerways,Iwillreadsomeofthine,andcopiesofmyown.
Theconsequenceofallthiswillbe,thatIshallbethedelightofmyownrelationsofbothsexes,whowerewonttolookuponmeasalostman.Ishallhavegoodorderinmyownfamily,becauseIshallgiveagood
examplemyself.Ishallbevisitedandrespected,notperhapsbyLovelace,byMowbray,andbyTourville,becausetheycannotseemeupontheoldterms,andwillnot,perhaps,seemeuponthenew,butbythebestandworthiestgentlemen,clergyaswellaslaity,allaroundme.Ishalllookuponmypastfollieswithcontempt:uponmyoldcompanionswithpity.Oathsandcursesshallbeforeverbanishedmymouth:intheirplaceshallsucceedconversationbecomingarationalbeing,andagentleman.Andinsteadofactsofoffence,subjectingmeperpetuallytoactsofdefence,willIendeavourtoatoneformypastevils,bydoingallthegoodinmypower,andbybecominganuniversalbenefactortotheextentofthatpower.
Nowtellme,Lovelace,uponthisfaintsketchofwhatIhopetodo,and
tobe,ifthisbenotaschemeinfinitelypreferabletothewild,thepernicious,thedangerousones,bothtobodyandsoul,whichwehavepursued?
IwishIcouldmakemysketchasamiabletoyouasitappearstome.Iwishitwithallmysoul:forIalwayslovedyou.IthasbeenmymisfortunethatIdid:forthisledmeintoinfiniteriotsandfollies,ofwhich,otherwise,IverilythinkIshouldnothavebeenguilty.
YouhaveagreatdealmoretoanswerforthanIhave,wereitonlyinthetemporalruinofthisadmirablewoman.Letmenow,whileyouyethaveyouth,andhealth,andintellect,prevailuponyou:forIamafraid,verymuchafraid,thatsuchistheenormityofthissinglewickedness,in
deprivingtheworldofsuchashininglight,thatifyoudonotquicklyreform,itwillbeoutofyourpowertoreformatall;andthatProvidence,whichhasalreadygivenyouthefatesofyouragentsSinclairandTomlinsontotakewarningby,willnotlettheprincipaloffenderescape,ifheslightthewarning.
Youwill,perhaps,laughatmefortheseseriousreflections.Do,ifyouwill.Ihadratheryoushouldlaughatme,forcontinuinginthiswayofthinkingandacting,thantriumphoverme,asyouthreaten,onmyswervingfrompurposesIhavedetermineduponwithsuchgoodreason,and
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inducedandwarnedbysuchexamples.
Andsomuchforthissubjectatpresent.
Ishouldbegladtoknowwhenyouintendtosetout.Ihavetoomuchconcernforyourwelfare,nottowishyouinathinnerairandmorecertainclimate.
WhathaveTourvilleandMowbraytodo,thattheycannotsetoutwithyou?Theywillnotcovetmycompany,Idaresay;andIshallnotbeabletoenduretheirs,whenyouaregone:takethem,therefore,withyou.
Iwillnot,however,forswearmakingyouavisitatParis,atyourreturnfromGermanyandItaly:buthardlywiththehopeofreclaimingyou,ifduereflectionuponwhatIhavesetbeforeyou,anduponwhatyouhavewritteninyourtwolast,willnotbythattimehavedoneit.
IsupposeIshallseeyoubeforeyougo.OncemoreIwishyouweregone.Thisheavyisland-aircannotdoforyouwhatthatoftheContinentwill.
IdonotthinkIoughttocommunicatewithyou,asIusedtodo,onthissidetheChannel:letme,then,hearfromyouontheoppositeshore,andyoushallcommandthepen,asyouplease;and,honestly,thepowerof
J.BELFORD.
LETTERXLI
MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.TUESDAY,SEPT.26.
Fate,Ibelieve,inmyconscience,spinsthreadsfortragedies,onpurposefortheetoweavewith.--ThyWatforduncle,poorBelton,thefairinimitable,[exaltedcreature!andisshetobefoundinsucha
list!]theaccursedwoman,andTomlinson,seemedtohavebeenalldoomedtogivetheeathemeforthedismalandthehorrible;--and,bymysoul,thatthoudostworkitgoing,asLordM.wouldphraseit.
That'sthehorridthing,amancannotbegintothink,butcausesforthoughtcrowdinuponhim;thegloomytakesplace,andmirthandgaietyabandonhisheardforever!
PoorM'Donald!--Iamreallysorryforthefellow.--Hewasanuseful,faithful,solemnvarlet,whocouldactincomparablyanypartgivenhim,andknewnotwhatablushwas.--Hereallytookhonestpainsformeinthelastaffair;whichhascosthimandmesodearlyinreflection.Oftengravelled,aswebothwere,yetwasheneverdaunted.--PoorM'Donald!I
mustoncemoresay:--forcarryingonasolemnpieceofroguery,hehadnoequal.
Iwassosolicitoustoknowifhewerereallyasbadasthouhastaknackofpaintingeverybodywhomthousinglestouttoexercisethymurderingpenupon,thatIdispatchedamanandhorsetoMaidstone,assoonasIhadthine;andhadwordbroughtme,thathediedintwohoursafterhehadreceivedthyfiveguineas.Andallthouwrotestofhisconcern,inrelationtotheever-dearMissHarlowe,itseemswastrue.
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Ican'thelpit,Belford!--Ihaveonlytoadd,thatitishappythatthepoorfellowlivednottobehanged;asitseemshewouldhavebeen;forwhoknows,ashehadgotintosuchapenitentialstrain,whatmighthavebeeninhisdyingspeech?
Whenamanhasnotgreatgoodtocomforthimselfwith,itisrighttomakethebestofthelittlethatmayoffer.Thereneverwasanydiscomforthappenedtomortalman,butsomelittlerayofconsolationwoulddartin,ifthewretchwasnotsomuchawretch,astodraw,insteadofundraw,thecurtain,tokeepitout.
Andsomuch,atthistime,andforever,forpoorCapt.Tomlinson,asIcalledhim.
Yoursolicitudetogetmeoutofthisheavychangeableclimateexactlytallieswitheverybody'shere.Theyallbelievethattravellingwillestablishme.YetIthinkIamquitewell.Onlytheseplaguynewsandfulls,andtheequinoctals,frightmealittlewhenIthinkofthem;andthatisalways:forthewholefamilyarecontinuallyringingthesechangesinmyears,andaremoresedulouslyintent,thanIcanwellaccountfor,togetmeoutofthekingdom.
Butwiltthouwriteoften,whenIamgone?Wiltthouthenpiecethethreadwherethoubrokestitoff?Wiltthougivemetheparticularsof
theirdistress,whoweremyauxiliariesinbringingontheeventthataffectsme?--Nay,principalsrather:Since,saywhatthouwilt,whatdidIdoworthawoman'sbreakingherheartfor?
Faithandtroth,Jack,Ihavehadveryhardusage,asIhaveoftensaid:--tohavesuchaplaguyillnamegivenme,screamedoutupon,runawayfrom,asamaddogwouldbe;allmyownfriendsreadytorenounceme!--YetIthinkIdeserveitall;forhaveInotbeenasreadytogiveupmyself,asothersaretocondemnme?
Whatmadness,whatfolly,this!--Whowilltakethepartofamanthatcondemnshimself?--Whocan?--Hethatpleadsguiltytoanindictment,leavesnoroomforaughtbutthesentence.Outuponme,foran
impoliticalwretch!IhavenottheartoftheleastartfulofanyofourChristianprinces;whoeverydayareguiltyoftentimesworsebreachesoffaith;andyet,issuingoutamanifesto,theywipetheirmouths,andgoonfrominfractiontoinfraction,fromrobberytorobbery;commitdevastationupondevastation;anddestroy--fortheirglory!Andarerewardedwiththenamesofconquerors,andaredubbedLeGrand;praised,andevendeified,byoratorsandpoets,fortheirbutcheriesanddepredations.
WhileI,apoor,single,harmlessprowler;atleastcomparativelyharmless;inordertosatisfymyhunger,stealbutonepoorlamb;andeverymouthisopened,everyhandisliftedup,againstme.
Nay,asIhavejustnowheard,Iamtobemanifestoedagainst,thoughnoprince:forMissHowethreatenstohavethecasepublishedtothewholeworld.
Ihaveagoodmindnottoopposeit;andtowriteananswertoit,assoonasitcomesforth,andexculpatemyself,bythrowingallthefaultupontheoldones.AndthisIhavetoplead,supposingallthatmyworstenemiescanallegeagainstmeweretrue,--ThatIamnotanswerableforalltheextravagantconsequencesthatthisaffairhasbeenattendedwith;andwhichcouldnotpossiblybeforeseen.
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AndthisIwillprovedemonstrablybyacase,which,butafewhoursago,IputtoLordM.andthetwoMissesMontague.Thisitis:
SupposeA,amiser,hadhidaparcelofgoldinasecretplace,inordertokeepitthere,tillhecouldlenditoutatextravagantinterest.
SupposeB,insuchagreatwantofthistreasure,astobeunabletolivewithoutit.
AndsupposeA,themiser,hassuchanopinionofB,thewanter,thathewouldratherlendittohim,thantoanymortalliving;butyet,thoughhehasnootheruseintheworldforit,insistsuponveryunconscionableterms.
Bwouldgladlypaycommoninterestforit;butwouldbeundone,(inhisownopinionatleast,andthatiseverythingtohim,)ifhecompliedwiththemiser'sterms;sincehewouldbesuretobesoonthrownintogaolforthedebt,andmadeaprisonerforlife.Whereforeguessing(beinganarch,penetratingfellow)wherethesweethoardlies,hesearchesforit,whenthemiserisinaprofoundsleep,findsit,andrunsawaywithit.
[B,inthiscase,canonlybeathief,that'splain,Jack.]
HereMissMontagueputinverysmartly.--Athief,Sir,saidshe,thatstealswhatisandoughttobedearertomethanmylife,deserveslesstobeforgiventhanhewhomurdersme.
Butwhatisthis,cousinCharlotte,saidI,thatisdearertoyouthanyourlife?Yourhonour,you'llsay--Iwillnottalktoalady(Ineverdid)inawayshecannotanswerme--ButintheinstanceforwhichIputmycase,(allowingallyouattributetothephantom)whathonourislost,wherethewillisnotviolated,andthepersoncannothelpit?But,withrespecttothecaseput,howknewwe,tillthetheftwascommitted,that
themiserdidactuallysetsoromanticavalueuponthetreasure?
Bothmycousinsweresilent;andmyLord,becausehecouldnotanswerme,cursedme;andIproceeded.
Wellthen,theresultis,thatBcanonlybeathief;that'splain.--Topursue,therefore,mycase--
SupposethissamemiserlyA,onawakingandsearchingfor,andfindinghistreasuregone,takesitsomuchtoheartthathestarveshimself;
Whobuthimselfistoblameforthat?--Wouldeitherequity,law,or
conscience,hangBforamurder?
Andnowtoapply,saidI----
Noneofyourapplications,criedmycousins,bothinabreath.
Noneofyourapplications,andbed----dtoyou,thepassionatePeer.
Wellthen,returnedI,Iamtoconcludeittobeacasesoplainthatitneedsnone;lookingatthetwogirls,whotriedforablusha-piece.And
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Iholdmyself,ofconsequence,acquittedofthedeath.
Notso,criedmyLord,[Peersarejudges,thouknowest,Jack,inthelastresort:]forif,bycommittinganunlawfulact,acapitalcrimeistheconsequence,youareanswerableforboth.
Sayyouso,mygoodLord?--Butwillyoutakeuponyoutosay,supposing(asinthepresentcase)arape(savingyourpresence,cousinCharlotte,savingyourpresence,cousinPatty)--Isdeaththenaturalconsequenceofarape?--Didyoueverhear,myLord,ordidyou,Ladies,thatitwas?--Andifnotthenaturalconsequence,andaladywilldestroyherself,whetherbyalingeringdeath,asofgrief;orbythedagger,asLucretiadid;istheremorethanonefaulttheman's?--Isnottheotherher's?--Wereitnotso,letmetellyou,mydears,chuckingeachofmyblushingcousinsunderthechin,weeitherwouldhavehadnomensowickedasyoungTarquinwas,ornowomensovirtuousasLucretia,inthespaceof--Howmanythousandyears,myLord?--AndsoLucretiaisrecordedasasinglewonder!
YoumaybelieveIwascriedoutupon.Peoplewhocannotanswer,willrave:andthistheyalldid.ButIinsisteduponittothem,andsoIdotoyou,Jack,thatIoughttobeacquittedofeverythingbutacommontheft,aprivatelarceny,asthelawyerscallit,inthispoint.Andweremylifetobeaforfeitofthelaw,itwouldnotbeformurder.
Besides,asItoldthem,therewasacircumstancestronglyinmyfavourinthiscase:forIwouldhavebeenglad,withallmysoul,tohavepurchasedmyforgivenessbyacompliancewiththetermsIfirstboggledat.Andthis,youallknow,Ioffered;andmyLord,andLadyBetty,andLadySarah,andmytwocousins,andallmycousins'cousins,tothefourteenthgeneration,wouldhavebeenboundforme--Butitwouldnotdo:thesweetmiserwouldbreakherheart,anddie:AndhowcouldIhelpit?
Uponthewhole,Jack,hadnottheladydied,wouldtherehavebeenhalfsomuchsaidofit,asthereis?WasIthecauseofherdeath?orcouldIhelpit?Andhavetherenotbeen,inamillionofcaseslikethis,ninehundredandninty-ninethousandthathavenotendedasthishas
ended?--Howhard,then,ismyfate!--Uponmysoul,Iwon'tbearitasIhavedone;but,insteadoftakingguilttomyself,claimpity.Andthis(sinceyesterdaycannotberecalled)istheonlycourseIcanpursuetomakemyselfeasy.Proceedanon.
LETTERXLII
MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.
Butwhataprettyschemeoflifehastthoudrawnoutforthyselfandthy
oldwidow!Bymysoul,Jack,Iwasmightilytakenwithit.Thereisbutonethingwantinginit;andthatwillcomeofcourse:onlytobeinthecommission,andoneofthequorum.Thouartalreadyprovidedwithaclerk,asgoodasthou'ltwant,inthewidowLovick;forthouunderstandestlaw,andsheconscience:agoodLordChancellorbetweenye!--Ishouldtakeprodigiouspleasuretoheartheedecideinabastardcase,uponthynewnotionsandoldremembrances.
Butrailleryapart.[Allgloomatheart,byJupiter!althoughthepenandthecountenanceassumeairsoflevity!]If,afterall,thoucanstso
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easilyrepentandreform,asthouthinkestthoucanst:ifthoucanstthusshakeoffthyoldsins,andthyoldhabits:andifthyoldmasterwillsoreadilydismisssotriedandsofaithfulaservant,andpermittheethuscalmlytoenjoythynewsystem;noroomforscandal;alltemptationceasing:andifatlast(thyreformationwarrantedandapprovedbytime)thoumarriest,andlivesthonest:--why,Belford,Icannotbutsay,thatifalltheseIF'scometopass,thoustandestagoodchancetobeahappyman!
AllIthink,asItoldtheeinmylast,is,thatthedevilknowshisowninteresttoowell,tolettheeoffsoeasily.Thouthyselftallestme,thatwecannotrepentwhenwewill.AndindeedIfounditso:for,inmylucidintervals,Imadegoodresolutions:butashealthturneditsblithesidetome,andopenedmyprospectsofrecovery,allmyoldinclinationsandappetitesreturned;andthisletter,perhaps,willbeathoroughconvictiontothee,thatIamaswildafellowasever,orinthewaytobeso.
Thouaskestme,veryseriously,if,uponthefaintsketchthouhastdrawn,thynewschemebenotinfinitelypreferabletoanyofthosewhichwehavesolongpursued?--Why,Jack--Letmereflect--Why,Belford--Ican'tsay--Ican'tsay--butitis.Tospeakout--Itisreally,asBiddyintheplaysays,agoodcomfortablescheme.
Butwhenthoutallestme,thatitwasthymisfortunetoloveme,becausethyvalueformemadetheeawickedermanthanotherwisethouwouldsthavebeen;Idesiretheetorevolvethisassertion:andIampersuadedthatthouwiltnotfindthyselfinsorightatrainasthouimaginest.
Nofalsecolourings,noglosses,doesatruepenitentaimat.Debasement,diffidence,mortification,contrition,areallnearofakin,Jack,andinseparablefromarepentantspirit.Ifthouknowestnotthis,thouartnotgotthreesteps(outofthreescore)towardsrepentanceandamendment.Andletmeremindthee,beforethegrandaccusercometodoit,thatthouwerteverabovebeingapassivefollowerininiquity.Thoughthouhadstnotsogoodaninventionashetowhomthouwritest,thouhadstasactiveanheartformischief,aseverImetwithinman.
Thenforimprovinganhint,thouwertalwaysatrueEnglishman.Ineverstartedaroguery,thatdidnotcomeoutofthyforgeinamannerreadyanvilledandhammeredforexecution,whenIhavesometimesbeenatalosstomakeanythingofitmyself.
Whatindeedmademeappeartobemorewickedthanthouwas,thatIbeingahandsomefellow,andthouanuglyone,whenwehadstartedagame,andhunteditdown,thepoorfrightedpussgenerallythrewherselfintomypaws,ratherthanintothine:andthen,disappointed,hastthouwipedthyblubber-lips,andmarchedofftostartanewgame,callingmeawickedfellowallthewhile.
Inshort,Belford,thouwertanexcellentstarterandsetter.Theoldwomenwerenotafraidfortheirdaughters,whentheysawsuchafaceasthine.But,whenIcame,whipwasthekeyturneduponthegirls.Andyetallsignifiednothing;forlove,uponoccasion,willdrawanelephantthroughakey-hole.ButforthyHEART,Belford,whoeverdoubtedthewickednessofthat?
Noreveninthisaffair,thatsticksmostuponme,whichmyconsciencemakessuchahandleofagainstme,artthousoinnocentasthoufanciestthyself.Thouwiltstareatthis:butitistrue;andIwillconvince
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theeofitinaninstant.
Thousayest,thouwouldsthavesavedtheladyfromtheruinshemetwith.Thouartaprettyfellowforthis:Forhowwouldstthouhavesavedher?Whatmethodsdidstthoutaketosaveher?
Thouknewestmydesignsallalong.Hadstthouamindtomakethyselfagoodtitletothemerittowhichthounowpretendesttolayclaim,thoushouldest,likeatrueknight-errant,havesoughttosettheladyfreefromtheenchantedcastle.Thoushouldsthaveapprizedherofherdanger;havestolenin,whenthegiantwasoutoftheway;or,hadstthouhadthetruespiritofchivalryuponthee,andnothingelsewouldhavedone,havekilledthegiant;andthensomethingwouldstthouhavehadtobragof.
'Oh!butthegiantwasmyfriend:hereposedaconfidenceinme:andIshouldhavebetrayedmyfriend,andhisconfidence!'Thisthouwouldsthavepleaded,nodoubt.Buttrythispleauponthypresentprinciples,andthouwiltseewhatacaitiffthouwerttoletithaveweightwiththee,uponanoccasionwhereabreachofconfidenceismoreexcusablethantokeepthesecret.Didnottheladyherselfonceputthisverypointhomeuponme?Anddidstthounot,onthatoccasion,heavilyblamethyself?*
*SeeVol.VII.LetterXXI.
Thoucanstnotpretend,andIknowthouwiltnot,thatthouwertafraidofthylifebytakingsuchameasure:forabraverfellowlivesnot,noramorefearless,thanJackBelford.Irememberseveralinstances,andthoucanstnotforgetthem,wherethouhastventuredthybones,thyneck,thylife,againstnumbers,inacauseofroguery;andhadstthouhadasparkofthatvirtue,whichnowthouartwillingtoflatterthyselfthouhast,thouwouldstsurelyhaverunarisktosaveaninnocence,andavirtue,thatitbecameeverymantoprotectandespouse.Thisisthetruthofthecase,greatlyasitmakesagainstmyself.ButIhatea
hypocritefrommysoul.
IbelieveIshouldhavekilledtheeatthetime,ifIcould,hadstthoubetrayedmethus.ButIamsurenow,thatIwouldhavethankedtheeforit,withallmyheart;andthoughttheemoreafather,andafriend,thanmyrealfather,andmybestfriend--anditwasnaturalfortheetothink,withsoexaltedameritasthisladyhad,thatthiswouldhavebeenthecase,whenconsiderationtookplaceofpassion;or,rather,whenthed----dfondnessforintrigueceased,whichneverwasmypridesomuch,asitisnow,uponreflection,mycurse.
Setaboutdefendingmyself,andIwillprobetheestilldeeper,andconvincetheestillmoreeffectually,thatthouhastmoreguiltthan
meriteveninthisaffair.Andastoalltheothers,inwhichwewereaccustomedtohuntincouples,thouwertalwaystheforwardestwhelp,andmoreready,byfar,torunawaywithme,thanIwiththee.Yetcanstthounowcomposethyhorse-muscles,andcryout,Howmuchmorehadstthou,Lovelace,toanswerforthanIhave!--Sayingnothing,neither,whenthousayestthis,wereittrue:forthouwiltnotbetried,whenthetimecomes,bycomparison.Inshort,thoumayest,atthisrate,somiserablydeceivethyself,that,notwithstandingallthyself-denialandmortification,whenthouclosestthyeyes,thoumaystperhapsopentheminaplacewherethouthoughtestleasttobe.
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However,consultthyoldwomanonthissubject.Ishallbethoughttobeoutofcharacter,ifIgooninthisstrain.Butreally,astoatitletomeritinthisaffair,Idoassurethee,Jack,thatthoulessdeservestpraisethanahorsepond;andIwishIhadthesousingofthee.
***
Iamactuallynowemployedintakingleaveofmyfriendsinthecountry.IhadoncethoughtoftakingTomlinson,asIcalledhim,withme:buthisdestinyhasfrustratedthatintention.
NextMondayIthinktoseeyouintown;andthenyou,andI,andMowbray,andTourville,willlaughoffthateveningtogether.Theywillbothaccompanyme(asIexpectyouwill)toDover,ifnotcrossthewater.Imustleaveyouandthemgoodfriends.Theytakeextremelyamissthetreatmentyouhavegiventheminyourlastletters.Theysay,youstrikeattheirunderstandings.Ilaughatthem;andtellthem,thatthosepeoplewhohaveleast,arethemostapttobeangrywhenitiscalledintoquestion.
Makeupallthepapersandnarrativesyoucansparemeagainstthetime.
Thewill,particularly,Iexpecttotakewithme.Whoknowsbutthatthosethings,whichwillhelptosecureyouinthewayyouaregotinto,mayconvertme?
Thoutalkestofawife,Jack:WhatthinkestyouofourCharlotte?Herfamilyandfortune,Idoubt,accordingtothyscheme,arealittletoohigh.Willthosebeanobjection?Charlotteisasmartgirl.Forpiety(thypresentturn)Icannotsaymuch:yetsheisasseriousasmostofhersexathertimeoflife--Wouldflauntitalittle,Ibelieve,too,liketherestofthem,wereherreputationundercovert.
Butitwon'tdoneither,nowIthinkofit:--Thouartsohomely,andsoawkwardacreature!Hastsuchaboatswain-likeair!--Peoplewouldthink
shehadpickedtheeupinWapping,orRotherhithe;oringoingtoseesomenewshiplaunched,ortoviewthedocksatChatham,orPortsmouth.Sogaudyandsoclumsy!Thytawdrinesswon'tdowithCharlotte!--Sosittheedowncontented,Belford:althoughIthink,inawhimsicalway,asnow,ImentionedCharlottetotheeoncebefore.*YetwouldIfainsecurethymoralstoo,ifmatrimonywilldoit.--Letmesee!--NowIhaveit.----HasnotthewidowLovickadaughter,oraniece?Itisnoteverygirloffortuneandfamilythatwillgotoprayerswiththeeonceortwiceaday.Butsincethouartfortakingawifetomortifywith,whatifthoumarriestthewidowherself?--Shewillthenhaveadoubleconcerninthyconversation.Youandshemay,têteÃtête,passmanyacomfortablewinter'seveningtogether,comparingexperiences,asthegoodfolkscallthem.
*SeethePostscripttoLetterXL.ofVol.VIII.
Iamserious,Jack,faithIam.AndIwouldhavetheetakeitintothywiseconsideration.
R.L.
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Mr.Belfordreturnsaveryseriousanswertotheprecedingletter;whichappearsnot.
Init,hemostheartilywishesthathehadwithstoodMr.Lovelace,whateverhadbeentheconsequence,indesignssoelaboratelybaseandungrateful,andsolongandsteadilypursued,againstaladywhosemeritandinnocenceentitledhertotheprotectionofeverymanwhohadtheleastpretencestothetitleofagentleman;andwhodeservedtobeeventhepubliccare.
Hemostseverelycensureshimselfforhisfalsenotionsofhonourtohisfriend,onthishead;andrecollectswhatthedivinelady,ashecallsher,saidtohimonthisverysubject,asrelatedbyhimselfinhislettertoLovelaceNo.XXI.Vol.VII.,towhichLovelacealso(bothinstigatorandaccuser)refers,andtohisownregretandshameontheoccasion.Hedistinguishes,however,betweenanirreparableinjuryintendedtoaCLARISSA,andonedesignedtosuchofthesex,ascontributebytheirweaknessandindiscretiontotheirownfall,andtherebyentitlethemselvestoalargeshareoftheguiltwhichaccompaniesthecrime.
Heoffersnot,hesays,topalliateorextenuatethecrimeshehimselfhasbeenguiltyof:butlaments,forMr.Lovelace'sownsake,that
hegiveshim,withsoludicrousandunconcernedanair,suchsolemnandusefullessonsandwarnings.Nevertheless,heresolvestomakeithiswholeendeavour,hetellshim,torenderthemefficacioustohimself:andshouldthinkhimselfbuttoohappy,ifheshallbeenabledtosethimsuchanexampleasmaybeameantobringaboutthereformationofamansodeartohimashehasalwaysbeen,fromthefirstoftheiracquaintance;andwhoiscapableofthinkingsorightlyanddeeply;thoughatpresenttosuchlittlepurpose,asmakehisveryknowledgeaddtohiscondemnation.
LETTERXLIII
MR.BELFORD,TOCOLONELMORDENTHURSDAY,SEPT.21.
Givemeleave,dearSir,toaddressmyselftoyouinaveryseriousandsolemnmanner,onasubjectthatImustnot,cannot,dispensewith;asIpromisedthedivineladythatIwoulddoeverythinginmypowertopreventthatfurthermischiefofwhichshewassoveryapprehensive.
Iwillnotcontentmyselfwithdistanthints.ItiswithverygreatconcernthatIhavejustnowheardofadeclarationwhichyouaresaidtohavemadetoyourrelationsatHarlowe-place,thatyouwillnotresttill
youhaveavengedyourcousin'swrongsuponMr.Lovelace.
Farbeitfrommetooffertodefendtheunhappyman,orevenundulytoextenuatehiscrime!ButyetImustsay,thatthefamily,bytheirpersecutionsofthedearladyatfirst,andbytheirimplacablenessafterwards,ought,atleast,tosharetheblamewithhim.Thereisevengreatreasontobelieve,thataladyofsuchareligiousturn,hervirtueneithertobesurprisednorcorrupted,herwillinviolate,wouldhavegotoveramerepersonalinjury;especiallyashewouldhavedoneallthatwasinhispowertorepairit;andas,fromtheapplicationofallhis
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familyinhisfavour,andothercircumstancesattendinghissincereandvoluntaryoffer,theladymighthavecondescended,withgreaterglorytoherself,thanifhehadneveroffended.
WhenIhavethepleasureofseeingyounext,Iwillacquaintyou,Sir,withallthecircumstancesofthismelancholystory;fromwhichyouwillseethatMr.Lovelacewasextremelyilltreatedatfirst,bythewholefamily,thisadmirableladyexcepted.Thisexception,Iknow,heightenshiscrime:butashisprincipalintentionwasbuttotryhervirtue;andthathebecamesoearnestasupplianttoherformarriage;andashehassufferedsodeplorablyinthelossofhisreason,fornothavingitinhispowertorepairherwrongs;Ipresumetohopethatmuchistobepleadedagainstsucharesolutionasyouaresaidtohavemade.Iwillreadtoyou,atthesametime,somepassagesfromlettersofhis;twoofwhich(onebutthismomentreceived)willconvinceyouthattheunhappyman,whoisbutnowrecoveringhisintellects,needsnogreaterpunishmentthanwhathehasfromhisownreflections.
Ihavejustnowreadoverthecopiesofthedearlady'sposthumousletters.Isendthemalltoyou,exceptthatdirectedforMr.Lovelace;whichIreservetillIhavethepleasureofseeingyou.Letmeentreatyoutoreadoncemorethatwrittentoyourself;andthattoherbrother;*whichlatterInowsendyou;astheyareinpointtothepresentsubject.
*SeeLetterXVI.ofthisvolume.
Ithink,Sir,theyareunanswerable.Such,atleast,istheeffecttheyhaveuponme,thatIhopeIshallneverbeprovokedtodrawmyswordagaininaprivatequarrel.
Totheweightthesemustneedshaveuponyou,letmeadd,thattheunhappymanhasgivennonewoccasionofoffence,sinceyourvisittohimatLordM.'s,whenyouweresowellsatisfiedofhisintentiontoatoneforhiscrimes,thatyouyourselfurgedtoyourdearcousinherforgivenessofhim.
Letmealso(thoughIpresumetohopethereisnoneed,whenyoucoollyconsidereverything)remindyouofyourownpromisetoyourdepartingcousin;relyinguponwhich,herlastmomentsweretheeasier.
Reflect,mydearColonelMorden,thatthehighestinjurywastoher:herfamilyallhaveashareinthecause:sheforgivesit:Whyshouldwenotendeavourtoimitatewhatweadmire?
Youaskedme,Sir,whenintown,ifabravemancouldbeapremeditatedlybaseone?--Generallyspeaking,Ibelievebraveryandbasenessareincompatible.ButMr.Lovelace'scharacter,intheinstancebeforeus,affordsaproofofthetruthofthecommonobservation,thatthereisno
generalrulebuthasitsexceptions:forEngland,Ibelieve,asgallantanationasitisdeemedtobe,hasnotinitabraverspiritthanhis;noramanwhohasagreaterskillathisweapons;normorecalmnesswithhisskill.
ImentionnotthiswithathoughtthatitcanaffectCol.Morden;who,ifhebenotwithheldbySUPERIORMOTIVES,aswellasinfluencedbythoseIhaveremindedhimof,willtellme,thatthisskill,andthisbravery,willmakehimthemoreworthyofbeingcalleduponbyhim.
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TotheseSUPERIORMOTIVESthenIrefermyself:andwiththegreaterconfidence;asapursuitendinginbloodwouldnot,atthistime,havetheplealieforitwithanybody,whichsuddenpassionmighthavewithsome:butwouldbeconstruedbyalltobeacoolanddeliberateactofrevengeforanevilabsolutelyirretrievable:anactofwhichabraveandnoblespirit(suchasisthegentleman'stowhomInowwrite)isnotcapable.
Excuseme,Sir,forthesakeofmyexecutorialdutyandpromise,keepingineyethedearlady'spersonalinjunctions,aswellaswrittenwill,enforcedbylettersposthumous.Everyarticleofwhich(solicitousaswebotharetoseeitdulyperformed)shewouldhavedispensedwith,ratherthanfarthermischiefshouldhappenonheraccount.Iam,dearSir,
Youraffectionateandfaithfulfriend,J.BELFORD.
LETTERXLIV
[THISISTHEPOSTHUMOUSLETTERTOCOL.MORDEN,REFERREDTOINTHEABOVE.]
Superscribed,
TOMYBELOVEDCOUSINWILLIAMMORDEN,ESQ.TOBEDELIVEREDAFTERMYDEATH.
MYDEARESTCOUSIN,
Asitisuncertain,frommypresentweakstate,whether,ifliving,ImaybeinaconditiontoreceiveasIoughtthefavouryouintendmeofavisit,whenyoucometoLondon,Itakethisopportunitytoreturnyou,whileable,thehumbleacknowledgmentsofagratefulheart,forallyourgoodnesstomefromchildhoodtillnow:andmoreparticularlyforyourpresentkindinterpositioninmyfavour--GodAlmightyforeverblessyou,
dearSir,forthekindnessyouendeavouredtoprocureforme!
Oneprincipalendofmywritingtoyou,inthissolemnmanner,is,tobegofyou,whichIdowiththeutmostearnestness,thatwhenyoucometoheartheparticularsofmystory,youwillnotsufferactiveresentmenttotakeplaceinyourgenerousbreastonmyaccount.
Remember,mydearCousin,thatvengeanceisGod'sprovince,andhehasundertakentorepayit;norwillyou,Ihope,invadethatprovince:--especiallyasthereisnonecessityforyoutoattempttovindicatemyfame;sincetheoffenderhimself(beforeheiscalledupon)hasstoodforth,andofferedtodomeallthejusticethatyoucouldhaveextortedfromhim,hadIlived:andwhenyourownpersonmaybeendangeredby
runninganequalrisquewithaguiltyman.
Duelling,Sir,Ineednottellyou,whohaveadornedapubliccharacter,isnotonlyanusurpationoftheDivineprerogative;butitisaninsultuponmagistracyandgoodgovernment.'Tisanimpiousact.'Tisanattempttotakeawayalifethatoughtnottodependuponaprivatesword;anact,theconsequenceofwhichistohurryasoul(allitssinsuponitshad)intoperdition;endangeringthatofthepoortriumpher--sinceneitherintendtogivetotheotherthatchance,asImaycallit,fortheDivinemercy,inanopportunityforrepentance,whicheach
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presumestohopeforhimself.
Seeknotthen,Ibeseechyou,Sir,toaggravatemyfault,byapursuitofblood,whichmustnecessarilybedeemedaconsequenceofthatfault.Givenottheunhappymanthemerit(wereyouassuredlytobethevictor)offallingbyyourhand.Atpresentheistheperfidious,theungratefuldeceiver;butwillnottheforfeitureofhislife,andtheprobablelossofhissoul,beadreadfulexpiationforhavingmadememiserableforafewmonthsonly,andthroughthatmisery,bytheDivinefavour,happytoalleternity?
Insuchacase,myCousin,whereshalltheevilstop?--Andwhoshallavengeonyou?--Andwhoonyouravenger?
Letthepoorman'sconscience,then,dearSir,avengeme.Hewillonedayfindpunishmentmorethanenoughfromthat.Leavehimtothechanceofrepentance.IftheAlmightywillgivehimtimeforit,whoshouldyoudenyithim?--Lethimstillbetheguiltyaggressor;andletnoonesay,ClarissaHarloweisnowamplyrevengedinhisfall;or,inthecaseofyour's,(whichHeavenavert!)thatherfault,insteadofbeingburiedinhergrave,isperpetuated,andaggravated,byalossfargreaterthanthatofherself.
Often,Sir,hasthemoreguiltybeenthevanquisheroftheless.AnEarl
ofShrewsbury,inthereignofCharlesII.asIhaveread,endeavouringtorevengethegreatestinjurythatmancandotoman,metwithhisdeathatBarn-Elms,fromthehandoftheignobleDukewhohadvilelydishonouredhim.Norcanitbethoughtanunequaldispensation,wereitgenerallytohappenthattheusurperoftheDivineprerogativeshouldbepunishedforhispresumptionbythemanwhomhesoughttodestroy,andwho,howeverpreviouslycriminal,isput,inthiscase,uponanecessaryactofself-defence.
MayHeavenprotectyou,Sir,inallyourways;and,oncemore,Ipray,rewardyouforallyourkindnesstome!Akindnesssoworthyofyourheart,andsoexceedinglygratefultomine:thatofseekingtomakepeace,andtoreconcileparentstoaonce-belovedchild;unclestoa
niecelatetheirfavourite;andabrotherandsistertoasisterwhomoncetheythoughtnotunworthyofthattenderrelation.Akindnesssogreatlypreferabletothevengeanceofamurderingsword.
Beacomforter,dearSir,tomyhonouredparents,asyouhavebeentome;andmaywe,throughtheDivinegoodnesstousboth,meetinthatblessedeternity,intowhich,asIhumblytrust,Ishallhaveenteredwhenyouwillreadthis.
Soprays,andtoherlatesthourwillpray,mydearCousinMorden,myfriend,myguardian,butnotmyavenger--[dearSir!rememberthat!--]
Yourever-affectionateandobliged
CLARISSAHARLOWE.
LETTERXLV
COLONELMORDEN,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.SATURDAY,SEPT.23.
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DEARSIR,
IamverysorrythatanythingyouhaveheardIhavesaidshouldgiveyouuneasiness.
Iamobligedtoyouforthelettersyouhavecommunicatedtome;andstillfurtherforyourpromisetofavourmewithothersoccasionally.
AllthatrelatestomydearcousinIshallbegladtosee,beitfromwhomitwill.
Ileavetoyourowndiscretion,whatmayormaynotbeproperforMissHowetoseefromapensofreeasmine.
Iadmireherspirit.Weresheaman,doyouthink,Sir,she,atthistime,wouldhaveyouradvicetotakeuponsuchasubjectasthatuponwhichyouwrite?
Fearnot,however,thatyourcommunicationsshallputmeuponanymeasuresthatotherwiseIshouldnothavetaken.Thewickedness,Sir,isofsuchanature,asadmitsnotofaggravation.
YetIdoassureyou,thatIhavenotmadeanyresolutionsthatwillbeatieuponme.
Ihaveindeedexpressedmyselfwithvehemenceupontheoccasion.Whocouldforbeartodoso?Butitisnotmywaytoresolveinmattersofmoment,tillopportunitybringstheexecutionofmypurposeswithinmyreach.Weshallseebywhatmannerofspiritthisyoungmanwillbeactuatedonhisrecovery.Ifhecontinuetobraveanddefyafamily,whichhehassoirreparablyinjured--if--butresolutionsdependinguponfuturecontingenciesarebestlefttofuturedetermination,asIjustnowhinted.
Meantime,IwillownthatIthinkmycousin'sargumentsunanswerable.Nogoodmanbutmustbeinfluencedbythem.--But,alas!Sir,whoisgood?
Astoyourarguments;Ihopeyouwillbelieveme,whenIassureyou,asInowdo,thatyouropinionandyourreasoningshave,andwillalwayshave,greatanddeservedweightwithme;andthatIrespectyoustillmorethanIdid,ifpossible,foryourexpostulationsinsupportofmycousin'spiousinjunctionstome.Theycomefromyou,Sir,withthegreatestpropriety,asherexecutorandrepresentative;andlikewiseasyouareamanofhumanity,andawell-wishertobothparties.
Iamnotexemptfromviolentpassions,Sir,anymorethanyourfriend;butthenIhopetheyareonlycapableofbeingraisedbyotherpeople'sinsolence,andnotbymyownarrogance.IfeverIamstimulatedbymyimperfectionsandmyresentmentstoactagainstmyjudgmentandmycousin'sinjunctions,somesuchreflectionsasthesethatfollowwill
runawaywithmyreason.Indeedtheyarealwayspresentwithme.
Inthefirstplace;myowndisappointment:whocameoverwiththehopeofpassingtheremainderofmydaysintheconversationofakinswomansobeloved;andtowhomIhaveadoublerelationashercousinandtrustee.
ThenIreflect,too,toooftenperhapsformyengagementstoherinherlasthours,thatthedearcreaturecouldonlyforgiveforherself.
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She,nodoubt,ishappy:butwhoshallforgiveforawholefamily,inallitsbranchesmademiserablefortheirlives?
Thatthemorefaultyherfriendswereastoher,themoreenormoushisingratitude,andthemoreinexcusable--What!Sir,wasitnotenoughthatshesufferedwhatshedidforhim,butthebarbarianmustmakehersufferforhersufferingsforhissake?--Passionmakesmeexpressthisweakly;passionrefusestheaidofexpressionsometimes,wheretheproprietyofaresentmentprimafaciedeclaresexpressiontobeneedless.Ileaveittoyou,Sir,togivethisreflectionitsdueforce.
Thattheauthorofthisdiffusivemischiefperpetuateditpremeditatedly,wantonly,inthegaietyofhisheart.Totrymycousin,sayyou,Sir!TotrythevirtueofaClarissa,Sir!--Hasshethengivenhimanycausetodoubthervirtue?--Itcouldnotbe.--Ifheaversthatshedid,Iamindeedcalledupon--butIwillhavepatience.
Thathecarriedher,asnowappears,toavilebrothel,purposelytoputheroutofallhumanresource;himselfoutofthereachofallhumanremorse:andthat,findingherproofagainstallthecommonartsofdelusion,baseandunmanlyartswerethereusedtoeffecthiswickedpurposes.Oncedead,theinjuredsaint,inherwill,says,hehasseenher.
ThatIcouldnotknowthis,whenIsawhimatM.Hall:that,theobjectofhisattemptsconsidered,Icouldnotsupposetherewassuchamonsterbreathingashe:thatitwasnaturalformetoimputeherrefusalofhimrathertotransitoryresentment,toconsciousnessofhumanfrailty,andmingleddoubtsofthesincerityofhisoffers,thantovillanies,whichhadgiventheirreversibleblow,andhadatthatinstantbroughtherdowntothegatesofdeath,whichinaveryfewdaysenclosedher.
Thatheisamanofdefiance:amanwhothinkstoaweeveryonebyhisinsolentdarings,andbyhispretensionstosuperiorcourageandskill.
That,disgraceasheistohisname,andtothecharacterofagentleman,themanwouldnotwantmerit,who,invindicationofthedishonoureddistincion,shouldexpungeandblothimoutoftheworthylist.
Thattheinjuredfamilyhasason,who,howeverunworthyofsuchasister,isofatempervehement,unbridled,fierce;unequal,therefore,(ashehasonceindeedbeenfound,)toacontentionwiththisman:thelossofwhichson,byaviolentdeathonsuchanoccasion,andbyahandsojustlyhated,wouldcompletethemiseryofthewholefamily;andwho,nevertheless,resolvestocallhimtoaccount,ifIdonot;hisverymisbehaviour,perhaps,
tosuchasister,stimulatinghisperversehearttodohermemorythemoresignaljustice;thoughtheattemptmightbefataltohimself.
Then,Sir,tobeawitness,asIameveryhour,tothecalamityanddistressofafamilytowhichIamrelated;everyoneofwhom,howeveraversetoanalliancewithhimwhileithadnotplace,wouldnodoubthavebeensoonreconciledtotheadmirablecreature,hadtheman(towhom,forhisfamilyandfortunes,itwasnotadisgracetobeallied)doneherbutcommonjustice!
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Toseethemhangtheirpensiveheads;mopeabout,shunningoneanother;thoughformerlyneverusedtomeetbuttorejoiceineachother;afflictingthemselveswithreflections,thatthelasttimetheyrespectivelysawthedearcreature,itwashereorthere,atsuchaplace,insuchanattitude;andcouldtheyhavethoughtthatitwouldhavebeenthelast?--Everyoneofthemrevivinginstancesofherexcellenciesthatwillforalongtimemaketheirveryblessingsacursetothem!
Hercloset,herchamber,hercabinet,givenuptometodisfurnish,inordertoanswer(nowtoolateobliging!)thelegaciesbequeathed;unablethemselvestoenterthem;andevenmakinguseoflessconvenientbackstairs,thattheymayavoidpassingbythedoorsofherapartment!
Herparlourlockedup;thewalks,theretirements,thesummer-houseinwhichshedelighted,andinwhichsheusedtopursuehercharmingworks;thatinparticular,fromwhichshewenttothefatalinterview,shunned,orhurriedby,orover!
Herperfections,nevertheless,calleduptoremembrance,andenumerated;incidentsandgraces,unheededbefore,orpassedoverinthegroupofhernumberlessperfections,nowbroughtbackintonotice,and
dweltupon!Theveryservantsallowedtoexpatiateuponthesepraisefultopicstotheirprincipals!Eveneloquentintheirpraises!Thedistressedprincipalslisteningandweeping!Thentoseethembreakinuponthezealousapplauders,bytheirimpatienceandremorse,andthrowabroadtheirhelplesshands,andexclaim;thenagaintoseethemlistentohearmoreofherpraises,andweepagain--theyevenencouragingtheservantstorepeathowtheyusedtobestoptbystrangerstoaskafterher,andbythosewhoknewher,tobetoldofsomenewinstancestoherhonour--howaggravatingallthis!
Indreamstheyseeher,anddesiretoseeher;alwaysanangle,and
accompaniedbyangels;alwayscladinrobesoflight;alwaysendeavouringtocomfortthem,whodeclare,thattheyshallnevermoreknowcomfort!
Whatanexamplesheset!Howsheindited!Howshedrew!Howshewrought!Howshetalked!Howshesung!Howsheplayed!Hervoicemusic!Heraccentharmony!
Herconversationhowinstructive!howsoughtafter!Thedelightofpersonsofallages,ofbothsexes,ofallranks!Yethowhumble,howcondescending!Neverweredignityandhumilitysoillustriouslymingled!
Atothertimes,howgenerous,hownoble,howcharitable,howjudiciousinhercharities!Ineveryactionlaudable!Ineveryattitudeattractive!Ineveryappearance,whetherfull-dressed,orinthehousewife'smorehumblegarb,equallyelegant,andequallylovely!Like,orresembling,MissClarissaHarlowe,theynowremembertobeapraisedenotingthehighestdegreeofexcellence,witheveryone,whateverperson,action,orrank,spokenof.--Thedesirabledaughter;theobligingkinswoman;theaffectionatesister,(allenvynowsubsided!)thefaithful,thewarmfriend;theaffable,thekind,thebenevolentmistress!--Notonefaultremembered!All
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theirseveritiescalledcruelties:mutuallyaccusingeachother;eachhimandherself;andalltoraisehercharacter,andtormentthemselves.
Such,Sir,wastheangel,ofwhomthevilestofmenhasdeprivedtheworld!You,Sir,whoknowmoreofthebarbarousmachinationsandpracticesofthisstrangeman,canhelpmetostillmoreinflamingreasons,weretheyneeded,whyaman,notperfect,maystandexcusedtothegeneralityoftheworld,ifheshouldpursuehisvengeance;andtherather,asthroughanabsenceofsixyears,(highasjustreport,andthepromisesofherearlyyouthfromchildhood,hadraisedherinhisesteem,)hecouldnottillnowknowonehalfofherexcellencies--tillnow!thatwehavelost,foreverlost,theadmirablecreature!--
ButIwillforcemyselffromthesubject,afterIhaverepeatedthatIhavenotyetmadeanyresolutionsthatcanbindme.WheneverIdo,Ishallbegladtheymaybesuchasmaymeritthehonourofyourapprobation.
Isendyoubackthecopiesoftheposthumousletters.Iseethehumanityofyourpurpose,inthetransmissionofthemtome;andIthankyoumostheartilyforit.Ipresume,thatitisowingtothesamelaudableconsideration,thatyoukeptbackthecopyofthattothewickedman
himself.IintendtowaituponMissHoweinpersonwiththediamondring,andsuchotheroftheeffectsbequeathedtoherasarehere.Iam,Sir,
Yourmostfaithfulandobligedservant,WM.MORDEN.
[Mr.Belford,inhisanswertothisletter,fartherenforcesthelady'sdyinginjunctions;andrejoicesthattheColonelhasmadenovindictiveresolutions;andhopeseverythingfromhisprudenceandconsideration,andfromhispromisegiventothedyinglady.
Hereferstotheseeinghimintownonaccountofthedreadfulendsoftwoofthegreatestcriminalsinhiscousin'saffair.'This,sayshe,togetherwithMr.Lovelace'sdisorderofmind,looksasifProvidencehadalreadytakenthepunishmentoftheseunhappywretchesintoitsownhands.'
HedesirestheColonelwillgivehimaday'snoticeofhiscomingtotown,lestotherwisehemaybeabsentatthetime--thishedoes,thoughhetellshimnotthereason,withaviewtopreventameetingbetweenhimandMr.Lovelace;whomightbeintown(asheapprehends,)aboutthesametime,inhiswaytogoabroad.]
LETTERXLVI
COLONELMORDEN,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.TUESDAY,SEPT.26.
DEARSIR,
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Icannothelpcongratulatingmyselfaswellasyouthatwehavealreadygotthroughwiththefamilyeveryarticleofthewillwheretheyhaveanyconcern.
Youleftmeadiscretionalpowerinmanyinstances;and,inpursuanceofit,Ihavehadmydearcousin'spersonaljewels,andwillaccounttoyouforthem,atthehighestprice,whenIcometotown,aswellasforothermattersthatyouwerepleasedtointrusttomymanagement.
ThesejewelsIhavepresentedtomycousinDollyHervey,inacknowledgementofherlovetothedeardeparted.IhavetoldMissHoweofthis;andsheisaswellpleasedwithwhatIhavedoneasifshehadbeenthepurchaserofthemherself.Asthatyoungladyhasjewelsofherown,shecouldonlyhavewishedtopurchasethesebecausetheywereherbelovedfriend's.--Thegrandmother'sjewelsarealsovalued;andthemoneywillbepaidmeforyou,tobecarriedtotheusesofthewill.
Mrs.Nortonispreparing,bygeneralconsent,toenteruponherofficeashousekeeperatTheGrove.ButitismyopinionthatshewillnotbelongonthissideHeaven.
IwaiteduponMissHowemyself,asItoldyouIwould,withwhatwasbequeathedtoherandhermother.Youwillnotbedispleased,perhaps,ifImakeafewobservationswithregardtothatyounglady,sodearto
mybelovedcousin,asyouhavenotapersonalacquaintancewithher.Thereneverwasafirmerornoblerfriendshipinwomen,thanbetweenmydearcousinandMissHowe,towhichthiswretchedmanhadgivenaperiod.
Friendship,generallyspeaking,Mr.Belford,istooferventaflameforfemalemindstomanage:alightthatbutinfewoftheirhandsburnssteady,andoftenhurriesthesexintoflightandabsurdity.Likeotherextremes,itishardlyeverdurable.Marriage,whichisthehigheststateoffriendship,generallyabsorbsthemostvehementfriendshipsoffemaletofemale;andthatwhetherthewedlockbehappy,ornot.
Whatfemalemindiscapableoftwoferventfemalefriendshipsatthesame
time?--ThisImentionasageneralobservation;butthefriendshipthatsubsistedbetweenthesetwoladiesaffordsaremarkableexceptiontoit:whichIaccountforfromthosequalitiesandattainmentsinboth,which,weretheymorecommon,wouldfurnishmoreexceptionsstillinfavourofthesex.
Bothhadanenlarged,andevenaliberaleducation:bothhadmindsthirstingaftervirtuousknowledge;greatreadersboth;greatwriters--[andearlyfamiliarwritingItaketobeoneofthegreatestopenersandimproversofthemindthatmanorwomancanbeemployedin.]Bothgenerous.Highinfortune,thereforeabovethatdependenceeachontheotherthatfrequentlydestroysthatfamiliaritywhichisthecementoffriendship.Bothexcellingindifferentways,inwhichneithersought
toenvytheother.Bothblessedwithclearanddistinguishingfaculties;withsolidsense;and,fromtheirfirstintimacy,[Ihavemanyofmylights,Sir,fromMrs.Norton,]eachseeingsomethingintheothertofear,aswellastolove;yetmakingitanindispensableconditionoftheirfriendship,eachtotelltheotherofherfailings;andtobethankfulforthefreedomtaken.Onebynaturegentle;theothermadesobyherloveandadmirationofherexaltedfriend--impossiblethattherecouldbeafriendshipbettercalculatedforduration.
Imust,however,takethelibertytoblameMissHoweforherbehaviour
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toMr.Hickman.AndIinferfromit,thatevenwomenofsensearenottobetrustedwithpower.
Bytheway,IamsureIneednotdesireyounottocommunicatetothisferventyoungladythelibertiesIhavetakenwithhercharacter.
IdaresaymycousincouldnotapproveofMissHowe'sbehaviourtothisgentleman;abehaviourwhichistalkedofbyasmanyasknowMr.Hickmanandher.Canawiseyoungladybeeasyundersuchcensure?Shemustknowit.
Mr.Hickmanisreallyaveryworthyman.Everybodyspeakswellofhim.Butheisgentle-dispositioned,andheadoresMissHowe;andloveadmitsnotofanairofevenduedignitytotheobjectofit.YetwillMr.Hickmanhardlyevergetbackthereinshehasyieldedup;unlessshe,bycarryingtoofarthepowerofwhichsheseemsatpresenttoosensible,should,whenshehasnofavourstoconferwhichhehasnotarighttodemand,provokehimtothrowoffthetoo-heavyyoke.Andshouldhedoso,andthentreatherwithnegligence,MissHowe,ofallthewomenIknow,willbetheleastabletosupportherselfunderit.Shewillthenbemoreunhappythansheevermadehim;foramanwhoisuneasyathome,candiverthimselfabroad;whichawomancannotsoeasilydo,withoutscandal.--Permitmetotakefarthernotice,astoMissHowe,thatitisveryobvioustome,thatshehas,byherhaughtybehaviourtothisworthy
man,involvedherselfinonedifficulty,fromwhichsheknowsnothowtoextricateherselfwiththatgracewhichaccompaniesallheractions.SheintendstohaveMr.Hickman.Ibelieveshedoesnotdislikehim.Anditwillcosthernosmallpainstodescendfromtheelevationshehasclimbedto.
Anotherinconvenienceshewillsufferfromherhavingtaughteverybody(forsheisabovedisguise)tothink,byhertreatmentofMr.Hickman,muchmoremeanlyofhimthanhedeservestobethoughtof.Andmustshenotsufferdishonourinhisdishonour?
Mrs.Howeismuchdisturbedatherdaughter'sbehaviourtothegentleman.Heisverydeservedlyafavouriteofher's.But[anotherfailinginMiss
Howe]hermotherhasnotalltheauthoritywithherthatamotheroughttohave.MissHoweisindeedawomanoffinesense;butitrequiresahighdegreeofgoodunderstanding,aswellasasweetandgentledispositionofmind,andgreatdiscretion,inachild,whengrownup,toletitbeseen,thatsheminglesreverencewithherlove,toaparent,whohastalentsvisiblyinferiortoherown.
MissHoweisopen,generous,noble.Themotherhasnotanyofherfinequalities.Parents,inordertopreservetheirchildren'svenerationforthem,shouldtakegreatcarenottoletthemseeanythingintheirconduct,orbehaviour,orprinciples,whichtheythemselveswouldnotapproveofinothers.
Mr.Hickmanhas,however,thisconsiderationtocomforthimselfwith,thatthesamevivacitybywhichhesuffers,makesMissHowe'sownmother,attimes,equallysensible.Andasheseesenoughofthisbeforehand,hewillhavemorereasontoblamehimselfthanthelady,shouldsheproveaslivelyawifeasshewasamistress,forhavingcontinuedhisaddresses,andmarriedher,againstsuchthreateningappearances.
Thereisalsoanothercircumstancewhichgood-naturedmen,whoengagewithevenlivelywomen,maylookforwardtowithpleasure;acircumstancewhichgenerallylowersthespiritsoftheladies,anddomesticatesthem,
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asImaycallit;andwhich,asitwillbringthoseofMr.HickmanandMissHowenearertoapar,thatworthygentlemanwillhavedoublereason,whenithappens,tocongratulatehimselfuponit.
Butafterall,IseethatthereissomethingsocharminglybrilliantandfrankinMissHowe'sdisposition,althoughatpresentvisiblyovercloudedbygrief,thatitisimpossiblenottoloveher,evenforherfailings.Shemay,andIhopeshewill,makeMr.Hickmananobligingwife.Andifshedoes,shewillhaveadditionalmeritwithme;sinceshecannotbeapprehensiveofcheckorcontroul;andmaytherefore,byhergenerosityandprudence,layanobligationuponherhusband,bytheperformanceofwhatisnomorethanherduty.
Hermotherbothlovesandfearsher.YetisMrs.Howealsoawomanofvivacity,andreadyenough,Idaresay,tocryoutwhensheispained.But,alas!shehas,asIhintedabove,weakenedherauthoritybythenarrownessofhermind.
Yetonceshepraisedherdaughtertomewithsomuchwarmthforthegenerosityofherspirit,thathadInotknowntheoldlady'scharacter,Ishouldhavethoughthergenerousherself.AndyetIhavealwaysobserved,thatpeopleofnarrowtempersarereadytopraisegenerousones:--andthushaveIaccountedforit--thatsuchpersonsgenerallyfindittotheirpurpose,thatalltheworldshouldbeopen-mindedbut
themselves.Theoldladyappliedherselftome,tourgetotheyoungonethecontentsofthewill,inordertohastenhertofixadayforhermarriage;butdesiredthatIwouldnotletMissHoweknowthatshedid.
ItookthelibertyuponittotellMissHowethatIhopedthatherpartofawill,sosoon,andsopunctually,inalmostallitsotherarticles,fulfilled,wouldnotbetheonlyonethatwouldbeslighted.
Heranswerwas,shewouldconsiderofit:andmademeacourtesywithsuchanair,asshowedmethatshethoughtmemoreoutofmysphere,thanIcouldallowhertothinkme,hadIbeenpermittedtoarguethepoint
withher.
IfoundMissHoweandherownservant-maidindeepmourning.This,itseems,hadoccasionedagreatdebateatfirstbetweenhermotherandher.Hermotherhadthewordsofthewillonherside;andMr.Hickman'sinterestinherview;herdaughterhavingsaidthatshewouldwearitforsixmonthsatleast.Buttheyoungladycarriedherpoint--'Strange,'saidshe,'ifI,whoshallmourntheheavy,theirreparablelosstothelasthourofmylife,shouldnotshowmyconcerntotheworldforafewmonths!'
Mr.Hickman,forhispart,wassofarfromutteringanopposingwordonthisoccasion,that,ontheverydaythatMissHoweputonher's,he
waitedonherinanewsuitofmourning,asforanearrelation.Hisservantsandequipagemadethesamerespectfulappearance.
Whetherthemotherwasconsultedbyhiminit,Icannotsay;butthedaughterknewnothingofit,tillshesawhiminit;shelookedathimwithsurprise,andaskedhimforwhomhemourned?
Thedear,andever-dearMissHarlowe,hesaid.
Shewasataloss,itseems.Atlast--Alltheworldoughttomournfor
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myClarissa,saidshe;Butwhom,man,[thatwasherwhimsicaladdresstohim,]thinkestthoutoobligebythisappearance?
Itismorethanappearance,Madam.Ilovenotmyownsister,worthyassheis,betterthanIlovedMissClarissaHarlowe.Iobligemyselfbyit.AndifIdisobligenotyou,thatisallIwish.
Shesurveyedhim,Iamtold,fromheadtofoot.Sheknewnot,atfirst,whethertobeangryorpleased.--Atlength,'Ithoughtatfirst,'saidshe,'thatyoumighthaveabolderandfreermotive--but(asmyMammasays)youmaybeawell-meaningman,thoughgenerallyalittlewrong-headed--however,astheworldiscensorious,andmaythinkusnearerofkinthanIwouldhaveitsupposed,ImusttakecarethatIamnotseenabroadinyourcompany.'
Butletmeadd,Mr.Belford,thatifthiscomplimentofMr.Hickman(orthismorethancompliment,asImaycallit,sincetheworthymanspeaksnotofmydearcousinwithoutemotion)doesnotproduceashortday,IshallthinkMissHowehaslessgenerosityinhertemperthanIamwillingtoallowher.
Youwillexcuseme,Mr.Belford,fortheparticularitieswhichyouinvitedandencouraged.Havingnowseeneverythingthatrelatestothewillofmydearcousinbroughttoadesirableissue,Iwillsetabout
makingmyown.Ishallfollowthedearcreature'sexample,andgivemyreasonsforeveryarticle,thattheremaybenoroomforafter-contention.
Whatbutafearofdeath,afearunworthyofacreaturewhoknowsthathemustonedayassurelydieashewasborn,canhinderanyonefrommakingsuchadisposition?
Ihopesoontopaymyrespectstoyouintown.Meantime,Iam,withgreatrespect,dearSir,
Yourfaithfulandaffectionatehumbleservant,WM.MORDEN.
LETTERXLVII
MR.BELFORD,TOMISSHOWETHURSDAY,SEPT.28.
MADAM,
Idomyselfthehonourtosendyoubythis,accordingtomypromise,*copiesoftheposthumousletterswrittenbyyourexaltedfriend.
*SeeLetterXXXVI.ofthisvolume.
Thesewillbeaccompaniedwithotherletters,particularlyacopyofonefromMr.Lovelace,beguntobewrittenonthe14th,andcontinueddowntothe18th.*Youwillseebyit,Madam,thedreadfulanguishthathisspiritslabourwith,andhisdeepremorse.
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*SeeLetterXXXVII.ibid.
Mr.Lovelacesentforthisletterback.Icomplied;butIfirsttookacopyofit.AsIhavenottoldhimthatIhavedoneso,youwillbepleasedtoforbearcommunicatingofittoanybodybutMr.Hickman.Thatgentleman'sperusalofitwillbethesameasifnobodybutyourselfsawit.
OneofthelettersofColonelMorden,whichIenclose,youwillobserve,Madam,isonlyacopy.*Thetruereasonforwhich,asIwillingenuouslyacknowledge,is,somefree,butrespectfulanimadversionswhichtheColonelhasmadeuponyourdecliningtocarryintoexecutionyourpartofyourdearfriend'slastrequests.Ihavetherefore,inrespecttothatworthygentleman,(havingacautionfromhimonthathead,)omittedthoseparts.
*TheprecedingLetter.
Willyouallowme,Madam,however,totellyou,thatImyselfcouldnothavebelievedthatmyinimitabletestatrix'sownMissHowewouldhave
beenthemostbackwardinperformingsuchapartofherdearfriend'slastwill,asisentirelyinherownpowertoperform--especially,whenthatperformancewouldmakeoneofthemostdeservingmeninEnglandhappy;andwhom,Ipresume,sheproposestohonourwithherhand.
Excuseme,Madam,Ihaveamostsincerevenerationforyou;andwouldnotdisobligeyoufortheworld.
IwillnotpresumetomakeremarksonthelettersIsendyou;norupontheinformationsIhavetogiveyouofthedreadfulendoftwounhappywretcheswhowerethegreatestcriminalsintheaffairofyouradorablefriend.ThesearetheinfamousSinclair,andapersonwhomyouhavereadof,nodoubt,inthelettersofthecharminginnocent,bythenameof
CaptainTomlinson.
Thewretchedwomandiedintheextremesttorturesanddespondency:themanfromwoundsgotindefendinghimselfincarryingonacontrabandtrade;bothaccusingthemselves,intheirlasthours,forthepartstheyhadactedagainstthemostexcellentofwomen,asofthecrimethatgavethemthedeepestremorse.
Givemeleavetosay,Madam,thatifyourcompassionbenotexcitedforthepoormanwhosufferssogreatlyfromhisownanguishofmind,asyouwillobservebyhisletterhedoes;andfortheunhappyfamily,whoseremorse,youwillseebyColonelMorden's,issodeep;yourterrormust.AndyetIshouldnotwonder,ifthejustsenseoftheirreparableloss
youhavesustainedhardensaheartagainstpity,which,onalessextraordinaryoccasion,wouldwantitsprincipalgrace,ifitwerenotcompassionate.
Iam,Madam,withthegreatestrespectandgratitude,Yourmostobligedandfaithfulhumbleservant,J.BELFORD.
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LETTERXLVIII
MISSHOWE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.SATURDAY,SEPT.30.
SIR,
IlittlethoughtIevercouldhaveowedsomuchobligationtoanymanasyouhavelaidmeunder.Andyetwhatyouhavesentmehasalmostbrokenmyheart,andruinedmyeyes.
Iamsurprised,thoughagreeably,thatyouhavesosoon,andsowell,gotoverthatpartofthetrustyouhaveengagedin,whichrelatestothefamily.
Itmaybepresumed,fromtheexitsyoumentionoftwooftheinfernalman'saccomplices,thatthethunderboltwillnotstopshortoftheprincipal.IndeedIhavesomepleasuretothinkitseemsrollingalongtowardsthedevotedheadthathasplottedallthemischief.Butletme,however,say,thatalthoughIthinkMr.Mordennotaltogetherinthewronginhisreasonsforresentment,asheisthedearcreature'skinsmanandtrustee,yetIthinkyouverymuchintherightinendeavouringtodissuadehimfromit,asyouareherexecutor,andactinpursuanceof
herearnestrequest.Butwhataletteristhatoftheinfernalman's!Icannotobserveuponit.NeithercanI,forverydifferentreasons,uponmydearcreature'sposthumousletters;particularlyonthattohim.OMr.Belford!whatnumberlessperfectionsdied,whenmyClarissadrewherlastbreath!
Ifdecencybeobservedinhisletters,forIhavenotyethadpatiencetoreadabovetwoorthreeofthem,(besidesthishorridone,whichIreturntoyouenclosed,)Imaysometimehencebecurioustolook,bytheirmeans,intotheheartsofwretches,which,thoughtheymustbetheabhorrenceofvirtuousminds,will,whentheyarelaidopen,(asIpresumetheyareinthem,)affordaproperwarningtothosewhoread
them,andteachthemtodetestmenofsuchprofligatecharacters.
Ifyourreformationbesincere,youwillnotbeoffendedthatIdonotexceptyouonthisoccasion.--AndthushaveIhelpedyoutoacriteriontotryyourselfby.
Bythisletterofthewickedmanitisapparentthattherearestillwickederwomen.Butseewhataguiltycommercewiththedevilsofyoursexwillbringthosetowhosemoralsyehaveruined!--Forthesewomenwereonceinnocent:itwasmanthatmadethemotherwise.Thefirstbadman,perhaps,threwthemuponworsemen;thoseuponstillworse;tilltheycommenceddevilsincarnate--theheightofwickednessorofshameisnotarrivedatallatonce,asIhavesomewhereheardobserved.
Butthisman,thismonsterrather,forhimtocursethesewomen,andtocursethedearcreature'sfamily(implacableasthelatterwere,)inordertolightenaburdenhevoluntarilytookup,andgroansunder,ismeannessaddedtowickedness:andinvainwillheonedayfindhislowpleaofsharingwithherfriends,andwiththosecommonwretches,aguiltwhichwillbeadjudgedhimasallhisown;thoughtheytoomaymeettheirpunishment;asitisevidentlybegun;inthefirst,intheirineffectualreproachesofoneanother;inthesecond--asyouhavetoldme.
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ThisletteroftheabandonedwretchIhavenotshowntoanybody;noteventoMr.Hickman:for,Sir,Imusttellyou,Idonotasyetthinkitthesamethingasonlyseeingitmyself.
Mr.Hickman,liketherestofhissex,wouldgrowuponindulgence.Onedistinctionfrommewouldmakehimpaytwotohimself.Insolentcreepers,orencroachersallofyou!Toshowanyofyouafavourto-day,youwouldexpectitasarightto-morrow.
Iam,asyousee,veryopenandsincerewithyou;anddesigninanotherlettertobestillmoreso,inanswertoyourcall,andColonelMorden'scall,uponme,inapointthatconcernsmetoexplainmyselfupontomybelovedcreature'sexecutor,andtotheColonel,asheronlytenderandonlyworthyrelation.
IcannotbuthighlyapplaudColonelMordenforhisgenerositytoMissDollyHervey.
Othathehadarrivedtimeenoughtosavemyinimitablefriendfromthemachinationsofthevilestofmen,andfromtheenvyandmaliceofthemostselfishandimplacableofbrothersandsisters!
ANNAHOWE.
LETTERXLIX
MISSHOWE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.MONDAY,OCT.2.
Whenyouquestionme,Sir,asyoudo,andonasubjectsoaffectingtome,inthecharacteroftherepresentativeofmybestbelovedfriend,andhaveineveryparticularhithertoacteduptothatcharacter,youareentitledtomyregard:especiallyasyouarejoinedinyourquestioningofmebyagentlemanwhomIlookuponasthedearestandnearest(because
worthiest)relationofmydearfriend:andwho,itseems,hasbeensosevereacensurerofmyconduct,thatyourpolitenesswillnotpermityoutosendmehisletter,withothersofhis;butacopyonly,inwhichthepassagesreflectinguponmeareomitted.
Ipresume,however,thatwhatismeantbythisalarmingfreedomoftheColonelisnomorethanwhatyoubothhavealreadyhintedtome.AsifyouthoughtIwerenotinclinedtopaysomuchregardtomybelovedcreature'slastwill,inmyowncase,asIwouldhaveotherspaytoit.AchargethatIoughtnottobequitesilentunder.
Youhaveobserved,nodoubt,thatIhaveseemedtovaluemyselfuponthefreedomItakeindeclaringmysentimentswithoutreserveuponevery
subjectthatIpretendtotouchupon:andIcanhardlyquestionthatIhave,orshall,inyouropinion,bymyunceremonioustreatmentofyouuponsoshortanacquaintance,runintotheerrorofthose,who,wantingtobethoughtabovehypocrisyandflattery,fallintorusticity,ifnotill-manners;acommonfaultwithsuch,who,notcaringtocorrectconstitutionalfailings,seektoglossthemoverbysomenominalvirtue;whenallthetime,perhaps,thesefailingsareentirelyowingtonativearrogance;or,atleast,toacontractedrust,thattheywillnot,becauseitwouldgivethempain,submittohavefiledoff.
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Yousee,Sir,thatIcan,however,beasfreewithmyselfaswithyou:andbywhatIamgoingtowrite,youwillfindmestillmorefree;andyetIamawarethatsuchofmysexaswillnotassumesomelittledignity,andexactrespectfromyour's,willrenderthemselvescheap;and,perhaps,fortheirmodestyanddiffidence,berepaidwithscornandinsult.
ButthescornIwillendeavournottodeserve;andtheinsultIwillnotbear.
Insomeofthedearcreature'spaperswhichyouhavehadinyourpossession,andmustagainhave,inordertogettranscribed,youwillfindseveralfriendly,butseverereprehensionsofme,onaccountofanatural,or,atleast,anhabitual,warmthoftemper,whichshewaspleasedtoimputetome.
Iwasthinkingtogiveyouherchargeagainstmeinherownwords,fromoneofherlettersdeliveredtomewithherownhands,ontakingleaveofmeonthelastvisitshehonouredmewith.ButIwillsupplythatchargebyconfessionofmorethanitimports;towit,'ThatIamhaughty,uncontroulable,andviolentinmytemper;'this,Isay;'Impatientofcontradiction,'wasmybeloved'scharge;[fromanybodybutherdearself,sheshouldhavesaid;]'andaimnotatthataffability,thatgentleness,nexttomeekness,which,intheletterIwasgoingto
communicate,shetellsmearethepeculiarandindispensablecharacteristicsofarealfinelady;who,sheispleasedtosay,shouldappeartobegall-lessasadove;andnevershouldknowwhatwarmthorhighspiritis,butinthecauseofreligionorvirtue;orincaseswhereherownhonour,thehonourofafriend,orthatofaninnocentperson,isconcerned.'
Now,Sir,asIneedsmustpleadguiltytothisindictment,doyouthinkIoughtnottoresolveuponasinglelife?--I,whohavesuchanopinionofyoursex,thatIthinkthereisnotonemaninanhundredwhomawomanofsenseandspiritcaneitherhonourorobey,thoughyoumakeuspromiseboth,inthatsolemnformofwordswhichunitesorratherbindsustoyouinmarriage?
WhenIlookrounduponallthemarriedpeopleofmyacquaintance,andseehowtheylive,andwhattheybearwholivebest,Iamconfirmedinmydisliketothestate.
Welldoyoursexcontrivetobringusupfoolsandidiots,inordertomakeusbeartheyokeyoulayuponourshoulders;andthatwemaynotdespiseyoufromourhearts,(aswecertainlyshould,ifwewerebroughtupasyouare,)foryourignorance,asmuchasyouoftenmakeusdo(asitis)foryourinsolence.
These,Sir,aresomeofmynotions.And,withthesenotions,letmerepeatmyquestion,DoyouthinkIoughttomarryatall?
IfImarryeitherasordidoranimperiouswretch,canI,doyouthink,livewithhim?Andoughtamanofacontrarycharacter,forthesakeofeitherofourreputations,tobeplaguedwithme?
LongdidIstandoutagainstalltheoffersmademe,andagainstallthepersuasionsofmymother;and,totellyouthetruth,thelonger,andwiththemoreobstinacy,asthepersonmychoicewouldhavefirstfallenuponwasneitherapprovedbymymother,norbymydearfriend.Thisrivetedmetomypride,andtomyopposition;foralthoughIwas
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convinced,afterawhile,thatmychoicewouldneitherhavebeenprudentnorhappy;andthatthespeciouswretchwasnotwhathehadmademebelievehewas;yetcouldInoteasilythinkofanyotherman;andindeed,fromthedetectionofhim,tookasettledaversiontothewholesex.
AtlastMr.Hickmanofferedhimself;amanworthyofabetterchoice.Hehadthegoodfortune[hethinksitso]tobeagreeable(andtomakehisproposalsagreeable)tomymother.
Astomyself;Iown,thatwereItohavechosenabrother,Mr.Hickmanshouldhavebeentheman;virtuous,sober,sincere,friendly,asheis.ButIwishnottomarry;norknewIthemanintheworldwhomIcouldthinkdeservingofmybelovedfriend.Butneitherofourparentswouldletuslivesingle.
TheaccursedLovelacewasproposedwarmlytoheratonetime;and,whileshewasyetbutindifferenttohim,they,byungeneroususageofhim,(forthen,Sir,hewasnotknowntobeBeelzebubhimself,)andbyendeavouringtoforceherinclinationsinfavourfirstofoneworthlessman,thenofanother,inantipathytohim,throughherfoolishbrother'scaprice,turnedthatindifference(fromthenaturalgenerosityofhersoul)intoaregardwhichsheneverotherwisewouldhavehadforamanofhischaracter.
Mr.Hickmanwasproposedtome.Irefusedhimagainandagain.Hepersisted;mymotherhisadvocate.Itoldhimmydislikeofallmen--ofhim--ofmatrimony--stillhepersisted.Iusedhimwithtyranny--led,indeed,partlybymytemper,partlybydesign;hopingtherebytogetridofhim;tillthepoorman(hischaracterunexceptionablyuniform)stillpersisting,madehimselfameritwithmebyhispatience.Thisbroughtdownmypride,[Inever,Sir,wasaccountedveryungenerous,norquiteungrateful,]andgaveme,atonetime,aninferiorityinmyownopiniontohim;whichlastedjustlongenoughformyfriendstoprevailuponmetopromisehimencouragement,andtoreceivehisaddresses.
Havingdoneso,whentheweather-glassofmypridegotupagain,Ifound
Ihadgonetoofartorecede.Mymotherandmyfriendsbothheldmetoit.YetItriedhim,Ivexedhim,anhundredways;andnotsomuchneitherwithdesigntovexhim,astomakehimhateme,anddeclinehissuit.
Heborethis,however;andgotnothingbutmypity;yetstillmymother,andmyfriend,havingobtainedmypromise,[made,however,nottohim,buttothem,]andbeingwellassuredthatIvaluednomanmorethanMr.Hickman,(whoneveroncedisobligedmeinword,ordeed,orlook,exceptbyhisfoolishperseverance,)insistedupontheperformance.
Whilemydearfriendwasinherunhappyuncertainty,Icouldnotthinkofmarriage;andnow,whatencouragementhaveI?--She,mymonitress,my
guide,mycounsel,gone,forevergone!bywhoseadviceandinstructionsIhopedtoacquitmyselftolerablyinthestatetowhichIcouldnotavoidentering.For,Sir,mymotherissopartiallyMr.Hickman'sfriend,thatIamsure,shouldanydifferencearise,shewouldalwayscensureme,andacquithim;evenwereheungenerousenoughtoremembermeinhisday.
This,Sir,beingmysituation,considerhowdifficultitisformetothinkofmarriage.Wheneverweapprove,wecanfindanhundredgoodreasonstojustifyourapprobation.Wheneverwedislike,wecanfinda
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thousandtojustifyourdislike.Everythinginthelattercaseisanimpediment;everyshadowabugbear.--ThuscanIenumerateandswell,perhaps,onlyimaginarygrievances;'Imustgowhitherhewouldhavemetogo;visitwhomhewouldhavemetovisit:wellasIlovetowrite,(thoughnow,alas!mygrandinducementtowriteisover!)itmustbetowhomhepleases:'andMrs.Hickman(who,asMissHowe,cannotdowrong)wouldhardlyeverbeabletodoright.Thus,thetablesturneduponme,Iamremindedofmyvowedobedience;Madam'dupperhapstomatrimonialperfection,andalltheweddedwarfarepractisedcomfortablyoverbetweenus,(forIshallnotbepassiveunderinsolenttreatment,)tillwebecomecursestoeachother,abye-wordtoourneighbours,andthejestofourownservants.
Buttheremustbebearandforbear,methinkssomewisebodywilltellme:ButwhymustIbeteasedintoastatewherethatmustbenecessarilythecase;whennowIcandoasIplease,andwishonlytobeletalonetodoasbestpleasesme?Andwhat,ineffect,doesmymothersay?'AnnaHowe,younowdoeverythingthatpleasesyou;younowhavenobodytocontroulyou;yougoandyoucome;youdressandyouundress;youriseandyougotorest,justasyouthinkbest;butyoumustbehappierstill,child!'--
Ashow,Madam?
'Why,youmustmarry,mydear,andhavenoneoftheseoptions;but,ineverything,doasyourhusbandcommandsyou.'
Thisisveryhard,youwillown,Sir,forsuchaoneasmetothinkof.Andyet,engagedtoenterintothatstate,asIam,howcanIhelpmyself?Mymotherpressesme;myfriend,mybelovedfriend,writingasfromthedead,pressesme;andyouandMr.Morden,asexecutorsofherwill,remindme;themanisnotafraidofme,[Iamsure,wereItheman,Ishouldnothavehalfhiscourage;]andIthinkIoughttoconcludetopunishhim(theonlyeffectualwayIhavetodoit)forhisperverseadherenceandpersecution,withthegrantofhisownwishes;apunishmentwhichmanyotherswhoenjoytheir'sverycommonlyexperience.
Letmethenassureyou,Sir,thatwhenIcanfind,inthewordsofmycharmingfriendinherwill,writingofhercousinHervey,thatmygriefforherismellowedbytimeintoaremembrancemoresweetthanpainful,thatImaynotbeutterlyunworthyofthepassionamanofsomemerithasforme,Iwillanswertherequestofmydearfriend,sooftenrepeated,andsoearnestlypressed;andMr.Hickmanshallfind,ifhecontinuetodeservemygratitude,thatmyendeavoursshallnotbewantingtomakehimamendsforthepatiencehehashad,andmuststillalittlewhilelongerhavewithme:andthenwillitbehisownfault(Ihopenotmine)ifourmarriageanswernotthosehappyprognostics,whichfilledhergenerouspresagingmind,uponthisview,assheonce,formyencouragement,andtoinducemetoencouragehim,toldme.
Thus,Sir,haveI,inaveryfreemanner,accountedtoyou,astotheexecutorofmybelovedfriend,forallthatrelatestoyou,assuch,toknow;andevenformorethanIneededtodo,againstmyself;onlythatyouwillfindasmuchagainstmeinsomeofherletters;andso,losingnothing,Igainthecharacterofingenuousnesswithyou.
Andthusmuchforthedoublereprimand,onmydelayingmypartoftheperformanceofmydearfriend'swill.
Andnow,whileyouareadmonishingmeonthissubject,letmeremindyou
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ofonegreatarticlerelatingtoyourself:itisfurnishedmebymydearcreature'sposthumouslettertoyou--Ihopeyouwillnotforget,thatthemostbenevolentofhersexexpressesherselfasearnestlyconcernedforyourthoroughreformation,asshedoesformymarrying.You'llseetoit,then,thatherwishesareascompletelyansweredinthatparticular,asyouaredesiroustheyshouldbeinallothers.
Ihave,Iown,disobeyedherinonearticle;andthatis,whereshedesiresIwouldnotputmyselfintomourning.Icouldnothelpit.
IsendthisandmineofSaturdaylasttogether;andwillnotaddanotherword,afterIhavetoldyouthatIthinkmyself
Yourobligedservant,A.HOWE.
LETTERL
MR.BELFORD,TOMISSHOWETHURSDAYNIGHT,OCT.5.
Ireturnyou,Madam,mymostrespectfulthanksforyourcondescendinghint,inrelationtothepiouswishesofyourexaltedfriendformythoroughreformation.
Iwillonlysay,thatitwillbemyearnestandunweariedendeavourtomakethosegenerouswisheseffectual:andIhopefortheDivineblessinguponsuchmyendeavours,orelseIknowtheywillbeinvain.
Icannot,Madam,expresshowmuchIthinkmyselfobligedtoyouforyourfarthercondescension,inwritingtomesofranklythestateofyourpastandpresentmind,inrelationtothesingleandmatrimoniallife.Iftheladybywhom,astheexecutorofherinimitablefriend,Iamthushonoured,hasfailings,neverwerefailingssolovelyinwoman!--Howmuch
morelovely,indeed,thanthevirtuesofmanyofhersex!
ImighthaveventuredintothehandsofsuchaladytheColonel'soriginalletterentire.Theworthygentlemanexceedinglyadmiresyou;andthiscautionwastheeffectofhispolitenessonly,andofhisregardforyou.
Isendyou,Madam,aletterfromLordM.tomyself;andthecopiesofthreeotherswritteninconsequenceofthat.ThesewillacquaintyouwithMr.Lovelace'sdeparturefromEngland,andwithotherparticulars,whichyouwillbecurioustoknow.
Bepleasedtokeeptoyourselfsuchofthecontentsasyourownprudence
willsuggesttoyououghtnottobeseenbyanybodyelse.
Iam,Madam,withtheprofoundestandmostgratefulrespect,
Yourfaithfulandobligedhumbleservant,JOHNBELFORD.
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LORDM.TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.M.HALL,FRIDAY,SEPT.29.
DEARSIR,
MykinsmanLovelaceisnowsettingoutforLondon;proposingtoseeyou,andthentogotoDover,andsoembark.Godsendhimwelloutofthekingdom!
OnMondayhewillbewithyou,Ibelieve.Prayletmebefavouredwithanaccountofallyourconversations;forMr.MowbrayandMr.Tourvillearetobetheretoo;andwhetheryouthinkheisgrownquitehisownmanagain.
WhatImostlywriteforis,towishyoutokeepColonelMordenandhimasunder;andsoIgiveyounoticeofhisgoingtotown.Ishouldbeveryloththereshouldbeanymischiefbetweenthem,asyougavemenoticethattheColonelthreatenedmynephew.Butmykinsmanwouldnotbearthat;sonobodylethimknowthathedid.ButIhopethereisnofear;fortheColoneldoesnot,asIhear,threatennow.Forhisownsake,Iamgladofthat;forthereisnotsuchamanintheworldasmykinsmanissaidtobe,atalltheweapons--aswellhewasnot;hewouldnotbeso
daring.Weshallallheremissthewildfellow.Tobesure,thereisnomanbettercompanywhenhepleases.
Pray,doyounevertravelthirtyorfortymiles?IshouldbegladtoseeyouhereatM.Hall.Itwillbecharitywhenmykinsmanisgone;forwesupposeyouwillbehischiefcorrespondent;althoughhehaspromisedtowritetomyniecesoften.Butheisveryapttoforgethispromises;toushisrelationsparticularly.Godpreserveusall;Amen!prays
Yourveryhumbleservant,M.
LETTERLII
MR.BELFORD,TOLORDM.LONDON,TUESDAYNIGHT,OCT.3.
MYLORD,
IobeyyourLordship'scommandswithgreatpleasure.
YesterdayintheafternoonMr.Lovelacemademeavisitatmylodgings.AsIwasinexpectationofonefromColonelMordenaboutthesametime,Ithoughtpropertocarryhimtoatavernwhichneitherofusfrequented,(onpretenceofahalf-appointment;)orderingnoticetobesentmethither,iftheColonelcame;andMr.LovelacesenttoMowbray,andTourville,andMr.DolemanofUxbridge,(whocametotowntotakeleaveofhim,)toletthemknowwheretofindus.
Mr.Lovelaceistoowellrecovered,Iwasgoingtosay.Ineversawhimmoregay,lively,andhandsome.Wehadagooddealofblusteraboutsome
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partsofthetrustIhadengagedin;anduponfreedomsIhadtreatedhimwith;inwhich,hewouldhaveit,thatIhadexceededouragreed-uponlimits;butonthearrivalofourthreeoldcompanions,andanephewofMr.Doleman's,(whohadagoodwhilebeendesiroustopassanhourwithMr.Lovelace,)itblewoffforthepresent.
Mr.MowbrayandMr.Tourvillehadalsotakensomeexceptionsatthefreedomsofmypen;andMr.Lovelace,afterhisway,tookuponhimtoreconcileus;anddiditattheexpenseofallthree;andwithsuchaninfiniterunofhumourandraillery,thatwehadnothingtodobuttolaughatwhathesaid,andatoneanother.Icandealtolerablywithhimatmypen;butinconversationhehasnoequal.Inshort,itwashisday.Hewasglad,hesaid,tofindhimselfalive;andhistwofriends,clappingandrubbingtheirhandstwentytimesinanhour,declared,thatnow,oncemore,hewasallhimself--thecharming'stfellowintheworld;andtheywouldfollowhimtothefarthestpartoftheglobe.
Ithrewaburuponhiscoatnow-and-then;butnonewouldstick.
YourLordshipknows,thattherearemanythingswhichoccasionaroarofapplauseinconversation,whentheheartisopen,andmenareresolvedtobemerry,whichwillneitherbearrepeating,northinkingofafterwards.Commonthings,inthemouthofamanweadmire,andwhosewithaspasseduponusforsterling,become,inagayhour,uncommon.Wewatchevery
turnofsuchaone'scountenance,andareresolvedtolaughwhenhesmiles,evenbeforeheutterswhatweareexpectingtoflowfromhislips.
Mr.Dolemanandhisnephewtookleaveofusbytwelve,MowbrayandTourvillegrewverynoisybyone,andwerecarriedoffbytwo.WinenevermovesMr.Lovelace,notwithstandingavivacitywhichgenerallyhelpsonover-gayspirits.Astomyself,thelittlepartIhadtakeninthegaietykeptmeunconcerned.
TheclockstruckthreebeforeIcouldgethimintoanyseriousorattentiveway--sonaturaltohimisgaietyofheart;andsuchstrongholdhadthelivelinessoftheeveningtakenofhim.Hisconversation,
youknow,myLord,whenhisheartisfree,runsofftothebottomwithoutanydregs.
Butafterthathour,andwhenwethoughtofparting,hebecamealittlemoreserious:andthenhetoldmehisdesigns,andgavemeaplanofhisintendedtour;wishingheartilythatIcouldhaveaccompaniedhim.
Wepartedaboutfour;henotalittledissatisfiedwithme;forwehadsometalkaboutsubjects,which,hesaid,helovednottothinkof;towhit,MissHarlowe'swill;myexecutorship;papersIhadinconfidencecommunicatedtothatadmirablelady(withnounfriendlydesign,IassureyourLordship;)andheinsistingupon,andIrefusing,thereturnofthelettershehadwrittentome,fromthetimethathehadmadehisfirst
addressestoher.
Hewouldseemeonceagain,hesaid;anditwouldbeuponveryilltermsifIcompliednotwithhisrequest.WhichIbidhimnotexpect.But,thatImightnotdenyhimeverything,Itoldhim,thatIwouldgivehimacopyofthewill;thoughIwassure,Isaid,whenhereadit,hewouldwishhehadneverseenit.
Ihadamessagefromhimabouteleventhismorning,desiringmetonameaplaceatwhichtodinewithhim,andMowbray,andTourville,forthe
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lasttime:andsoonafteranotherfromColonelMorden,invitingmetopasstheeveningwithhimattheBedford-headinCovent-Garden.And,thatImightkeepthematdistancefromoneanother,IappointedMr.LovelaceattheEagleinSuffolk-street.
ThereImethim,andthetwoothers.Webeganwhereweleftoffatourlastparting;andwereveryhighwitheachother.But,atlast,allwasmadeup,andheofferedtoforgetandforgiveeverything,onconditionthatIwouldcorrespondwithhimwhileabroad,andcontinuetheserieswhichhadbeenbrokenthroughbyhisillness;andparticularlygivehim,asIhadoffered,acopyofthelady'slastwill.
Ipromisedhim:andhethenfelltorallyingmeonmygravity,andonmyreformation-schemes,ashecalledthem.Aswewalkedabouttheroom,expectingdinnertobebroughtin,helaidhishanduponmyshoulder;thenpushedmefromhimwithacurse;walkingroundme,andsurveyingmefromheadtofoot;thencallingfortheobservationsoftheothers,heturnedrounduponhisheel,andwithoneofhispeculiarwildairs,'Ha,ha,ha,ha,'burstheout,'thatthesesour-facedproselytesshouldtakeitintotheirheadsthattheycannotbepious,withoutforfeitingboththeirgood-natureandgood-manners!--Why,Jack,'turningmeabout,'pr'ytheelookup,man!--Dostthounotknow,thatreligion,ifithastakenproperholdoftheheart,isthemostcheerfulcountenance-makerintheworld?--IhaveheardmybelovedMissHarlowesayso:andsheknew,
ornobodydid.Andwasnotheraspectabenignproofoftheobservation?Butthythesewamblingsinthycursedgizzard,andthyawkwardgrimaces,Iseethou'rtbutanoviceinityet!--Ah,Belford,Belford,thouhastaconfoundedparcelofbriersandthornstotrampleoverbarefoot,beforereligionwillilluminatethesegloomyfeatures!'
IgiveyourLordshipthisaccount,inanswertoyourdesiretoknow,ifIthinkhimthemanhewas.
Inourconversationatdinner,hewasbalancingwhetherheshouldsetoutthenextmorning,orthemorningafter.Butfindinghehadnothingtodo,andCol.Mordenbeingintown,(which,however,Itoldhimnotof,)Iturnedthescale;andheagreeduponsettingoutto-morrowmorning;they
toseehimembark;andIpromisedtoaccompanythemforamorning'sride(astheyproposedtheirhorses);butsaid,thatImustreturnintheafternoon.
Withmuchreluctancetheyletmegotomyevening'sappointment:theylittlethoughtwithwhom:forMr.Lovelacehadputitasacaseofhonourtoallofus,whether,ashehadbeentoldthatMr.MordenandMr.JamesHarlowehadthrownoutmenacesagainsthim,heoughttoleavethekingdomtillhehadthrownhimselfintheirway.
Mowbraygavehisopinion,thatheoughttoleaveitlikeamanofhonourashewas;andifhedidnottakethosegentlementotaskfortheiropprobriousspeeches,thatatleastheshouldbeseenbytheminpublic
beforehewentaway;elsetheymightgivethemselvesairs,asifhehadleftthekingdominfearofthem.
Tothishehimselfsomuchinclined,thatitwaswithdifficultyIpersuadedhim,that,astheyhadneitherofthemproceededtoadirectandformalchallenge;astheyknewhehadnotmadehimselfdifficultofaccess;andashehadalreadydonethefamilyinjuryenough;anditwasMissHarlowe'searnestdesire,thathewouldbecontentwiththat;hehadnoreason,fromanypointofhonour,todelayhisjourney;especiallyashehadsojustamotiveforhisgoing,astheestablishingofhishealth;
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andashemightreturnthesooner,ifhesawoccasionforit.
IfoundtheColonelinaverysolemnway.WehadagooddealofdiscourseuponthesubjectofcertainletterswhichhadpassedbetweenusinrelationtoMissHarlowe'swill,andtoherfamily.Hehassomeaccountstosettlewithhisbanker;which,hesays,willbeadjustedto-morrow;andonThursdayheproposestogodownagain,totakeleaveofhisfriends;andthenintendstosetoutdirectlyforItaly.
IwishMr.Lovelacecouldhavebeenprevailedupontotakeanyothertour,thanthatofFranceandItaly.IdidproposeMadridtohim;buthelaughedatme,andtoldme,thattheproposalwasincharacterfromamule;andfromonewhowasbecomeasgraveasaSpaniardoftheoldcut,atninety.
IexpressedtotheColonelmyapprehensions,thathiscousin'sdyinginjunctionswouldnothavetheforceuponhimthatweretobewished.
'Theyhavegreatforceuponme,Mr.Belford,'saidhe;'oroneworldwouldnothaveheldMr.Lovelaceandmethuslong.ButmyintentionistogotoFlorence;andnottolaymybonesthere,asuponmycousin'sdeathItoldyouIthoughttodo;buttosettleallmyaffairsinthoseparts,andthentocomeover,andresideuponalittlepaternalestateinKent,whichisstrangelygonetoruininmyabsence.Indeed,wereIto
meetMr.Lovelace,eitherhereorabroad,Imightnotbeanswerablefortheconsequence.'
Hewouldhaveengagedmeforto-morrow.ButhavingpromisedtoattendMr.Lovelaceonhisjourney,asIhavementioned,Isaid,Iwasobligedtogooutoftown,andwasuncertainastothetimeofmyreturnintheevening.AndsoIamtoseehimonThursdaymorningatmyownlodgings.
IwilldomyselfthehonourtowriteagaintoyourLordshipto-morrownight.Meantime,Iam,myLord,
YourLordship's,&c.
LETTERLIII
MR.BELFORD,TOLORDM.WEDN.NIGHT,OCT.4.
MYLORD,
IamjustreturnedfromattendingMr.LovelaceasfarasGad's-Hill,nearRochester.Hewasexceedinggayalltheway.MowbrayandTourvillearegoneonwithhim.Theywillseehimembark,andundersail;andpromise
tofollowhiminamonthortwo;fortheysay,thereisnolivingwithouthim,nowheisoncemorehimself.
HeandIpartedwithgreatandevensolemntokensofaffection;butyetnotwithoutgayintermixtures,asIwillacquaintyourLordship.
Takingmeaside,andclaspinghisarmsaboutme,'Adieu,dearBelford!'saidhe:'mayyouproceedinthecourseyouhaveenteredupon!--WhateverairsIgivemyself,thischarmingcreaturehasfastholdofmehere--[clappinghishanduponhisheart]:andImusteitherappearwhatyousee
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me,orbewhatIsolatelywas--Othedivinecreature!'liftinguphiseyes----
'ButifIlivetocometoEngland,andyouremainfixedinyourpresentway,andcangivemeencouragement,Ihoperathertofollowyourexample,thantoridiculeyouforit.Thiswill[forIhadgivenhimacopyofit]Iwillmakethecompanionofmysolitaryhours.Youhavetoldmeapartofitsmelancholycontents;andthat,andherposthumousletter,shallbemystudy;andtheywillpreparemeforbeingyourdisciple,ifyouholdon.
'You,Jack,maymarry,'continuedhe;'andIhaveawifeinmyeyeforyou.--Onlythou'rtsuchanawkwardmortal:'[hesawmeaffected,andthoughttomakemesmile:]'butwedon'tmakeourselves,exceptitbeworsebyourdress.Thouartinmourningnow,aswellasI:butifeverthyridiculousturnleadtheeagaintobebeau-brocade,Iwillbedizenthee,asthegirlssay,onmyreturn,tomyownfancy,andaccordingtothyownnaturalappearance----Thoushaltdoctormysoul,andIwilldoctorthybody:thoushaltseewhatacleverfellowIwillmakeofthee.
'Asforme,Ineverwill,Inevercan,marry--thatIwillnottakeafewliberties,andthatIwillnottrytostartsomeofmyformergame,Iwon'tpromise--habitsarenotsoeasilyshakenoff--buttheyshallbebywayofwearing.Soreturnandreformshallgotogether.
'Andnow,thousorrowfulmonkey,whataileththee?'Idolovehim,myLord.
'Adieu!--Andoncemoreadieu!'--embracingme.'Andwhenthouthinkestthouhastmadethyselfaninterestoutyonder(lookingup)thenputinawordforthyLovelace.'
Joiningcompany,herecommendedtometowriteoften;andpromisedtoletmehearquicklyfromhim;andthathewouldwritetoyourLordship,andtoallhisfamilyround;forhesaid,thatyouhadallbeenmorekindtohimthanhehaddeserved.
Andsoweparted.
Ihope,myLord,forallyournoblefamily'ssake,thatweshallseehimsoonreturn,andreform,ashepromises.
IreturnyourLordshipmyhumblethanksforthehonourofyourinvitationtoM.Hall.ThefirstletterIreceivefromMr.Lovelaceshallgivemetheopportunityofembracingit.Iam,myLord,
Yourmostfaithfulandobedientservant,J.BELFORD.
LETTERLIV
MR.BELFORD,TOLORDM.THURSDAYMORNING,OCT.5.
ItmaybesomesatisfactiontoyourLordship,tohaveabriefaccountofwhathasjustnowpassedbetweenColonelMordenandme.
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WehadagooddealofdiscourseabouttheHarlowefamily,andthosepartsofthelady'swillwhichstillremainunexecuted;afterwhichtheColoneladdressedhimselftomeinamannerwhichgavemesomesurprise.
Heflatteredhimself,hesaid,frommypresenthappyturn,andfrommygoodconstitution,thatIshouldliveagreatmanyyears.Itwasthereforehisrequest,thatIwouldconsenttobehisexecutor;sinceitwasimpossibleforhimtomakeabetterchoice,orpursueabetterexample,thanhiscousinhadset.
Hisheart,hesaidwasinit:thereweresomethingsinhiscousin'swillandhisanalogous:andhehadnamedonepersontome,withwhomhewassureIwouldnotrefusetobejoined:andtowhomheintendedtoapplyforhisconsent,whenhehadobtainedmine.*[Intimating,asfarasIcouldgather,thatitwasMr.Hickman,sonofSirCharlesHickman;towhomIknowyourLordshipisnotastranger:forhesaid,Everyonewhowasdeartohisbelovedcousin,mustbesotohim:andheknewthatthegentlemanwhohehadthoughtsof,wouldhave,besidesmyadviceandassistance,theadviceofoneofthemostsensibleladiesinEngland.]
*Whatisbetweencrotchets,thus[],Mr.BelfordomittedinthetranscriptionofthisLettertoMissHowe.
Hetookmyhand,seeingmeundersomesurprise:youmustnothesitate,muchlessdenyme,Mr.Belford.Indeedyoumustnot.TwothingsIwillassureyouof:thatIhave,asIhope,madeeverythingsoclearthatyoucannothaveanylitigation:andthatIhavedonesojustly,andIhopeitwillbethoughtsogenerously,byallmyrelations,thatamindlikeyour'swillratherhavepleasurethanpainintheexecutionofthistrust.AndthisiswhatIthinkeveryhonestman,whohopestofindanhonestmanforhisexecutor,shoulddo.
Itoldhim,thatIwasgreatlyobligedtohimforhisgoodopinionofme:thatitwassomucheveryman'sdutytobeanhonestman,thatitcouldnotbeinterpretedasvanitytosay,thatIhadnodoubttobefoundso.
ButifIacceptedofthistrust,itmustbeoncondition--
Icouldnamenocondition,hesaid,interruptingme,whichhewouldrefusetocomplywith.
Thiscondition,Itoldhim,was,thatastherewasasgreataprobabilityofhisbeingmysurvivor,asIhis,hewouldpermitmetonamehimformine;and,inthatcase,aweekshouldnotpassbeforeImademywill.
Withallhisheart,hesaid;andthereadier,ashehadnoapprehensionsofsuddenlydying;forwhathehaddoneandrequestedwasreallytheeffectofthesatisfactionhehadtakeninthepartIhadalreadyactedashiscousin'sexecutor;andinmyability,hewaspleasedtoadd:as
wellasinpursuanceofhiscousin'sadviceinthepreambleofherwill;towit;'Thatthiswasaworkwhichshouldbesetaboutinfullhealth,bothofbodyandmind.'
Itoldhim,thatIwaspleasedtohearhimsaythathewasnotinanyapprehensionofsuddenlydying;asthisgavemeassurancethathehadlaidasideallthoughtsofactingcontrarytothedyingrequestofhisbelovedcousin.
Doesitargue,saidhe,smiling,thatifIweretopursueavengeanceso
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justifiableinmyownopinion,ImustbeinapprehensionoffallingbyMr.Lovelace'shand?--Iwillassureyou,thatIhavenofearsofthatsort--butIknowthisisanungratefulsubjecttoyou.Mr.Lovelaceisyourfriend;andIwillallow,thatagoodmanmayhaveafriendshipforabadone,sofarastowishhimwell,withoutcountenancinghiminhisevil.
Iwillassureyou,addedhe,thatIhavenotyetmadeanyresolutionseitherway.Ihavetoldyouwhatforcemycousin'srepeatedrequestshavewithme.Hithertotheyhavewith-heldme--Butletusquitthissubject.
This,Sir[givingmeasealed-upparcel]ismywill.Itiswitnessed.Imadenodoubtofprevailinguponyoutodometherequestedfavour.Ihaveaduplicatetoleavewiththeothergentleman;andanattestedcopy,whichIshalldepositatmybanker's.Atmyreturn,whichwillbeinsixoreightmonthsatfarthest,Iwillallowyoutomakeanexchangeofyour's,ifyouwillhaveitso.Ihaveonlynowtotakeleaveofmyrelationsinthecountry.AndsoGodprotectyou,Mr.Belford!Youwillsoonhearofmeagain.
Hethenverysolemnlyembracedme,asIdidhim:andweparted.
IheartilycongratulateyourLordshiponthenarrowescapeeachgentleman
hashadfromtheother:forIapprehendthattheycouldnothavemetwithoutfatalconsequences.
Time,Ihope,whichsubduesallthings,willsubduetheirresentments.Iam,myLord,
YourLordship'smostfaithfulandobedientservant,J.BELFORD.
SeveralotherletterspassedbetweenMissHoweandMr.Belford,relatingtothedispositionofthepapersandletters;tothepoor'sfund;andtootherarticlesoftheLady'swill:whereinthemethodof
proceedingineachcasewasadjusted.AfterwhichthepaperswerereturnedtoMr.Belford,thathemightorderthetwodirectedcopiesofthemtobetaken.
InoneoftheselettersMr.BelfordrequestsMissHowetogivethecharacterofthefriendshesodearlyloved:'Atask,heimagines,thatwillbeasagreeabletoherself,asworthyofherpen.'
'Iammoreespeciallycurioustoknow,'sayshe,'whatwasthatparticulardispositionofhertime,whichIfindmentionedinaletterwhichIhavejustdiptinto,wherehersisterisenviouslyreproachingheronthatscore.*Thisinformationmayenableme,'sayshe,'toaccountforwhathasoftensurprisedme:
how,atsotenderanage,thisadmirableladybecamemistressofsuchextraordinaryandsuchvariousqualifications.'
*SeeVol.I.LetterXLII.
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findfault,rightorwrong,withthose,whoserectitudeofmindandmannerstheirownculpableheartsgivethemtobeafraid.But,inthebadsenseoftheword,MissClarissaHarloweknewnotwhatpridewas.
Youmay,ifyoutouchuponthissubject,throwinthesesentencesofher's,spokenatdifferenttimes,andondifferentoccasions:
'Personsofaccidentalorshadowymeritmaybeproud:butinbornworthmustbealwaysasmuchaboveconceitasarrogance.'
'Whocanbebetter,ormoreworthy,thantheyshouldbe?And,whoshallbeproudoftalentstheygivenottothemselves?'
'Thedarkestandmostcontemptibleignoranceisthatofnotknowingone'sself;andthatallwehave,andallweexcelin,isthegiftofGod.'
'Allhumanexcellenceisbutcomparative--therearepersonswhoexcelus,asmuchaswefancyweexcelthemeanest.'
'Inthegeneralscaleofbeings,thelowestisasuseful,andasmuchalinkofthegreatchain,asthehighest.'
'Thegracethatmakeseveryothergraceamiable,isHUMILITY.'
'Thereisbutonepridepardonable;thatofbeingabovedoingabaseordishonourableaction.'
Suchwerethesentimentsbywhichthisadmirableyoungladyendeavouredtoconductherself,andtoregulateherconducttoothers.
And,intruth,neverwereaffabilityandcomplacency(graciousness,somehavecalledit)moreeminentinanyperson,manorwoman,thaninher,tothosewhoputitinherpowertoobligethem:insomuchthatthebenefittedhassometimesnotknownwhichtoprefer--thegracebestowed,orthemannerinwhichitwasconferred.
Ithasbeenobserved,thatwhatwassaidofHenryIV.ofFrance,mightbe
saidofhermannerofrefusingarequest:Thatshegenerallysentfromherpresencethepersonrefusednearlyaswellsatisfiedasifshehadgrantedit.
Thenshehadsuchasacredregardtotruth.--Youcannot,Sir,expatiatetoomuchuponthistopic.Idaresay,thatinallherletters,inallthelettersofthewretch,herveracitywillnotoncebefoundimpeachable,althoughhercalamitiesweresoheavy,thehorridman'swilessosubtle,andherstrugglestofreeherselffromthemsoactive.
Hercharitywassogreat,thatshealwayschosetodefendoracquitwherethefaultwasnotsoflagrantthatitbecameapieceofjusticetocondemnit;andwasalwaysanadvocateforanabsentperson,whose
discretionwascalledinquestion,withouthavinggivenmanifestproofsofindiscretion.
OnceIremember,inalargecircleofladies,everyoneofwhich[Iamongtherest]havingcensuredagenerally-reportedindiscretioninayounglady--Come,myMissHowe,saidshe,[forwehadagreedtotakeeachothertotaskwheneitherthoughttheothergaveoccasionforit;andwhenbyblamingeachotherweintendedageneralreprehension,which,assheusedtosay,itwouldappeararrogantorassumingtolevelmoreproperly,]letmebeMissFannyDarlington.Thenremovingoutofthecircle,and
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standingup,HereIstand,unworthyofaseatwiththerestofthecompany,tillIhaveclearedmyself.Andnow,supposemetobeher,letmehearyoucharge,anddoyouhearwhatthepoorculpritcansaytoitinherowndefence.Andthenansweringtheconjecturalandunprovedcircumstances,bycircumstancesasfairlytobesupposedfavourable,shebroughtofftriumphantlythecensuredlady;andsomuchtoeveryone'ssatisfaction,thatshewasledtoherchair,andvotedadoublerankinthecircle,asthereinstatedMissFannyDarlington,andasMissClarissaHarlowe.
Veryfewpersons,sheusedtosay,wouldbecondemned,orevenaccused,inthecirclesofladies,weretheypresent;itisgenerous,therefore,nay,itisbutjust,saidshe,totakethepartoftheabsent,ifnotflagrantlyculpable.
Butthoughwisdomwasherbirthright,asImaysay,yetshehadnotlivedyearsenowtopretendtosomuchexperienceastoexemptherfromthenecessityofsometimesalteringheropinionbothofpersonsandthings;but,whenshefoundherselfobligedtodothis,shetookcarethattheparticularinstanceofmistakenworthinessinthepersonshouldnotnarroworcontractheralmostuniversalcharityintogeneraldoubtorjealousy.AninstanceofwhatImeanoccurstomymemory.
Beingupbraided,byaseverecensure,withaperson'sprovingbase,whom
shehadfrequentlydefended,andbywhosebasenessmybelovedfriendwasasufferer;'You,Madam,'saidshe,'hadmorepenetrationthansuchayoungcreatureasIcanpretendtohave.Butalthoughhumandepravitymay,Idoubt,oftenerjustifythosewhojudgeharshly,thanhumanrectitudecanthosewhojudgefavourably,yetwillInotpartwithmycharity.Nevertheless,forthefuture,Iwillendeavour,incaseswherethejudgmentofmyeldersisagainstme,tomakemineconsistentwithcautionandprudence.'
Indeed,whenshewasconvincedofanyerrorormistake,(howeverseeminglyderogatorytoherjudgmentandsagacity,)noonewaseversoacknowledging,soingenuous,asshe.'Itwasamerit,'sheusedtosay,'nextindegreetothatofhavingavoidederror,franklytoownanerror.
Andthattheofferingatanexcuseinablameablemanner,wastheundoubtedmarkofadisingenuous,ifnotofaperversemind.'
ButIoughttoadd,onthishead,[ofhergreatcharitywherecharacterwasconcerned,andwheretherewasroomforcharity,]thatshewasalwaysdeservedlysevereinherreprehensionsofawilfulandstudiedvileness.Howcouldshethenforgivethewretchbywhosepremeditatedvillanyshewasentangled?
Youmusteverywhereinsistuponit,thathaditnotbeenforthestupidpersecutionsofherrelations,sheneverwouldhavebeeninthepowerofthathorridLovelace.Andyet,onseveraloccasions,sheacknowledgedfrankly,thatwereperson,andaddress,andalliance,tobeallowedlythe
principalattractivesinthechoiceofalover,itwouldnothavebeendifficultforhereyetomisleadherheart.
Whenshewaslastwithme,(threehappyweekstogether!)ineveryvisitthewretchmadeher,helefthermoredissatisfiedwithhimthanintheformer.Andyethisbehaviourbeforeherwastoospecioustohavebeenveryexceptionabletoawomanwhohadalessshareofthatcharmingdelicacy,andofthatpenetration,whichsomuchdistinguishedher.
Inobediencetothecommandsofhergloomyfather,onhisallowingherto
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difficultytoyou,thehigherthecomplimenttothecompany.Doyouthinkyouareamongthosewhoknownothowtomakeallowances?youshouldsing,mylove,lestthereshouldbeanybodypresentwhomaythinkyourexcusesowingtoaffectation.'
Atanothertime,whenIhadtrulyobservedthatayoungladypresentsungbetterthanI;andthat,therefore,Ichosenottosingbeforethatlady--'Fie,saidshe,(drawingmeononeside,)isnotthispride,myNancy?Doesitnotlookasifyourprincipalmotivetoobligewastoobtainapplause?Agenerousmindwillnotscrupletogiveadvantagetoapersonofmerit,thoughnotalwaystoherownadvantage.Andyetshewillhaveahighmeritindoingthat.Supposingthisexcellentpersonabsent,who,mydear,ifyourexamplespread,shallsingafteryou?Youknoweveryoneelsemustbebutasafoiltoyou.IndeedImusthaveyouasmuchsuperiortootherladiesinthesesmallerpoints,asyouareingreater.'Soshewaspleasedtosaytoshameme.Shewassomuchabovereserveasdisguise.Socommunicativethatnoyoungladycouldbeinhercompanyhalfanhour,andnotcarryawayinstructionwithher,whateverwasthetopic.Yetallsweetlyinsinuated;nothinggivenwiththeairofprescription;sothatwhilesheseemedtoaskaquestionforinformation-sake,shedroptintheneedfulinstruction,andlefttheinstructedunabletodecidewhetherthethought(whichbeingstarted,she,theinstructed,couldimprove)cameprimarilyfromherself,orfromthesweetinstructress.
Shehadaprettyhandatdrawing,whichsheobtainedwithverylittleinstruction.Hertimewastoomuchtakenuptoallow,thoughtosofineanart,theattentionwhichwasnecessarytomakehergreatlyexcelinit:andsheusedtosay,'Thatshewasafraidofaimingattoomanythings,forfearsheshouldnotbetolerableatanything.'
Forheryears,andheropportunities,shewasanextraordinaryjudgeofpainting.Inthis,asineverythingelse,naturewasherart,herartwasnature.Sheevenprettilyperformedinit.Hergrandfather,forthisreason,bequeathedtoherallthefamilypictures.Charmingwasherfancy:alikesweetandeasywaseverytouchofherpencilandherpen.Yetherjudgmentexceededherperformance.Shedidnotpractiseenough
toexcelintheexecutivepart.Shecouldnotineverythingexcel.But,uponthewhole,sheknewwhateverysubjectrequiredaccordingtothenatureofit;inotherwords,wasanabsolutemistressoftheshould-be.
Togiveafamiliarinstanceforthesakeofyoungladies;she(untaught)observedwhenbutachild,thatthesun,moon,andstars,neverappearedatonce;andwerethereforenevertobeinonepiece;thatbears,tigers,lions,werenotnativesofanEnglishclimate,andshouldnotthereforehaveplaceinanEnglishlandscape;thattheseravagersoftheforestconsortednotwithlambs,kids,orfawns;norkites,hawks,andvultures,withdoves,partridges,orpheasants.
And,alas!sheknew,beforeshewasnineteenyearsofage,byfatalexperiencesheknew!thatallthesebeastsandbirdsofpreywereoutdone,intreacherouscruelty,byMAN!Vile,barbarous,plotting,destructiveman!who,infinitelylessexcusablethanthose,destroys,throughwantonnessandsport,whatthoseonlydestroythroughhungerandnecessity!
Themerepretenderstothosebranchesofsciencewhichsheaimedatacquiringsheknewhowtodetect;andfromallnature.Propriety,anotherwordfornature,was(asIhavehinted)herlaw,asitisthe
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playinghigh.'Exceptfortrifles,'sheusedtosay,'shewouldnotsubmittochancewhatshewasalreadysureof.'
Atothertimes,'sheshouldmakeherfriendsaveryillcompliment,'shesaid,'ifshesupposedtheywouldwishtobepossessedofwhatofrightbelongedtoher;andsheshouldbeveryunworthy,ifshedesiredtomakeherselfatitletowhatwastheirs.'
'Highgaming,inshort,'sheusedtosay,'wasasordidvice;animmorality;thechildofavarice;andadirectbreachofthatcommandment,whichforbidsustocovetwhatisourneighbour's.'
Shewasexceedinglycharitable;theonlyoneofherfamilythatknewthemeaningoftheword;andthiswithregardbothtothesoulsandthebodiesofthosewhowerethewell-chosenobjectsofherbenevolence.Shekeptalistofthese,whomsheusedtocallherPoor,enteringoneuponitasanotherwasprovidedfor,bydeath,oranyotherway;butalwaysmadeareserve,nevertheless,forunforeseencases,andforaccidentaldistresses.Anditmustbeowned,thatintheprudentdistributionofthem,shehadneitherexamplenorequal.
Theaged,theblind,thelame,thewidow,theorphan,theunsuccessfulindustrious,wereparticularlytheobjectsofit;andthecontributingtotheschoolingofsome,totheputtingouttotradesandhusbandrythe
childrenofothersofthelabouringorneedypoor,andsettingthemforwardattheexpirationoftheirservitude,werehergreatdelights;aswasthegivinggoodbookstoothers;and,whenshehadopportunity,theinstructingthepoorersortofherhonestneighbours,andfather'stenants,intheuseofthem.'Thatcharity,'sheusedtosay,'whichprovidesforthemorals,aswellasforthebodilywantsofthepoor,givesadoublebenefittothepublic,asitaddstothenumberofthehopefulwhatittakesfromthatoftheprofligate.Andcantherebe,intheeyesofthatGod,shewaswonttosay,whorequiresnothingsomuchfromusasactsofbeneficencetooneanother,acharitymoreworthy?'
HeruncleAntony,whenhecametosettleinEnglandwithhisvastfortuneobtainedintheIndies,usedtosay,'Thisgirlbyhercharitieswill
bringdownablessinguponusall.'Anditmustbeownedtheytrustedprettymuchtothispresumption.
ButIneednotsaymoreonthishead:norperhapswasitnecessarytosaysomuch;sincethecharitablebequestsinherwillsufficientlysetforthherexcellenceinthisbranchofduty.
Shewasextremelymoderateinherdiet.'Quantityinfood,'sheusedtosay,'wasmoretoberegardedthanquality;thatafullmealwasthegreatenemybothtostudyandindustry:thatawell-builthouserequiredbutlittlerepairs.'
Butthismoderationinherdiet,sheenjoyed,withadelicateframeof
body,afinestateofhealth;wasalwaysserene,lively;cheerful,ofcourse.AndIneverknewbutofoneillnessshehad;andthatwasbyaviolentcoldcaughtinanopenchaise,byasuddenstormofhailandrain,inaplacewherewasnoshelter;andwhichthrewherintoafever,attendedwithdangeroussymptoms,thatnodoubtwerelightenedbyhertemperance;butwhichgaveherfriends,whothenknewhervalue,infiniteapprehensionsforher.*
*Inhercommon-placebookshehasthefollowingnoteuponthe
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recollectionofthisillnessinthetimeofherdistress:
'Inadangerousillness,withwhichIwasvisitedafewyearsbeforeIhadtheunhappinesstoknowthisungratefulman![wouldtoHeavenIhaddiedinit!]mybedwassurroundedbymydearrelations--father,mother,brother,sister,mytwouncles,weeping,kneeling,roundme,thenputuptheirvowstoHeavenformyrecovery;andI,fearingthatIshoulddragdownwithmetomygraveoneorotherofmysorrowingfriends,wishedandprayedtorecoverfortheirsakes.--Alas!howshallparentsinsuchcasesknowwhattowishfor!Howhappyforthem,andforme,hadIthenbeendeniedtotheirprayers!ButnowIameasedofthatcare.Allthosedearrelationsarelivingstill--butnotoneofthem(suchastheythink,hasbeentheheinousnessofmyerror!)but,farfrombeinggrieved,wouldrejoicetohearofmydeath.'
Inallherreadings,andherconversationsuponthem,shewasfonderoffindingbeautiesthanblemishes,andchosetoapplaudbutauthorsandbooks,whereshecouldfindtheleastroomforit.Yetsheusedtolamentthatcertainwritersofthefirstclass,whowerecapableofexaltingvirtue,andofputtingviceoutofcountenance,toogenerallyemployedthemselvesinworksofimaginationonly,uponsubjectsmerelyspeculative,disinterestingandunedifying,fromwhichnousefulmoralorexamplecouldbedrawn.
Butshewasaseverecensurerofpiecesofalightorindecentturn,whichhadatendencytocorruptthemoralsofyouth,toconveypollutedimages,ortowoundreligion,whetherinitself,orthroughthesidesofitsprofessors,andthis,whoeverweretheauthors,andhowadmirablesoevertheexecution.SheoftenpitiedthecelebratedDr.Swiftforsoemployinghisadmirablepen,thatapureeyewasafraidoflookingintohisworks,andapureearofhearinganythingquotedfromthem.'Suchauthors,'sheusedtosay,'werenothonesttotheirowntalents,norgratefultotheGodwhogavethem.'Norwouldshe,ontheseoccasions,admittheirbeautiesasapalliation;onthecontrary,shehelditasanaggravationoftheircrime,thattheywhoaresocapableofmendingtheheart,shouldinanyplacesshowacorruptoneinthemselves;whichmust
weakentheinfluencesoftheirgoodworks;andpulldownwithonehandwhattheybuildupwiththeother.
Allshesaidandallshedidwasaccompaniedwithanaturaleaseanddignity,whichsetheraboveaffectation,orthesuspicionofit;insomuchthatthatdegradingfault,sogenerallyimputedtoalearnedwoman,wasneverlaidtohercharge.For,withallherexcellencies,shewasforwardertohearthanspeak;andhence,nodoubt,derivednosmallpartofherimprovement.
AlthoughshewaswellreadintheEnglish,French,andItalianpoets,andhadreadthebesttranslationsoftheLatinclassics;yetseldomdidshequoteorrepeatfromthem,eitherinherlettersorconversation,though
exceedinglyhappyinatenaciousmemory;principallythroughmodesty,andtoavoidtheimputationofthataffectationwhichIhavejustmentioned.
Mr.Wyerleyoncesaidofher,shehadsuchafundofknowledgeofherown,andmadenaturallysuchfineobservationsuponpersonsandthings,beingcapable,bytheEGG,[thatwashisfamiliarexpression,]ofjudgingofthebird,thatshehadseldomeitherroomornecessityforforeignassistances.
Butitwasplain,fromherwholeconductandbehaviour,thatshehadnot
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sogoodanopinionofherself,howeverdeserved;since,whenevershewasurgedtogivehersentimentsonanysubject,althoughallshethoughtfittosaywasclearanintelligible,yetsheseemedinhastetohavedonespeaking.Herreasonforit,Iknow,wastwofold;thatshemightnotlosethebenefitofotherpeople'ssentiments,byengrossingtheconversation;andlest,aswereherwords,sheshouldbepraisedintoloquaciousness,andsoforfeitthegoodopinionwhichapersonalwaysmaintainswithherfriends,whoknowswhenshehassaidenough.--Itwas,finally,arulewithher,'toleaveherhearerswishinghertosaymore,ratherthantogivethemcausetoshow,bytheirinattention,anuneasinessthatshehadsaidsomuch.'--
Youarecurioustoknowtheparticulardistributionofhertime;whichyousupposewillhelpyoutoaccountforwhatyouownyourselfsurprisedat;towit,howsoyoungaladycouldmakeherselfmistressofsomanyaccomplishments.
Iwillpremise,thatshewasfrominfancyinuredtoriseearlyinamorning,byanexcellent,and,asImaysay,alearnedwoman,Mrs.Norton,towhosecare,wisdom,andexample,shewasbeholdenfortheground-workofhertasteandacquirements,whichmeetingwithsuchassistancesfromthedivinesIhavenamed,andwithsuchagenius,madeitthelesswonderthatshesurpassedmostofherageandsex.
Hersex,didIsay?Whathonourtotheotherdoesthisimply!Whenonemightchallengetheproudestpedantofthemall,tosayhehasbeendisciplinedintogreaterimprovement,thanshehadmadefromthemereforceofgeniusandapplication.Butitisdemonstrabletoallwhoknowhowtomakeobservationsontheiracquaintanceofbothsexes,arrogantassomeareoftheirsuperficialities,thataladyateighteen,taketheworldthrough,ismoreprudentandconversablethanamanattwenty-five.Icanprovethisbynineteeninstancesoutoftwentyinmyownknowledge.Yethowdothesepoorboastersvaluethemselvesupontheadvantagestheireducationgivesthem!Whohasnotseensomeoneofthem,justcomefromtheuniversity,disdainfullysmileatamistakenorill-pronouncedwordfromalady,whenhersensehasbeenclear,andhersentimentsjust;andwhenhecouldnothimselfutterasinglesentencefittoberepeated,but
whathehadborrowedfromtheauthorshehadbeenobligedtostudy,asapainfulexercisetoslowandcreepingparts?ButhowIdigress:
Thisexcellentyoungladyusedtosay,'itwasincredibletothinkwhatmightbedonebyearlyrising,andbylongdayswellfilledup.'
Itmaybeadded,thatshehadcalculatedaccordingtothepracticeoftoomany,shehadactuallylivedmoreyearsatsixteen,thantheyhadattwenty-six.
Shewasofopinion,'thatnoonecouldspendtheirtimeproperly,whodidnotlivebysomerule:whodidnotappropriatethehours,asnearlyasmightbe,toparticularpurposesandemployments.'
Inconformitytothisself-setlesson,theusualdistributionofthetwenty-fourhours,whenlefttoherownchoice,wereasfollows:
ForRESTsheallottedSIXhoursonly.
Shethoughtherselfnotsowell,andsoclearinherintellects,[somuchalive,sheusedtosay,]ifsheexceededthisproportion.Ifshesleptnot,shechosetorisesooner.Andinwinterhadherfirelaid,anda
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Andindeed,asIusedtotellher,greatlyasIadmiredherinallmethods,Icouldnotbringmyselftothis,mightIhavehadtheworldformyreward.
Ihadindeedtoomuchimpatienceinmytemper,toobservesucharegularityinaccountingbetweenmeandmyself.Isatisfiedmyselfinalump-account,asImaycallit,ifIhadnothinggreatlywrongtoreproachmyself,whenIlookedbackonapastweek,asshehadtaughtmetodo.
Forsheusedindulgentlytosay,'IdonotthinkALLIdonecessaryforanothertodo;norevenformyself;butwhenitismorepleasantformetokeepsuchanaccount,thantoletitalone,whymayInotproceedinmysupererogatories?--Therecanbenoharminit.Itkeepsupmyattentiontoaccounts;whichonedaymaybeofusetomeinmorematerialinstances.Thosewhowillnotkeepastrictaccount,seldomlongkeepany.Ineglectnotmoreusefulemploymentsforit.Anditteachesmetobecovetousoftime;theonlythingofwhichwecanbeallowablycovetous;sincewelivebutonceinthisworld;and,whengone,aregonefromitforever.'
Shealwaysreconciledthenecessityunderwhichtheseinterventions,asshecalledthem,laidher,ofnow-and-thenbreakingintosomeofher
appropriations;saying,'Thatwasgoodsense,andgoodmannerstoo,inthecommonlesson,WhenatRome,doastheydoatRome.Andthattobeeasyofpersuasion,inmatterswhereonecouldobligewithoutendangeringvirtue,orworthyhabits,wasanapostolicalexcellency;since,ifapersonconformedwithaviewofmakingherselfaninterestinherfriend'saffections,inordertobeheededingreaterpoints,itwasimitatingHisexample,whobecameallthingstoallmen,thatHemightgainsome.'Norisittobedoubted,hadlifebeensparedher,thatthesweetnessofhertemper,andhercheerfulpiety,wouldhavemadevirtueandreligionappearsolovely,thatherexamplewouldhavehadnosmallinfluenceuponthemindsandmannersofthosewhowouldhavehadthehonourofconversingwithher.
OMr.Belford!Icanwritenofurtheronthissubject.For,lookingintotheaccount-bookforotherparticulars,Imetwithamostaffectingmemorandum;whichbeingwrittenontheextremeedgeofthepaper,withafinepen,andinthedearcreature'ssmallesthand,Isawnotbefore.--Thisitis;written,Isuppose,atsomecalamitousperiodafterthedaynamedinit--helpmetocurse,toblastthemonsterwhogaveoccasionforit!----
APRIL10.Theaccountconcluded!Andwithitallmyworldlyhopesandprospects!
***
Itakeupmypen;butnottoapologizeformyexecration.--OncemoreIpraytoGodtoavengemeofhim!--Me,Isay--formineistheloss--her'sthegain.
OSir!youdidnot--youcouldnotknowher,asIknewher!Neverwassuchanexcellence!--Sowarm,yetsocoolafriend!--SomuchwhatIwishtobe,butnevershallbe!--For,alas!mystay,myadviser,mymonitress,mydirectress,isgone!--forevergone!--Shehonouredmewiththetitle
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IwritetoshowyouthatIamincapableofslightingeventheminutestrequestsofanabsentanddistantfriend.YetyoumaybelievethattherecannotbeanygreatalterationsinthelittletimethatyouhavebeenoutofEngland,withrespecttothesubjectsofyourinquiry.NeverthelessIwillanswertoeach,forthereasonabovegiven;andforthereasonyoumention,thateventrifles,andchit-chat,areagreeablefromfriendtofriend,andoffriends,andevenofthosetowhomwegivetheimportanceofdeemingthemourfoes,whenweareabroad.
First,then,astomyreformation-scheme,asyoucallit,IhopeIgoonverywell.Iwishyouhadentereduponthelike,andcouldsaysotoo.Youwouldthenfindinfinitelymorepeaceofmind,thanyouarelikelyeverotherwisetobeacquaintedwith.WhenIlookbackuponthesweepthathasbeenmadeamongusinthetwoorthreepastyears,andforwarduponwhatmaystillhappen,Ihardlythinkmyselfsecure;thoughoflateIhavebeenguidedbyotherlightsthanthoseofsenseandappetite,whichhavehurriedsomanyofourconfraternityintoworldlyruin,ifnotintoeternalperdition.
Iamveryearnestinmywishestobeadmittedintothenuptialstate.ButIthinkIoughttopasssometimeasaprobationary,till,bysteadinessinmygoodresolutions,Icanconvincesomewoman,whomI
couldloveandhonour,andwhoseworthyexamplemightconfirmmymorals,thatthereisonelibertinewhohadthegracetoreform,beforeageordiseaseputitoutofhispowertosinon.
TheHarlowescontinueinconsolable;andIdaresaywilltotheendoftheirlives.
MissHoweisnotyetmarried;butIhavereasontothinkwillsoon.Ihavethehonourofcorrespondingwithher;andthemoreIknowofher,themoreIadmirethenoblenessofhermind.Shemustbeconscious,thatsheissuperiortohalfoursex,andtomostofherown;whichmaymakehergivewaytoatempernaturallyhastyandimpatient;but,ifshemeetwithcondescensioninherman,[andwhowouldnotveiltoasuperiority
sovisible,ifitbenotexactedwitharrogance?]Idaresayshewillmakeanexcellentwife.
AstoDoleman,thepoormangoesontryingandhopingwithhisempiric.Icannotbutsaythatasthelatterisasensibleandjudiciousman,andnotrash,opinionative,orover-sanguine,Ihavegreathopes(littleasIthinkofquacksandnostrum-mongersingeneral)thathewilldohimgood,ifhiscasewilladmitofit.Myreasonsare--Thatthemanpaysaregularandconstantattendanceuponhim;watches,withhisowneye,everychangeandnewsymptomofhispatient'smalady;varieshisapplicationsastheindicationsvary;fettersnothimselftoruleslaiddownbythefathersoftheart,wholivedmanyhundredyearsago,whendiseases,andthecausesofthem,weredifferent,asthemodesofliving
weredifferentfromwhattheyarenow,aswellasclimatesandaccidents;thatheistohavehisreward,notindailyfees;but(afterthefirstfiveguineasformedicines)inproportionasthepatienthimselfshallfindamendment.
AstoMowbrayandTourville;whatnoveltiescanbeexpected,insoshortatime,frommen,whohavenotsenseenoughtostrikeoutorpursuenewlights,eithergoodorbad;now,especially,thatyouaregone,whowerethesoulofallenterprise,andinparticulartheirsoul.Besides,Iseethembutseldom.Isupposethey'llbeatParisbeforeyoucanreturn
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intermsofresentmentontheoccasion.Oncehesaidtome,thathadhisbelovedcousin'scasebeenthatofacommonseduction,herowncredulityorweaknesscontributingtoherfall,hecouldhaveforgivenyou.But,insomanywords,heassuredme,thathehadnottakenanyresolutions;norhadhedeclaredhimselftothefamilyinsuchawayasshouldbindhimtoresent:onthecontrary,hehasowned,thathiscousin'sinjunctionshavehithertohadtheforceuponhimwhichIcouldwishtheyshouldhave.
Hewentabroadinaweekafteryou.Whenhetookhisleaveofme,hetoldme,thathisdesignwastogotoFlorence;andthathewouldsettlehisaffairsthere;andthenreturntoEngland,andherepasstheremainderofhisdays.
Iwasindeedapprehensivethat,ifyouandheweretomeet,somethingunhappymightfallout;andasIknewthatyouproposedtotakeItaly,andverylikelyFlorence,inyourreturntoFrance,IwasverysolicitoustoprevailuponyoutotakethecourtofSpainintoyourplan.Iamstillso.Andifyouarenottobeprevailedupontodothat,letmeentreatyoutoavoidFlorenceorLeghorninyourreturn,sinceyouhavevisitedbothheretofore.Atleast,letnottheproposalofameetingcomefromyou.
Itwouldbematterofseriousreflectiontome,iftheveryfellow,this
JosephLeman,whogaveyousuchanopportunitytoturnalltheartilleryofhismastersagainstthemselves,andtoplaythemupononeanothertofavouryourplottingpurposes,shouldbetheinstrument,inthedevil'shand,(unwittinglytoo,)toavengethemalluponyou;forshouldyouevengetthebetteroftheColonel,wouldthemischiefendthere?--Itwouldbutaddremorsetoyourpresentremorse;sincetheinterviewmustendindeath;forhewouldnot,Iamconfident,takehislifeatyourhand.TheHarloweswould,moreover,prosecuteyouinalegalway.Youhatethem;andtheywouldbegainersbyhisdeath;rejoicersinyour's--Andhaveyounotdonemischiefenoughalready?
Letme,therefore,(andthroughmeallyourfriends,)havethesatisfactiontohearthatyouareresolvedtoavoidthisgentleman.Time
willsubdueallthings.Nobodydoubtsyourbravery;norwillitbeknownthatyourplanischangedthroughpersuasion.
YoungHarlowetalksofcallingyoutoaccount.Thisisaplainevidence,thatMr.Mordenhasnottakenthequarreluponhimselffortheirfamily.
IaminnoapprehensionofanybodybutColonelMorden.Iknowitwillnotbeameantoprevailuponyoutoobligeme,ifIsaythatIamwellassuredthatthisgentlemanisaskillfulswordsman;andthatheisascoolandsedateasskillful.ButyetIwilladd,that,ifIhadavalueformylife,heshouldbethelastman,exceptyourself,withwhomIwouldchoosetohaveacontention.
Ihave,asyourequired,beenverycandidandsincerewithyou.Ihavenotaimedatpalliation.IfyouseeknotColonelMorden,itismyopinionhewillnotseekyou:forheisamanofprinciple.Butifyouseekhim,Ibelievehewillnotshunyou.
Letmere-urge,[itistheeffectofmyloveforyou!]thatyouknowyourownguiltinthisaffair,andshouldnotbeagainanaggressor.ItwouldbepitythatsobraveamanastheColonelshoulddrop,wereyouandhetomeet:and,ontheotherhand,itwouldbedreadfulthatyoushouldbesenttoyouraccountunpreparedforit,andpursuingafreshviolence.
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Moreover,seestthounot,inthedeathsoftwoofthyprincipalagents,thehand-writinguponthewallagainstthee.
Myzealonthisoccasionmaymakemeguiltyofrepetition.IndeedIknownothowtoquitthesubject.ButifwhatIhavewritten,addedtoyourownremorseandconsciousness,cannotprevail,allthatImightfurtherurgewouldbeineffectual.
Adieu,therefore!Maystthourepentofthepast!andmaynonewviolencesaddtothyheavyreflections,andoverwhelmthyfuturehopes!arethewishesof
Thytruefriend,JOHNBELFORD.
LETTERLX.
MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.MUNICH,NOV.11--22.
Ireceivedyour'sthismoment,justasIwassettingoutforVienna.
AstogoingtoMadrid,oronesinglestepoutofthewaytoavoidColonelMorden,letmeperishifIdo!--Youcannotthinkmesomeanawretch.
Andsoyouownthathehasthreatenedme;butnotingrossandungentlemanlyterms,yousay.Ifhehasthreatenedmelikeagentleman,Iwillresenthisthreatslikeagentleman.Buthehasnotdoneasamanofhonour,ifhehasthreatenedatallbehindmyback.IwouldscorntothreatenanymantowhomIknewhowtoaddressmyselfeitherpersonallyorbypenandink.
Astowhatyoumentionofmyguilt;ofthehand-writingonthewall;ofalegalprosecution,ifhemeethisfatefrommyhand;ofhisskill,
coolness,courage,andsuch-likepoltroonstuff;whatcanyoumeanbyit?Surelyyoucannotbelievethatsuchinsinuationsasthosewillweakeneithermyhandsormyheart.--Nomoreofthissortofnonsense,Ibeseechyou,inanyofyourfutureletters.
Hehadnottakenanyresolutions,yousay,whenyousawhim.Hemustandwilltakeresolutions,onewayorother,veryquickly;forIwrotetohimyesterday,withoutwaitingforthisoryouranswertomylast.Icouldnotavoidit.Icouldnot(asItoldyouinthat)liveinsuspense.IhavedirectedmylettertoFlorence.NorcouldIsuffermyfriendstoliveinsuspenseastomysafety.ButIhavecoucheditinsuchmoderateterms,thathehasfairlyhisoption.Hewillbethechallenger,ifhetakeitinthesenseinwhichhemaysohandsomelyavoidtakingit.And
ifhedoes,itwilldemonstratethatmaliceandrevengewerethepredominantpassionswithhim;andthathewasdeterminedbuttosettlehisaffairs,andthentakehisresolutions,asyouphraseit.--Yet,ifwearetomeet[forIknowwhatmyoptionwouldbe,inhiscase,onsuchaletter,complaisantasitis]Iwishhehadaworse,Iabettercause.Itwouldbeasweetrevengetohim,wereItofallbyhishand.ButwhatshouldIbethebetterforkillinghim?
IwillencloseacopyoftheletterIsenthim.
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***
Onre-perusingyour'sinacoolermoment,Icannotbutthankyouforyourfriendlylove,andgoodintentions.Myvalueforyou,fromthefirsthourofouracquaintancetillnow,Ihaveneverfoundmisplaced;regardingatleastyourintention:thoumust,however,ownagooddealofblunderoftheover-doandunder-dokind,withrespecttothepartthouactestbetweenmeandthebelovedofmyheart.Butthouartreallyanhonestfellow,andasincereandwarmfriend.IcouldalmostwishIhadnotwrittentoFlorencetillIhadreceivedthyletternowbeforeme.Butitisgone.Letitgo.Ifhewishpeace,andtoavoidviolence,hewillhaveafairopportunitytoembracetheone,andshuntheother.--Ifnot--hemusttakehisfate.
Butbethisasitmay,youmaycontrivetoletyoungHarloweknow[heisamenacer,too!]thatIshallbeinEnglandinMarchnext,atfarthest.
ThisofBavariaisagallantandpolitecourt.Nevertheless,beinguncertainwhethermylettermaymeetwiththeColonelatFlorence,Ishallquitit,andsetout,asIintended,forVienna;takingcaretohaveanyletterormessagefromhimconveyedtomethere:whichwillsoonbringmebackhither,ortoanyotherplacetowhichIshallbeinvited.
AsIwritetoCharlotteIhavenothingmoretoadd,aftercomplimentstoallfriends,thanthatIam
Whollyyour's,LOVELACE.
***
MR.LOVELACE,TOWILLIAMMORDEN,ESQ.[ENCLOSEDINTHEABOVE.]
MUNICH,NOV.10--21.
SIR,
Ihaveheard,withagreatdealofsurprise,thatyouhavethoughtfittothrowoutsomemenacingexpressionsagainstme.
IshouldhavebeenverygladthatyouhadthoughtIhadpunishmentenoughinmyownmindforthewrongsIhavedonetothemostexcellentofwomen;andthatithadbeenpossiblefortwopersons,soardentlyjoininginonelove,(especiallyasIwasdesiroustotheutmostofmypower,torepairthosewrongs,)tohavelived,ifnotonamicableterms,insuchawayas
nottoputeithertothepainofhearingofthreateningsthrownoutinabsence,whicheitheroughttobedespisedfor,ifhehadnotspirittotakenoticeofthem.
Now,Sir,ifwhatIhaveheardbeowingonlytowarmthoftemper,ortosuddenpassion,whilethelossofallotherlossesthemostdeplorabletomewasrecent,Inotonlyexcuse,butcommendyouforit.Butifyouarereallydeterminedtomeetmeonanyotheraccount,[which,Iowntoyou,isnothoweverwhatIwish,]itwouldbeveryblamable,andveryunworthyofthecharacterIdesiretomaintain,aswellwithyouaswithevery
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Ishallstaysomedaysatthiscourt;andifyoupleasetodirectformeatM.Klienfurt'sinthiscity,whetherIremainhereornot,yourcommandswillcomesafelyandspeedilytothehandsof,Sir,
Yourmosthumbleservant,WM.MORDEN.
***
Soyousee,Belford,thattheColonelbyhisready,hiseveneagerly-expressedacceptanceoftheofferedinterview,wasdetermined.Andisitnotmuchbettertobringsuchapointasthistoanissue,thantogivepaintofriendsformysafety,orcontinueinsuspensemyself;asImustdo,ifIimaginedthatanotherhadaughtagainstme?
Thiswasmyreply:
VIENNA,|NOV.25.|DEC.6.
SIR,Ihavethismomentthefavourofyour's.IwillsuspendatourIwasgoingtotakeintoHungary,andinstantlysetoutforMunich;and,ifIcanfindyounotthere,willproceedontoTrent.Thiscity,beingontheconfinesofItaly,willbemostconvenient,asIpresume,toyou,inyourreturntoTuscany;andIshallhopetomeetyouinitonthe3/14thofDecember.
IshallbringwithmeonlyaFrenchvaletandanEnglishfootman.OtherparticularsmaybeadjustedwhenIhavethehonourtoseeyou.Tillwhen,Iam,Sir,
Yourmostobedientservant,R.LOVELACE.
***
Now,Jack,Ihavenomannerofapprehensionoftheeventofthismeeting.AndIthinkImustsayheseeksmeout;notIhim.Andsolethimtaketheconsequence.
Whatisinfinitelynearertomyheart,is,myingratitudetothemostexcellentofwomen--Mypremeditatedingratitude!--Yetallthewhile
enabledtodistinguishandtoadoreherexcellencies,inspiteofthemeanopinionofthesexwhichIhadimbibedfromearlymanhood.
Butthisladyhasassertedtheworthinessofhersex,andmostgloriouslyhassheexalteditwithmenow.Yet,surely,asIhavesaidandwrittenanhundredtimes,therecannotbesuchanotherwoman.
Butasmylossinherdepartureisthegreatestofanyman's,andasshewasdearertomethantoanyotherpersonintheworld,andoncesheherselfwishedtobeso,whataninsolenceinanymanbreathingto
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pretendtoavengeheronme!--Happy!happy!thricehappy!hadIknownhowtovalue,asIoughttohavevalued,thegloryofsuchapreference!
IwillnotaggravatetomyselfthisaggravationoftheColonel'spretendingtocallmetoaccountformytreatmentofaladysomuchmyown,lest,intheapproachinginterview,myheartshouldrelentforonesonearlyrelatedtoher,andwhomeanshonourandjusticetohermemory;andIshouldtherebygivehimadvantageswhichotherwisehecannothave.ForIknowthatIshallbeinclinedtotrusttomyskill,tosaveamanwhowassomuchandsojustlyvaluedbyher;andshallbeloathtogivewaytomyresentment,asathreatenedman.AndinthisrespectonlyIamsorryforhisskill,andhiscourage,lestIshouldbeobliged,inmyowndefence,toaddachalktoascorethatisalreadytoolong.
***
Indeed,indeed,Belford,Iam,andshallbe,tomylatesthour,themostmiserableofbeings.Suchexaltedgenerosity!--Whydidstthouputintomycravinghandsthecopyofherwill?Whysentestthoutometheposthumousletter?--WhatthouIwasearnesttoseethewill?thouknewestwhattheybothwere[Ididnot];andthatitwouldbecrueltoobligeme.
ThemeetingoftwentyColonelMordens,weretheretwentytomeetinturn,wouldbenothingtome,wouldnotgivemeamoment'sconcern,astomyownsafety:butmyreflectionsuponmyvileingratitudetososuperioranexcellencewilleverbemycurse.
HadshebeenaMissHowetome,andtreatedmeasifIwereaHickman,Ihadhadacallforrevenge;andpolicy(whenIhadintendedtobeanhusband)mighthavejustifiedmyattemptstohumbleher.Butameekandgentletemperwasher's,thoughatrueheroine,wheneverhonourorvirtuecalledforanexertionofspirit.
Nothingbutmycurseddevicesstoodinthewayofmyhappiness.Remembrestthounothowrepeatedly,fromthefirst,Ipouredcoldwater
uponherrisingflame,bymeanlyandungratefullyturninguponhertheinjunctions,whichvirgindelicacy,andfilialduty,inducedhertolaymeunderbeforeIgotherintomypower?*
*SeeVol.III.LetterXV.SeealsoLettersXVII.XLV.XLVI.ofthatvolume,andmanyotherplaces.
Didshenottellme,anddidInotknowit,ifshehadnottoldme,thatshecouldnotbeguiltyofaffectationortyrannytothemanwhomsheintendedtomarry?*Iknew,assheonceupbraidedme,thatfromthetimeIhadgotherfromherfather'shouse,Ihadaplainpathbeforeme.**
Truedidshesay,andItriumphedinthediscovery,thatfromthattimeIheldhersoulinsuspenseanhundredtimes.***Myipecacuanhatrialalonewasenoughtoconvinceaninfidelthatshehadamindinwhichloveandtendernesswouldhavepresided,hadIpermittedthecharmingbudstoputforthandblow.****
*SeeVol.V.LetterXXXIV.--Itmaybeobservedfurther,thatallClarissa'soccasionallecturestoMissHowe,onthatyounglady'streatmentofMr.Hickman,provethatshewasherselfaboveaffectation
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andtyranny.--See,moreparticularly,theadviceshegivestothatfriendofherheart,LetterXXXII.ofVol.VIII.--'Omydear,'saysshe,inthatLetter,'thatithadbeenmylot(asIwasnotpermittedtolivesingle)tohavemetwithamanbywhomIcouldhaveactedgenerouslyandunreservedly!'&c.&c.**SeeVol.V.LettersXXVI.andXXXIV.***Ibid.LetterXXXIV.****SeeVol.V.LettersII.III.
Shewouldhavehadnoreserve,asonceshetoldme,hadIgivenhercauseofdoubt.*Anddidshenotowntothee,thatonceshecouldhavelovedme;and,couldshehavemademegood,wouldhavemademehappy?**O,Belford!herewaslove;aloveofthenoblestkind!Alove,asshehintsinherposthumousletter,***thatextendedtothesoul;andwhichshenotonlyavowedinherdyinghours,butcontrivedtoletmeknowitafterdeath,inthatletterfilledwithwarningsandexhortations,whichhadfortheirsoleendmyeternalwelfare!
*Ibid.LetterXXXVI.**SeeVol.VIII.LetterLXIV.***SeeLetterXXXVI.ofthisvolume.
Thecursedwomen,indeed,endeavouredtoexcitemyvengeance,andmypride,bypreachingtomeofme.Andmypridewas,attimes,toomuchexcitedbytheirvileinsinuations.Buthaditevenbeenastheysaid;wellmightshe,whohadbeenusedtobecourtedandadmiredbyeverydesiringeye,andworshippedbyeveryrespectfulheart--wellmightsuchawomanbeallowedtodrawback,whenshefoundherselfkeptinsuspense,astothegreatquestionofall,byadesigningandintriguingspirit;pretendingaweanddistance,asreasonsforreining-inafervour,which,ifreal,cannotbereined-in--Divinecreature!Herverydoubts,herreserves,(sojustlydoubting,)wouldhavebeenmyassurance,andmyglory!--Andwhatothertrialneededhervirtue!Whatotherneededapuritysoangelic,(blessedwithsuchacommandinherpassionsinthe
bloomofyouth,)hadInotbeenavillain--andawanton,aconceited,aproudfool,aswellasavillain?
Thesereflectionssharpened,ratherthantheiredgebytimeabated,accompanymeinwhateverIdo,andwhereverIgo;andminglewithallmydiversionsandamusements.AndyetIgointogayandsplendidcompany.IhavemadenewacquaintanceinthedifferentcourtsIhavevisited.Iambothesteemedandsoughtafter,bypersonsofrankandmerit.Ivisitthecolleges,thechurches,thepalaces.Ifrequentthetheatre:ampresentateverypublicexhibition;andseeallthatisworthseeing,thatIhadnotseebefore,inthecabinetsofthecurious:amsometimesadmittedtothetoiletteofaneminenttoast,andmakeonewithdistinctionattheassembliesofothers--yetcanthinkofnothing,
norofanybody,withdelight,butofmyCLARISSA.NorhaveIseenonewomanwithadvantagetoherself,butassheresembles,instature,air,complexion,voice,orinsomefeature,thatcharmer,thatonlycharmerofmysoul.
Whatgreaterpunishment,thantohavetheseastonishingperfections,whichshewasmistressof,strikemyremembrancewithsuchforce,whenIhavenothingleftmebuttheremorseofhavingdeprivedmyselfandtheworldofsuchablessing?Nowandthen,indeed,amIcapableofagleamofcomfort,arising(notungenerously)fromthemoralcertaintywhichI
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Theymaybothbeofusetoyou,Sir,atthesword,aswellasatthepistol:thesword,therefore,bethething,ifyouplease.
Withallmyheart.
Wepartedwithasolemnsortofceremoniouscivility:andthisdayIcalleduponhim;andwerodeouttogethertofixupontheplace:andbothbeingofonemind,andhatingtoputoffforthemorrowwhatcouldbedoneto-day,wouldhavedecideditthen:butDelaTour,andtheColonel'svalet,whoattendedus,beingunavoidablyletintothesecret,joinedtobegwewouldhavewithusasurgeonfromBrixen,whomLaTourhadfalleninwiththere,andwhohadtoldhimhewastoridenextmorningtobleedapersoninafever,atalonecottage,which,bythesurgeon'sdescription,wasnotfarfromtheplacewherewethenwere,ifitwerenotthatverycottagewithinsightofus.
Theyovertooksotomanageit,thatthesurgeonshouldknownothingofthemattertillhisassistancewascalledin.AndLaTour,being,asIassuredtheColonel,areadycontrivingfellow,[whomIorderedtoobeyhimasmyself,werethechancetobeinhisfavour,]webothagreedtodeferthedecisiontillto-morrow,andtoleavethewholeaboutthesurgeontothemanagementofourtwovalets;enjoiningthemabsolutesecrecy:andsorodebackagainbydifferentways.
Wefixeduponalittlelonevalleyforthespot--tento-morrowmorningthetime--andsinglerapiertheword.YetIrepeatedlytoldhim,thatIvaluedmyselfsomuchuponmyskillinthatweapon,thatIwouldwishhimtochooseanyother.
Hesaiditwasagentleman'sweapon;andhewhounderstooditnot,wantedaqualificationthatheoughttosufferfornothaving:butthat,astohim,oneweaponwasasgoodasanother,throughoutalltheinstrumentsofoffence.
So,Jack,youseeItakenoadvantageofhim:butmydevilmustdeceiveme,ifhetakenothislifeorhisdeathatmyhandsbeforeeleven
to-morrowmorning.
Hisvaletandminearetobepresent;butbothstrictlyenjoinedtobeimpartialandinactive:and,inreturnformycivilityofthelikenature,hecommandedhistobeassistingme,ifhefell.
Wearetoridethither,andtodismountwhenattheplace;andhisfootmanandminearetowaitatanappointeddistance,withachaisetocarryofftothebordersoftheVenetianterritoriesthesurvivor,ifonedrop;ortoassisteitherorboth,asoccasionmaydemand.
Andthus,Belford,isthemattersettled.
Ashowerofrainhasleftmenothingelsetodo;andthereforeIwritethisletter;thoughImightaswellhavedeferredittillto-morrowtwelveo'clock,whenIdoubtnottobeabletowriteagain,toassureyoumuchIam
Yours,&c.LOVELACE.
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thoughhisownwoundbledmuch.Butmydearchevalierfaintedawaytwoorthreetimesrunning,andvomitedbloodbesides.
However,theystoppedthebleedingforthepresent;andwehelpedhimintothevoiture;andthentheColonelsufferedhisownwoundtobedressed;andappearedconcernedthatmychevalierwasbetweenwhiles(whenhecouldspeak,andstruggle,)extremelyoutrageous.--Poorgentleman!hehadmadequitesureofvictory!
TheColonel,againstthesurgeons'advice,wouldmountonhorsebacktopassintotheVenetianterritories;andgenerouslygavemeapurseofgoldtopaythesurgeons;desiringmetomakeapresenttothefootman;andtoacceptoftheremainder,asamarkofhissatisfactioninmyconduct,andinmycareandtendernessofmymaster.
Thesurgeonstoldhimthatmychevaliercouldnotliveovertheday.
WhentheColoneltookleaveofhim,Mr.Lovelacesaid,Youhavewellrevengedthedearcreature.
Ihave,Sir,saidMr.Morden;andperhapsshallbesorrythatyoucalleduponmetothiswork,whileIwasbalancingwhethertoobey,ordisobey,thedearangel.
Thereisafateinit!repliedmychevalier--acursedfate!--orthiscouldnothavebeen!--Butbeyeallwitnesses,thatIhaveprovokedmydestiny,andacknowledgethatIfallbyamanofhonour.
Sir,saidtheColonel,withthepietyofaconfessor,(wringingMr.Lovelace'shand,)snatchthesefewfleetingmoments,andcommendyourselftoGod.
Andsoherodeoff.
Thevoitureproceededslowlywithmychevalier;yetthemotionsetbothhiswoundsbleedingafresh;anditwaswithdifficultytheyagainstoppedtheblood.
Webroughthimalivetothenearestcottage;andhegaveorderstometodispatchtoyouthepacketIherewithsendsealedup;andbidmewritetoyoutheparticularsofthismostunhappyaffair:andgiveyouthanks,inhisname,forallyourfavoursandfriendshiptohim.
Contrarytoallexpectation,helivedoverthenight:butsufferedmuch,aswellfromhisimpatienceanddisappointment,asfromhiswounds;forheseemedveryunwillingtodie.
Hewasdelirious,attimes,inthetwolasthours:andthenseveraltimescriedout,asifhehadseensomefrightfulspectre,Takeheraway!Takeheraway!butnamednobody.Andsometimespraisedsomelady,(that
Clarissa,Isuppose,whomhehadinvokedwhenhereceivedhisdeath'swound,)callingherSweetExcellence!DivineCreature!FairSufferer!--Andoncehesaid,Lookdown,BlessedSpirit,lookdown!--Andtherestopt;--hislips,however,moving.
Atnineinthemorninghewasseizedwithconvulsions,andfaintedaway;anditwasaquarterofanhourbeforehecameoutofthem.
HisfewlastwordsImustnotomit,astheyshowanultimatecomposure;whichmayadministersomeconsolationtohishonourablefriends.
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Blessed--saidhe,addressinghimselfnodoubttoHeaven;forhisdyingeyeswereliftedup--astrongconvulsionpreventedhimforafewmomentssayingmore--butrecovering,heagain,withgreatfervour,(liftinguphiseyes,andhisspreadhands,)pronouncedthewordblessed:Then,inaseemingejaculation,hespokeinwardly,soasnottobeunderstood:atlast,hedistinctlypronouncedthesethreewords,
LETTHISEXPIATE!
Andthen,hisheadsinkingonhispillow,heexpired,atabouthalfanhourafterten.
Helittlethought,poorgentleman!hisendsonear:sohadgivennodirectionabouthisbody.Ihavecausedittobeembowelled,anddepositedinavault,tillIhaveordersfromEngland.
Thisisafavourthatwasprocuredwithdifficulty;andwouldhavebeenrefused,hadhenotbeenanEnglishmanofrank:anationwithreasonrespectedineveryAustriangovernment--forhehadrefusedghostlyattendance,andthesacramentsintheCatholicway.--Mayhissoulbehappy,IprayGod!
Ihavehadsometroublealso,onaccountofthemannerofhisdeath,from
themagistracyhere:whohavetakentherequisiteinformationsintheaffair.Andithascostsomemoney.Ofwhich,andofthedearchevalier'seffects,Iwillgiveyouafaithfulaccountinmynext.Andso,waitingatthisplaceyourcommands,Iam,Sir,
Yourmostfaithfulandobedientservant,F.J.DELATOUR.
CONCLUSION
SUPPOSEDTOBEWRITTENBYMR.BELFORD
Whatremainstobementionedforthesatisfactionofsuchofthereadersasmaybepresumedtohaveinterestedthemselvesinthefortunesofthoseotherprincipalsinthestory,whosurvivedMr.Lovelace,willbefoundsummarilyrelatedasfollows:
ThenewsofMr.LOVELACE'sunhappyendwasreceivedwithasmuchgriefbyhisownrelations,asitwaswithexultationbytheHarlowefamily,andbyMissHowe.Hisownfamilyweremosttobepitied,because,beingsincereadmirersoftheinimitablelady,theyweregreatlygrievedfortheinjusticedoneher;andnowhadtheadditionalmortificationoflosingtheonlymaleofit,byaviolentdeath.
Thathisfatewasdeserved,wasstillaheighteningoftheircalamity,astheyhad,forthatveryreason,andhisunpreparednessforit,buttoomuchgroundforapprehensionwithregardtohisfuturehappiness.Whiletheotherfamily,fromtheirunforgivingspirit,andeventhenobleyoungladyabovementioned,fromherlivelyresentments,foundhisdeathsomelittle,sometemporary,alleviationoftheheavylosstheyhadsustained,principallythroughhismeans.
Temporaryalleviation,werepeat,astotheHarlowefamily;forTHEYwere
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farfrombeinghappyoreasyintheirreflectionsupontheirownconduct.--Andstilltheless,astheinconsolablemotherrestednottillshehadprocured,bymeansofColonelMorden,largeextractsfromsomeofthelettersthatcomposethishistory,whichconvincedthemallthattheverycorrespondencewhichClarissa,whilewiththem,renewedwithMr.Lovelace,wasrenewedfortheirsakes,morethanforherown:thatshehadgivenhimnoencouragementcontrarytoherdutyandtothatprudenceforwhichshewassoearlynoted:thathadtheytrustedtoadiscretionwhichtheyownedshehadneverbroughtintoquestion,shewouldhaveextricatedthemandherself(assheonceproposed*tohermother)fromalldifficultiesastoLovelace:thatshe,ifanywomanevercould,wouldhavegivenagloriousinstanceofapassionconquered,oratleastkeptunderbyreasonandbypiety;themanbeingtooimmoraltobeimplicitlybeloved.
*SeeVol.I.LetterXVII.
Theunhappyparentsanduncles,fromtheperusaloftheseextracts,tooevidentlyfortheirpeace,sawthatitwasentirelyowingtotheavarice,theambition,theenvy,ofherimplacablebrotherandsister,andtothesenselessconfederacyenteredintobythewholefamily,tocompelhertogiveherhandtoamanshemustdespise,orshehadnotbeenaCLARISSA,
andtotheirconsequentpersecutionofher,thatsheeverthoughtofquittingherfather'shouse:andthatevenwhenshefirstentertainedsuchathought,itwaswithintent,ifpossible,toprocureforherselfaprivateasylumwithMrs.Howe,oratsomeotherplaceofsafety,(butnotwithMr.Lovelace,norwithanyoftheladiesofhisfamily,thoughinvitedbythelatter,)fromwhenceshemightproposetermswhichoughttohavebeencompliedwith,andwhichwereentirelyconsistentwithherduty--thatthoughshefoundherselfdisappointedofthehoped-forrefugeandprotection,sheintendednot,bymeetingMr.Lovelace,toputherselfintohispower;allthatsheaimedatbytakingthatstepbeingtoendeavourtopacifysofierceaspirit,lestheshould(asheindeedwasdeterminedtodo)payavisittoherfriends,whichmighthavebeenattendedwithfatalconsequences;butwasspiritedawaybyhiminsucha
manner,asmadeheranobjectofpityratherthanofblame.
Theseextractsfurtherconvincedthemallthatitwastoherunaffectedregretthatshefoundthatmarriagewasnotinherpowerafterwardsforalongtime;andatlast,butononeoccasion,whentheirunnaturalcrueltytoher(onanewapplicationshehadmadetoherauntHervey,toprocuremercyandpardon)renderedherincapableofreceivinghisprofferedhand;andsoobligedhertosuspendtheday:intendingonlytosuspendittillrecovered.
TheysawwithequalabhorrenceofLovelace,andoftheirowncruelty,andwiththehighestadmirationofher,thatthemajestyofhervirtuehadawedthemostdaringspiritintheworld,sothathedurstnotattemptto
carryhisbasedesignsintoexecution,till,bywickedpotions,hehadmadehersensestheprevioussacrifice.
Buthowdidtheyinamanneradorehermemory!Howdidtheyrecriminateuponeachother!whentheyfound,thatshehadnotonlypreservedherselffromrepeatedoutrage,bythemostgloriousandintrepidbehaviour,indefiance,andtotheutterconfusionofallhislibertinenotions,buthadthefortitude,constantly,andwithanobledisdain,torejecthim.--Whom?--Why,themansheoncecouldhaveloved,kneelingforpardon,andbeggingtobepermittedtomakeherthebestreparationtheninhispower
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tomakeher;thatistosay,bymarriage.Hisfortuneshighandunbroken.Shehisprisoneratthetimeinavilehouse:rejectedbyallherfriends;uponrepeatedapplicationtothem,formercyandforgiveness,rejected--mercyandforgiveness,andalastblessing,afterwardsimploring;andthatasmuchtolightentheirfutureremorses,asforthecomfortofherownpiousheart--yet,thoughsavagelyrefused,onasuppositionthatshewasnotsonearherendasshewasrepresenteddeparted,forgivingandblessingthemall!
Thentheyrecollectedthatherposthumousletters,insteadofreproaches,werefilledwithcomfortings:thatshehadinherlastwill,intheirownway,laidobligationsuponthemall;obligationswhichtheyneitherdeservednorexpected;asifshethoughttorepairtheinjusticewhichself-partialitymadesomeofthemconcludedonetothembyhergrandfatherinhiswill.
Theseintelligencesandrecollectionswereperpetualsubjectsofrecriminationtothem:heightenedtheiranguishforthelossofachildwhowasthegloryoftheirfamily;andnotseldommadethemshuneachother,(atthetimestheywereaccustomedtomeettogether,)thattheymightavoidthemutualreproachesofeyesthatspoke,whentonguesweresilent--theirstingsalsosharpenedbytime!Whatanunhappyfamilywasthis!WellmightColonelMorden,inthewordsofJuvenal,challengeallothermiserablefamiliestoproducesuchagrowingdistressasthatof
theHarlowes(afewmonthsbeforesohappy!)wasabletoproduce.HumanigenerismorestibinôssevolentiSufficitunadomus:paucosconsumedies,&Diceretemiserum,postquamillincveneris,aude.
Mrs.HARLOWElivedabouttwoyearsandanhalfafterthelamenteddeathofherCLARISSA.
Mr.HARLOWEhadtheadditionalafflictiontosurvivehisladyabouthalfayear;herdeath,bynewpointinghisformeranguishandremorse,hasteninghisown.
Both,intheirlasthours,however,comfortedthemselves,thattheyshouldberestoredtotheirBLESSEDdaughter,astheyalways(fromthetimetheywereacquaintedwiththeaboveparticularsofherstory,andwithherhappyexit)calledher.
Theybothlived,however,toseetheirsonJames,andtheirdaughterArabella,married:butnottotakejoyineitheroftheirnuptials.
Mr.JAMESHARLOWEmarriedawomanoffamily,anorphan;andisobliged,ataverygreatexpense,tosupporthisclaimtoestates,whichwerehisprincipalinducementtomakehisaddressestoher;butwhich,tothisday,hehasnotrecovered;norislikelytorecover;havingpowerfuladversariestocontendwith,andatitletoassert,whichadmitsof
litigation;andhenotblessedwithsomuchpatienceasisnecessarytopersonsembarrassedinlaw.
Whatisfurtherobservable,withregardtohim,is,thatthematchwasentirelyofhisownhead,againsttheadviceofhisfather,mother,anduncles,whowarnedhimofmarryinginthisladyalaw-suitforlife.Hisungenerousbehaviourtohiswife,forwhatshecannothelp,andforwhatisasmuchhermisfortuneashis,hasoccasionedsuchestrangementsbetweenthem(shebeingawomanofspirit)as,werethelaw-suitsdetermined,evenmorefavourablythanprobablytheywillbe,mustmake
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designedbythepublicationofthiswork,togiveabriefaccountoftheirparentage,andmanneroftraining-up,preparativetothevilecoursestheyfellinto,andofwhatbecameofthem,afterthedreadfulexitoftheinfamousSinclair.
SALLYMARTINwasthedaughterofasubstantialmerceratthecourt-endofthetown;towhomhermother,agrocer'sdaughterinthecity,broughtahandsomefortune;andbothhavingagayturn,andbeingfondofthefashionswhichitwastheirbusinesstopromote;andwhichthewivesanddaughtersoftheuppermosttradesmen(especiallyinthatquarterofthetown)generallyaffecttofollow;itwasnowonderthattheybroughtuptheirdaughteraccordingly:northatshe,whowasaverysprightlyandready-wittedgirl,andreckonedveryprettyandverygenteel,shouldeveryyearimproveuponsuchexamples.
Sheearlyfoundherselfmistressofherself.Allshedidwasright:allshesaidwasadmired.Early,veryearly,didshedismissblushesfromhercheek.Shecouldnotblush,becauseshecouldnotdoubt:andsilence,whateverwasthesubject,wasasmuchastrangertoherasdiffidence.
Sheneverwasleftoutofanypartyofpleasureaftershehadpassedherninthyear;and,inhonourofherprattlingvein,wasconsideredasaprincipalpersoninthefrequenttreatsandentertainmentswhichher
parents,fondofluxuriousliving,gavewithaviewtoincreasetheiracquaintanceforthesakeoftheirbusiness;notdulyreflecting,thattheparttheysufferedhertotakeinwhatmadefortheirinterest,wouldprobablybeameantoquickentheirappetites,andruinthemoralsoftheirdaughter,forwhosesake,asanonlychild,theyweresolicitoustoobtainwealth.
TheCHILDsomuchawoman,whatmusttheWOMANbe?
Atfifteenorsixteen,sheaffected,bothindressandmanners,toapesuchofthequalityasweremostapish.Therichestsilksinherfather'sshopwerenottoorichforher.Atallpublicdiversions,shewastheleader,insteadoftheled,ofallherfemalekindredand
acquaintances,thoughtheywereathirdolderthanherself.Shewouldbustleherselfintoaplace,andmakeroomforhermorebashfulcompanions,throughthefrownsofthefirstpossessors,atacrowdedtheatre,leavingeveryonenearheramazedatherself-consequence,wonderingshehadnoservanttokeepplaceforher;whisperinglyinquiringwhoshewas;andthensittingdownadmiringherfortitude.
Sheofficiouslymadeherselfofconsequencetothemostnotedplayers;who,asoneoftheirpatronesses,appliedtoherforherinterestontheirbenefit-nights.Sheknewthechristian,aswellassurnameofeveryprettyfellowwhofrequentedpublicplaces;andaffectedtospeakofthembytheformer.
Thosewhohadnotobeyedthecallhereyesalwaysmadeuponallofthemfornoticeatherentrance,orbeforeshetookherseat,werespokenofwithhaughtiness,as,Jacks,orToms;wileherfavourites,withanaffectedly-endearingfamiliarity,andaprettinessofaccent,wereJackeysandTommys;andiftheystoodveryhighinhergraces,deardevils,andagreeabletoads.
Shesatinjudgment,andaninexorablejudgeshewasupontheactionsandconductofeverymanandwomanofqualityandfashion,astheybecamethesubjectsofconversation.Shewasdeeplylearnedinthescandalous
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chronicle:shemadeeverycharacter,everypraise,andeverycensure,servetoexaltherself.Sheshouldscorntodosoorso!--or,Thatwaseverherway;andJustwhatshedid,orlikedtodo;andjudgingherselfbythevilenessofthemostvileofhersex,shewipedhermouth,andsatdownsatisfiedwithherownvirtue.
Shehadherchairtoattendherwherevershewent,andfoundpeopleamongherbetters,asherpridestoopedtocallsomeofthemostinsignificantpeopleintheworld,toencouragehervisits.
Shewaspractisedinalltheartsofthecard-table:atrueSpartangirl;andhadevencourage,occasionally,towrangleoffadetection.Latehours(turningnightintoday,anddayintonight)werethealmostunavoidableconsequencesofherfrequentplay.HerparentspleasedthemselvesthattheirSallyhadacharmingconstitution:and,aslongasshesufferednotinherhealth,theywereregardlessofhermorals.
Theneedleshehated:andmadetheconstantsubjectsofherridiculethefineworksthatusedtoemploy,andkeepoutofidleness,luxury,andextravagance,andathome(weretheytohavebeenofnootherservice)thewomenofthelastage,whentherewerenoVauxhalls,Ranelaghs,Marybones,andsuch-likeplacesofdiversion,todressoutfor,andgadafter.
Andastofamily-management,herparentshadnotrequiredanyknowledgeofthatsortfromher;andsheconsidereditasaqualificationonlynecessaryforhirelings,andthelow-born,andasutterlyunworthyoftheattentionofamodernfinelady.
Althoughherfatherhadgreatbusiness,yet,livinginsohighandexpensiveaway,hepretendednottogiveherafortuneanswerabletoit.Neitherhenorhiswifehavingsetoutwithanynotionoffrugalitycouldthinkofretrenching.Nordidtheirdaughterdesirethattheyshouldretrench.Theythoughtglareorostentationreputable.Theycalleditlivinggenteely.Andastheyliftedtheirheadsabovetheirneighbours,theysupposedtheircreditconcernedtogoforwardratherthanbackwardinoutwardappearances.Theyflatteredthemselves,andtheyflattered
theirgirl,andshewasentirelyoftheiropinion,thatshehadcharmsandwitenoughtoattractsomemanofrank;offortuneatleast:andyetthisdaughterofamercer-fatherandgrocer-mothercouldnotbearthethoughtsofacreepingcit;encouragingherselfwiththefewinstances(comcommonones,ofgirlsmuchinferiortoherselfinstation,talents,education,andevenfortune,whohadsucceeded--asshedoubtednottosucceed.Handsomesettlements,andachariot,thattemptinggewgawtothevanityofthemiddlingclassoffemales,weretheleastthatsheproposedtoherself.Butallthiswhile,neitherherparentsnorherselfconsideredthatshehadappetitesindulgedtostrugglewith,andaturnofeducationgivenher,aswellasawarmconstitution,unguardedbysoundprinciples,andunbenefittedbyexample,whichmadehermuchbetterqualifiedforamistressthanawife.
Hertwentiethyear,toherownequalwonderandregret,passedoverherhead,andshehadnotoneofferthatherpridewouldpermithertoacceptof.Agirlfromfifteentoeighteen,herbeautythenbeginningtoblossom,will,asanewthing,attracttheeyesofmen:butifshemakeherfacecheapatpublicplaces,shewillfind,thatnewfaceswilldrawmoreattentionthanfinefacesconstantlyseen.Policy,therefore,ifnothingelsewereconsidered,wouldinduceayoungbeauty,ifshecouldtamehervanity,justtoshowherself,andtobetalkedof,andthenwithdrawing,asiffromdiscretion,(anddiscreetitwillbetodoso,)
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expecttobesoughtafter,ratherthantobethoughttoseekfor;onlyrevivingnow-and-thenthememoryofherself,atthepublicplacesinturn,ifshefindherselflikelytobeforgotten;andthenshewillbenewagain.Butthisobservationoughtyoungladiesalwaystohaveintheirheads,thattheycanhardlyeverexpecttogratifytheirvanity,andatthesametimegaintheadmirationofmenworthyofmakingpartnersforlife.Theymay,inshort,havemanyadmirersatpublicplaces,butnotonelover.
SallyMartinknewnothingofthisdoctrine.Herbeautywasinitsbloom,andyetshefoundherselfneglected.'SallyMartin,themercer'sdaughter:sheneverfailsbeinghere;'wastheanswer,andtheaccompanyingobservation,madetoeveryquestioner,Whoisthatlady?
Atlast,herdestinyapproached.Itwasatamasqueradethatshefirstsawthegay,thehandsomeLovelace,whowasjustreturnedfromhistravels.Shewasimmediatelystruckwithhisfigure,andwiththebrilliantthingsthatsheheardfallfromhislipsashehappenedtositnearher.He,whowasnotthenlookingoutforawife,wastakenwithSally'ssmartness,andwithanairthatatthesametimeshowedhertobeequallygenteelandself-significant;andsignsofapprobationmutuallypassing,hefoundnodifficultyinacquaintinghimselfwheretovisithernextday.Andyetitwassomemortificationtoapersonofherself-consequence,andgayappearance,tosubmittobeknownbysofinea
younggentlemanasnomorethanamercer'sdaughter.SonaturalisitforagirlbroughtupasSallywas,tobeoccasionallyashamedofthosewhosefollyhadsetheraboveherself.
ButwhateveritmightbetoSally,itwasnodisappointmenttoMr.Lovelace,tofindhismistressofnohigherdegree;becausehehopedtoreducehersoontothelowestconditionthatanunhappywomancanfallinto.
ButwhenMissMartinhadinformedherselfthatherloverwasthenephewandpresumptiveheirofLordM.shethoughthimtheverymanforwhomshehadbeensolongandsoimpatientlylookingout;andforwhomitwasworthherwhiletospreadhertoils.Andhereitmaynotbeamissto
observe,thatitisveryprobablethatMr.LovelacehadSallyMartininhisthoughts,andperhapstwoorthreemorewhosehopesofmarriagefromhimhadledthemtotheirruin,whenhedrewthefollowingwhimsicalpicture,inalettertohisfriendBelford,notinsertedintheprecedingcollection:
'Methinks,'sayshe,'Iseeayoungcoupleincourtship,havingeachadesignupontheother:thegirlplaysoff:sheisveryhappyassheis:shecannotbehappier:shewillnotchangehersinglestate:theman,Iwillsuppose,isonewhodoesnotconfess,thathedesiresnotthatsheshould:sheholdsreadyanetunderherapron;heanotherunderhiscoat;eachintendingtothrowitovertheother'sneck;sheoverhis,whenherprideisgratified,andshethinksshecanbesureofhim;heoverher's,
whenthewatched-foryieldingmomenthascarriedconsenttoofar.Andsupposehehappenstobethemoredexterousofthetwo,andwhipshisnetoverher,beforeshecancasther'soverhim;how,Iwouldfainknow,canshecasther'soverhim;how,Iwouldfainknow,canshebejustlyentitledtocryoutuponcruelty,barbarity,deception,sacrifices,andalltherestoftheexclamatorynonsense,withwhichtheprettyfools,insuchacase,arewonttodintheearsoftheirconquerors?Isitnotjust,thinkestthou,whenshemakesherappealtogodsandmen,thatbothgodsandmenshouldlaughather,andhittingherintheteethwithherownfeloniousintentions,bidhersitdownpatientlyunderherdeserved
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disappointment?'
Inshort,Sally'sparents,aswellasherself,encouragedMr.Lovelace'svisits.Theythoughttheymighttrusttoadiscretioninhewhichsheherselfwastoowisetodoubt.Pridetheyknewshehad;andthat,inthesecases,isoftencalleddiscretion.--Lordhelpthesex,saysLovelace,iftheyhadnotpride!--Nordidtheysuspectdangerfromthatspeciousairofsincerity,andgentlenessofmanners,whichhecouldassumeorlayasidewheneverhepleased.
Thesecondmasquerade,whichwasnomorethantheirthirdmeetingabroad,completedherruin,fromsopractised,thoughsoyoungadeceiver;andthatbeforeshewellknewshewasindanger;for,havingprevailedonhertogooffwithhimabouttwelveo'clocktohisauntForbes's,aladyofhonourandfortune,towhomhehadgivenreasontoexpectherfutureniece,[theonlyhintofmarriageheevergaveher,]hecarriedherofftothehouseofthewickedwoman,whobearsthenameofSinclairinthesepapers;andthere,bypromises,whichsheunderstoodinthefavourablesense,(forwhereawomanlovessheseldomdoubtsenoughforhersafety,)obtainedaneasyconquestoveravirtuethatwaslittlemorethannominal.
Hefounditnotdifficulttoinducehertoproceedintheguiltycommerce,tilltheeffectsofitbecametoapparenttobehid.Her
parentsthen(inthefirstfuryoftheirdisappointment,andvexationforbeingdeprivedofallhopesofsuchason-in-law)turnedheroutofdoors.
Herdisgracethuspublished,shebecamehardened;and,protectedbyherseducer,whosefavouritemistressshethenwas,shewassoincensedagainstherparentsforanindignitysolittlesuitingwithherpride,andtheheadtheyhadalwaysgivenher,thatsherefusedtoreturntothem,when,repentingoftheirpassionatetreatmentofher,theywouldhavebeenreconciledtoher:and,becomingthefavouritedaughterofhermotherSinclair,atthepersuasionsofthatabandonedwomanshepractisedtobringonanabortion,whichsheeffected,thoughshewassofargonethatithadliketohavecostherherlife.
Thus,unchastityherfirstcrime,murderhernext,herconsciencebecameseared;and,youngasshewas,andfondofherdeceiver,soongrewindelicateenough,havingsothorough-pacedaschool-mistress,todoallshecouldtopromotethepleasuresofthemanwhohadruinedher;scruplingnot,withaspirittrulydiabolical,toendeavourtodrawinotherstofollowherexample.Anditishardlytobebelievedwhatmischiefsofthissortshewasthemeansofeffecting;womanconfidinginanddaringwoman;andsheacreatureofspeciousappearance,andgreatart.
Astillvilerwickedness,ifpossible,remainstobesaidofSallyMartin.
Herfatherdying,hermother,inhopestoreclaimher,asshecalledit,proposedhertoquitthehouseoftheinfamousSinclair,andtoretirewithherintothecountry,whereherdisgrace,andherthenwickedwayoflife,wouldnotbeknown;andtheresotoliveastosaveappearances;theonlyvirtueshehadevertaughther;besidesthatofendeavouringrathertodeludethanbedeluded.
TothisSallyconsented;butwithnootherintention,assheoftenowned,(andgloriedinit,)thantocheathermotherofthegreatestpartofher
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teachingMisstoread,andimprovehermind;foritwastheboastofeverytea-tablehalf-hour,ThatMissHorton,inpropriety,accent,andemphasis,surpassedalltheyoungladiesherage;and,atothertimes,complimentingthepleasedmother--Blessme,Madam,withwhatasurprisinggraceMissHortonreads!--sheentersintotheveryspiritofhersubject--thisshecouldhavefromnobodybutyou!Anintendedpraise;but,asthesubjectswere,wouldhavebeenaseveresatireinthemouthofanenemy!--Whilethefond,theinconsideratemother,withadelightedair,wouldcry,Why,Icannotbutsay,MissHortondoescredittohertutoress!AndthenaComehither,mybestLove!and,withakissofapprobation,Whatapleasuretoyourdearpapa,hadhelivedtoseeyourimprovements,myCharmer!Concludingwithasighofsatisfaction,hereyesturningrounduponthecircle,totakeinallthesilentapplausesoftheirs!Butlittlethoughthefond,thefoolishmother,whattheplantwouldbe,whichwasspringingupfromtheseseeds!Littleimaginedshe,thatherownruin,aswellasherchild's,wastobetheconsequenceofthisfineeducation;andthat,inthesameill-fatedhour,thehonourofbothmotheranddaughterwastobecomeasacrificetotheintriguinginvader.
This,thelaughinggirl,whenabandonedtoherevildestiny,andincompanywithhersisterSally,andothers,eachrecountingtheirsettings-out,theirprogress,andtheirfall,frequentlyrelatedtobehereducationandmanneroftraining-up.
This,andtoseeasuccessionofhumbleservantsbuzzingaboutamother,whotooktoomuchprideinaddressesofthatkind,whatabeginning,whatanexample,toaconstitutionoftinder,sopreparedtoreceivethesparkstruck,fromthesteelyforeheadandflintyheartofsuchalibertineasatlastitwastheirfortunetobeencounteredby!
Inshort,asMissgrewupundertheinfluencesofsuchadirectress,andofbookssolightandfrothy,withtheinflamingadditionsofmusic,concerts,operas,plays,assemblies,balls,andtherestoftherabbleofamusementsofmodernlife,itisnowonderthat,likeearlyfruit,shewassoonripenedtothehandoftheinsidiousgatherer.
Atfifteen,sheownedshewasreadytofancyherselftheheroineofeverynovelandofeverycomedysheread,sowelldidsheenterintothespiritofhersubject;sheglowedtobecometheobjectofsomehero'sflame;andperfectlylongedtobeginanintrigue,andeventoberunawaywithbysomeenterprisinglover:yethadneitherconfinementnorchecktoapprehendfromherindiscreetmother,whichshethoughtabsolutelynecessarytoconstituteaParthenissa!
Nevertheless,withallthesefinemodernqualities,didshecompletehernineteenthyear,beforeshemetwithanyaddressofconsequence;onehalfofheradmirersbeingafraid,becauseofhergayturn,andbutmiddlingfortune,tomakeseriousapplicationsforherfavour;whileotherswerekeptatadistance,bythesuperiorairssheassumed;andathirdsort,
notsufficientlypenetratingthefoibleseitherofmotherordaughter,werekeptoffbythesupposedwatchfulcareoftheformer.
Butwhenthemanofintrepidityandintriguewasfound,neverwasheroinesosoonsubdued,nevergoddesssoeasilystriptofhercelestials!For,attheopera,adiversionatwhichneithershenorhermotherevermissedtobepresent,shebeheldthespeciousLovelace--beheldhiminvestedwithalltheairsofheroicinsult,resentingaslightaffrontofferedtohisSallyMartinbytwogentlemenwhohadknownherinhermorehopefulstate,oneofwhomMr.Lovelaceobligedtosneakawaywithabrokenhead,
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givenwiththepummelofhissword,theotherwithabloodynose;neitherofthemwellsupportingthatreadinessofoffence,which,itseems,wasapartoftheirknowncharactertobeguiltyof.
Thegallantryofthisactiondrawingeveryby-standeronthesideofthehero,Othebraveman!criedPollyHorton,aloud,tohermother,inakindofrapture,Howneedfultheprotectionofthebravetothefair!withasoftnessinhervoice,whichshehadtaughtherself,tosuitherfanciedhighconditionoflife.
Aspeechsomuchinhisfavour,couldnotbuttakethenoticeofamanwhowasbuttoosensibleoftheadvantageswhichhisfineperson,andnobleair,gavehimoverthegentlerhearts,whowasalwayswatchingeveryfemaleeye,andwhohadhisearcontinuallyturnedtoeveryaffectedvoice;forthatwasoneofhisindicationsofapropersubjecttobeattempted--Affectationofeverysort,heusedtosay,isacertainsignofawrongturnedhead;ofafaultyjudgment;anduponsuchabasisIseldombuildinvain.
Heinstantlyresolvedtobeacquaintedwithayoungcreature,whoseemedsostronglyprejudicedinhisfavour.Nevermanhadareadierinventionforallsortsofmischief.HegavehisSallyhercue.Hecalledhersisterintheirhearing;andSally,whisperingly,gavetheyoungladyandhermother,inherownway,theparticularsoftheaffrontshehad
received;makingherselfanangeloflight,tocastthebrighterrayuponthecharacterofherheroicbrother.Sheparticularlypraisedhisknownandapprovedcourage;andmingledwithherpraisesofhimsuchcircumstancesrelatingtohisbirth,hisfortune,andendowments,aslefthimnothingtodobuttofallinlovewiththeenamouredPolly.
Mr.Lovelacepresentlysawwhatturntogivehisprofessions.Sobraveaman,yetofmannerssogentle!hittheyounglady'staste:norcouldshesuspecttheheartthatsuchanaspectcovered.Thiswastheman!theveryman!shewhisperedtohermother.And,whentheoperawasover,hisservantprocuringacoach,heundertook,withhisspecioussister,tosetthemdownattheirownlodgings,thoughsituatedaquitedifferentwayfromhis:andthereweretheyprevailedupontoalight,andpartakeofa
slightrepast.
SallypressedthemtoreturnthefavourtoheratherauntForbes's,andhopeditwouldbebeforeherbrotherwenttohisownseat.
Theypromisedher,andnamedtheirevening.
Asplendidentertainmentwasprovided.Theguestscame,havingintheinterimfoundallthatwassaidofhisname,andfamily,andfortunetobetrue.Personsofsolittlestrictnessintheirownmorals,tookitnotintotheirheadstobeveryinquisitiveafterhis.
Musicanddancinghadtheirshareintheentertainment.Theseopened
theirhearts,alreadyhalfopenedbylove:TheauntForbes,andthelover'ssister,keptthemopenbytheirownexample.Theherosung,vowed,promised.Theirgratitudewasmoved,theirdelightswereaugmented,theirhopesincreased,theirconfidencewasengaged,alltheirappetitesupinarms;therichwinesco-operating,beatquiteofftheirguard,andnotthoughtenoughremainingforsomuchassuspicion--Miss,detachedfromhermotherbySally,soonfellasacrificetothesuccessfulintriguer.
Thewidowherself,halfintoxicated,andraisedasshewaswithartful
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mixtures,andinflamedbylove,unexpectedlytenderedbyoneofthelibertines,hisconstantcompanions,(towhomanopportunitywascontrivedtobegiventobealonewithher,andthatcloselyfollowedbyimportunity,fellintoherdaughter'serror.Theconsequencesofwhich,inlengthoftime,becomingapparent,grief,shame,remorse,seizedherheart,(herownindiscretionnotallowinghertoarraignherdaughter's,)andshesurvivednotherdelivery,leavingPollywithchildlikewise;who,whendelivered,beingtoofondofthegaydeludertorenouncehiscompany,evenwhenshefoundherselfdeluded,fellintoacourseofextravaganceanddissoluteness;ranthroughherfortuneinaverylittletime,and,asanhighpreferment,atlast,withSally,wasadmittedaquarterpartnerwiththedetestableSinclair.
Allthatisnecessarytoaddtothehistoryoftheseunhappywomen,willbecomprisedinaverylittlecompass.
AfterthedeathoftheprofligateSinclair,theykeptontheinfamoustradewithtoomuchsuccess;tillanaccidenthappenedinthehouse--agentlemanoffamilykilledinitinafray,contendingwithanotherforanew-vampedface.Sallywasaccusedofholdingthegentleman'sarm,whilehismore-favouredadversaryranhimthroughtheheart,andthenmadeoff.Andshebeingtriedforherlifenarrowlyescaped.
Thisaccidentobligedthemtobreakuphouse-keeping;andnothavingbeen
frugalenoughoftheirill-gottengains,(lavishingupononewhattheygotbyanother,)theywerecompelled,forsubsistencesake,toenterthemselvesasunder-managersatsuchanotherhouseastheirownhadbeen.Inwhichservice,soonafter,Sallydiedofafeverandsurfeitgotbyadebauch;andtheother,aboutamonthafter,byaviolentcold,occasionedthroughcarelessnessinasalivation.
Happierscenesopenfortheremainingcharacters;foritmightbedescendingtoolowtomentiontheuntimelyendsofDorcas,andofWilliam,Mr.Lovelace'swickedservant;andthepiningandconsumptiveone'sofBettyBarnesandJosephLeman,unmarriedboth,andinlessthanayearafterthehappydeathoftheirexcellentyounglady.
ThegoodMrs.NORTONpassedthesmallremainderofherlife,ashappilyasshewished,inherbelovedfoster-daughter'sdairy-house,asitusedtobecalled:asshewished,werepeat;forshehadtoostrongaspirationsafteranotherlife,tobegreatlyattachedtothis.
Shelaidoutthegreatestpartofhertimeindoinggoodbyheradvice,andbytheprudentmanagementofthefundcommittedtoherdirection.Havinglivedanexemplarylifefromheryouthupwards;andseenhersonhappilysettledintheworld;shedepartedwitheaseandcalmness,withoutpangoragony,likeatiredtraveller,fallingintoasweetslumber:herlastwordsexpressingherhopeofbeingrestoredtothechildofherbosom;andtoherownexcellentfatherandmother,towhose
careandpainssheowedthatgoodeducationtowhichshewasindebtedforallherotherblessings.
Thepoor'sfund,whichwascommittedtohercare,sheresignedaweekbeforeherdeath,intothehandsofMrs.Hickman,accordingthedirectionofthewill,andalltheaccountsanddisbursementswithit;whichshehadkeptwithsuchanexactness,thattheladydeclares,thatshewillfollowhermethod,andonlywishestodischargethetrustaswell.
MissHOWEwasnottobepersuadedtoquithermourningforherdear
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thosewhomayhavebeenendangeredbyhismeans;aswellastorepair,totheutmostofhispower,anydamageormischiefswhichhemayhaveoccasionedtoothers.
*SeeLettersXLI.andLVII.ofthisvolume.
Withregardtothetrustwithwhichhewashonouredbytheinimitablelady,hehadthepleasureofacquittinghimselfofitinaveryfewmonths,toeverybody'ssatisfaction;eventothatoftheunhappyfamily;whosenthimtheirthanksontheoccasion.Norwashe,atdeliveringuphisaccounts,contentedwithoutresigningthelegacybequeathedtohim,totheusesofthewill.Sothatthepoor'sfund,asitiscalled,isbecomeaveryconsiderablesum:andwillbealastingbankforreliefofobjectswhobestdeserverelief.
TherewasbutoneearthlyblessingwhichremainedforMr.Belfordtowishfor,inorder,morallyspeaking,tosecuretohimallhisotherblessings;andthatwas,thegreatestofallworldlyones,avirtuousandprudentwife.Sofreealiverashehadbeen,hedidnotthinkthathecouldbeworthyofsuchaone,till,uponanimpartialexaminationofhimself,hefoundthepleasurehehadinhisnewresolutionssogreat,andhisabhorrenceofhisformercoursessosincere,thathewastheless
apprehensiveofadeviation.Uponthispresumption,havingalsokeptinhismindsomeencouraginghintsfromMr.Lovelace;andhavingbeensohappyastohaveitinhispowertoobligeLordM.andthatwholenoblefamily,bysomeservicesgratefultothem(therequestforwhichfromhisunhappyfriendwasbroughtover,amongotherpapers,withthedeadbody,byDelaTour);hebesoughtthatnobleman'sleavetomakehisaddressestoMissCHARLOTTEMONTAGUE,theeldestofhisLordship'stwonieces:andmakingatthesametimesuchproposalsofsettlementsaswerenotobjectedto,hisLordshipwaspleasedtousehispowerfulinterestinhisfavour.Andhisworthyniecehavingnoengagement,shehadthegoodnesstohonourMr.Belfordwithherhand;andtherebymadehimascompletelyhappyasamancanbe,
whohasenormitiestoreflectupon,whichareoutofhispowertoatonefor,byreasonofthedeathofsomeoftheinjuredparties,andtheirreclaimablenessofothers.
'Happyisthemanwho,inthetimeofhealthandstrength,seesandreformstheerrorofhisways!--Buthowmuchmorehappyishe,whohasnocapitalandwilfulerrorstorepentof!--Howunmixedandsinceremustthejoysofsuchaonecometohim!'
LordM.addedbountifullyinhislife-time,asdidalsothetwoladieshissisters,tothefortuneoftheirworthyniece.AndasMr.Belfordhadbeenblessedwithasonbyher,hisLordshipathisdeath[whichhappenedjustthreeyearsaftertheuntimelyoneofhisunhappynephew]
waspleasedtodevisetothatson,andtohisdescendentsforever(andincaseofhisdeathunmarried,toanyotherchildrenofhisniece)hisHertfordshireestate,(designedforMr.Lovelace,)whichhemadeuptothevalueofamoietyofhisrealestates;bequeathingalsoamoietyofhispersonaltothesamelady.
MissPATTYMONTAGUE,afineyounglady[towhomhernobleuncle,athisdeath,devisedtheothermoietyofhisrealandpersonalestates,includinghisseatinBerkshire]livesatpresentwithherexcellentsister,Mrs.Belford;towhomsheremoveduponLordM.'sdeath:but,in
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allprobability,willsoonbetheladyofaworthybaronet,ofancientfamily,finequalities,andamplefortunes,justreturnedfromhistravels,withacharactersuperiortotheverygoodonehesetoutwith:acasethatveryseldomhappens,althoughtheendoftravelisimprovement.
ColonelMORDEN,who,withsomanyvirtuesandaccomplishments,cannotbeunhappy,inseveralletterstotehexecutor,withwhomhecorrespondsfromFlorence,[having,sincehisunhappyaffairwithMr.LovelacechangedhispurposeofcomingsosoontoresideinEnglandashehadintended,]declares,Thatalthoughhethoughthimselfobligedeithertoacceptofwhathetooktobeachallenge,assuch;ortamelytoacknowledge,thathegaveupallresentmentofhiscousin'swrongs;andinamannertobegpardonforhavingspokenfreelyofMr.Lovelacebehindhisback;andalthoughatthetimeheownshewasnotsorrytobecalledupon,ashewas,totakeeithertheonecourseortheother;yetnow,coollyreflectinguponhisbelovedcousin'sreasoningsagainstduelling;anduponthepriceithadtooprobablycosttheunhappyman;hewisheshehadmorefullyconsideredthosewordsinhiscousin'sposthumousletter--'IfGodwillallowhimtimeforrepentance,whyshouldyoudenyithim?'*
*Severalworthypersonshavewished,thattheheinouspracticeofduellinghadbeenmoreforciblydiscouraged,bywayofnote,atthe
conclusionofaworkdesignedtorecommendthehighestandmostimportantdoctrinesofchristianity.Itishumblypresumed,thatthesepersonshavenotsufficientlyattendedtowhatisalreadydoneonthatsubjectinVol.II.LetterXII.andinthisvolume,LetterXVI.XLIII.XLIV.andXLV.
Toconclude--TheworthywidowLovickcontinuestolivewithMr.Belford;and,byherprudentbehaviour,piety,andusefulness,hasendearedherselftoherlady,andtothewholefamily.
POSTSCRIPT
REFERREDTOINTHEPREFACE
Inwhichseveralobjectionsthathavebeenmade,aswelltothecatastrophe,astodifferentpartsoftheprecedinghistory,arebrieflyconsidered.
Theforegoingworkhavingbeenpublishedatthreedifferentperiodsoftime,theauthor,inthecourseofitspublication,wasfavouredwithmanyanonymousletters,inwhichthewritersdifferentlyexpressedtheirwisheswithregardtotheapprehendedcatastrophe.
Mostofthosedirectedtohimbythegentlersex,turnedinfavourofwhattheycalledafortunateending.Someofthefairwriters,enamoured,astheydeclared,withthecharacteroftheheroine,werewarmlysolicitoustohavehermadehappy;andothers,likewiseoftheirmind,insistedthatpoeticaljusticerequiredthatitshouldbeso.Andwhen,saysoneingeniouslady,whoseundoubtedmotivewasgood-natureandhumanity,itmustbeconcludedthatitisinanauthor'spowertomakehispieceendashepleases,whyshouldhenotgivepleasureratherthanpaintothereaderwhomhehasinterestedinfavourofhisprincipal
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characters?
Others,andsomegentlemen,declaredagainsttragediesingeneral,andinfavourofcomedies,almostinthewordsofLovelace,whowassupportedinhistastebyallthewomenatMrs.Sinclair'sandbySinclairherself.'Ihavetoomuchfeeling,saidhe.*Thereisenoughintheworldtomakeourheartssad,withoutcarryinggriefintoourdiversions,andmakingthedistressesofothersourown.'
*SeeVol.IV.LetterXL.
Andhowwasthishappyendingtobebroughtabout?Why,bythisveryeasyandtriteexpedient;towit,byreformingLovelace,andmarryinghimtoClarissa--not,however,abatingheroneofhertrials,noranyofhersufferings,[forthesakeofthesportherdistresseswouldgivetothetender-heartedreader,asshewentalong,]thelastoutrageexcepted:that,indeed,partlyincomplimenttoLovelacehimself,andpartlyforherdelicacy-sake,theywerewillingtospareher.
Butwhateverwerethefateofhiswork,theauthorwasresolvedtotakeadifferentmethod.Healwaysthoughtthatsuddenconversions,such,especially,aswerelefttothecandourofthereadertosupposeandmake
out,hasneitherart,nornature,norevenprobability,inthem;andthattheyweremoreoverofaverybadexample.TohaveaLovelace,foraseriesofyears,gloryinhiswickedness,andthinkthathehadnothingtodo,butasanactofgraceandfavourtoholdouthishandtoreceivethatofthebestofwomen,wheneverhepleased,andtohaveitthoughtthatmarriagewouldbeasufficientamendsforallhisenormitiestoothersaswellastoher--hecouldnotbearthat.Norisreformation,ashehasshowninanotherpiece,tobesecuredbyafineface;byapassionthathassenseforitsobject;norbythegoodnessofawife'sheart,norevenexample,iftheheartofthehusbandbenotgraciouslytouchedbytheDivinefinger.
Itwillbeseen,bythistime,thattheauthorhadagreatendinview.
Hehadlivedtoseethescepticismandinfidelityopenlyavowed,andevenendeavouredtobepropagatedfromthepress;thegreatestdoctrinesoftheGospelbroughtintoquestion;thoseofself-denialandmortificationblottedoutofthecatalogueofchristianvirtues;andatasteeventowantonnessforout-doorpleasureandluxury,tothegeneralexclusionofdomesticaswellaspublicvirtue,industriouslypromotedamongallranksanddegreesofpeople.
Inthisgeneraldepravity,wheneventhepulpithaslostgreatpartofitsweight,andtheclergyareconsideredasabodyofinterestedmen,theauthorthoughtheshouldbeabletoanswerittohisownheart,bethesuccesswhatitwould,ifhethrewinhismitetowardsintroducingareformationsomuchwanted:andheimagined,thatifinanagegivenup
todiversionandentertainment,ifhecouldstealin,asmaybesaid,andinvestigatethegreatdoctrinesofChristianityunderthefashionableguiseofanamusement;heshouldbemostlikelytoservehispurpose,rememberingthatofthePoet:--
Aversemayfindhimwhoasermonflies,Andturndelightintoasacrifice.
Hewasresolved,therefore,toattemptsomethingthatneveryethadbeendone.Heconsideredthatthetragicpoetshaveasseldommadetheir
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heroestrueobjectsofpity,asthecomicstheirslaudableonesofimitation:andstillmorerarelyhavemadethemintheirdeathslookforwardtoafuturehope.Andthus,whentheydie,theyseemtotallytoperish.Death,insuchinstances,mustappearterrible.Itmustbeconsideredasthegreatestevil.Butwhyisdeathsetinsuchshockinglights,whenitistheuniversallot?
Hehas,indeed,thoughtfittopaintthedeathofthewicked,asterribleashecouldpaintit.Buthehasendeavouredtodrawthatofthegoodinsuchanamiablemanner,thattheveryBalaamsoftheworldshouldnotforbeartowishthattheirlatterendmightbelikethatoftheheroine.
Andafterall,whatisthepoeticaljusticesomuchcontendedforbysome,asthegeneralityofwritershavemanagedit,butanothersortofdispensationthanthatwithwhichGod,byrevelation,teachesus,Hehasthoughtfittoexercisemankind;whomplacinghereonlyinastateofprobation,hehathsointermingledgoodandevil,astonecessitateustolookforwardforamoreequaldispensationofboth?
TheAuthoroftheHistory(orratherDramaticNarrative)ofClarissa,isthereforewelljustifiedbythechristiansystem,indeferringtoextricatesufferingvirtuetothetimeinwhichitwillmeetwiththecompletionofitsreward.
ButnotabsolutelytosheltertheconductobservedinitunderthesanctionofReligion,[anauthority,perhaps,notofthegreatestweightwithsomeofourmoderncritics,]itmustbeobserved,thattheAuthorisjustifiedinitscatastrophebythegreatestmasterofreason,andbestjudgeofcomposition,thateverlived.ThelearnedreaderknowswemustmeanARISTOTLE;whosesentimentsinthismatterweshallbegleavetodeliverinthewordsofaveryamiablewriterofourowncountry:
'TheEnglishwritersofTragedy,'saysMr.Addison,*'arepossessedwithanotion,thatwhentheyrepresentavirtuousorinnocentpersonindistress,theyoughtnottoleavehimtilltheyhavedeliveredhimoutofhistroubles,ormadehimtriumphoverhisenemies.
*Spectator,Vol.I.No.XL.
'Thiserrortheyhavebeenledintobyaridiculousdoctrineinmoderncriticism,thattheyareobligedtoanequaldistributionofrewardsandpunishments,andanimpartialexecutionofpoeticaljustice.
'Whowerethefirstthatestablishedthisrule,Iknownot;butIamsureithasnofoundationinNATURE,inREASON,orinthePRACTICEOFTHEANTIENTS.
'WefindthatgoodandevilhappenalikeuntoALLMENonthissidethe
grave:andastheprincipaldesignoftragedyistoraisecommiserationandterrorinthemindsoftheaudience,weshalldefeatthisgreatend,ifwealwaysmakevirtueandinnocencehappyandsuccessful.
'Whatevercrossesanddisappointsagoodmansuffersinthebodyofthetragedy,theywillmakebutsmallimpressiononourminds,whenweknow,that,inthelastact,heistoarriveattheendofhiswishesanddesires.
'Whenweseehimengagedinthedepthofhisafflictions,weareaptto
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extentofhissubjectintohisdivisionsofit,heoftenmakesuseofsuchcasesasareimaginary,andnotreducibletopractice....
'Ishallconclude,'saysthisgentleman,'withobserving,thatthoughtheSpectatorabove-mentionedissofaragainsttheruleofpoeticaljustice,astoaffirm,thatgoodmenmaymeetwithanunhappycatastropheintragedy,itdoesnotsay,thatillmenmaygooffunpunished.Thereasonforthisdistinctionisveryplain;namely,becausethebestofmen[asissaidabove,]havefaultsenoughtojustifyProvidenceforanymisfortunesandafflictionswhichmaybefallthem;buttherearemanymensocriminal,thattheycanhavenoclaimorpretencetohappiness.Thebestofmenmaydeservepunishment;buttheworstofmencannotdeservehappiness.'
Mr.Addison,aswehaveseenabove,tellsus,thatAristotle,inconsideringthetragediesthatwerewrittenineitherofthekinds,observes,thatthosewhichendedunhappilyhadalwayspleasedthepeople,andcarriedawaytheprize,inthepublicdisputesofthestage,fromthosethatendedhappily.Andweshalltakeleavetoadd,thatthispreferencewasgivenatatimewhentheentertainmentsofthestagewerecommittedtothecareofthemagistrates;whentheprizescontendedforweregivenbythestate;when,ofconsequence,theemulationamongwriterswasardent;andwhenlearningwasatthehighestpitchofgloryinthatrenownedcommonwealth.
Itcannotbesupposed,thattheAthenians,inthistheirhighestageoftasteandpoliteness,werelesshumane,lesstender-hearted,thanweofthepresent.Buttheywerenotafraidofbeingmoved,norashamedofshowingthemselvestobeso,atthedistressestheysawwellpaintedandrepresented.Inshort,theywereoftheopinion,withthewisestofmen,thatitwasbettertogotothehouseofmourning,thantothehouseofmirth;andhadfortitudeenoughtotrustthemselveswiththeirowngenerousgrief,becausetheyfoundtheirheartsmendedbyit.
ThusalsoHorace,andthepolitestRomansintheAugustanage,wishedtobeaffected:
Acneforteputesme,quæfacereipserecusem,Cumrectetractantalii,lauderemaligne;IlleperextentumfunemmihipossevideturIrepoeta,meumquipectusinaniterangit,Irritat,mulcet;falsisterroribusimplet,Utmagus;&modomeThebis,modopointAthenis.
ThusEnglishedbyMr.Pope:
Yet,lestthouthinkIrallymorethanteach,OrpraisemalignlyartsIcannotreach;Letme,foronce,presumet'instructthetimesToknowthepoetfromthemanofrhymes.
'Tishewhogivesmybreastathousandpains:Canmakemefeeleachpassionthathefeigns;Enrage--compose--withmorethanmagicart,Withpityandwithterrortearmyheart;Andsnatchmeo'ertheearth,orthroughtheair,ToThebes,toAthens,whenhewill,andwhere.
Ourfairreadersarealsodesiredtoattendtowhatacelebratedcritic*ofaneighbouringnationsaysonthenatureanddesignoftragedy,fromtheruleslaiddownbythesamegreatantient.
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willratherenvythanregretthetriumphantdeathofCLARISSA;whosepiety,fromherearlychildhood;whosediffusivecharity;whosesteadyvirtue;whoseChristianhumility,whoseforgivingspirit;whosemeekness,andresignation,HEAVENonlycouldreward?*
*Andhereitmaynotbeamisstoremindthereader,thatsoearlyintheworkasVol.II.LetterXXXVIII.thedispensationsofProvidencearejustifiedbyherself.Andthussheendsherreflections--'Ishallnotlivealways--maymyclosingscenebehappy!'--Shehadherwish.Itwashappy.
Weshallnow,accordingtotheexpectationgiveninthePrefacetothisedition,proceedtotakebriefnoticeofsuchotherobjectionsashavecometoourknowledge:for,asistheresaid,'Thisworkbeingaddressedtothepublicasahistoryoflifeandmanners,thosepartsofitwhichareproposedtocarrywiththemtheforceofexample,oughttobeasunobjectionableasisconsistentwiththedesignofthewhole,andwithhumannature.'
Severalpersonshavecensuredtheheroineastoocoldinherlove,toohaughty,andevensometimesprovoking.Butwemaypresumetosay,thatthisobjectionhasarisenfromwantofattentiontothestory,tothe
characterofClarissa,andtoherparticularsituation.Itwasnotintendedthatsheshouldbeinlove,butinlikingonly,ifthatexpressionmaybeadmitted.Itismeanttobeeverywhereinculcatedinthestoryforexamplesake,thatsheneverwouldhavemarriedMr.Lovelace,becauseofhisimmoralities,hadshebeenlefttoherself;andthatofherruinwasprincipallyowingtothepersecutionsofherfriends.
Whatistoogenerallycalledlove,ought(perhapsasgenerally)tobecalledbyanothername.Cupidity,oraPaphianstimulus,assomewomen,evenofcondition,haveacted,arenotwordstooharshtobesubstitutedontheoccasion,howevergratingtheymaybetodelicateears.Buttake
thewordloveinthegentlestandmosthonourablesense,itwouldhavebeenthoughtbysomehighlyimprobable,thatClarissashouldhavebeenabletoshowsuchacommandofherpassions,asmakessodistinguishingapartofhercharacter,hadshebeenasviolentlyinlove,ascertainwarmandfiercespiritswouldhavehadhertobe.Afewobservationsarethrowninbywayofnoteinthepresentedition,atproperplacestoobviatethisobjection,orrathertobespeaktheattentionofhastyreaderstowhatliesobviouslybeforethem.Forthustheheroineanticipatesthisveryobjection,expostulatingwithMissHoweonhercontemptuoustreatmentofMr.Hickman;which(farfrombeingguiltyofthesamefaultherself)shedid,onalloccasions,anddeclaresshewoulddoso,wheneverMissHoweforgotherself,althoughshehadnotadaytolive:
'Omydear,'saysshe,'thatithadbeenmylot(asIwasnotpermittedtolivesingle)tohavemetwithaman,bywhomIcouldhaveactedgenerouslyandunreservedly!
'Mr.Lovelace,itisnowplain,inordertohaveapretenceagainstme,taxedmybehaviourtohimwithstiffnessanddistance.You,atonetime,thoughtmeguiltyofsomedegreeofprudery.Difficultsituationsshouldbeallowedfor:whichoftenmakeseemingoccasionsforcensureunavoidable.Ideservednotblamefromhim,whomademinedifficult.
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Andyou,mydear,hadIanyothermantodealwiththanMr.Lovelace,orhadhebuthalfthemeritwhichMr.Hickmanhas,wouldhavefound,thatmydoctrineonthissubject,shouldhavegovernedmywholepractice.'SeethiswholeLetter,No.XXXII.Vol.VIII.SeealsoMr.Lovelace'sLetter,Vol.VIII.No.LIX.andVol.IX.No.XLII.where,justbeforehisdeath,heentirelyacquitsherconductonthishead.
Ithasbeenthought,bysomeworthyandingeniouspersons,thatifLovelacehadbeendrawnaninfidelorscoffer,hischaracter,accordingtothetasteofthepresentworsethanscepticalage,wouldhavebeenmorenatural.Itis,however,toowellknown,thatthereareverymanypersons,ofhiscast,whoseactionsdiscredittheirbelief.Andarenottheverydevils,inScripture,saidtobelieveandtremble?
Butthereadermusthaveobserved,that,great,and,itishoped,gooduse,hasbeenmadethroughoutthework,bydrawingLovelaceaninfidel,onlyinpractice;andthisaswellintheargumentsofhisfriendBelford,asinhisownfrequentremorses,whentouchedwithtemporarycompunction,andinhislastscenes;whichcouldnothavebeenmade,hadeitherofthembeenpaintedassentimentalunbelievers.NottosaythatClarissa,whosegreatobjectiontoMr.Wyerleywas,thathewasascoffer,musthavebeeninexcusablehadsheknownLovelacetobeso,andhadgiventheleastattentiontohisaddresses.Onthecontrary,thusshecomfortsherself,whenshethinksshemustbehis--'Thisone
consolation,however,remains;heisnotaninfidel,anunbeliever.Hadhebeenaninfidel,therewouldhavebeennoroomatallforhopeofhim;but(pridinghimselfashedoesinhisfertileinvention)hewouldhavebeenutterlyabandoned,irreclaimable,andasavage.'*Anditmustbeobserved,thatscoffersaretoowitty,intheirownopinion,(inotherwords,valuethemselvestoomuchupontheirprofligacy,)toaimatconcealingit.
*SeeVol.IV.LetterXXXIX.andVol.V.LetterVIII.
Besides,hadLovelaceaddedribbaldjestsuponreligion,tohisother
liberties,thefreedomswhichwouldthenhavepassedbetweenhimandhisfriend,musthavebeenofanaturetrulyinfernal.
Andthisfatherhintwasmeanttobegiven,bywayofinference,thatthemanwhoallowedhimselfinthoselibertieseitherofspeechoraction,whichLovelacethoughtshameful,wassofaraworsemanthanLovelace.Forthisreasonheiseverywheremadetotreatjestsonsacredthingsandsubjects,evendowntothemythologyofthePagans,amongPagans,asundoubtedmarksoftheill-breedingofthejester;obsceneimagesandtalk,aslibertiestooshamefulforevenrakestoallowthemselvesin;andinjusticetocreditors,andinmattersofMeumandTuum,aswhatitwasbeneathhimtobeguiltyof.
Somehaveobjectedtothemeekness,tothetameness,astheywillhaveittobe,ofMr.Hickman'scharacter.AndyetLovelaceowns,thatheroseuponhimwithgreatspiritintheinterviewbetweenthem;once,whenhethoughtareflectionwasbutimpliedonMissHowe;*andanothertime,whenheimaginedhimselftreatedcontemptuously.**MissHowe,itmustbeowned,(thoughnottothecreditofherowncharacter,)treatshimludicrouslyonseveraloccasions.Butsoshedoeshermother.AndperhapsaladyofherlivelyturnwouldhavetreatedaswhimsicallyanymanbutaLovelace.Mr.Belfordspeaksofhimwithhonourandrespect.***SodoesColonelMorden.****AndsodoesClarissaonevery
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occasion.AndallthatMissHoweherselfsaysofhim,tendsmoretohisreputationthandiscredit,*****asClarissaindeedtellsher.******
*SeeVol.VII.LetterXXVIII.**Ibid.***Ibid.LetterXLVIII.****SeeLetterXLVI.ofthisvolume.*****SeeVol.II.LetterII.andVol.III.LetterXL.******SeeVol.II.LetterXI.
AndastoLovelace'streatmentofhim,thereadermusthaveobserved,thatitwashiswaytotreateverymanwithcontempt,partlybywayofself-exaltation,andpartlytogratifythenaturalgaietyofhisdisposition.HesayshimselftoBelford,*'ThouknowestIlovehimnot,Jack;andwhomwelovenot,wecannotallowameritto;perhapsnotthemerittheyshouldbegranted.''Modestanddiffidentmen,'writesBelford,toLovelace,inpraiseofMr.Hickman,'wearnotsoonoffthoselittleprecisenesses,whichtheconfident,ifevertheyhadthem,presentlygetover.'**
*SeeVol.VII.LetterXXVIII.
**Ibid.LetterXLVIII.
But,asMissHowetreatshermotherasfreelyasshedoesherlover;sodoesMr.LovelacetakestillgreaterlibertieswithMr.BelfordthanhedoeswithMr.Hickman,withrespecttohisperson,air,andaddress,asMr.BelfordhimselfhintstoMr.Hickman.*AndyetishenotsoreadilybelievedtothediscreditofMr.Belford,bytheladiesingeneral,asheiswhenhedisparagesMr.Hickman.Whencecanthisparticularityarise?
*SeeLetterXXXVI.ofthisvolume.
Mr.Belfordhadbeenarake:butwasinawayofreformation.
Mr.Hickmanhadalwaysbeenagoodman.
AndLovelaceconfidentlysays,Thatthewomenloveamanwhoseregardforthemisfoundedintheknowledgeofthem.*
*SeeVol.V.LetterXVIII.
Nevertheless,itmustbeowned,thatitwasnotpurposedtodrawMr.
Hickman,asthemanofwhomtheladiesingeneralwerelikelytobeveryfond.Haditbeenso,goodnessofheart,andgentlenessofmanners,greatassiduity,andinviolableandmodestlove,wouldnotofthemselveshavebeensupposedsufficientrecommendations.Hewouldnothavebeenallowedtheleastshareofprecisenessorformality,althoughthosedefectsmighthavebeenimputedtohisreverencefortheobjectofhispassion;butinhischaracteritwasdesignedtoshow,thatthesamemancouldnotbeeverything;andtointimatetoladies,thatinchoosingcompanionsforlife,theyshouldratherpreferthehonestheartofaHickman,whichwouldbealltheirown,thantoriskthechanceof
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sharing,perhapswithscores,(andsomeofthoseprobablythemostprofligateofthesex,)thevolatilemischievousoneofaLovelace:inshort,thattheyshouldchoose,iftheywishedfordurablehappiness,forrectitudeofmind,andnotforspeciousnessofpersonoraddress;normakeajestofagoodmaninfavourofabadone,whowouldmakeajestofthemandoftheirwholesex.
Twoletters,however,bywayofaccommodation,areinsertedinthisedition,whichperhapswillgiveMr.Hickman'scharactersomeheighteningwithsuchladiesaslovespiritinaman;andhadrathersufferbyit,thannotmeetwithit.--
Women,borntobecontroul'd,Stooptotheforwardandthebold,
SaysWaller--andLovelacetoo!
Somehavewishedthatthestoryhadbeentoldintheusualnarrativewayoftellingstoriesdesignedtoamuseanddivert,andnotinletterswrittenbytherespectivepersonswhosehistoryisgiveninthem.Theauthorthinksheoughtnottoprescribetothetasteofothers;butimaginedhimselfatlibertytofollowhisown.Heperhapsmistrustedhistalentsforthenarrativekindofwriting.Hehadthegoodfortuneto
succeedintheepistolarywayoncebefore.Astoryinwhichsomanypersonswereconcernedeitherprincipallyorcollaterally,andofcharactersanddispositionssovarious,carriedonwithtolerableconnectionandperspicuity,inaseriesoflettersfromdifferentpersons,withouttheaidofdigressionsandepisodesforeigntotheprincipalendanddesign,hethoughthadnoveltytobepleadedforit;andthat,inthepresentage,hesupposedwouldnotbeaslightrecommendation.
Besideswhathasbeensaidabove,andinthePreface,onthishead,thefollowingopinionofaningeniousandcandidforeigner,onthismannerofwriting,maynotbeimproperlyinsertedhere.
'ThemethodwhichtheauthorhadpursuedintheHistoryofClarissa,isthesameasintheLifeofPamela:botharerelatedinfamiliarlettersbythepartiesthemselves,attheverytimeinwhichtheeventshappened:andthismethodhasgiventheauthorgreatadvantages,whichhecouldnothavedrawnfromanyotherspeciesofnarration.Theminuteparticularsofevents,thesentimentsandconversationoftheparties,are,uponthisplan,exhibitedwithallthewarmthandspiritthatthepassionsupposedtobepredominantattheverytimecouldproduce,andwithallthedistinguishingcharacteristicswhichmemorycansupplyinahistoryofrecenttransactions.
'Romancesingeneral,andMarivaux'samongstothers,arewhollyimprobable;becausetheysupposetheHistorytobewrittenafterthe
seriesofeventsisclosedbythecatastrophe:acircumstancewhichimpliesastrengthofmemorybeyondallexampleandprobabilityinthepersonsconcerned,enablingthem,atthedistanceofseveralyears,torelatealltheparticularsofatransientconversation:orrather,itimpliesayetmoreimprobableconfidenceandfamiliaritybetweenallthesepersonsandtheauthor.
'Thereis,however,onedifficultyattendingtheepistolarymethod;foritisnecessarythatallthecharactersshouldhaveanuncommontasteforthiskindofconversation,andthattheyshouldsuffernoevent,noteven
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aremarkableconversationtopass,withoutimmediatelycommittingittowriting.Butforthepreservationofthelettersoncewritten,theauthorhasprovidedwithgreatjudgment,soastorenderthiscircumstancehighlyprobable.'*
*ThisquotationistranslatedfromaCRITIQUEontheHISTORYOFCLARISSA,writteninFrench,andpublishedatAmsterdam.ThewholeCritique,renderedintoEnglish,wasinsertedintheGentleman'sMagazineofJuneandAugust,1749.TheauthorhasdonegreathonourinittotheHistoryofClarissa;andasthereareRemarkspublishedwithit,whichanswerseveralobjectionsmadetodifferentpassagesinthestorybythatcandidforeigner,thereaderisreferredtotheaforesaidMagazineforboth.
Itispresumedthatwhatthisgentlemansaysofthedifficultiesattendingastorythusgivenintheepistolarymannerofwriting,willnotbefoundtoreachtheHistorybeforeus.Itisverywellaccountedforinit,howthetwoprincipalfemalecharacterscametotakesogreatadelightinwriting.Theirsubjectsarenotmerelysubjectsofamusement;butgreatlyinterestingtoboth:yetmanyladiestherearewhonowlaudablycorrespond,whenatdistancefromeachother,onoccasionsthatfarlessaffecttheirmutualwelfareandfriendships,thanthose
treatedofbytheseladies.Thetwoprincipalgentlemenhadmotivesofgaietyandvain-gloryfortheirinducements.Itwillgenerallybefound,thatpersonswhohavetalentsforfamiliarwriting,asthesecorrespondentsarepresumedtohave,willnotforbearamusingthemselveswiththeirpensonlessarduousoccasionsthanwhatoffertothese.TheseFOUR,(whosestorieshaveaconnectionwitheachother,)outofthegreatnumberofcharacterswhoareintroducedinthisHistory,areonlyeminentintheepistolaryway:therestappearbutasoccasionalwriters,andasdrawninratherbynecessitythanchoice,fromthedifferentrelationsinwhichtheystandwiththefourprincipalpersons.
Thelengthofthepiecehasbeenobjectedtobysome,whoperhapslookeduponitasamerenovelorromance;andyetofthesetherearenot
wantingworksofequallength.
Theywereofopinion,thatthestorymovedtooslowly,particularlyinthefirstandsecondvolumes,whicharechieflytakenupwiththealtercationsbetweenClarissaandtheseveralpersonsofherfamily.
Butisitnottrue,thatthosealtercationsarethefoundationofthewhole,andthereforeanecessarypartofthework?Thelettersandconversations,wherethestorymakestheslowestprogress,arepresumedtobecharacteristic.Theygiveoccasion,likewise,tosuggestmanyinterestingpersonalities,inwhichagooddealoftheinstructionessentialtoaworkofthisnatureisconveyed.Anditwill,moreover,beremembered,thattheauthor,athisfirstsettingout,apprizedthe
reader,thatthestory(interestingasitisgenerallyallowedtobe)wastobeprincipallylookeduponasthevehicletotheinstruction.
Toallwhichwemayadd,thattherewasfrequentlyanecessitytobeverycircumstantialandminute,inordertopreserveandmaintainthatairofprobability,whichisnecessarytobemaintainedinastorydesignedtorepresentreallife;andwhichisrenderedextremelybusyandactivebytheplotsandcontrivancesformedandcarriedonbyoneoftheprincipalcharacters.
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Somethereare,andladiestoo!whohavesupposedthattheexcellenciesoftheheroinearecarriedtoanimprobable,andeventoanimpracticable,heightinthishistory.ButtheeducationofClarissa,fromearlychildhood,oughttobeconsideredasoneofherverygreatadvantages;as,indeed,thefoundationofallherexcellencies:and,itistobehoped,forthesakeofthedoctrinedesignedtobeinculcatedbyit,thatitwill.
Shehadapious,awell-read,anotmeanly-descendedwomanforhernurse,whowithhermilk,asMrs.Harlowesays,*gaveherthatnurturewhichnoothernursecouldgiveher.Shewasveryearlyhappyintheconversation-visitsofherlearnedandworthyDr.Lewen,andinhercorrespondencies,notwithhimonly,butwithotherdivinesmentionedinherlastwill.Hermotherwas,uponthewhole,agoodwoman,whodidcredittoherbirthandfortune;andbothdelightedinherforthoseimprovementsandattainmentswhichgaveher,andtheminher,adistinctionthatcausedittobesaid,thatwhenshewasoutofthefamilyitwasconsideredbutasacommonfamily.**Shewas,moreover,acountrylady;and,aswehaveseeninMissHowe'scharacterofher,***tookgreatdelightinruralandhouseholdemployments;thoughqualifiedtoadornthebrightestcircle.
*SeeVol.IV.LetterXXVIII.
**Seehermother'spraisesofhertoMrs.Norton,Vol.I.LetterXXXIX.***SeeLetterLV.ofthisvolume.
ItmustbeconfessedthatwearenottolookforClarissa'snameamongtheconstantfrequentersofRanelaghandVauxhall,noramongthosewhomaybecalledDaughtersofthecard-table.Ifwedo,thecharacterofourheroinemaythen,indeed,onlybejustlythoughtnotimprobable,butunattainable.Butwehaveneitherroominthisplace,norinclination,topursueasubjectsoinvidious.Wequitit,therefore,afterwehaverepeatedthatweknowtherearesome,andwehopetherearemany,intheBritishdominions,(ortheyarehardlyanywhereintheEuropeanworld,)who,asfarasoccasionhascalleduponthemtoexertthelikehumbleand
modest,yetsteadyanduseful,virtues,havereachedtheperfectionsofaClarissa.
Havingthusbrieflytakennoticeofthemostmaterialobjectionsthathavebeenmadetodifferentpartsofthishistory,itishopedwemaybeallowedtoadd,thathadwethoughtourselvesatlibertytogivecopiesofsomeofthemanylettersthathavebeenwrittenontheothersideofthequestion,thatistosay,inapprobationofthecatastrophe,andofthegeneralconductandexecutionofthework,bysomeofthemosteminentjudgesofcompositionineverybranchofliterature;mostofwhathasbeenwritteninthisPostscriptmighthavebeenspared.
Butastheprincipalobjectionwithmanyhaslainagainstthelengthof
thepiece,weshalladdtowhatwehavesaidaboveonthatsubject,inthewordsofoneofthoseeminentwriters:'Thatif,inthehistorybeforeus,itshallbefoundthatthespiritisdulydiffusedthroughout;thatthecharactersarevariousandnatural;welldistinguishedanduniformlysupportedandmaintained;iftherebeavarietyofincidentssufficienttoexciteattention,andthosesoconductedastokeepthereaderalwaysawake!thelengththenmustaddproportionablytothepleasurethateverypersonoftastereceivesfromawell-drawnpictureofnature.Butwherethecontraryofallthesequalitiesshocktheunderstanding,theextravagantperformancewillbejudgedtedious,though
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nolongerthanafairy-tale.'
FINIS